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Old 02-21-2003, 05:26 PM
 
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This is very nice! I am a single wohm. Have a dd, age17, dd age 8 and dd age 2. I love being a mom. Sometimes I like my job, but we ALWAYS need the money.

We almost always have supper together. Then the youngers and I bathe together. I mean we all have to be clean and I need to spend time with them, so my solution is to all get in at once. We get to play and wash and get nekkid. Then we all pile in *my* bed and read together. We have read the hobbit, all the LOTR series, the Harry Potter books and are working our way through the Madeliene L'Engle books!! The "baby"(can she really be almost 3??) nurses and falls asleep sometimes, sometimes not. This time is so precious to me. Good thing I have a big bed!!!

My house is messier than I would like. I had to chuckle about owensmom *cleaning* motel rooms. My babies have crawled around in stuff that you would not believe, not the older one, I was a sahm then. But do I clean or play? I get the basics done, (USUALLY) but if you saw my kitchen floor right now, you would not stay for dinner!!!

I have used the *corporate* day care with the youngers. With mostly good feelings. I work at a hospital and since it is employee day care, folks come and go at all hours. I frequently get calls from other parents, " I just saw Claire, when I dropped Lily off and she gave me a big hug and kiss!!" Or that she was crying, looked lonesome, playing in the snow, or whatever. So it feels like we all kind of look out for each other's babies. Sorry this got long.... love to all!!!
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Old 02-21-2003, 05:49 PM
 
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Carmen Veranda

I'm with you on the do I play or clean question!! It is a struggle to keep up with the basics of laundry, dishes. Dusting? Ha! Actually organizing anything? Ha!

But I do love to play!!!

I find that I'm torn between wanting the kids in bed at a decent hour and wanting to play with them more. When I do let them stay up later, it's sometimes okay, but often detriorates into tantrums, etc.--then it's no fun and has defeated the purpose.

How do other moms strike a balance between bedtime and more play after work??

Thanks!
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Old 02-21-2003, 05:57 PM
 
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The bedtime/playtime dilemma: Another great question I've been wondering myself!

When DS was really young and not sleeping very well, someone suggested that I make his bedtime earlier. I moved it from 9:00-ish to 7:30-ish. It worked like a charm.

At that time, I was working until about 2:30, so I spent more time with him after work. Now, I work until 4:30, so he and I don't get home until 5:00. By the time we have dinner, bathe, and all that jazz, it's time for bed. I've found that we've just slipped on many nights to about 8 - 8:30 again. I haven't noticed a change in his waking habits, yet. I usually watch him. If he seems ready to night-night, we go ahead with it. But, if he seems like he wants to socialize more with me, I go with that. I'm not good enough yet at reading all the cues 100% of the time, though, and I sometimes find myself in a tough situation with him...too tired to sleep sort of thing, but I'm learning!
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Old 02-21-2003, 06:44 PM
 
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Owen&mama,

How nice of you to remember that we were having some nanny issues. We cleared them up. After a lot of thought, dh and I were ready to ask her to leave and to look for another woman. But, after talking things over with my family as well as the woman on MDC and BBC, I decided to talk to her first and kind of get a feel for where she was coming from. When I mentioned that she should not have left dd with a security guard when she went to the bathroom in the library b.c (1) someone could have come up to the sec. guard and said they were family and taken dd and (2) the guard could have had an emergency and left dd alone, our caregiver was horrified. I thought she might cry. She said that she thought that security guards were like police officers (she's Russian and is not as familiar with how some of this works). She also told me that it is always the same security guard when she goes during the day and that it is a woman that knows both her and dd. I didn't know that fact. I usually take dd on the weekends or when I get home from work and it is always men. I double checked her story (like any anal mother would!!) and it was true.

To make a long story short, dh and I discussed a different way to handle things with our nanny. We realized that she did much better when we gave her specific things to do with dd....i.e, put dd down for a nap at X time, then give her lunch, then take her to a playgroup. She also has made a point of double checking with dh and me when she is uncertain about things.....even when it is something simple, like soy milk vs cow's milk. Anyway, the point is that we have cleared up the communication lines and she was totally receptive to us, which was my main reason for deciding to stay with her. She is totally a loving woman and I didn't want to chuck all the good stuff if we could work out the bad stuff. So far it seems that things are going ok....
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Old 02-21-2003, 07:59 PM
 
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we had one and she was great. of course, I am Russian and we did not have a communication issues. I alway felt that in generous Russian nanies are very resposibale, devoted to spending a lots of time outside with their charges and do not like TV. Fooc luck with your
i am so happy it is Friday. my DH worked 14 hr dyas for the past 7 dyas. And i worked 3.5 days which is a lots of hour for me plus some staff on the side and it is one of these weeks when kids have field trips and math night and the regular swim and singning lessons and the heater went out etc etc etc (did I methioned bounsing cheks). Aghhh, all I have planned for the week end is a relaxing dinner with firends and a playdate. i can hardly wait!
Congradualtion to all you to surviving another week
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Old 02-22-2003, 02:58 PM
 
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Thought I would say hello and introduce myself.

Hi, my name is Aimee.

I am also a WOHM.

The very cool thing is that dh and I work opposite schedules - me first and him third. This has it's good side - now childcare costs, bad side - rarely see each other than to talk about Ryne's day. He is actually looking into a 2nd shift job that would at least allow us to sleep at the same time, LOL.

My family of 3 (plus pup) Indigo (Aimee), Rob (dp), Ryne (ds) & Phebe (dog), plus my BIL's family of 3.

 
"The best way to predict the future is to invent it." - Alan Kay

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Old 02-22-2003, 04:18 PM
 
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Yeah, working opposite shifts is rough!

That's one of the reasons I'll be so glad to quit work. Dh is on third shift, so he's gone from 9pm-7:30am. Then he sleeps all day.

I work various hours, two days a week 8:30-5, one evening 4-8 and one afternoon 12:30-5. Thankfully on the days dh isn't watching Elana, my mom is so we never have to deal with daycare! It would be worse if I was full time. Oh, and I work one weekend a month too, so those weekends are really bad!
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Old 02-23-2003, 02:52 AM
 
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It would be great to have a forum for WOHMs. Getting some WOHM threads going has been a good way to get discussions of more manageable length, but it's been a challenge checking in on all the new threads I want to read. I'd love to have them in one place.

Mac's Mom: Bedtime/playtime is a hard one. DD goes to bed about an hour and a half after I get home in the evening--way too soon as far as I'm concerned. But if we keep her up later, she's unhappy and doesn't sleep well, so that settles that. Seeing her for "lunch hour" helps, as does snuggling all night.
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Old 02-23-2003, 10:37 PM
 
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I'm glad they're considering a WOHM board, not because I want to be exclusive or anything, but just because my time on line is so limited that I need to find what I need quickly! Though I guess I could search!!!:

Now that I think about it, DUH. Oh, well. Now we know why it needs to be easy for dummies like me.
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Old 02-25-2003, 12:02 AM
 
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Haven't gotten a chance to read through all the postings on this, but I would definitely be interested in joining such a thread...especially given the week I am in the middle of right now...
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Old 03-07-2003, 02:30 AM
 
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Did a search and all you WOHMs must be working OT like me.
I'm doing this search then going to bed before DS #2 wakes me up for 'mee-mee'.

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Old 03-07-2003, 03:24 AM
 
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No, no OT, just some extra hours in AM. I think my older son is coming down with the flu....I so hope it gets better by Monday
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