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#181 of 222 Old 01-10-2003, 01:09 PM
 
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ebaby, you bring up a compelling subject....

I've done a lot of research on this subject, because there seems to be a lot of debate among parents. We decided that it was best for our family that we vaccinate.

That being said, I don't completely understand your post either. Are you afraid of illness that your dd might contract? Are there communicable illnesses suspected as a result of vaccines?

Dinah
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#182 of 222 Old 01-10-2003, 04:04 PM
 
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I am just sad to see her vax her kids.
She is totally Ok with me not doing it, so that is not an issue at all. (we both have seen kids with reactions so it just shakes me up)
I think that my ds being around her newly vaxed ds is un-necessary exposure to toxins. (ie the only cases of polio in the USA were in close contacts of newly vaxed babies via dirty diapers) I also know that her babe is cranky from the event so her attention is focused on her babe (as it should be). I am not in fear of the "diseases" just her ds rxn to the shots.

It is also a little extra stress cause dh is looking for a job and we have just kept him in PT daycare so we don't lose our spot, and it seems he has been out more than in as of late, they had the flu, we traveled, holidays, they traveled, etc. She really wants him there at least three days/wk to keep him. I would love to be home with with him more, but that can't happen. and sometimes seems like dh wants ds at the sitters. Just a little overwhelmed with all the "stuff" in life of late.
Sorry for confusing ramblings.

K
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#183 of 222 Old 01-10-2003, 05:24 PM
 
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to you K (ebaby)

I can completely relate to how you are feeling right now....
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#184 of 222 Old 01-16-2003, 04:06 PM
 
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HEY where did everybody go??
It all worked out with our sitter. Anyway, is everybody working OT or what?
K
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#185 of 222 Old 01-16-2003, 04:10 PM
 
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We live! We live! I've been wondering the same thing, but Owen & I are on travel this week and I've been spotty.

I'm so glad you worked it out!



I'll post more when I have more time!
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#186 of 222 Old 01-16-2003, 05:30 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by ebaby

HEY where did everybody go??
It all worked out with our sitter. Anyway, is everybody working OT or what?
K
Glad to hear it all worked out! I have been crazed at work and since that is pretty much the only time I have to be on line I haven't been able to keep up.

Hope all you working Mamas are keeping the balance. It been tough for me this week! What makes it worse is that we actually have a babysitter Saturday night. We are planning dinner and a movie!! However I feel like I have barely seen my son this week so all I really want to do is stay home......kwim???

Pardon me while I puke.gif

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#187 of 222 Old 01-16-2003, 06:16 PM
 
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Originally posted by HollyBearsMom
What makes it worse is that we actually have a babysitter Saturday night. We are planning dinner and a movie!! However I feel like I have barely seen my son this week so all I really want to do is stay home......kwim???
I know that all too well! Hard to go do something fun with dh when you work all week. :
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#188 of 222 Old 01-17-2003, 02:09 AM
 
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Nice to see a group of working mom's.
I've always worked full time out of the home. My Dh lost his job a few weeks before our son was born - so the lucky devil got to stay home for 14 months...... while I had to work. But it worked out well, and when Dh went back to work - I switched to working a few hours in the mornings and then going back to work at night (did I say my boss ROCKS?)
DS is now 3, and Dh and I work days now - DS is in a full time day care center and he LOVES it - The guilt goes away when I see how thirlled he is to go there every day.

We're starting to TTC#3 we'll see how that goes, but I will still have to work - we need money you see.....



Chelly
TTC#3............CD9 BDBDBDBDBDBDBDBD
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#189 of 222 Old 01-17-2003, 07:26 PM
 
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It is tough to work and not be with your loved one(s). I wanted to be home full time so bad and ended up like you. DH lost his job and got to be home with DD full time for over a year. And then guess what I got laid off! So now I am home!
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#190 of 222 Old 01-17-2003, 08:14 PM
 
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Oh don't make me think bad thoughts...............................:sinister

I'm going to make sure I get a few months off at the very least - I've got almost a month saved up in vacation time already..............

Chelly
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#191 of 222 Old 01-18-2003, 05:03 AM
 
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WOW! I just wanted to say thank you...thank you for starting this and thanks for getting it so far. I can't tell you how much better I feel seeing this and seeing so many like-minded WOHM parents. I too have avoided this board for all the WOHM-bashing. I see it on other boards as well and it can get me quite down. I don't see why it can't be a more supportive situation--I am so sick of feeling awful for doing something I must do financially and meanwhile enjoy.

I am a teacher and have a great situation with breaks off and shorter hours, but find it very lonely at times....when do the WOHMs get a playgroup? It is very hard.

I will definitely be checking in more....thanks again!
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#192 of 222 Old 01-18-2003, 11:23 AM
 
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Quote:
when do the WOHMs get a playgroup? It is very hard.
I can relate to this. The vast majority of mommy groups here meet on weekday mornings. Luckily there's a LLL group that meets once a month on a Saturday morning.
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#193 of 222 Old 01-18-2003, 12:25 PM
 
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In my town aabout 95% of the moms are SAHM. The problem I found with the one WOHM play group in my area (actually about 3 towns over) is that it meets EVERY Saturday 10 am. After a long week of work I really want to just relax and re-connect with my son. You know, snuggle in bed, long slow breakfast, etc. I don't relish having an AM rush on Saturday, KWIM? Also, you have to partake every Saturday or you can't join. That is tough for us. It is probably just this group but they are also VERY career oriented and career focused and it shows. The play group is run like an office, incredibly structured ( today we are coloring between 10 and 10:15, story time at 10:30, etc) with all kind of rules and regulations.

I have posted at the community center, trying to start one that meets once a month one but so far only one mom has responded. I am hoping when the weather turn warmer we might get more.

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#194 of 222 Old 01-18-2003, 02:08 PM
 
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I don't know if those of you with older children have experienced this, but...it happens at school too. At our school (we are no longer there, but daughter attended and I taught) all the interesting workshops, craft activities, parent education meetings...took place at ten am weekday mornings. These women practically ran the school because they were there most of the time and running this little clique. There was no place for working or student parents to go to experience any of this, unless they could rearrange their work schedules, and how easy is that? The administrators and these committee leaders never met a good half of the parent body, whose only link to the school on a daily basis was with the aftercare worker, at six pm. There were evening parent meetings, of course, but a lot of what happened at the school was spearheaded by this group of people who (forgive me, I have been a SAHM too, but we know how this feels) didn't have anywhere else to be. Our public school experience was the same but on a much larger scale. I have often wondered how schools and communities can deal with this. Who wants to have more to do on the weekends? How else to be a part of the school or parenting community? or is this just wanting to have one's cake and eat it?
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#195 of 222 Old 01-21-2003, 09:57 AM
 
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I am struggling to put together a resume for a new job (in my organization) to supervise 20 people. I'm concerned the stress of dealing with people issues all day will leave me precious little patience for those at home that really deserve it. Right now I work on projects, but it requires week-long travel several times a year.

Anyone out there supervise? Any advise? Should I take this job if its offered? They want me to work full time, but I'm going to see what they say to four days per weeek.

It takes so much time to do a good resume! And I hate taking that time away from my family.

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#196 of 222 Old 01-21-2003, 02:21 PM
 
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I am a full time WOHM. It's total hogwash that working moms can't AP. Both of my children are/were exclusively breastfed, cloth diapered, co-sleeping, etc. etc...

It does take work (but I assume it does for SAHMs, too)--and a supportive partner. My dh works part time and cares for our children as much as I do. It's not all hunky-dorry, though. There are days when I would love nothing more than to resign and stay home doing craft projects with the kids all day. There are days when he is DESPERATE to have a career--and the $$ that comes along with it. I think things go best when we can both empathize with the other and not get too bogged down in our own woes about the situation. The truth is neither of us have all of exactly what we want--but who does??? All in all, we're able to provide our children with lots of parental presence, attention, and love. And I'm able to earn enough $$ to mostly support us and dh can provide the balance.

The AP goals guide everything else--to a reasonable degree. I have, at times, considered just quitting my job and going on welfare, filing bankruptcy, moving to the woods and living on roots and game, or whatever it may take to stay at home with my children. But, then I think--Is that really what's best for them??? I'm 95% sure it's really not. But that 5%...

My one yr old came to work with me until she was 6 mos. and both children travel with me when I must (dh come along or grandmas help). DH brings dd to my office to nurse at least once/day. Overall, we've been able to make it work out reasonably well--with lots of commitment to AP from both of us (and flexibility from my employer---key!).

I think guilt is always there. I also wonder if SAHMs feel that their childrens' childhoods race by too quickly as I'm feeling. I'm looking at my 3.5 yr old starting school in the not-too-distant future and that brings tears to my eyes. But I'll bet SAHMs feel the same way. They grow up whether moms work or not, right??

I'm so happy to see this thread--to see that I'm not the only one struggling with this and to hear the thoughts of others...

My applause to all of us who AP--working or not!
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#197 of 222 Old 01-21-2003, 02:32 PM
 
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Originally posted by mac's mom
The truth is neither of us have all of exactly what we want--but who does??? All in all, we're able to provide our children with lots of parental presence, attention, and love.
I couldn't have said it better myself!

Mac's Mom, you pretty much described my life, from the supportive DH (wanting a career) to the cooperative employer (which I agree is key) and the desire - sometimes - to move to the woods (!). And, above all else, that AP is possible while working.

I join you in your applause to everyone!

Dinah
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#198 of 222 Old 02-20-2003, 05:08 PM
 
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bump

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#199 of 222 Old 02-20-2003, 05:17 PM
 
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Thanks for bumping all these WOHM threads, Jane!
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#200 of 222 Old 02-20-2003, 05:52 PM
 
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sorry, got a little carried away bumping for a new member....

Come visit the NEW QuirkyBaby website -- earn QB Bucks rewards points for purchases, reviews, referrals, and more! Free US shipping on great brands of baby slings and carriers and FREE BabyLegs or babywearing mirror on orders of $100+. Take the QB Quiz for personalized advice!

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#201 of 222 Old 02-20-2003, 06:58 PM
 
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Nothing much to add, just chiming in to say hello and glad this thread is here!

I am WOHM (well, currently out-of-work, desperately seeking job mom) and DH is SAHD, starting a market garden this spring.
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#202 of 222 Old 02-21-2003, 12:36 AM
 
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Nice to see this one bump up again.

A friend of mine with seven children (grown) said to me:
"you can have everything you ever want, you just can not have it all at once"... as a workin Momma I think that is true for me.

Hope everyone is well.
K
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#203 of 222 Old 02-21-2003, 05:35 AM
 
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hven't read through theposts yet, will next time, but...
i would love to see a board for working away from home moms. I'm new at all of this as dd is just 3 months old, but it just tears me up being away from her so much. i've learned so much reading others'experiences in Life with a babe, breasfeeding, etc; a specifically wohm board would I'm sure be a great source of wisdom.

and I know there are also issues specific to sahms, too.
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#204 of 222 Old 02-21-2003, 09:46 AM
 
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Check this out!

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#205 of 222 Old 02-21-2003, 11:29 AM
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Cool beans! And congrats, Jane, on your SENIOR MEMBERSHIP STATUS! Woohoo!
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#206 of 222 Old 02-21-2003, 11:37 AM
 
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I have no idea what "bump" means. I'm not a veteran, so please fill me in.

What happened to this list? It's been soooo quiet!

Mac's mom
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#207 of 222 Old 02-21-2003, 12:37 PM
 
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That would be great! I've felt more at home with you guys in a few weeks than I have at other boards for over two years!
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#208 of 222 Old 02-21-2003, 12:42 PM
 
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Bump just means "here's a post to take this back to the top of the list where people will see it."

Marlena - I racked up the posts something fierce during and after the snowstorm.....nothing like being housebound for five days to push one over the edge of reason!

mac's mom and owen & mama- so, whatcha wanna talk about? you could post an intro or a question or a vent or whatever - that might get things going again!


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#209 of 222 Old 02-21-2003, 01:36 PM
 
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Hi! Sign me up for the Working Mom's Board!

I just posted a similar message a couple of weeks ago, asking WOH moms how they manage to work and parent. It didn't get this many responses, but I'm glad that there are a lot of other working moms out there !!! It was during one of those "I'-hate-my-job-and-want-to-be-with-my-baby" days that I posted. KWIM?! It's good to see so many WOH moms that are going through the same things and that are dealing with them. It is definitely such a hard balancing act.

As far as child care, we chose to go with an in-home nanny. we did not go through a service. While in school, I nannied and went through a service . Thinking back on how much they screened me, I wasn't satisfied. It was way too general for my peace of mind. I figured that I could do just as good of a job, if not better in screening applicants. This included running criminal background checks and interviewing all previous employers.

We decided to go with an in-home provider because I really wanted dd to have one-on-one time. Since I couldn't provide her with it by being SAH, I wanted her to be in her own environment and know that someone was always going to be there for her giving her complete attention. I'm totally happy with our decision to do this. Dd has really thrived with the in-home care so far. It also helps, I think, that dh works from home and that I can come home to nurse her during lunch. This year has been a real sacrifice for both of us, both in terms of finances (paying for a nanny) and work (ditching out of work whenever humanly possible and sneaking home to give dd some of mama's milk)! The sacrifice is soooooo worth it!


Anyway, we found a wonderful young woman to through word of mouth. She was totally AP, supporting of me bf, held dd all the time and took her for walks, cuddled with her, etc. I was actually jealous a few times, worrying that dd would be more attached to her than to me! She stayed with us for only 6 months, however, because she was pregnant. She recently had her ds and we still keep in touch. She was awesome.

Before leaving us, she recommended another woman. OUr new nanny is older, mid -50's, and is not as active as our younger nanny, but she is very AP as well. She is more of a grandmotherly figure. I had some reservations about this, but she was the best applicant from all of the others that we screened and interviewed. We pay her $8/ hour for a 37 hour work week., plus 1 week vacation and 5 paid sick days. She usually averages about a 30 hour work week, but gets paid a full salary. Anyway, it took her a couple of months to really adjust to our family and to get to know dd. She has been with us for 3 months now and is very attached to dd. They go on walks together, local playgroups, the library and play around. She doesn't roll around as much with dd as I do, but at least I know that dd is well cared for and nurtured. Also, my dh works from out of the house, so he is there most of the day. Lots of times, he is the one that puts dd down for her naps. I also come home for lunch to nurse dd. However, lately, since dd is 13 months old, I have been coming every other day, since my work has been suffering .

Wow, what a rambler I am today! Just thought I'd share my story with the rest of you working moms!

We need to be strong .and give as much support to each other as possible.....the path we have chosen is not an easy one!


Happy parenting!

Libby

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#210 of 222 Old 02-21-2003, 01:52 PM
 
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Libby, I remember your original thread and enjoyed sharing there. I also remember that you were having some issues in your nanny-world. Sounds like you have managed to work those out. I know that that is a major breaking point for me in this crazy balancing act. When I am okay with DS's caregiver situation, I am at peace (most of the time) at work. Otherwise, I am a mess. So, hopefully, you have indeed found resolution (if I am remembering correctly).

I do look forward to that forum. I want to talk about it all, Jane! I have gotten a lot from the diapering thread, the breastfeeding/pumping thread (that I started), the SAHD thread, the balancing thread (which I guess they all are really about!), the child care thread...you name it. I think it will be nice to have them all in one place. The issues might then be easier to find & sort through.

What a roller-coaster this life is.....!
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