Hi, a bit of background:
My DH and I have been together for 8 years, and finally got married last October. This fall marks our one year wedding anniversary, and we just moved to a really wonderful new town (seriously on both of our want-to-live lists) so that I can start grad school to earn my MSEd and teaching certification. We’ve just settled into a fantastic rental house that I foresee us staying in until we can buy our own in the future. Husband has a great full-time job, our finances are in good order with about $8,000 in savings...And I have baby fever like WHOA.
I think most of the people in my life (parents for example) would think I was crazy and irresponsible if I got pregnant during grad school…but maybe I am crazy, because to me it doesn’t seem like the worst timing.
My school program is short and intensive, and I graduate December 2014. As a teacher, that set-up is a bit strange, since most job openings hire for the fall at the start of the school year. So I may possibly have a nine month gap between diploma and job.
And the thing that frightens me about teaching and starting a family is the very short amount of maternity leave…my own mother was a teacher and went back to work just weeks after I was born. I don’t want that for me and my future child. Logistically speaking, if I were to time things correctly, I could conceive in late spring of 2014 and most of my pregnancy would occur over the summer when I would only be taking one class, then in the fall (my last semester) during student teaching. I would graduate before Christmas, then have a baby in January (2015) and have 7-8 months with the baby before starting a teaching position.
So...is this crazy?
Thank you, Springshowers. It means a lot to hear that! I would also add that DH and I are 24 (him) and 25 (me) right now, so I think the age is what my family would have issues with. They see us as being very young...but we are very mature and responsible. I don't think 26 would be too young to have a first child.
I brought up this specific plan to DH last night...and he had a fairly major freak-out. We have talked about kids a lot, and he knows that I want to start a family, so his reaction came pretty unexpected to me. He's not ready to have a child. From his reaction, he's pretty obviously not ready. And last night I was very understanding with him, because I don't want to even broach the idea of raising a baby if he's not 100% on board...but today I feel depressed.
Oh sorry to hear of his reaction, maybe with time he'll be ready, but he probably was in the mindset of you finishing your program and then working. I would imagine you can do some substitute teaching or something fairly soon, even if you don't get a f/t placement right away, for what that's worth. But I'd also note that if you DH warms up to the idea and you do decide to go with your plan I'd aim for a due date of no earlier than February. If you have any pregnancy issues or end up being tired at the end, you don't really want that to parallel the very end of your intensive program exactly. Give yourself a month breathing room :)
Laurie wahm (virtual paralegal) of 3 wonderful boys (11, 9, 5). 1st by c-section for breech, 2 by VBAC (one miscarriage between child #1 and #2).
Well..DH surprised me last night. We were laying in bed talking before falling asleep and he brought up the subject of TTC again. He gave me a very sincere and heartfelt apology for his reaction last week...and told me that what he should have said was, "I know how important having kids is to you, and you're going to be a great mom. Let's see how we feel next spring. I just want to make sure that we feel stable and ready to have a baby. And maybe we will."
I'm glad your husband has come around to a more open-minded feeling. It's really important to have him on board!
I think your plan sounds great if you can time the conception no earlier than 3 weeks before your last academic responsibilities in the spring. Many moms are hit by pregnancy nausea in Week 4--I was, and in Week 7 between nausea and exhaustion I could barely move! It would have been a bad time for final exams. It's hard to predict how much nausea you'll have, but if it's a problem for you Weeks 4-12 are most likely to be the difficult ones.
Mama to a boy EnviroKid 10 years old and a little girl EnviroBaby !
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