HOw do babies nap at day care? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 13 Old 08-18-2004, 04:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My sister was my babysitter last year. Now she is starting an at home day care. I am not so happy. I think ds (12.5 months) is too little for day care and I'd prefer one on one care. I got into a huge fight with sister today when she said she was getting a portacrib for my son. I want him to be rocked to sleep then laid on the floor. I think the crib will allow her to leave him therei and not attend to his needs. What do other day cares do? She tells me they just have nap time and babies adjust but I don't believe it. He is hard to put to sleep and has never fallen asleep on his own.
Whats the routine at your day care?
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#2 of 13 Old 08-18-2004, 05:02 PM
 
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I think it depends on the daycare. I specifically picked one that would rock dd to sleep. I went back to work when she was 8 months and she' now 20 months. She still hasn't had to put herself to sleep. I think some kids are easier but my dd is a party til you drop girl. When she was in the infant room, they rocked her or sat with her in the nap room (she was in a crib) or they set up a "bed" on the floor in the playroom, when there weren't enough teachers to sit with her by herself. In the Toddler room, sometimes they lie with her in the napping room, other times they set up a bed on the floor in the play room and she falls asleep there. Pretty much as long as she's not left alone, she'll fall asleep eventually.

I would discuss your concerns with your sister. Plus, if he's not used to a port-a-crib it may not work at all.

And about the being too young...I was worried about this too and almost got a nanny instead, but dd loved having other kids to play with, she loves helping with the babies. And they learn a ton from each other...as long as there are only a few other kids so he still gets the attention he needs, your son may really enjoy it.

Just my 2cents...Good Luck!
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#3 of 13 Old 08-18-2004, 05:11 PM
 
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Exactly what Jess just said ...

Sounds like our experience - at dc they rock dd to sleep or will lie down with her on a mat. Luckily one of the caregovers coslpet with her kids and understood dd's need for a person to fall asleep.

At 1 she has fun with the other babies, too.
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#4 of 13 Old 08-18-2004, 05:14 PM
 
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It really depends on the daycare and the situation. My daughter goes to a home daycare, and has since she was 5 weeks old. She's pretty easy to get to sleep though. Mostly DCP lays her in a crib, gives her "blanket" and "panda" and she rolls over and sleeps. If that doesn't work, DCP will rock her for a while, and if she still isn't sleepy, the nap is put off until later. My DCP has really strict instructions not to allow crying to sleep.

After having DS and DD in daycare and DS going on to preschool, I have finally come to realize that what happens at home is never what happens at daycare or preschool. My impossible-to-get-to-sleep DS is the nap champ at preschool. I think it has something to do with a very regular routine, very consistant cues, and positive peer pressure ("everyone else is trying to nap so I should too"). Whatever it is, don't automatically assume it won't work for your child. It just might.

Personally, I wouldn't want my child sleeping on the floor of daycare because I would worry about other children falling or stepping on her. Because DCP doesn't insist on naps at set schedules if the child doesn't seem sleepy, there are always one or two in "play mode" when DD is sleeping. I think she's safer in the crib room.
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#5 of 13 Old 08-19-2004, 02:21 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I told my sister that I was concerned about sleeping and snacks but she says "jsut relax, he'll be fine" but that doesn't make me feel relaxed at all! I don't like that this day care so far is a 6 month old, a 12 month old (ds), a 20 month old and a five year old and just my sister. It seems like very different ages to deal with naps and eating. I am glad your babies are rocked to sleep.
She acted like I was crazy for suggesting it. She said this is how we do things at daycare, the kids adjust. Since I used to run afterschool programs, I think the parents can have realistic requests and the day care makes accomadations as well as it can.
I think I need to find a bigger more professional place with more people, or a very small 1-2 kid situation.
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#6 of 13 Old 08-19-2004, 09:45 AM
 
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My son is in a large daycare facility, but it is run by the hospital I work for, and so a little more cognizant of these issues.

In the infant room (teacher + assistant and often a volunteer for up to 8 babies), the cribs were in the same room. Babies were usually put in the cribs with music, pacifiers, etc., if they could go to sleep easily. If they fussed, they were patted or bounced (in a bouncer) to sleep. Rocking to sleep happened sometimes, but they tried to keep them where they would be going to sleep to prevent the "waking when put down" problem. I occasionally had problems with them not being as responsive to the other babies, but since I always emphasized to my DCP to be very responsive, no crying, she gave extra effort for DS. Though they usually tried to avoid crying since it would wake up the other babies!

He's now in the older infant room and his DCP is very AP (and even more so now with my influence!) They have cribs and mats in a separate room and babies who need it are patted, bounced, or rocked to sleep. I wouldn't feel comfy with him on a mat or the floor if not in a special room for it -- those babies can trample each other!

All babies are put to sleep based on their cues -- no scheduled nap time, at least not until the preschool rooms.

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#7 of 13 Old 08-19-2004, 10:07 AM
 
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My son has been in daycare since he was 8 weeks. When he was an infant, the provider had a policy of whatever works best for that child is what is done. Some children preferred to be rocked, they did it. Some just wanted to be put in their cribs and go to sleep on their own. They were very conscious of the needs of the children. There were eight children and two staff in the room. Since we co-slept, I thought that he would never sleep there. His main care provider, a wonderful patient woman and mom to three, would rock him and cuddle him then rub his back when he went to sleep. This wouldn't work at home, but it worked there. At the place we go to now, it is similar. It is all child led. I have often walked in to see the staff rocking children, sometimes two to a lap. CIO, isn't an option. There was one child that didn't want any type of comfort. He wouldn't tolerate being held, rocked, or patted. He preferred to mutter alone in a crib.

It is important to share your concerns with the person who will be responsible for your child. Kids really do adjust. My son is different at daycare than he is at home. At daycare he will now cuddle up with his blankets and stuffed friends on his mat and go to sleep. At home it is a series of stories, music, cuddles and nighttime visits.
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#8 of 13 Old 08-19-2004, 12:23 PM
 
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my daughter's in an inhome daycare. and i agree with the other posters...kids figure it out. and i don't think it really stresses them out too too much.

on naps -- my dd sleeps in a pack and play. she loves it and snuggles up to the edge of the crib. I think it helps protect her from the other older kids -- they want to snuggle her when she's sleeping (who wouldn't? she's darn cute). We tried just a mat on the floor and my daughter (who doesn't sleep in a crib at home) wouldn't hear of it.

on snacks -- my daughter is on a reasonably flexible schedule. More so than at home, but when they change theschedule she gets all out of sorts. she gets there at 9, has a snack, naps (she takes a 2-3 hr morning nap), then wakes up whenever she does and has lunch. The other kids sometimes may have already had lunch. Then if she's there in the afternoon, there's an afternoon snack. This routine has evolved through time. She's been there since she was about 4 months old. The older kids (and really anyone not napping at the time) eat family style. She'll make lunch -- fruit, sandwiches, whatever and then they all serve themselves. Erin who is 21 months won't eat at home without a napkin. She didn't learn that from us!

on other kids. I was really surprised at how into the babies the other kids were. The 3-4 yr olds bring the younger ones toys and love to play with them. helpful because when dcp is making lunch or something the kiddos are still busy. All thekids are pt except dcp's own. so there's
4 mo boy
10 mo girl
21 mo (my daughter)
38 mo boy
4 yr girl
4 yr boy
and then three school age kids.

It works really well and i agree that the kids who are not great nappers at home nap fabulously at day care.

Honestly -- bigger, more professional space will likely mean less attentive to your own needs. I'd give it a go with your sister. So long as she is reasonably prepared for stuff like snacks and whatnot she can do it.

Kristin -- mom of Erin (11/5/02) and Leah (9/29/05)
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#9 of 13 Old 08-19-2004, 01:14 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jmoreno
I think I need to find a bigger more professional place with more people, or a very small 1-2 kid situation.
Or maybe an in-home situation with a more experienced caregiver. I think the fact that your sister isn't being responsive to your concerns (in fact, is dismissing them out of hand) indicates that this is not a good match for you. Would you be even thinking of this situation if she wasn't your sister? For me, the "just don't worry about it, you are too uptight" response would be an instant signal that this is not a caregiver I would be comfortable with. Unfortunately, because it may cause hurt feelings, I think you need to find another situation that better matches your concerns and expectations. The good news is, as many of us have demonstrated, they are out there! Good luck in finding the right one for you.
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#10 of 13 Old 08-20-2004, 02:44 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Evan and ana's mom you are right. If she wasn't my sister I would not be considering this option. She watched him last year (I'm a teacher) and it was ok one on one but I think she is in over her head. And telling me to relax just pushes me!!!! :
I think she hasn't thought out the details. I'm just afraid of him crying to sleep, or choking on a snack. Is she going to tell other concerned parents to just relax?

I've called around. I'm trying to get my mom to quit her job and become my nanny. I think it might work!
Thank you all for your input!
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#11 of 13 Old 08-20-2004, 11:57 AM
 
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i think e and a's mom you are very insightful. Change my post to ---> a home daycare setting can work well for you, but this one might not be the best right now.

Kristin -- mom of Erin (11/5/02) and Leah (9/29/05)
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#12 of 13 Old 08-21-2004, 02:14 AM - Thread Starter
 
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UPDATE-- I actually found an awesome day care for ds today. I was there late in the afternoon but it was still calm and clean. The lady is so knowledgable, experienecd and loving. And she has tons of help and a fun house. I am actually excited for him to have kids to play with. Its 3 half days there, the rest with my mom and grandma.
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#13 of 13 Old 09-02-2004, 05:30 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Evan&Anna's_Mom
It really depends on the daycare and the situation. ..I have finally come to realize that what happens at home is never what happens at daycare or preschool.
Bing-GO! I used to kill myself on weekends trying to duplicate the exact schedules from Day Care and get my kid to sleep. But it's clearly not the same and she knew it. So much happier when I finally figured out I could sleep in on weekends, have a late brunch, and go to bed late all with my daughter. I don't know how they do it, but kids do sleep in day care. Must be everything mentioned - cues, peer pressure, regular routines. They tell me DD and other kids just go right to sleep on their little cots, no problems. Sometimes we have to rub their backs, but they all go to sleep. This is NOT my experience at home. She sleeps 12-3 pm in Day Care and I'm lucky if I get an hour nap from 2-3 pm.

DD is 18 mos old. Day Care started at about 51/2 mos. I took 12 weeks FMLA and her father took 8 weeks FMLA. Highly recommend that if you can do it, BTW.

Third generation WOHM. I work by choice.
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