a million arms and three brains- just venting - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 09-30-2013, 05:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Have you ever felt the need to over achieve because you work? Dd goes to a home daycare and it never ceases to amaze me of how she is constantly criticizes me for not "trying" or that I love kids less because I work so must not care at all. I work hard to be perfect, to do everything right but sometimes its hard. I try to remember everything but between working running an at home business and taking classes here and there I forget things. Its like if I make a list to do of 50 things but only do 49 the one I forget is the one she criticizes me over. Don't get me wrong I can handle tough talk but what I cant handle is someone judging my love for my kids because I work.
I don't fuss to her about the diapers she never bring back or her losing all of the bottles... I do mean all if them. But mostly how she ruins their clothing because she refuses to use a bib. Then she complains that we don't dress them in their best. I wish I could go back to being a sahm.
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#2 of 11 Old 09-30-2013, 06:21 PM
 
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Honestly, I'd find a new care provider.


Mom to DS 4/24/03 and DD 4/17/06
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#3 of 11 Old 09-30-2013, 06:38 PM
 
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Are you saying your child care provider criticizes you?? That is incredible. Honestly that has never been part of my experience and my child care providers have become beloved family members whom we love. They support us and make us feel good about our choices and our jobs. I am reallly sorry you are having this experience. What are your options?


 
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#4 of 11 Old 09-30-2013, 06:41 PM
 
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I don't work outside the home, just saw this in the new posts, but I agree with Jolly. Why is this woman even doing daycare if she can't deal respecfully with parents who need her services?


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#5 of 11 Old 10-01-2013, 03:38 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My other options are staying at home, which I only like to do because I know I would go above and beyond for my kids but the mental stimulation is a killer, or finding a job closer to home and getting a new daycare lady. At first it was small stuff but now it's ridiculous. Anyone who tries to work and parent knows that it is a struggle to get all things right. I talked to DH who was so mad when I came home in tears. He said until we could make better arrangements he'd pick the girls up. She doesn't dislike him but let's just say she's not so forthcoming with her criticism when he's around. It still makes me mad that she thinks I don't care. The icing on the cake was, "You're not going to cry are you?". Didn't cry right then but I did cry the whole way home.
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#6 of 11 Old 10-01-2013, 12:36 PM
 
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She's lost your bottles and ruined your kids clothes- but you're the one who doesn't care!?

 

If it's at all possible- definitely try to find a new childcare option. Her attitude is unacceptable.


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#7 of 11 Old 10-01-2013, 03:02 PM
 
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Please do something loving for yourself and find a new child care provider. Think about what she must say to your kids when you are not around if she says those things to your face. Also, would she say that to a child even, 'you're not going to cry are you?'. For the sake of your kids, you need a new provider ASAP!. Most areas have a child care referral service. Please do it!! 

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#8 of 11 Old 10-02-2013, 08:24 AM - Thread Starter
 
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DH and I are looking into new options. It was something I wanted to do for a long time but didn't know where to start. For now the girls are staying with their grandma. My mother is a champion when it comes to them. Lauren and Sillysapling I read and reread your posts. They kept sticking in my mind. It broke my heart to even consider her saying anything to them hurtful. I couldn't see myself dropping them off one more day. I called her and told her that we'd no longer need her services. She tried to offer a discount but I passed. Lesson learned: Everything cheap isn't always good. Thanks for the support guys!
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#9 of 11 Old 10-02-2013, 09:23 AM
 
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Your post brought tears to my eyes. I am so glad you were able to do that and to make a better choice for your kids and also for YOU! You deserve better than that. Your child care provider should be a loving presence that supports your parenting and your kids. We have always thought of our providers as third parents--our children look up to them and we love them too. They often have unique, objective viewpoints on my kids.  We have been really fortunate in having two amazing home providers over the years.

 

I truly hope you are able to find a terrific provider for your family. There are subsidies available for child care for families that are dealing with a variety of factors. Not sure where you are but google things like "child care referral" or "child care subsidy" and I hope you find some excellent leads.

 

Keep us posted on how things go!!


 
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#10 of 11 Old 10-02-2013, 09:26 AM
 
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Here are some resources in your area:

 

http://www.childcareresourcesinc.org/

http://www.childcareresourcesinc.org/ccrrs/nc-child-care-resource-referral-council/

http://ncchildcare.dhhs.state.nc.us/parents/pr_sn2_ov_fa.asp


 
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#11 of 11 Old 10-04-2013, 01:13 PM
 
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Oh my, I'm so sorry I didn't see this post until now, but glad to hear you got your children out of there! Your former provider was way out of line, good grief, and on top of other issues (not using bibs, losing bottles, etc.) wow. Glad your DH was behind you too. I can't believe she criticized you like that, I agree with the other posters, your childcare provider should absolutely be on your side and be a helpful, caring presence in your life. I'm glad they are with Grandma for now and if that can't be a permanent solution, I wish you all the best in finding a great provider, they are out there for sure!

Katie trekkie.gif - Married to Mike 06/02/01, Mom to Sydney Anne born 11/21/09 and Alice Maeryn & Oliver Thomas born 04/24/13  hug.gif 

 

 

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