Upset about having to go back to work - Mothering Forums

 
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#1 of 7 Old 07-21-2014, 07:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Upset about having to go back to work

We've had some financial issues the past few years: income not matching expenses, child support stopped, tons of house repairs...basically dh had urged me to find a job. But I hadn't worked in over a decade. I've spent the past decade being a SAHM/Homeschooling Mom and thinking of that as my life-happily. That's what I want to do! I have no ambition for anything else. I had several high-stress jobs that cost me the baby years of my first two kids and we didn't want that anymore, so we designed our lives around me being a SAHM. And now that's crumbled. I feel like life was a rug just ripped out from under me. My certifications and old jobs are expired or defunct, so I'm starting at an entry-level minimum wage job. It's not the worst job out there, and I should feel lucky. But I don't. I'm miserable and depressed about this.

I guess I don't know what I want. Commisseration? Someone to NOT tell me to suck it up and feel lucky and that my feelings are valid that it sucks to start from scratch again and to ruin my vision of my life?

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#2 of 7 Old 07-21-2014, 07:36 PM
 
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I completely understand your feelings Kittywitty. I had something similar happen also. It's very rough. But once you make a plan or even just create an idea of what you'd like to do, it does seem to feel a bit easier. Hang in there though! Things will get better! *hugs*

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#3 of 7 Old 07-21-2014, 07:52 PM
 
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I totally understand your feelings and you're right to be upset mama! Anything that changes our life plans is stressful but to change a part of our lives that will affect our child's raising or how we wanted to raise them is especially tough. I don't know what to offer than hugs and support if you want to vent.

Is there any other option? I know you've been over and over it but if you'd like we might could help brainstorm some ideas. Maybe some way to save money or make a little at home to offset the difference. Good luck!

Michelle mom to DD , DS , & lil DD and spending my days
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#4 of 7 Old 07-22-2014, 12:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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The biggest issue is the huge credit card debt we've piled up because of this house. We were supposed to havea 5-10 year guarantee on certain things for our USDA loan and basically the owners made everything look pretty and the inspector missed HUGE issues. Like the roof flying off within the first month, the boiler system being rusted entirely through, the porch caving in, pest issues, etc. So were were told these wouldn't be issues for our low-income rural homebuyer loan, and we were lied to. It's too late for legal reprecussions (I contacted the bank within a couple weeks of moving in and they said I had no legal recourse and I stupidly believed them), and we are hoping to sell the house and rent for awhile to regain our footing. But so much needs fixed to sell. The market here sucks and it's market value is about what we bought it at, so we will actually take a loss selling from realtor fees since we've paid $40k in interest and only $4k towards capital. It's just horribly upsetting.

And now I look into our medicaid and we might lose our state medicaid if I work since we're near the line. Dh's health insurance is $1600/month through work, and that's 60%+ of our income. We can't do that. I just don't know. I wish there was a way to "buckle down", but we really don't waste money as it is.

Dh did tell me to quit the job last night. We will have to cancel on our entirely paid for free vacation with family-our first real vacation ever. And with the insurance and tax issues, we will probably end up with LESS money if I work. Ugh. I would hate to quit when I'm in training, though. It doesn't seem right to leave them high and dry like that.

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#5 of 7 Old 11-02-2014, 06:49 PM
 
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I can totally relate to you kitty. Try to think positive thoughts. I am sure it will work out for you and when it does, harsh times will only be in the memories...
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#6 of 7 Old 12-17-2014, 08:16 PM
 
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I get it. I feel upset about having never been able to stop. It's as though I educated and career-pathed myself out of that option as I am the breadwinner (I didn't have kids until I was 35 and had been practicing law for 8 years at that point). And the plans for me to come home with my ex never materialized.

It sounds like you have the support of your husband and likely will be home again before too long!

Mama to add 10/05; ds 3/09, and two angels. Expecting my 2nd rainbow baby 2/15!
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#7 of 7 Old 12-29-2014, 01:45 PM
 
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OP - it is really sad that you are being forced to work in that way. I only hope that your job is a good one in the sense that you are well treated and the work isn't too offensive for you. Although if you think you'll end up losing money (or being really close) due to health insurance then maybe it isn't even worth it for you to work.

Honeybunmum - i'm a lawyer too and recently had my second. It is a hogwash doing this work and being a mum. But overall I'm happy that i continue to work - i just wish that i had a bit more time off with each child.
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