Will I be able to make it at work? - Mothering Forums

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Old 06-26-2003, 07:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I just had my DS on April 20th - seems like 2 seconds ago - and now have to return to work in 2 weeks... I like my job... It is manageable - I never have to work overtime - and my co-workers and boss are very family-oriented (I do childcare center and home daycare licensing)... So I know when I need to take care of DS and need time away, that will be fine with boss - but we're bf and cs (love the naps), sing songs, and dance all day long, and being home with DH is just not the same for the babe... he cries and DH has a hard time soothing him sometimes... DH and DS will be home together until Sept. and in Sept. DH starts new lawyer job and DS will have to go to daycare (home daycare)...

...anyhow... HOW DO YOU COPE? I know none of us really want to work all of the time... but WILL IT GET EASIER? The tears have already started... I miss his warm little body already... and I'm still home for 2 more weeks...

...I want the transition to be smooth. Any suggestions, please.

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Old 06-27-2003, 11:47 AM
 
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I know it's hard, but try not to dwell too much on the separation during these next 2 weeks and just enjoy your remaining time together. Also, would your employer be willing to let you return to work on a Wednesday or Thursday for part days those two days (and possibly the following week) to ease the transition? Also, even though ds isn't as happy with DH as you, you know that you're leaving him with someone you trust implicitly and who loves him as much as you do. My DH also takes care of my dd and it's a great comfort to me. Hang in there. No it's never fun, but it does get a little easier.
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Old 06-27-2003, 12:05 PM
 
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It is never easy--it just gets a little easier. I am sorry. But Hannah's mom is right--don't waste these two weeks by worrying. Enjoy them. BE. It will be hard, but having dh home with hiim till September will really help ease your mind. Good luck!
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Old 06-27-2003, 12:45 PM
 
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You can do it.

The first few weeks back are very hard.
But once you get into a routine, it gets easier.
For me, the hardest thing is feeling sooo tired when I get home, but still wanting to be "on" for ds.

Seeing his little face light up when I walk through the door is a huge help... He is 13 months now and can express himself better.. and that makes it so much easier.. getting affection from him, seeing how happy he is to be with mom.. and that will come for you in time too, soon.

At work, I remind myself constantly that I am doing it for HIM. That I am trying to make our lives better.

Also.. you will need to take very good care of yourself.
And that's hard, especially because you may feel like you are already taking time away at work.. so you want to spend every other minute mothering..

At least that's how I felt.. but I am now allowing myself time at the gym after work.. because I was burning out doing nothing for myself.

It'll be ok, it really will.
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Old 06-27-2003, 01:10 PM
 
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I agree with everything that has been posted here already...is there anyway you can meet for a mid-day nursing session? I was able to go over to nurse dd#2 at the day care center for about five months after I went back to work, and sometimes it was the only thing that got me through the day...

Asherah's point about taking time for yourself is really important, too. It is hard to do, but very worth it.

Good luck, and it will all work out.

Mia
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Old 06-27-2003, 03:46 PM
 
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Just chiming in with what everyone else has said. to you. It is hard, especially at the beginning.

Easing into it was key for me. I started out part-time in the office and working from home for the balance. Having someone that I trusted (like DH and the friend who kept him part-time for the first year) there when I wasn't was also invaluable. It made me feel better to know that was giving DH his time with the baby so that they could build a stronger bond, too.

And, of course, when I can't stand it anymore, I cut out of the office and go see my baby!

Good luck to you!
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Old 07-02-2003, 07:53 PM
 
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Yup it is hard and not every day is easier even now, but you will be able to do it. And your DH and DS will be able to bond while you are away. This will really give them a chance to get close. DD and DH were not close till I started leaving htem together because I would always just take over if it took DH too long to calm him down.

Starting out PT is a good idea though. See if you can swing it for at least a couple of weeks.

Good luck and enjoy your last two weeks at home
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Old 07-03-2003, 05:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the kind words of encouragement... I am going to be going back on Monday (7-7-03) and will be working 1/2 days in the office, 1/2 days at home with DS - DH is studying for the Bar exam, so that'll be good - he can study a little more... And DH and I discussed it again, and decided that when he starts work in Sept. that I will stay home with the babe. YIPPIE!!! I will hopefully be able to get some consulting jobs (have done some consulting before current job) just to help out a little with $$... With try to be a WAHM with DS in a sling

Again, thanks!
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Old 07-03-2003, 06:07 PM
 
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You will do GREAT. That is GIFT that your husband can watch him all the way until September. And it sounds like this will be a great investment for both dh and ds so that they can form a tighter bond before he enters daycare. My husband took paternity leave when I went back to work so we could stretch out that time at home for the babe and it was awesome. My husband got the confidance he needed in being the sole caregiver by me being at work. At first, they stayed at home a lot and then my husband would take him all kinds of places, the park, coffee shops etc. and really enjoyed it. I would say the transition to daycare was much harder for me than the transition back to work. And it remains true to this day. The days my husband has him and I work are easy. The days he is at daycare, I worry and miss him more. I think that is the nature of the beast. I was really emotional my last week with him as well, especially my last day home with him. I remedied that by having as much fun as we possibly could - picnics in the park, dancing, singing, etc. You'll do GREAT!

Hope that helps a little
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Old 07-03-2003, 06:08 PM
 
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I was having technical difficulties so I meant to post my message earlier this morning - SO glad you have worked out such a wonderful situation. Congratulations!
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