When you have sick kids - how sick is sick enough for you to take a sick day? - Mothering Forums

 
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#1 of 29 Old 03-02-2006, 07:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am curious?

Do you,

A) always call in sick if DC are sick - regardless of severity
B) call in sick if DC is "sick enough" -- and what is that trigger for you?
C) rarely take a sick day for DC -- only when DC is very very sick

This thread of course assumes you've some alternative childcare - or that your childcare will take your DC when they are mildly or moderately sick.

Really interested to see what my fellow WOHM do?

Thanks in advance.

TripMom . . . . . loving mom : to DS (12) and BBG (10)
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#2 of 29 Old 03-02-2006, 07:20 PM
 
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For us, we use our judgement, I don't think we have a 'trigger' per se - we dont' always take off of work, but if we feel our kids need to be home, one of us stays home, we would never ever send a very ill child to someone else's care though. So I guess my answer would have to be "B".

If one of them has a cold, we don't call in sick/keep them home. The exception would be, I think, if say they were so congested and unable to sleep - fatigue on top of the cold. We have stayed home for that reason.

When ds had a stomach virus, we kept him home -he needed his mom and/or dad - his child care provider wouldn't have taken him anyway because of the vomiting.

I, fortunately haven't had to deal with this very often as my kids have both been healthy for the most part.
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#3 of 29 Old 03-02-2006, 07:44 PM
 
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I agree with the PP on this one. If DS is hacking, coughing and listless, we'll keep him home. If he's running a fever and/or throwing up, we keep him home. I'm lucky to be able to alternate sick days with my hubby, because since DS started daycare, we've all been sick pretty much non-stop and I've already taken five sick days off in three months!
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#4 of 29 Old 03-02-2006, 07:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dido1
I agree with the PP on this one. If DS is hacking, coughing and listless, we'll keep him home. If he's running a fever and/or throwing up, we keep him home. I'm lucky to be able to alternate sick days with my hubby, because since DS started daycare, we've all been sick pretty much non-stop and I've already taken five sick days off in three months!
Me too Dido! I had to take an entire week when DS #1 got hand/foot/mouth disease. I was suprised to see PP say her kids are never sick? When DS #1 started preschool in the fall - it was a continual stream of sickness in my house from Halloween until just recently. DS getting sick - then getting the babies sick in sequential order! Ahhhh! That's why I posted this - because had I taken every day off during that period - I literally would have been at work maybe 1 week a month for several months?

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#5 of 29 Old 03-03-2006, 11:11 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TripMom
Me too Dido! I had to take an entire week when DS #1 got hand/foot/mouth disease. I was suprised to see PP say her kids are never sick? When DS #1 started preschool in the fall - it was a continual stream of sickness in my house from Halloween until just recently. DS getting sick - then getting the babies sick in sequential order! Ahhhh! That's why I posted this - because had I taken every day off during that period - I literally would have been at work maybe 1 week a month for several months?
I guess I should clarify a bit - when ds (23 months) was a baby, he was sick quite often after starting daycare (double ear infections, hand foot and mouth etc. etc. etc. - it really was neverending, and I missed a lot of work) - we moved him to a home based daycare - it is just the dcp's kids and my own. Since the move, he has only had 1 illness where he was really sick (I am not including the countless colds - it seems he's had a snotty nose most of the winter)- that was the stomach virus in December, and it hung around for a few weeks. DD has had an ear infection and a cold and that's it. I think a big reason my kids are mostly healthy is in addition to not being around a bunch of other kids, they only go to daycare 2 half days a week.
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#6 of 29 Old 03-03-2006, 12:26 PM
 
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I do have a rather flexible job with plenty of paid time off but I also have a FABULOUS dcp who is super about taking Mason even if he's a bit under the weather. I do draw the line when:

1) Puking
2) Loose stools/stomach bug/frequent diaper changes
3) Fever - but Mason rarely has a fever

I usually just see how he's acting. If he's still playing, I send him to daycare. If he's just listless and not his usual self, I know I should stay home with him.

I think I've had to stay home with him 2 or 3 times since he started daycare at 14 months... He's now 2 1/2.

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#7 of 29 Old 03-03-2006, 01:44 PM
 
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I would have a hard time leaving my kid home sick after this:
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#8 of 29 Old 03-03-2006, 02:25 PM
 
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If DD is sick enough to stay home from school, either I or DH stays home with her. My mom or MIL would keep her, but I remember my mom sending me to the sitter or my grandma's when I was sick, and all I wanted was to be in my own bed with my mommy taking care of me. I certainly don't blame my mom--she was raising three kids alone and didn't get much sick time, so she did the best she could--but since I have the option to take off sick, I do it. But DH and I both get a reasonable amount of sick leave and have bosses that won't be horrible to us about it, so I don't blame moms who would rather not or can't stay home.

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#9 of 29 Old 03-03-2006, 02:32 PM
 
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I think my answer would be B, and the trigger for me is how dd is acting. She has had fevers and colds where she was still her usual happy self, and then I have not stayed home with her, but I have taken her to her grandma's when she can't go to daycare (like if she has a bit of fever). I stay home with her when I can tell that she needs me--when she's fussy and clingy and listless.

I have pretty generous sick leave, and I have used all but 1 of my days this year because of all the junk floating around at daycare. We actually took dd out of daycare for a couple of weeks because we thought she needed some time to recover--she got hit with a couple of colds and ear infections in a row, and some of the kids came down with RSV. I honestly don't know what we would do if MIL wasn't always available to help!
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#10 of 29 Old 03-03-2006, 03:04 PM
 
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It depends on what dh and I each have going on. He is self-employed and I have a lot of flexibility to work from home or take a last min. day off but there have been times when something important is going on for us both and we end up taking them to dcp anyway.

Her "rule" is that puking and diarreah can't come but antyhing else can. Sick kids get to hunker down in her bedroom watching movies and resting. Needless to say, ds is a big fan of going to her house when he's sick

Ds is home today with a fever. If we couldn't have stayed home we'd have taken him but dh didn't have anything pressing to do today.
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#11 of 29 Old 03-03-2006, 05:36 PM
 
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As far as I'm concerned, this question is THE single most stressful part for me of being a WOHM.

Thankfully, since the frist year in dc, my DD is now healthy as a horse. I can't even remember the last time I had to worry about this - maybe summer 2004? She went through this period where she always got sick on Friday nights. I had to leave work like an hour early.

DH is more flexible to take days off (we both work FT outside the home) than me, but especially when DD was younger, there were days when I really felt that she needed me, not him.

The questions that come are:
* how sick is DD?
* Is it contagious?
* Will dc send her home anyways?
* Will she be better or worse in the X hours before I have to go to work?
* Who needs more to be at work THAT day - me or DH? This is not a pleasant discussion, and can become a game of "who's job is more important?".
* Is there any way that we can split the day? (Not usually possible, as we work at opposite ends of the city)

2 years ago, DD was sick A LOT in a short period of time, and it was a stomach bug that kept getting passed around our family. It was a concern for my employer. Since then, I have jealously hoarded my own sick days. I MAY have taken 2 of the 6 paid days I'm entitled to last year.

Oh, I will never give my DD meds to "mask" a condition that would otherwise get her shipped home from dc. I know many parents who have no problems with giving Tempra and the like so that they can get on with their day.
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#12 of 29 Old 03-06-2006, 05:49 AM
 
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It would be "B" for me. My mom watches DD while DH and I go to work. Mom is a great grandmother. If DD is only mildly sick then I have no hangups about leaving her with my mother. If DD is sick to the point of throwing up, diarrahea, high fever, etc. then I would stay home. So far..*knock on wood*..DD has only had a mild cold. I do have generous leave program where I work. My immediate supervisor doesn't mind if his staff take a day or two here and there to take care of a sick child.

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#13 of 29 Old 03-06-2006, 04:18 PM
 
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If she has a fever the day of (or the night before) I keep her home. I also will keep her home if she seems like she is really not feeling well. I am fortunate though, in that with my new job I can work at home if I need to. So I work while she naps and make up the difference in the evening when she has gone to bed. I would also do this with my last job - but then would get the 'guilt' trip for days afterward.: The place I am at now doesn't care as long as the job gets done.

In the instances where she needed to stay home multiple days my husband and I split the work day.

It is hard to know when it is right to keep them home. I figure if she is feeling so lousy that she does not want to play at home, then I don't think sending her to daycare is a good idea.
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#14 of 29 Old 03-07-2006, 04:21 PM
 
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I have an in home day care.

Sick kids can cause a huge problem. I am very flexible with the sick kids. I refuse to take kids with vomiting or diarrhea. Also, I don't want them when they are just miserable. It's not that I can't isolate them, I can. It's just that I cannot hold the kids while they are sick. When they feel crummy, they are lying in the living room on a mat, watching TV alone. How sad is that?

But, what if, I let a sick child come to my house, and he has something more serious? I know this is the chance we take. But, it's a tough decision. Fortunatley my kids are all pretty healthy. My own child is 13, and she tends to catch more junk than these kids do.

As a provider, it is VERY hard to tell a parent he must use a sick day, unless the child is clearly very sick. But if I made them stay home for colds and coughs, they would miss half the winter. (Heaven knows I am SO sick of wiping noses though)

It's good to see the parents point of veiw on these issues.
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#15 of 29 Old 03-07-2006, 04:52 PM
 
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When ds#1 started Kinder, they were both so violently ill it was just a mess. It was nice to hear other parents at the school who complained of the same thing. Usually I would take them with me to give an estimate and let them play in the van( Westfalia camper) in the driveway of a house if I felt okay about it and I was going to be less than 5 min. ( we live in a very small community). Now the town is getting bigger we trade off. Dh might stay home on a Mon if the oldest is sick, like when he got Pink eye from ski lessons. But mostly I just stay home with them and rearange my schedule, or tell the employee on the job or client that I will not be able to come and check up on the work because my kids are sick. The last thing my clients want is for a sick person or a person with their sick kids getting it all over their home.

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#16 of 29 Old 03-09-2006, 12:55 PM
 
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Right now DD goes to daycare 3 days a week and stays with MIL the other two days. Usually if DD just has a cold or doesn't feel very well she will just stay with my MIL another day. But if she's throwing up/diarreha then I don't want her to get my In-laws sick so I am usually the one to stay home. DH's employeers (it's a 6 person office) are pretty sexist and think it's the "wife's" job to stay home. My DH is really the only one that has kids there. So we just deal with it the best way we can. Usually I don't get any flack for taking off.
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#17 of 29 Old 03-09-2006, 09:01 PM
 
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probably "A" - I'm pretty quick to stay home with ds2 (ds1 loves school and is hardly ever sick), but I have a job that allows me to remote in, if needed, so I can still get stuff done. I'll send him to dc with a little cough or runny nose, unless we've both not slept well the night before.
I agree with a pp that this is one of the HARDEST parts about woh - I thank my lucky stars that my job is so flexible - I've had jobs before where I would rather quit and find another than take a sick day - it was such a hassle to ask for time off .
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#18 of 29 Old 03-09-2006, 09:50 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TripMom
I am curious?

Do you,

A) always call in sick if DC are sick - regardless of severity

C) rarely take a sick day for DC -- only when DC is very very sick

This thread of course assumes you've some alternative childcare - or that your childcare will take your DC when they are mildly or moderately sick.

Really interested to see what my fellow WOHM do?

Thanks in advance.
B) call in sick if DC is "sick enough" -- and what is that trigger for you? It depends. You aren't supposed to send them in if they have a high fever, dirreah, vomiting or are too sick to enjoy activites. Those are the rules I usually follow.

Mostly attitude and symptoms. If she wants to sleep and be held a lot I know she is too sick.
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#19 of 29 Old 03-29-2006, 06:48 PM
 
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I'd say B. Usually, if DD is listless, has a fever, vomiting, etc. during the night (affecting our sleep) or the day of, I stay home with her. She's still nursing, so if she's sick, she wants mama. I hope someday that DH will stay home with a sick kiddo here and there (ie, trade off).

However, I did stay home with her on Friday when she had a cold. Our DCP asked that I keep her home. Honestly, she was ok...we had a fun day just the two of us. I even called the doc (and I rarely do) just to satisfy DCP. It turns out that most every other child at DCP or playgroup is sick, too. DH and I feel like DCP is blaming us for passing the illness on...but DD isn't sick (morning cough/runny nose...that's it), and is way to paranoid of germs...but our issues with DCP are a whole other thread.
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#20 of 29 Old 03-29-2006, 07:02 PM
 
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I'm really lucky in that DP has a flexible work schedule and he can work from home pretty much whenever he wants, so I don't usually have to take a day off if DD is sick.
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#21 of 29 Old 03-29-2006, 09:50 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rgarlough
I do have a rather flexible job with plenty of paid time off but I also have a FABULOUS dcp who is super about taking Mason even if he's a bit under the weather. I do draw the line when:

1) Puking
2) Loose stools/stomach bug/frequent diaper changes
3) Fever - but Mason rarely has a fever

I usually just see how he's acting. If he's still playing, I send him to daycare. If he's just listless and not his usual self, I know I should stay home with him.

I think I've had to stay home with him 2 or 3 times since he started daycare at 14 months... He's now 2 1/2.

This pretty much sums it up for us.
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#22 of 29 Old 03-30-2006, 03:01 AM
 
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i would say a combination of A and B. by sickness i also include sick in heart. the dc has strict rules that i follow. and ex and i take our turns. either half days or alternate days.

but somedays my dd just wants to have a mommy and me day really, really bad. she is not sick AT ALL but just wants to be home and cuddle. then depending on how bad her need is i take off half a day or a full. sometimes i sit and talk to her and seh understands and goes to dc. when she becomes more persistent asking me continuously for a few days then i take the full day off - usually midweek instead of making it a v. long weekend and we do what she wants to do.

i do this for her because she hates to be separated from her parents. she wants to be with mommy or daddy all the time. poor thing she understands why that cant be. but an 8 to 10 hour day at a ps/dc 5 days a week is way too long for her in my opinion.

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#23 of 29 Old 03-30-2006, 03:14 AM
 
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i'm lucky enough to have a sahd so my trigger is if he is too sick himself to keep up with the kids and my mom (who we lived with until 3 months ago and only live 2 blocks from now) can't take them either. or if there is a dr appt involved- partly b/c dh doesn't drive and partly b/c i always go to their dr appts.
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#24 of 29 Old 11-03-2006, 10:43 PM
 
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For us it depends on if daycare will allow him to stay. If not then it depends on if my hubby is off. If not I stay home without questions.
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#25 of 29 Old 11-04-2006, 02:38 AM
 
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This is a very stressful situation for me as well. I am a dance teacher and I work as an independent contractor. Not only do I not get paid if I don't work (and I am the breadwinner right now, dh is in school full time) but I also have to find a sub to cover my classes which is never easy, as everyone on my sub list is already booked to capacity to make ends meet. If dd is running a fever, vomiting, diarrhea, or listless, she stays home. If she is running around playing she is not that sick, but if she is whining with this certain tone and not wanting to do her usual activities, I know she is pretty sick. I'm not a big fan of medications, but if she just has a cold with no other symptoms, I do give her a shot of pseudophed before school, as it dries her up, and lessens the chance of her wiping snot on some other poor child or teacher. Or Robitussin so she is not hacking all over the other kids, as she is not the best at covering her mouth.
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#26 of 29 Old 11-04-2006, 01:06 PM
 
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I also have plenty of paid leave that I can use and also a fairly flexible schedule. Usually my dd doesn't get sick very often, but when she does I do stay home w/her. Sick enough would be a fever, listless, diarrhea, etc. when she started day care she had a few missed days, but now the is 6 and does pretty well in school. She missed only a day and a half last year.
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#27 of 29 Old 11-05-2006, 01:00 AM
 
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Diarrhea, vomiting, fever or "off" behavior are my triggers. If this is the case for either child I'll keep them home.

When DD1 was 6 months she started a new dcp and I started a new job. She had a bunch of colds - congestion and ear infections - but nothing serious, and she was mostly herself except for a few times that I kept her home. The daycare kept calling me to get her though, because the ear infection would cause some discharge in her eye and they'd claim she had pinkeye and make me get her checked out by a doc : I get 5 sick days but I was called to get her at least 15 times in the first 4 months of my job : I was sure I'd be fired. Not once did she have pinkeye btw.

Some serious stuff went around that school. Rotavirus, hand, foot and mouth, coxsackie... you name it, they had it. DD never got any of that stuff and she has never vomited. Now she is rarely sick, and whatever she gets seem to be about 1/5th the strength that I get!
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#28 of 29 Old 11-05-2006, 03:45 AM
 
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Our youngest is frequently ill because of her medical issues, so this has been a huge struggle for us the past year. Because she can be mildly ill one minute and in need of an ER visit the next, I don't like to be at work when she is ill. Dh is able to stay with her during the day occasionally, but I just want to be with her when she's sick, kwim? Luckily, my job is really flexible about this -- it's the major reason I stay there. Last year I started work in late November, and at the beginning of Dec. dd had to spend 4 days in the hospital. She was sick for several months, missing TONS of preschool. It was soooo stressful! I am already stressing out about this winter, esp. since she just started kindergarten.

It's the main reason we really wish I could be a SAHM.
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#29 of 29 Old 11-05-2006, 10:55 AM
 
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I go more by DS' mood than anything else. I've seen him have a mild fever but still seem happy and playful, and the fever went away after a day or so without really any other symptoms. I've also seen him throw up, just one time, and otherwise seem fine. So unless it's a high fever, or multiple pukes, or he just seems miserable, I pretty much send him on in. I have to save my sick time for major sickness--like last November I missed 9 days straight when he came down with RSV. That wiped out all my sick leave and then some.

I don't worry about the contagion thing that much--my understanding is they're contagious even before they are obviously sick, and in a daycare environment I honestly kind of believe it's hopeless. I just don't think when he's really sick that it's a good environment for HIM -- if he's not in a mood to play and participate because he just wants to be held, it's really not a good thing for him to be there.

Sometimes my MIL is able to take care of him when he's sick, which is a big help.
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