My son was bitten! ARGH! SO MAD! - Mothering Forums

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Old 04-22-2005, 05:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am upset right now...I just got a call from my son's daycare letting me know he got bitten in the hand by another child.

How does a kid get bitten in the hand unless the other child GRABS them and bites it?!

I AM SO MAD!!!!

They can't tell me who did it, but I already know who it is. She's the bossiest little kid, always pushing other kids down and taking things away from them. I've only met her mom a handful of times but let's just say I know where she gets it from.



Like I don't feel bad enough sending him there, now this has to go and happen. They told me the skin was broken, it "looks a lot better" after cleaning it up and putting cream on it, but that it will bruise.

My poor boy!

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Old 04-22-2005, 05:35 PM
 
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Be careful about casting blame, momma. Lots of kids bite. It is a pretty normal stage. Even kids of wonderful AP mommas, sometimes bite.

I am so sorry for your babe. Kiss it and make it all better. Oh, and they never tell who did it because some parents go a bit off when their babies are hurt.

Maureen
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Old 04-22-2005, 05:40 PM
 
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Why in the world can't they tell you who it was?? Sorry to hear about this. I would demand to know who it was and since the skin is broken I would demand a complete health history of the child that bit. From the picture you paint, sounds like this may give the mom a wake up call to her childs biting issue, as it is not to be taken lightly. I'd give that mom a firm, but non offensive piece of your mind. Just my 2 cents. Hope your baby is okay.
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Old 04-22-2005, 05:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MsMoMpls
Be careful about casting blame, momma. Lots of kids bite. It is a pretty normal stage. Even kids of wonderful AP mommas, sometimes bite.
I'm sure they do, and that's why I'm ranting here rather than saying anything to anyone at the daycare.
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Old 04-22-2005, 05:45 PM
 
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I'm sorry that your child was injured. I hope that he heals fast.

My ds has been known to be the aggressive one at his daycare from time to time (he pulls hair when he's frustrated), as well as the victim of aggression, and I want to say that it was harder for me to hear that he had hurt another child then to hear that he had been the one hurt. (He has never been badly hurt, mind you.) The other parents are probably feeling pretty badly, I'm guessing. It's not the parent's fault if their child bites. As a PP said, it's a normal stage, and a form of communication. Not that it's ok, just that it's not that surprising.
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Old 04-22-2005, 05:50 PM
 
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Hey mama, I'd call your doctor pronto before they close for the weekend and tell them. My son's been bitten 2X at daycare - the time that broke the skin, it got infected and I didn't think to call the doc until he was running a fever for no apparent reason. We needed a script for augmentin (apparently ammox doesn't work for human bites).
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Old 04-22-2005, 06:09 PM
 
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Sorry about your baby mama!! Sammy's been bitten more than once from this one child at his pre-school. The daycare providers are not allowed to tell us who did it, to protect the innocent...lol however in each instant the little one fessed up as soon as I walked in the door...lol, wasn't feeling guilty or anything...

Shelley, mother, wife, sister, aunt, friend.
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Old 04-22-2005, 07:27 PM
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So sorry for your baby got hurt.

My daughter has been the one biten and then the biter in alternating cycles since she started daycare. I have found that it helps a lot to sit down with the provider in private and talk to them about my concerns and ask what they are doing. This made me feel better about how they handle biters and the ones who are bitten and how hard they try to prevent it. If they have several kids in the class and several biters they can't prevent all bites.
Try not to take out your anger at the daycare workers before you have a chance to talk to them, chances are this doesn't occur everyday and they were surprised that the child bit, most kids don't do it habitually and most daycares do everything they can to prevent it. If you don't think that they are doing a enough then take a day off of work and spend it in the classroom with your child observing them, it will give you a lot of perspective on how much they can prevent and how much just comes along with having to use daycare.
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Old 04-22-2005, 07:33 PM
 
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It's really stinky to be at work when your kid gets hurt. I know I hate it.
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Old 04-22-2005, 07:52 PM
 
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This may not be what you want to hear right now, but biting is a common enough ocurrence in day care that most centers have a policy about it. I've been on both ends of the biting and I know it can be disturbing, but it IS really normal.

Kids really do get bitten in day care, even with the best supervision and the best care. It happens. Most day care's have a policy of not telling who did the biting. I'm not sure why that is, but I assume it had to do with the parent not showing hostility toward the biter.

Third generation WOHM. I work by choice.
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Old 05-03-2005, 07:00 PM
 
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My DS was bitten on the cheek at daycare (on his 2nd birthday ), and still has a visible, although fading, bruise a month later. My daycare also has a policy of not telling who the biter is. I've often wondered if it's to keep the parents of the bitten from doing something rash, like confronting the parents of the biter. After all, it is something that a LOT of kids go through. In our case, the biter is no longer at the daycare, and I say "the biter" because from things the daycare staff have said, the child bit more than just my DS. I don't know if his not being there is related to the biting or not, I'm just glad it won't happen again, at least not with that child.

Anyway, I know how you feel. It would never have occurred to me to check with the doctor though, although luckily, Andrew's skin wasn't broken.

Alison
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Old 05-03-2005, 08:39 PM
 
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Jen, my tea sister!

I am so, so, so sorry to hear that your son was bitten. Regardless of the fact that many children bite, it is still VERY upsetting.



Both DH and I had to work for awhile when our oldest was 2. DH had accepted a position that paid less than his previous one, so that he could gain more experience in his field. So I worked full-time for 9 months, leaving our son at a reputable school, known for gentle discipline and child-led activities.

One day, I went to pick up my precious boy and he was very quiet and whimpering, and I was shocked to see human bites up and down his arm, at least 8 of them! I questioned his "teacher", and she said she knew nothing of it. She added that she had never heard him cry. (he had broken skin which bruised as well) I looked her right in the eyes and said "I don't believe you." I went to the director of the school, who said that an accident report would be filled out and should have already been filled out.

Basically, at that point, I said I would be in touch, I needed to go talk to my husband...

There is more to the story, but to keep it short, I will tell you, my husband's employers allowed him to take a leave of absence. I quit my job. We took a month and visited family, while we re-grouped to work towards a better solution for our child and our little family.

DH went back to his job and I started a new one, yes, you guessed it, in child care. It was part-time, but we managed. And I took care of 4 year olds, but my child stayed with me all the while, when he was 2, 3 AND 4. He adapted well, and was like my assistant. I spent my entire 2nd pregnancy being loved on by the sweetest preschoolers ever. With the blessing of their parents, I helped to educate them about pregnancy and babies, in a natural way, when they asked questions. They were wonderful children, I often think of them and wonder about how they are now.

When my 2nd son was just 6 weeks old, my DH got his break, and we moved to a different state. From then on I could simply concentrate on my family.

As many of you know, my oldest is 20. I have never regretted the choice to quit a good-paying job to make sure he was cared for.

Hugs to you, Jen. I hope you can find a solution that works for you and your family.



~Wanda
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Old 05-04-2005, 02:13 AM
 
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My ds was the biter. He had two main victims. We used a family home day care and she was very open wrt who was biting and who was receiving. She has three children, all teens now, who were all biters so she had btdt. We (sitter, parents and myself) worked together to help make sure it stopped. We focused on what the triggers were, the role of the bitten kids, and everyone basically worked together to put an end to it. It was a very positive experience.

We identified ds's issues. He had/has big personal space issues and during his first year with her no one really recognized this. When we figured it out, and taught the kids about it, and him about it, the biting stopped. We taught him the words and body language to use when he was feeling overwhelmed and we taught the other kids to read his signals and listen to him.

The biting stopped and everyon was happy.

He does have a permanent reminded in the form of a scar on his face from one of his victims who fought back . He'll tell anyone who asks "Thats from when Claire said I shouldn't bite her!"
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