Am I Wrong? Mother-In-Law Question - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 05-19-2014, 04:31 AM - Thread Starter
 
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So. My significant other is 10 years older than me. He has a child from a high school relationship--being that he's that much older than me, I'm only 10 year older than his child. I didn't meet her for quite awhile which I totally understood/respected since I too have a child from a previous relationship and I totally get waiting to introduce children to significant others. 

 

We're now getting married soon and I've met the child and all is well. Initially, his daughter felt a bit replaced/jealous of me & my daughter like we were taking her place. Understandable how she could feel that way even though that was not the case. My fiance talked with her and we hung out with her a bit and have spent more & more time together ever since. She's a great kid and I enjoy spending time with her. 

 

My fiance's mom has no filter. She probably does not intend to be rude but I find her to be rude and unintentionally insulting. While I realize that's never her intention and she doesn't always mean for what she says to come across as rude as it does, it irritates me that I'm supposed to just put up with "that's just how she is."

 

When my fiance's daughter initially was feeling jealous etc. my fiances mom asked me if the daughter and I were getting along. His daughter is EXTREMELY quiet but a really nice girl so I told his mom that we were getting along, she's quiet but seems like a sweet kid. His mom then said to me "good. I knew it couldn't be her fault so I figured it had to be you." Implying that it was directly my fault that she was feeling jealous/replaced.

 

Fast forward 9 or so months. There have been little digs here and there. But then yesterday we decided to make a visit and his mom tells me again "I think it's really taken her a while to get used to having you around." Which if that's true I understand. I just think it's rude to say that. My fiance says "you guys (me & his mom) need to communicate better." Personally,  I think she needs to be more aware of what she says and how it comes across. 

 

Am I completely wrong on this one? 

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#2 of 4 Old 05-19-2014, 04:38 AM
 
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Hi lauranhc! I wanted to check in with you; I was about to move this to the Blended Family subforum, but I see you already cross posted it there. 

 

Was there an aspect of this dilemma that is specific to being a Working/Student Mama--since that is the forum this landed in?


 
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#3 of 4 Old 05-19-2014, 04:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Nope--just wasn't sure where to put it. You can delete it from here if you need to. Thanks! :) 

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#4 of 4 Old 05-19-2014, 05:36 AM
 
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I'll just close it. Here is your other thread in Blended:

 

http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1402140/mother-in-law-am-i-wrong


 
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