Would you be a SAHM if you could? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 143 Old 10-20-2006, 08:11 PM
 
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I was a SAHM for 2 1/2 years and would love to be one again. I only got a job when it became apparant that we needed the money desperately. If there were another way, I'd do it. Even going pt instead of ft would be great. Part of it for me is that I hate my job and we have changing shifts (which as of late have become I-close-every-night shifts) with not enough staff so I'm lucky if I get one day off a week and I don't know day to day what my schedule is going to be. If I loved my job, I might be ok working part-time, less than 20 hours a week. But I miss my kids, miss my husband, my house is a mess and it just isn't worth it for what I do at work.

Mama to two boys and a girl.
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#62 of 143 Old 10-21-2006, 02:26 AM
 
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Sorta.

What one mama said (and others have quoted) about both mom and dad working part-time would really be ideal. I got a taste of it, when I was off because of a holiday and DD was home in between appointments, and it was really nice. He gave me the little bit of break that I needed and DD was thrilled to see him. But I was still looking forward to going back the next day.

Like other mamas, I need the mental stimulation. If I wasn't working for pay, I would have to do something, volunteer, take a class, something. I was a SAHM this past summer as there were no classes available for me to teach. Part of it I enjoyed but many times I was soooo ready to go back.

But ask me again in 6 mos, I might have a totally different answer.
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#63 of 143 Old 10-21-2006, 02:40 AM
 
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Nope. I love working. I was a sahm for a couple years and it's not for me. Right now I get a good deal because I have a super flexible job that I work 3 days a week. And the other 2 days a week I volunteer at ds's preschool. I feel like I have a great balance in my life right now. I am refreshed and happy to spend time with my kids, I have adult friends, I put time into my child
s education, I have money to do what I want and I feel like an all around happier person.

disclaimer: not trying to imply this is how it would be for anyone else. just my personal experience
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#64 of 143 Old 10-21-2006, 11:22 AM
 
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I was a SAHM for 5 years. Now, my Dd is at school most of the day, so 'm back at work.
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#65 of 143 Old 10-21-2006, 04:05 PM
 
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I am working full-time and don't see DD from 7:30-5:30. I find this too long. But a twenty-hour week would be great.

have mixed feelings, as my transition from SAHM is WOHM is very recent. However, I think DD and I are both better off with some time away from each other at present. I do think that 50 hours a week is TOO much time, though.

grateful mother to DD, 1/04, and DS, 2/08

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#66 of 143 Old 10-21-2006, 04:11 PM
 
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Meant to add--I think in a super-ideal world, DH and I would both work part-time AND DD would be in preschool say, 3 days a week for four hours a day. (She really loves "school.") When she was younger (say, 12 months-2 years) I would have considered both of us working PT ideal, and before a year I'd say I prefer to be a SAHM.

grateful mother to DD, 1/04, and DS, 2/08

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#67 of 143 Old 10-21-2006, 04:29 PM
 
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I've been thinking that perhaps after baby#2 I'd consider not working. But the thought of being home with a toddler and a new baby -- YIKES!!!!!!!!! When would I ever get to the computer!

Even though we cold live on one salary, I like the extras the second salary provides, not to mention the savings for retirement and education costs. I am not a scrimper.
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#68 of 143 Old 10-21-2006, 05:32 PM
 
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I think the arrangement that would make me the most happy is to stay at home but to take classes part-time at the local college just for my own enrichment and to have something stimulating to do. I would LOVE to be in a position where I didn't have to work.

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#69 of 143 Old 10-22-2006, 09:37 PM
 
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New here - mom to DS (18 mos) and another to arrive via adoption sometime this winter.

I was surprised at how much I enjoyed my maternity leave - thought I'd go crazy out of work like that, but I didn't. I loved it. So, I think I'd enjoy being home fulltime until the kiddos are preschool age - then go to part-time. Not a reality for us right now, but DH is home days while I'm at work as we're on opposite shifts.

Emily
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#70 of 143 Old 10-22-2006, 09:44 PM
 
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Nope. I love working. I think I am a better mom because I have that adult contact through the day. I love sitting down with dd at supper time so she can share her day and I can share mine. Lately, we have been walking in the evening together and doing more chatting. It's wonderful and I love it. I think we would get on each other's nerves if we spent day in and day out together.

Kim, proud CPS mom to Marnie and my 4 legged kids, Jess, Zander, Oliver, Stumpy and Eddie.
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#71 of 143 Old 10-22-2006, 09:44 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ophelia2002 View Post
I know many of us have to work for various reasons. If you could be a SAHM, would you want to?
No. I am a working mom by choice. Wouldn't have it any other way.

WOHM to DS11 and DD9, both T1Ds

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#72 of 143 Old 10-23-2006, 11:13 AM
 
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Some days I feel like I could do it, other days, I feel like it's the last thing I want to do. But in an ideal world, where I didn't have to worry about money... I would quit working right now and finish the school program I am in full time and stay home. The classes I take are on-line and then I have to take a couple more but they are at night after dh is home. And then would switch to the career I actually want, as an accountant.

If I could, I would definitely work part time, but I am not sure if it is in my or my children's best interest to stay home. I know that sounds weird, but ds1 gets such varied activities and time with other children his age by going to a home daycare and sees his cousin (attends the same day care) on a regular basis.

To sum up, I guess I would still work, I truly like aspects of working, but I would work less hours if I could...

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#73 of 143 Old 10-23-2006, 11:15 AM
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There is no way that I would ever go back to being a stay at home mother. I would love to work less and spend more time with dd but I also enjoy working and dd loves to be around other kids so much that I don't think either of us would benefit from it. Being out of the house has always helped both me and dd to stay calm and sane.
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#74 of 143 Old 10-23-2006, 02:13 PM
 
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I've been thinking about this one ever since it was first posted. If I am being honest I would have to say no.
Suzy

Mother of two. : 4/05 and 1/07 Wife of one. : 7/01
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#75 of 143 Old 10-23-2006, 03:16 PM
 
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After the class I just taught (hm, were they children or WILD BEASTS???) sah is sounding real good right about now.

Oy veh, I think I need a drink.:
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#76 of 143 Old 10-23-2006, 03:32 PM
 
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I really wish I could stay home or at least work part time. But alas, it is not financially to be.
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#77 of 143 Old 10-23-2006, 03:38 PM
 
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I love my job, but if I could be a SAHM I definatly would...although my dd is 18, so I wouldn't really need to be one now. After all is said and done, I wish I could have been a SAHM.
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#78 of 143 Old 10-23-2006, 04:46 PM
 
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if I had to work more than now - yes. But 5-6 hrs a day is fine with me if I know my children are being well taken care of, and it is always nice to have some extra money in the budget. This way, we can all see the family back home over Christmas etc...so many things that I don't think wld be possible if I was a SAHM
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#79 of 143 Old 10-23-2006, 04:55 PM
 
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In an ideal world, I'd teach every other day. I love my job, but I really like the part-time thing that I did when I was finishing maternity leave. I always knew I'd be with my boys the next day, and after a long day with them, I knew I'd be back in the classroom the next. Does that make sense?

I love the summers off, but being a full time SAHM during our long winters might make me crazy. So, we're working toward our goal of an every-other-day schedule before our next child...
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#80 of 143 Old 10-24-2006, 02:03 AM
 
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I think I would say no too, I work three days a week, so I am with DD's 4 out of seven days, which is good. While there are days that I would love it, I think in the big picture I like that I am showing my daughters that getting a master's degree and doing somthing that contributes to the outside world is rewarding. I worked very hard to get to where I am, which also allowed me to go part-time, and I enjoy what I do. Plus it is fun to hear them talk about my work or see my projects.
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#81 of 143 Old 10-24-2006, 02:35 AM
 
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I would love nothing more then to be SAHM and hope that SO and I will be able to find a way to make this possible.
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#82 of 143 Old 10-24-2006, 03:41 AM
 
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Not sure if I should answer because I am at home, but I will anyway. I was so scared to stay home, but now I love it. My situation is unusual, but aren't we all unusual in some way? I was a student for many, many years (art and art history as majors, but also completed a German minor, and almost a bio major, and studied French and Italian as well. Obviously I love to study and finally found my nitch in Art History and planned to go to graduate school and hoped to become a professor. I still hope to do that someday, but for now I just hope I can keep making art and reading in my foreign languages. Most of the time I don't have anytime for it, but I hope that as my son gets older I can do those things more, but by then we will probably have an other. Anyway, aside from all this, I really love being home with him now.
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#83 of 143 Old 10-24-2006, 11:11 AM
 
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I don't know... We've been discussing this lately. I currently work 20 hours a week, flexible, self-scheduling, mostly in the office, but I can work some from home. I get paid maternity leave, paid sick leave and paid vacation even though I am part-time. Within the next year, we expect I will be able to quit and SAH. But I am not sure I will. It really depends on my mom and how I feel after I have this baby. There are alot of other factors too. Like loosing this job, it's my dream job for when my kids are in school and if I give it up, the odds are pretty slim of me finding something within the organization again. Plus, I was pretty miserable when I was SAH with DD. I am a much more sane, balanced person, when I am out of the house some. And, what is probably the biggest factor, my mom currently watches DD and will also have the baby. If she goes back to work full-time and I have to pay for daycare, there won't be a question. I'll be paying as much as I make, so I would leave. We'll see...

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#84 of 143 Old 10-24-2006, 12:20 PM
 
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For me , it depends largely on the number of kids we end up having and also what kind of activities they are all into. I don't think i could sah and not do any kind of work though. My ultimate goal is to own my own business that i could do to keep me busy so to speak, but i don't want to have to rely on that money to survive. My husband could never sah and he and i agree someone should be home when the kids go to school and get home, as well as be available to drive kids to various activities. Right now i only work part time at night, and my husband stays home. If for some reason, i am never able to wah, this setup works well for us. I know my son is with his dad while i work, and i get to spend all day with him. He does go to a kids day out at a church one day a week, and that gives me a nice break.

E Veg*n Mom to ds 6 : dd 3
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#85 of 143 Old 10-24-2006, 09:42 PM
 
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My answer that this question has varied over the months and years. In my current situation, I'd hate to give up my job. It's very satisfying and fills a need in the community that my dd will grow up in. She also has a wonderful dcp and is thriving in that little community of kids. If I ever lose that dcp (a very real possibility next Spring), then I'd probably desparately wish I could stay home with her, just to know what her days are like, what she's learning all day from her surroundings, how she's being treated, etc.

My dh has a somewhat flexible schedule and can WAH much of the time, but he can't really focus on her needs while he's working, so that doesn't help all that much in the daycare department. I don't know how WAHM/D's do it! (My hat's off to ya'll.)

I'd like to homeschool her; with a little luck, that might be possible by the time she reaches school age. I think I would still want a pt professional position, though, because it's important to me that she grows up knowing that girls can have jobs and careers, etc etc. If I leave my position for too long, it will be hard to find a good spot when I'm ready to come back -- I'll be obsolete!

I can't imagine being bored as a SAHM, so that's not an issue for me. I love watching little kids grow and explore the world. I'd probably end up as dcp myself if I were SAH. OTH, I've only had short periods of time to SAH, so maybe I just don't realize yet what I would be getting myself into!
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#86 of 143 Old 10-24-2006, 09:58 PM
 
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My answer is YES YES YES- right now. 6 months from now- I don't know. When i have more than one- I don't know. But right now YES!

Ideally though I would LOVE to work part time- either half days or 3 days a week. And my mother would watch the kids. That would make me the happiest mama around!
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#87 of 143 Old 10-31-2006, 05:59 PM
 
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I yearn to be a SAHM. I'd do it in a heartbeat, given the opportunity. I get to hang out with my son all day Saturdays and Sundays; those are the hardest days of my week, but also the best.
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#88 of 143 Old 11-01-2006, 01:41 AM
 
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Yes, without a doubt.
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#89 of 143 Old 11-01-2006, 01:57 AM
 
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Yep, I would.
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#90 of 143 Old 11-01-2006, 08:37 AM
 
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Heck yeah! I would love to stay at home!! DH said in 2 years I can but by then my kids will all be in school full time. At that point I would want to do volenteer work. There is a group called CASA and they are advocates for foster kids, I would love to do that. I would continue being involved in my boys' PTO but at least I wouldnt be pulling my hair out to get to meetings and such. My house might even stay clean! That would be amazing.
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