Ahhh! Nerves! And uncertainty!
I have a job interview tomorrow that was totally unexpected. I hadn't been actively looking for a job, a few months ago we were really stressed about money and I offered to go back to work. DH was very much on the "No no, I will just work more because you being home is more valuable.". Meanwhile, we have been behind on bills, constantly playing catch up, and only make our most basic ends meet. While staying home might be the 'ideal', we struggle every day to make it work.
I am currently training to be a doula but for anyone who has gone through that, it is very flexible as well as a long process- I probably won't be done with my certifying births for another year or more. In the meantime, our 3 oldest are in full time elementary school and my baby is now a 20 month old toddler. With my first two (from another relationship) I went back to work by the time they were 20 months. So far, I have stayed home because it seemed financially more practical and I am pretty attached to my little guy. I'm just starting to get concerned and fed up with a few things- One, is that the small amount of income I do make on the side while being a SAHM will probably go away in the summer. So we will have to scramble to make that up for 3 months. Another is that in order to cover all our needs I also rely on my child support payments, and my ex has been know to randomly quit his job with no warning and not pay it for several months at a time. SO I suppose I am not very secure about my side of financial contribution?
I'm also pretty tired of DH getting super stressed about money, and letting me know it. While he always supports and promoted me staying home, it also puts me in a weird place of feeling kind of helpless to contribute. Any time I offer to go back to work we either figure out it will even out in the end or DH says he'll "take a side job" (web/computer stuff) and just make the same amount me would come out ahaed with a much less time consuming job. Which would be great, except... He already works really hard at his full time job, and he often already is taking side jobs, so taking on MORE would mean more time that he's working/stresses/away from the family/letting me do ALL the house & kid stuff. In theory "taking on a side job" sounds simple, but it still means he would have to find them, and follow through.
So strange enough I got a call about a job I put in a resume for randomly awhile back when we were having one of those stressful times. Just yeasterday DH brough up money stress again. Then I get a call for a job interview, and they seemed really excited, and the hours work well. It's at a childcare center (My background is in early childhood) and my toddler would get to go for free! Unfortunately, childcare jobs usually don't pay well (hence the childcare perk- which is really a good deal), so in the end- after swapping out the money i make on the side right now- we would only come out $300-$400 ahead than where we are at. I currently "work" 10 hours a week, and this will at 25 more (it's 35 hours/wk). Obviously it seems like very little gain (especially to those who make high incomes), but it's 300-400 we don't have, and we barely make ends meet.
My question is... If you were in my shoes, would you do it? For that much (or little) gain? I know it would mean having to change our dynamic, and add some stress, but part of me feels like It could help us get out of the rut we are stuck in, and give me some control over our financial situation.
Reasons not to do it would be if childcare for working hours put you in a hole, or if you needed to find something better paying.
MeepyCat- My thoughts exactly! even if DH were to still take an extra job here & there, it would be nice to tack that on to a reliable 3-400 froma steady job, we could start paying some debts or setting money aside for a new (used) family car- my AC has been busted for 2 summers in a row now, and I could get my same car with working ac for what it would cost to fix, lol. I'm really concerned about the summer, because I won't be making my side income and then where will we be?
Childcare being free- and I have always loved working in childcare when my kids were little because I was working but got to be around my kids all day- even if they were in another class- and that is pretty awesome. My DSS is already in morning/afternoon school plus because of his mom's job- and we have to pay half and pretty much don't use it at this point, so might as well put it to use? And my parents are going to help get DS2 to and from school, help with summer vacation, etc. DS1 gets the bus and stays late with developmental therapy, he gets home at 5 and the job hours end at 4 :) It just... All seems to work out, so it's hard to turn my nose up at!
Will you be working in the same room as little guy? Would you miss the one on one with him? These could be the cons to me. You could do it for awhile and catch up/save up, take a year with him before sending him to school (if school is the plan). Then back to career path if that's your schooling or work.
Disclaimer: this is a pet peeve of mine - the cost of daycare should not be subtracted only form the mom's income, but the dad's also. There's more to having a job than the instant income today.
The interview went amazing! I was actually pretty proud of myself- it's been soooo long since I interviewed and I was totally confident and at ease- perhaps the value of being ok if you "don't get the job"? In the past i was always super nervous because I really, really needed the job. A job would help a lot right now, but we could manage somehow if it didn't pan out. The owners/ management were really friendly, talkative, and comfortable people. I could imagine working for them and it being a good atmosphere. They called me back today to set up a "working interview" (typical of working in childcare centers) for Monday! I have a pretty good feeling about it :)
Big change though! I am totally confident about my skills and going back to work for the time being, but it will be the first time DS3 will be in childcare and that is stressful! But I remember when DS2 was his age and I was already back to work, and he loved his teachers and classmates so much- and he was much slower to warm than DS3 is! Plus I will literally be in the classroom next door. Still, it's rough on a mama!
DH is starting to turn around. I think deep down his issue is that he has managed to work his butt off for the last 2 years to support all of us on his own, and even though things are tight and it's stressful for him he has managed to keep us afloat. I think for him me going back to work is like admitting defeat in some way. Which is interesting because when I was inlate pregnancy he assumed I would go back to work once the baby was a few months old! (DSS went into childcare right away so his mom could go back to work, it's what DH was familiar with. I was familiar with being a SAHM for the early years). But I think DH has seen the value in me being "home". Basically he has shed most household responsibilities (which has been an issue lately) and his excuse is working. I think he's worried I won't be able to manage the house AND work. However, one of the reasons i was considering going back to work was DS3 is getting super active and wanting a lot of interaction, and it has been keeping me from a lot of household stuff. I think he would enjoy playing with his peers and having structure in his days. Just a big transition!
Also... and to be a little vent-y... As the only SAHP in a blended family, I kind of get the doormat treatment. I love being there for all our kids, but it's gotten to the point where our exes (who have hunbands/wives) just assume I will take the kids on days off/holidays/breaks/summer/when kids are sick. The sick one really irks me- just today DH's ex asked if DSS could stay with me because he is puking. PUKING. So they don't have to miss work, or their partner. Same with my ex- they assume I will cover so they can work. Because I love my kids and of course I want them around, but it's all so they can go make money, and don't have to stay home dealing with it or hiring a sitter. It seems like a lame thing to get frustrated over because it's not about me not wanting to be with the kids at all, it's just about feeling taken advantage of at times :/
You sound so ready to re-enter the workforce! So glad the interview went well!
The part about taking the sick kids.....geez, that totally sounds like taking advantage of you.I could see how you would want to escape from that!!
Good luck with part 2 of the interview. I hope you get the job!