I'm just going to throw in my 2 cents here. Nearly five years ago a wonderful group of women began hanging out because we all met at our bfing support group and had babies the same age. It was great. We are all still friends though we all get busy and I don't see some of them as often anymore. We had about two regular things we did on a weekly basis in the mornings. As gals began to have second children and older children beginning preschool, those events began to fizzle out. I kept them going because I kept inviting new moms from my bfing support group to join me on those days. I knew they were lonely and needed friends and I so wanted them to enjoy parenting as much as I did, and it helps to have a good supportive network to rely on. Now, I get together with a new group of ladies (many of which are now here on MDC because of me) while still keeping in contact with my old friends. I am notorious for inviting new moms to join us on Tueday mornings at the indoor playground an then for lunch, or at our weekly park dates in the summer. My current friends are always more than friendly to the new people I bring in, however, I think it can be overwhelming for the new moms to feel comfortable since we all know one another so well. Most don't return, but a few brave souls have gotten to know us and are now great friends.
That being said, while I am usually very friendly at the playground and will talk to anyone, there are times that I am simply too exhausted to make what I will call small talk with someone I don't know. There are days that I just need to talk to someone who knows me and who I can feel comfortable with. Asking questions to get to know someone is just too stressful and requires more mental energy than I have. Staying home with two active boys (one of whom has weeks where he feels to be velcroed to me and wears me out emotionally) is both physically and emotionally draining.
We all feel safest in our comfort zone, and our friends are our comfort zone. Those days that I just don't have the energy to engage a new person are just that. If you saw me on a different day, I might seem like an entirely different person to an outsider. I have friend who are hippies (not hard to find in my area) and who are mainstream and have plenty of money (also not hard to find in my area.)
If I have made plans to meet someone(s), it could be considered rude to them to spend my time talking to someone I just met. I know I might get upset if I were invited someplace by a friend who then spent the time making a new friend rather then talking to me.
There are a lot of things to consider when we don't know what is in the mind of others. I just can't believe that anyone would use the fact that you work, or are single as a reason not to converse if they are in a conversational mood. I have friends in both catagories (as well as a couple stay at home dads.) Perhaps I am the exception to the rule, but I would hate to think that my attitude is not the norm.
Boy, did I ramble on.