So mad at DD daycare - kind of long - Mothering Forums
Working and Student Parents > So mad at DD daycare - kind of long
momof1baby's Avatar momof1baby 10:51 AM 05-17-2003
DD started a new daycare 2 weeks ago and up till now, we have been really happy with it. For lunch they always offer varied foods, and always fruits and veggies. But....

Last night was parents night out. Since I usually pick up my DD at around 5:15, I hung out with her there till about 6:00 and then I left to go meet my DH. While I was there, I noticed that she had eaten all her veggies at lunch but the teacher said she wasn't really interested in the pizza. I said "Well, what about tonight, you are serving pizza for dinner and what if she doesn't want any of that, should I go get something else for her" She said to me that no, they always have extra lunches around and that they would make sure she had something to eat. She even wrote it down for the teacher that was taking over. As I was leaving DD started crying and one of the other teachers asked if she was okay, I told her she was getting hungry and that as soon as she ate she would be fine, but that she might not eat the pizza. She said "Oh, well, we will make sure she at least gets some healthy snacks into her"

I go back to pick her up at about 9:30, I expected to find a sleeping child. Instead, she is awake (not crying, but clearly not overly happy) and the woman told me that she hadn't eaten, she didn't want the pizza. I said "well, did you try to offer her anything else", she said that no, they throw everything away at the end of the week, and all they had was the pizza.

We get her home at 9:45 and she ate 3 helpings of chicken, 2 helpings of grapes and some bread. SHE WAS HUNGRY. I am so angry right now, I plan on calling them on Monday and letting them know that I think it is totally unacceptable that they offered my child one thing and when she didn't eat it, they didn't offer anything else. I mean, at least give her some cheerios or crackers or something.

We switched daycare centers cause I thought she would have a more enriching experience. They do great activities with the kids, even the ones who are 12-18 months like my daughter.

Does anyone have any ideas on how to approach this without being confrontational? I tend to stumble over my words when I get angry and I always end up saying something I shouldn't.

Thanks!
Vanessa

lilyka's Avatar lilyka 11:48 AM 05-17-2003
I guess i wouldn't be too upset by this. Our house rule is that you eat what is fixed or you don't eat. You didn't mention how old your dd is though. We start with that at about 2- 2 1/2. HOWEVER - they did tell you they would feed her something else. Ok maybe they weren't sure what they had. they should have checked before assuring you that you didn't need to get anything.I would be upset about that but unless it happeneed again i definitely wouldn't pull her out or anything. It was a mistake and you and your dd deserve an apology. it sounds like a good daycare though so I would try to work with them. If it is just the Moms night out thing that they can't get right then don't do it. It is a huge benifit that they offer it but totally unnessecary. I can imagine it is hard on every one. We are talking about kids who have been in the same building away from thier parents all day and into the night, past bedtimes, out of routien. It sounds like pizza and snacks were the last thing on the workers mind.

So they don't do nighttime childcare adequately but you are happy with thier daytime stuff? Then ask for an apology about the whole food thing and stick with thier basic services. they seem like they have that right. I would also et a menu for the week or pack snacks in her bag.
Indigomama's Avatar Indigomama 06:04 PM 05-17-2003
I would be mad too. Was the woman someone who normally looks after dd?

You definitely need to discuss this with the dc administrator. As it was a parents night out, this may not be the norm as far as how they would handle the situation, but you definitely need to find out. I would definitely stress how disconcerting it is to pick up your child and have them crying... especially when it is for something as simple as FOOD! Present a few scenarios that may happen and ask how they think it should be handled. If they regularly don't have snacks available during odd times or won't off alternative food, then they should honor the request that your dd be able to eat snacks you bring in.

I know my dc for kids up to 3 1/2-4, have cheerios and crackers readily available at all times as kids this age ESPECIALLY < 18 months don't always conform well to a strict eating schedule. And if the kids don't like lunch, they almost always will eat cheerios

Good luck, and stay cool, calm and collected. I would judge the day care not by this one incident, but definitely by how they respond to your concerns.
momof1baby's Avatar momof1baby 02:43 PM 05-19-2003
So, I called this morning and they appologized profusely. Said they didn't undersatnd because they always at least have things like applesauce and cheerios and crackers, etc. and that she should have been given somethine. Said the note was even still there that her regular teacher wrote. She said she would speak to the teacher and call me back.

DH said I handled it really well. I didn't get upset, I just explained the facts. Feels pretty good to stand up for my DD, even if it something as simple as this.
Indigomama's Avatar Indigomama 12:29 AM 05-20-2003
YEAH!!!!

I know I'm usually a big wimp, and have just started to have this "other" person come out once in a while. I know what a great feeling it is.

And double YEAH!! on the fact that they handled it so well.
carmen veranda's Avatar carmen veranda 02:51 PM 05-20-2003
Way to go!!! I think you handled that perfectly!!!!
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