How much are you home with your kids? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 02-02-2005, 02:57 AM - Thread Starter
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I just want to get some perspective. I am wondering how much other people are able to be at home, with their kids, relaxing or at least not working on outside stuff. I feel like I am never able to just be at home. We are running between childcare helpers (my mom, dh's mom, my dad, at school with dh) or running errands. We just dont' spend a lot of time hanging out. We usually come home to nap in the afternoons, and the few hours before bed, but man, we are always going.

How do you juggle it all and get quality time?

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#2 of 10 Old 02-02-2005, 04:10 PM
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We generally don't get out of the house on Saturdays before noon. So that's our lazing around time. If I think the errand will be fun for DD, we try to do it on Saturday, if not, I do it at lunch at work. I think the post office is kind of fun because there is some waiting around and I'm pretty relaxed about it. Lots to look at, new people to interact with. I like to take her to the post office. Dry cleaning is a quick in-out and not worth the car seat strap/unstrap, so I try to do that alone. DH takes our 2 yo grocery shopping on weekends. I've taken her to have the car inspected and the oil change - they meet my fun criteria.

I'm not much into the idea of "quality" time in the sense that I feel we need to do special child-centered things with DD. Like playgrounds or play groups or special classes. But I do try to bring her into my activities, whatever they may be. She seems to enjoy just being part of my life, so I don't make special efforts for "quality time."

Third generation WOHM. I work by choice.
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#3 of 10 Old 02-02-2005, 04:20 PM
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We spend every night just hanging out. I'm a horrible housekeeper and I do not cook. I really only clean after he goes to bed and on the weekends during naps. He doesn't play on his own so it's either forget about trying to do housework or have a screaming baby clutched onto your leg.
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#4 of 10 Old 02-02-2005, 04:30 PM
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we are always at home with the exception of wed. afternoon music lessons and oldest dd goes to preschool 2 mornings a week. We go to the library once every two weeks and the odd birthday party.

either dh does the shopping or I go at night. I really limit my time out of the house because I know that in the next year or so it will be in and out constantly with kindergarten and preschool...

we do go outside in out backyard which backs on to soccor fields, nature trails and an old park. so if were not home we are usually out back.
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#5 of 10 Old 02-03-2005, 03:04 PM
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Because we have childcare that comes to our home I feel we have lots of "down" time. There is no major morning rush since my son can sleep till whenever and doesn't need to get dressed and fed right away. I also gain that time at night since I don't have to worry about making lunches/snacks or packing a bag. She takes cares of my son’s laundry, keeps his toys picked up and decluttered and does occasional shopping. This was one of my deciding factors in having a nanny.

We have family dinners most every night, which to me is very relaxing since I like to cook and my son loves to “help”. It’s a great time to catch up so I cherish the nights after work.

Weekends right now are pretty relaxed too since at 3 my son has little to no outside activities such as sports and the like. This means we can set the pace and never really have to rush around. I am sure this will change as my son gets older.

Most weekends we pretty much hang as a family with the occasional get together with friends. I like to casually entertain so most Friday nights we have family and/or friends over as well. The kids all love to play and it’s a great way to end the week.

We also do a lot of weekend errands as a family too, like grocery shopping. Sure, it takes longer than if we divided and conquered but we make it into a fun thing and (so far) my son loves to hit the markets, pick out the fruits and veggies, etc.

Over all I feel really lucky and while I miss my son during the day I also feel that we are strongly connected. He is my priority when I am home and I just let the rest of the stuff slide. Who really cares if the beds get made or dishes washed everyday? Not us!!

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#6 of 10 Old 02-03-2005, 10:20 PM
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Well, my office is in my home, so most of the time I am home all day, but in my office. I see my DD for 10 minutes every two hours to nurse. I also see her for an hour in the morning for breakfast.

I quit a 5pm and we hang out until bedtime at 7pm. I spend all weekend with her, with the exception of and 90 minutes a day when I exercise and shower.

Now that I've written it down, it doesn't look like much. But it is... she is busy with my DH the rest of the day with naps, playdates, swim classes and gym.
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#7 of 10 Old 02-03-2005, 11:39 PM
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During the week--not much. I usually don't get home until at least 6:30, and then it's time for dinner, homework, baths, etc. We do spend some family time before bed reading stories, talking, etc, but the weekends are our *real* family time. I try to very carefully gaurd our weekend time so we have as much time together as a family as possible. Dh and I do not commit to things for the weekends unless it involves the whole family. I wish we had more time during the week, but for right now this is the way it is!
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#8 of 10 Old 02-04-2005, 02:17 PM
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Everything that hollybearsmom said. We also have care in the house so I don't have to worry about morning wakeup or getting things together for the day time. I leave for work at 7 because dd usually sleeps until 8:15 so the earlier I can get to work, the better. I am home, to a clean house, at 5. From 5 until bedtime around 9, it's pretty much all about baby. She helps me cook dinner and we always sit down and eat as a family. We rarely do anything major on the weekends: shop and cook and hang out with friends. I try and get most personal errands and work done on my lunch break--pay bills, run to the store etc.

I miss out on a lot of fun things she gets to do: classes at the library, play dates with friends, trips to museums, but I feel like I get to spend lots of time with her every day! And I am glad she can do fun things even if I am not with her.

I sometimes wonder what keeps people so busy in the evenings and weekends (other WOHM or just working friends). I never really seem to have much to do at all. It's the same thing with people on cell phones--I wonder who they are all talking to. I just don't have that many (or any, really) urgent phone calls. I guess I'm just boring. But I guess I like it like that....

Mama to two wonderful daughers: 02/03/03 and 10/19/05
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#9 of 10 Old 02-04-2005, 08:02 PM
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I work part time -- full days on Tuesdays and Thursdays, half days MWF -- so I have lots of kid time. DH works and goes to school, so he's home with the kids MWF morning but gone after 1:30 every day and doesn't get home until after 11:00pm most nights. Kids go to dcp Tuesdays and Thursdays for play time with friends.

For me, it's not a question of limited time with the kids, it's time for the four of us together (rare but happens weekend mornings and we often do chores or run errands all together) and time for just the two of us (extremely rare and involves a convergence of time off work, everyone healthy, and available grandparents to babysit). Fortunately, we have just such a convergence tomorrow night! Whee!
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#10 of 10 Old 02-05-2005, 12:03 AM - Thread Starter
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It is good to hear that others are busy too. DD is usually with one of us, or both, but we aren't sitting at our house a lot. We spend a lot of time at grandmas house or grandpa's. And we don't have a washing machine so we spend tons of time doing that at my dad's. But I feel like she is comfortable at family's homes and it is second best to being in her space.

Starting school again has really made me miss that downtime! Oh well, it is how it has to be.

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