WOHM - The first day of daycare - Mothering Forums
Working and Student Parents > WOHM - The first day of daycare
Nik's Mommy's Avatar Nik's Mommy 03:03 PM 01-22-2003
Well I dropped my munchkin off at the daycare for the first time today. (I've been working FT since Aug, but dh was at home till Dec, and we had MIL and my mom come and watch him in the meantime.) It was just like my first day back at work all over again. I gave him a kiss goodbye and promptly started bawling! I know it is a great daycare.... I have nothing but positive feelings about the care he will receive there........ but he should be getting that great care from ME!! Luckily, I won't have to drop him off anymore (my dh will be doing that, because he leaves for work later), but I just hate it! I'm counting down the hours till I can go and pick him up. (6 more hours!)

Oh, well..... what can you do?

Thanks for letting me complain....

2much2luv's Avatar 2much2luv 03:21 PM 01-22-2003
I'm so sorry you had to do that. I can't imagine leaving my babies for more than a couple of minutes. you gotta do what you gotta do i guess.
Foobar's Avatar Foobar 03:50 PM 01-22-2003
I was upset the first week and then I saw how happy dd was there. I decided that if she was happy, it was ok.

I keep watching her mood and if I ever thought she was unhappy, I would remove her from it.
owen&mama's Avatar owen&mama 04:02 PM 01-22-2003
I dropped my DS off for the second time at his new caregiver today. I'm in the same boat. I feel wonderful about the care he'll be getting, as well as all the fun. His new caregiver is devoted to the children and the days are all about them. If I were at home, I know that at least some of my days would be about me, the house, dinner, or other interests, not about DS. So, for that, I am entirely comfortable. But leaving him is always hard, on the first day, the fifth day, and even months later, at least for me.

So to you. And to all of us who have to say "See you later!" in the mornings.
mirlee's Avatar mirlee 04:51 PM 01-22-2003
I so know how this goes. It isn't easy.

I remember crying in my office the entire first week he was in daycare. I made sure to appear strong when we dropped him off, but I just about broke down as soon as I got private time. Once I realized that he was fine. He had clean diapers on, didn't have food crusted all over his face, and seemed to be doing well, I relaxed a little.

Then, one year later, we had to go to a new daycare. The process started all over again. Dropping him off was a little easier because after the first day or so, he wanted to be there. It also helped that some of his friends from the old place were there. The caregiver was a very cuddly mom and would do anything to make sure the kids were comfortable even if that meant carrying them for an hour. For about 2 or 3 months after starting this daycare, Sam insisted on nursing before we even left the parking lot. This always made me teary.

These days, we are very at ease with everything. I think because we have such a nice daycare. He wants to go. Sometimes he is having so much fun, he doesn't want to leave. The people really care about the kids.

It is always very difficult to leave your little one somewhere like this. It does get easier eventually.
nuggetsmom's Avatar nuggetsmom 05:01 PM 01-22-2003

Hope you feel better. Maybe leave early today if you can swing it.
HollyBearsMom's Avatar HollyBearsMom 05:08 PM 01-22-2003
Even without daycare it is very hard! We have a women who comes to our home everyday to watch our son. I went back to work when he was 3 1/2 months. Even though we spent 1 1/2 weeks transitioning, ( leaving for 15 minutes the first day, building up to 4-6 hours the last) leaving him to go to work that first day was miserable! When we transtioned I knew I could turn around at any minute and just go home with no explanations but on that first day at work I knew that I was there for the day! Actually, in hindsite the first day wasn't as bad since I was seeing all my friends, everyone asked about my son, all the other WOHM's were commiserating with me. The second day it was like I never left to everyone. I was alone in my office and I just kept staring at his picture and crying....

However I am now so thrilled to have this women. My son loves her and is obviuosly healthy and happy. We have the paycheck and the benefits so he is clothed and has food. So just know that it will get better, never perfect, but better......
Marlena's Avatar Marlena 07:47 PM 01-22-2003
As others have said, it's really tough, but as long as the care he's getting is good, it does get better (give it a bit of time). Dd loves the person who takes care of her during the day, and while she still occasionally gets upset when I leave in the morning, she becomes happy later on, and has always been cheerful when I call during the day. Today was rough, as it was the first time that I've had to leave before she got up (dh stayed home with her till our childcare person arrived), and she apparently went looking all over the house for me when she got up. She was crying when I called this morning, while dh was still there. Not being able to be there for your children when they need you sucks.
mamaah's Avatar mamaah 10:58 PM 01-23-2003
DEar Nik's mom,
I know very well how you feel. But if you really feel that the daycare you chose is reliable, loving, etc, then your baby should enjoy it. I am myself a daycare provider. I have daugter who is your son's age, by the way , and I also care for a little boy, two month's younger than her. Sometimes he cries a little when his parents are leaving, but after a minute, he is totally excited and happy to play with us. And He is so much better behaved and happier in the daycare than at home! He might be sick with cold or teething and cranky, and driving his parents crazy, according to their words, but at my house he gets distracted easily, and is much happier. I hope this will comfor you a little
LiamnEmma's Avatar LiamnEmma 11:48 PM 01-23-2003
I know what you mean, especially the part about getting the care from you. We have a great nanny, the kids love her madly, and she is really loving with and focused on them, but I still think that they should be with me, and I'm even jealous of her and have to watch myself and my responses to things they do together. My thoughts go out to you, it's hard hard hard.
singermom's Avatar singermom 01:02 AM 01-27-2003
Yup, been there, done that, last month...I had a harder time dropping off dd#2 at the day care center than I did with dd#1 (2nd one was only 3 mos. when she started, whereas older one was 7 mos.). I was trying to be strong and put a good face on for both kids (of course, dh had a morning meeting so was no help that day...). I was completely calm and upbeat, until I got to the door of the day care center, then I burst into tears.

Yes, it gets "easier" in that you get used to the mechanics of dropping your kids off--and yes, if you trust your care giver and can form bonds with other parents there, it will be "easier," too, but leaving them behind is probably the hardest thing I have to do every day. And yes, I do like my work--I just wish it could all be different.

I'm close enough that I go over and nurse my girl at lunch time--one less bottle she has to have, and I get concentrated play time with her without my older one needing attention. The folks at the center just see me as part of the family--they've actually started saving desserts for me now!

Good luck with settling in, and remember that for every time you leave them, there is that wonderful moment when you walk in the room and they light up and run over to you. Makes every day worthwhile...