Going Back to work Guilt - Mothering Forums

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Old 06-09-2003, 06:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I just started my 26 month dd at part time preschool to get her used to it. I plan to eventually have her there 3 full days a week so I can work out of the house. My dh is dead against it. Wants to have another child right away (I don't want one yet) and is playing on all my guilt about wanting to do this. He likes to point out how bad the economy is right now and that finding a job will be impossible. Let's just say *I* don't think I will have a problem finding work. I have a lot of confidence that I will.

Today was my dd's first day at school and I have to say she loved it. She really enjoyed her time there. I hope tomorrow goes as well.

Have any of you ever been in this position of wanting to go back to work and being told you are selfish for doing so? My family supports me. My friends say my dd is so ready (she's talking a lot and wants to learn more about letters and numbers). There is no problem anywhere except in my weird dh's mind. He's very traditional. His mum stayed home with him and mine stayed home with me until kindergarden.

*sigh* Feeling very sad that dh and I cannot agree on what is best for our daughter.

Denny
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Old 06-09-2003, 07:30 PM
 
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A few years ago, my dh and i were at odds about me working. or should i say back in 94 he was. then i became a nurse, make great money in half the time and no longer have those issues. however, if i called him at work and told him i quit the ER, he would be elated. he just loves it when i am home full time all the time.

Yes to others making me feel guilty. my immediate family, meaning mom, brother, grandparents cousins aunts and uncles are very supportive. they think I'm the bomb. however, my sil 9 houses away feels differently and is quite vocal about it. i no longer speak with her. no one can make you feel guilty unless you let them. your husband is certainly within his right to say he wants you at home full time with your child. after all, he is her father. that said, you also have a say in this and should be weighed equally, if not more in your favor. its very easy for husbands to say... to demand that we walk away from our jobs, as they skip to the car and are gone for 12 hrs a day.

i'll support ya. email me anytime.

Lisa
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Old 06-09-2003, 08:29 PM
 
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I can offer support this way:

Let's trade husbands! Mine wouldn't want me to stay home if he was a freakin' millionaire.

Three full days isn't even half the week. You'll be with her the majority of the time. I don't think that's selfish. You're even transitioning gradually. Good luck. I hope you find a middle ground where everyone can be content.
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Old 06-09-2003, 08:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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You guys are great. Thanks. He's coming around but it's going to be a long slow battle to prove she's not being harmed by the experience and may even thrive.

Denny
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