Over Extended! - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 05-08-2003, 11:06 AM - Thread Starter
 
asherah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Swimming in the cauldron of rebirth
Posts: 2,649
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Do you ever feel like you are just trying to do too much/have a problem saying "no"?

I work fulltime and I mother fulltime. But I said yes to a couple of outside projects and now I realize I just can't do them.
But if I bail I will be letting people down and they will be angry.
I am trying to find replacements so I won't be leaving them in the lurch.. but I feel like sh**.

Does anyone else ever get into this situation?
I feel like I need to totally clean my plate of obligations and not take on any more or I will curl up into the fetal position and not be able to move kwim?
asherah is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 05-08-2003, 11:44 AM
 
Foobar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Beyond the last byte in the buffer
Posts: 1,944
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think it is ok to go to someone and say, "wow, I really underestimated how much work this would be. I don't think I can do this because I have too much else going on with work and being a mom".

It's a tough thing because we like to think we can do it all, and we can't....

Sending a hug because I know how you feel!
Foobar is offline  
Old 05-08-2003, 12:13 PM
 
1jooj's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 5,577
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I know how you feel. I am looking now at ways to lessen the load without being conspicuous. I bowed out of my first thing this week--a thing at our mosque. I made sure there was coverage for the event, and then didn't show up.

I am thinking about buying bread instead of having to bake for a while.

In my case, my workload is big because of the gap before me...I am still playing ketchup 6 months in. And I have a trade show coming up this weekend (I don't go, but I order all the materials, coordinate the exhibit, etc etc), so it's been heavy the past few weeks. And now I am newly pg--sick AND tired.

I want so badly to tell the boss I am pg, but it is too early for me to be comfortable. He is a friend first and a boss second, but still. He was totally understanding and excellent when I was out with my ectopic, just weeks after I started. But I don't know.

My house is a mess, my ds needs a bath, and I am NOT at all motivated to actually work!
1jooj is offline  
Old 05-09-2003, 11:44 PM
 
singermom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: new jersey
Posts: 563
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I get myself into this predicament a lot of the time--it seems like I can never learn the lesson that I need to do less. But by the same token, I have found that if I do NOTHING besides work and chase the kids, I do get a tad bored--especially in the winter, when we can't go out. Now it is a little better, because we can at least get out for walks.

I have this kind of mantra that I try to use, whenever I feel like taking another thing on--it goes something along the lines of "I am a mother to two children under age 4, I work full time AND I nurse...that's enough." I do NOT want to teach my girls that the only way a woman can appear "successful" is by rushing through life doing everything all the time.

I also try to have little celebrations for myself (even if it is just me doing the happy dance in my kitchen) whenever I finish some project that I have taken on that I shouldn't have. Like when I stopped doing the church newsletter...now I am REVELING in not being so involved at church because I don't HAVE TO BE!

Good luck--I know where you are coming from.

Mia
singermom is offline  
Old 05-10-2003, 12:12 AM
 
Maribel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: San Jose, CA
Posts: 649
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have no words of advice because I'm the worst culprit of this. I've improved this year and have just been saying "no". Yes, it's not popular, but hey, I just can't swing it, so why commit, right?
Maribel is offline  
Old 05-11-2003, 01:53 PM
 
1jooj's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 5,577
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Singermama, you are inspiring me. I think I am going ot give up the newsletter too. Another woman, a mama-to-be, worked on it with me, and she gave it up into her first trimester with twins. I am so proud of her for standing up and saying ENOUGH! well before her kids are born--she obviously knows how to put herself first when necessary. I need to take this example.
1jooj is offline  
Old 05-11-2003, 04:42 PM
 
singermom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: new jersey
Posts: 563
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Well, Ummnuh, thank you--I'm flattered to be an inspiration to someone!

I guess it all comes back to that balance thing (I think everything comes back to the balance thing). I mean, I really, really don't miss doing the work of the newsletter, but I do miss talking to the people that I had to get information from, and things like that. I've been thinking about how all things happen in their season, though, and now is NOT my season for newsletters and active church work, but maybe it will be in a few years.

Anyway, happy Mom's day to all of us!

Mia
singermom is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off