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-   -   Preparing toddler for nanny's departure (http://www.mothering.com/forum/159-working-student-parents/1423914-preparing-toddler-nanny-s-departure.html)

hyde 06-14-2014 08:46 PM

Preparing toddler for nanny's departure
 
Anyone have experience with preparing a <2 year old for the loss of a caregiver?

Our beloved sitter/nanny has been with us since my 21 month old was about 6 months. She'll be moving out of state at the end of next month. We have already started my daughter a couple days a week at the daycare she'll be attending in lieu of hiring another nanny, and she's doing quite well there so I'm not worried about the transition on that end. What I'm wondering about is how to handle the topic with my daughter as the time approaches.

My plan right now is less about preparing, I guess, and more about helping her process- telling her the nanny is in her new house, having a picture of them around for her to look at if she wants. Grandparents are not local so she's used to people being not-here, but this is the first time someone who has been such an important, regular part of her life will be disappearing. My heart is kind of broken already thinking that hers will hurt from this loss. Any tips or experiences would be appreciated.

Polliwog 06-15-2014 04:15 PM

Can you Skype after she's gone?

JudiAU 06-16-2014 12:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hyde (Post 17697682)
Anyone have experience with preparing a <2 year old for the loss of a caregiver?

Our beloved sitter/nanny has been with us since my 21 month old was about 6 months. She'll be moving out of state at the end of next month. We have already started my daughter a couple days a week at the daycare she'll be attending in lieu of hiring another nanny, and she's doing quite well there so I'm not worried about the transition on that end. What I'm wondering about is how to handle the topic with my daughter as the time approaches.

My plan right now is less about preparing, I guess, and more about helping her process- telling her the nanny is in her new house, having a picture of them around for her to look at if she wants. Grandparents are not local so she's used to people being not-here, but this is the first time someone who has been such an important, regular part of her life will be disappearing. My heart is kind of broken already thinking that hers will hurt from this loss. Any tips or experiences would be appreciated.

When our nanny left she made a book through shutter fly filled without the 9000 pictures she had taken of the kids, her and the kids, and her daughter and the kids. There was a story of a ship ride framing the whole thing. My kids really like it and still look at it from time to time.They do see her on occasion because she lives locally and other than my five year old occasionally encouraging me to go back to work so she can work for us again (eye roll) we have a lovely relationship.

Perhaps a tangible object would help.

graciegal 06-24-2014 11:45 AM

My nanny just left after being with us for a little over a year and a half. I thought my daughter was going to be really sad about it, but I realized that kids have short attention spans and she honestly was over it pretty much on day one. We said that she'd (the nanny) try to visit so she clung to that idea over the weekend but really hasn't even said her name since (it's been two weeks). I was more sad than she was! My daughter is 3.5 years old. Our 1.5 year old son has no clue anything is even different. We loved our nanny, she was amazing.


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