Is this a crazy idea? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 08-15-2013, 10:28 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi, a bit of background:

 

My DH and I have been together for 8 years, and finally got married last October. This fall marks our one year wedding anniversary, and we just moved to a really wonderful new town (seriously on both of our want-to-live lists) so that I can start grad school to earn my MSEd and teaching certification. We’ve just settled into a fantastic rental house that I foresee us staying in until we can buy our own in the future. Husband has a great full-time job, our finances are in good order with about $8,000 in savings...And I have baby fever like WHOA.

 

I think most of the people in my life (parents for example) would think I was crazy and irresponsible if I got pregnant during grad school…but maybe I am crazy, because to me it doesn’t seem like the worst timing.

 

My school program is short and intensive, and I graduate December 2014. As a teacher, that set-up is a bit strange, since most job openings hire for the fall at the start of the school year. So I may possibly have a nine month gap between diploma and job.

And the thing that frightens me about teaching and starting a family is the very short amount of maternity leave…my own mother was a teacher and went back to work just weeks after I was born. I don’t want that for me and my future child. Logistically speaking, if I were to time things correctly, I could conceive in late spring of 2014 and most of my pregnancy would occur over the summer when I would only be taking one class, then in the fall (my last semester) during student teaching. I would graduate before Christmas, then have a baby in January (2015) and have 7-8 months with the baby before starting a teaching position.

 

 So...is this crazy?


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#2 of 10 Old 08-15-2013, 10:49 AM
 
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It sounds ideal!!!
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#3 of 10 Old 08-15-2013, 11:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
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hug.gif Thank you, Springshowers. It means a lot to hear that! I would also add that DH and I are 24 (him) and 25 (me) right now, so I think the age is what my family would have issues with. They see us as being very young...but we are very mature and responsible. I don't think 26 would be too young to have a first child.


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#4 of 10 Old 08-15-2013, 11:30 AM
 
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It would have been considered old a few decades ago to have your first child. I waited until my late thirties. Some people I knew from childhood had kids graduating high school when I had my first. I like that I have grown as person but would have liked to have my family earlier. It just didn't happen.
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#5 of 10 Old 08-16-2013, 10:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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 I brought up this specific plan to DH last night...and he had a fairly major freak-out. We have talked about kids a lot, and he knows that I want to start a family, so his reaction came pretty unexpected to me. He's not ready to have a child. From his reaction, he's pretty obviously not ready. And last night I was very understanding with him, because I don't want to even broach the idea of raising a baby if he's not 100% on board...but today I feel depressed. gloomy.gif


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#6 of 10 Old 08-18-2013, 10:13 AM
 
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Oh sorry to hear of his reaction, maybe with time he'll be ready, but he probably was in the mindset of you finishing your program and then working. I would imagine you can do some substitute teaching or something fairly soon, even if you don't get a f/t placement right away, for what that's worth. But I'd also note that if you DH warms up to the idea and you do decide to go with your plan I'd aim for a due date of no earlier than February. If you have any pregnancy issues or end up being tired at the end, you don't really want that to parallel the very end of your intensive program exactly. Give yourself a month breathing room :)


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#7 of 10 Old 08-19-2013, 10:46 AM
 
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Not all teaching positions offer such a short maternity leave. It will depend on the district's contract and whether or not you have professional status. I'm a high school teacher and am able to take 12 weeks of maternity leave with up to two years of additional child rearing leave if I so choose. Of course, this is not paid, so that may be part of your concern as well.
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#8 of 10 Old 08-20-2013, 09:14 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Well..DH surprised me last night. We were laying in bed talking before falling asleep and he brought up the subject of TTC again. He gave me a very sincere and heartfelt apology for his reaction last week...and told me that what he should have said was, "I know how important having kids is to you, and you're going to be a great mom. Let's see how we feel next spring. I just want to make sure that we feel stable and ready to have a baby. And maybe we will."

 

 So...yeah. shy.gif


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#9 of 10 Old 08-20-2013, 10:13 AM
 
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Awwww! They is a beautiful thing for him to say. And smart too. That will also give him more time to imagine having kids then too. It sounds like you have a great guy.
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#10 of 10 Old 08-22-2013, 08:25 AM
 
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I'm glad your husband has come around to a more open-minded feeling.  It's really important to have him on board!

 

I think your plan sounds great if you can time the conception no earlier than 3 weeks before your last academic responsibilities in the spring.  Many moms are hit by pregnancy nausea in Week 4--I was, and in Week 7 between nausea and exhaustion I could barely move!  It would have been a bad time for final exams.  It's hard to predict how much nausea you'll have, but if it's a problem for you Weeks 4-12 are most likely to be the difficult ones.


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