Aspiring/Active/Retiring/Recovering LAWYER MOMS! - Page 11 - Mothering Forums

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#301 of 369 Old 01-09-2009, 06:42 PM
 
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Any of you flat-out NOT PLAY GOLF?

My boss was half-amused, half-appalled to find out that I do not and will not golf. I'm happy to go to other schmoozing events in the name of client development. But golf is my line in the sand.


Anyone else?
I don't play at all.

Lots of lawyers do play, and there are events I don't go to that others in my group do. I would think it's such a hackneyed thing to do with clients, but I guess people who are really into it don't feel that way!

I've never had anyone roll their eyes at me not playing, though. Lots of the business development talks and materials we get go on about finding the strategies that work for you, which might well not include golf! It can't possibly be that all clients play golf either, right?
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#302 of 369 Old 01-09-2009, 11:47 PM
 
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Hi everyone, I'm new here and I just posted a reply re: the constitutional law bar review question mentioned a bit ago on that other board. I've been lurking a lot, looking for somewhere I can call home ... I think this may be it!

Can any of you lawyer moms tell me what the lifestyle is like? Generally, I'm curious to know what it's like to be a practicing attorney and have a baby, but more specifically, is anyone in their 30s, a few years out into the practice, and just now contemplating TTC #1 in the next couple years or so?
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#303 of 369 Old 01-10-2009, 12:06 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, I lost my job today.
If any of you know of a litigation position in the DC area, please pm me.
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#304 of 369 Old 01-10-2009, 11:21 AM
 
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Hi everyone, I'm new here and I just posted a reply re: the constitutional law bar review question mentioned a bit ago on that other board. I've been lurking a lot on iVillage, and now on here, looking for somewhere I can call home ... I think this may be it!

Can any of you lawyer moms tell me what the lifestyle is like? Generally, I'm curious to know what it's like to be a practicing attorney and have a baby, but more specifically, is anyone about my age (I'm almost 30), a few years out into the practice (I graduated in 2004), and just now contemplating TTC #1 in the next couple years or so?

By way of background, I started in government (AG's Office) then moved to a mid-sized firm, followed by another move to a similar firm just a few months ago. When I started in private practice I was miserable, but now I love my job (labor & employment for management) and can't imagine ever staying home or even working part-time. All this coincides with my learning that fertility drops off significantly at the age of 35 (WHAT??); therefore, I have bumped up my plans - used to want babies at approximately age 36 and 38, now thinking I should do this at around ages 32 and 34-35.

For any of you who work full-time at a firm and use daycare, what has that experience been like? I'm not covered by FMLA but I hope to finagle 6 to 8 weeks of leave and then have my husband take 6 to 8 of his own, so we can start daycare at 12 to 16 weeks.

Oh yeah ... we just got married and we need to buy a house at some point! And I just started saving for retirement!

Sorry to throw all this out there ... I am just so excited to have finally found people I can relate to. I get so depressed because I feel like no one else is in my situation. I have friends who are work-a-thon lawyers with no kids, or SAHMs, but no one really in between who wants to advise me on all this. Sorry for the long post.
I don't have any daycare advice but just wanted to say that I never wanted to stay home when I had kids, but once my baby was actually born, everything changed and I couldn't imagine leaving him. Just to warn you that it might happen to you!

DS1 2004 ~ DS2 2005 ~ DD1 2008 ~ DS3 2010 ~ DD2 due Dec. 2014
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#305 of 369 Old 01-10-2009, 12:10 PM
 
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Well, I lost my job today.
If any of you know of a litigation position in the DC area, please pm me.
Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. I'll keep my ear to the ground for you. If you want to share specifics about what you're looking for, pls feel free to PM me.

ETA: quick search of the DC Bar's career ctr yielded this position as well as a few others:

http://dcbar.legalstaff.com/JobSeeke...5-a270d3f36d7d
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#306 of 369 Old 01-10-2009, 12:14 PM
 
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Yeah, I've considered that too. What work did you do prior to baby, when did you realize you wanted to stay home, and what were the factors that went into your decision? At this time, I'm fairly confident that we could live off of one income (his or mine) if we needed to, but neither of us want to risk leaving great careers and being unable to get back on track in our respective professions when the kids are in school. I did buy a great book that helps professionals ease into the transition from work to home, and then back. I'm definitely still gathering information at this point before carving anything in stone.
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#307 of 369 Old 01-10-2009, 12:29 PM
 
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Any of you flat-out NOT PLAY GOLF?

My boss was half-amused, half-appalled to find out that I do not and will not golf. I'm happy to go to other schmoozing events in the name of client development. But golf is my line in the sand.


Anyone else?
No golf here, either. Don't enjoy it, can't see the point. With friends I will ride around on the cart and enjoy the great outdoors while others play. But I can't see that going over too well with clients . . .
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#308 of 369 Old 01-10-2009, 03:03 PM
 
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Well, I lost my job today.
If any of you know of a litigation position in the DC area, please pm me.
I'm so sorry to hear that! I'm nowhere near DC, unfortunately, but hope something good turns up for you.
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#309 of 369 Old 01-11-2009, 12:33 AM
 
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Well, I lost my job today.
If any of you know of a litigation position in the DC area, please pm me.
I'm SO sorry.
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#310 of 369 Old 01-11-2009, 11:56 AM
 
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Yeah, I've considered that too. What work did you do prior to baby, when did you realize you wanted to stay home, and what were the factors that went into your decision? At this time, I'm fairly confident that we could live off of one income (his or mine) if we needed to, but neither of us want to risk leaving great careers and being unable to get back on track in our respective professions when the kids are in school. I did buy a great book that helps professionals ease into the transition from work to home, and then back. I'm definitely still gathering information at this point before carving anything in stone.
I was a Spanish teacher at a wealthy private high school. So pretty much a sinecure. And I STILL couldn't leave ds. When my 12 week leave was over (50+ employees) I was okay going back for 2 weeks, b/c I wasn't totally bonded yet, and then it was summer break. Then I got my teaching schedule for the next year and had 4th and 5th periods free, so I asked to run home (7 minutes away) to nurse ds, and they said no. Can you believe that? They actually wanted to restrict what I did with my lunch. I could have fought it legally, but wanted to stay home with ds more. So I resigned. YMMV.

DS1 2004 ~ DS2 2005 ~ DD1 2008 ~ DS3 2010 ~ DD2 due Dec. 2014
On hospital bedrest for pPROM since 23 weeks
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#311 of 369 Old 01-11-2009, 01:40 PM
 
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It is a little odd that they told you what to do with your lunch break, especially if other routinely went out for lunch. Incidentally, I used practice education law, although usually from the public school end. Anyway, thanks for the story. For my part, I have thought about the fact that my office has a glass door, so pumping will require me to hang blinds or something, lol. Hopefully that will fly with them.
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#312 of 369 Old 01-11-2009, 02:39 PM
 
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Seems like UW and SU have gotten a lot more proactive on babies and breastfeeding. That is awesome. I was at SU as a visiting student my last semester but graduated/went 2.5 years to the University of Georgia. Difference was night and day. Anyway, nice to see some locals in the mix.
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#313 of 369 Old 01-12-2009, 10:48 PM
 
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Hi all, I guess maybe I should intro myself.

I am an attorney in Ohio, who is also the mom of three wonderful children. Because of the high costs of child care, and the relatively low rates of salary in the area, I am a WAHM working part time. I do a lot of Court Appointed work to make ends meet.

I started out working a few months after passing the bar as an attorney. I clerked for awhile while in law school, then stopped when I was studying for the bar. That was back in 2000/2001. I worked for an attorney for about 1 1/2 years, until things just were not working out. Too many demands when I just found out I was pregnant (things like no personal appointments during office hours -- including medical appointments; telling me I have to work until all hours of the evening, starting at like 8-10 am...) So, i then went out and
tried to start out with another attorney, and after my child was born, things just were not working out, so I ended up going out on my own and have been doing that for about 5 years now.

I do mostly low level felony cases, juvenile delinquency cases, and family law. I do a few other things as well, but they are few and far between.

Oh, and I never played golf...I ice skate instead. My grandfather tried teaching me and I never caught on to it.
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#314 of 369 Old 02-05-2009, 12:26 AM
 
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I'm in-house counsel with a Swiss based engineering company and handle mostly contract negotiations, but also some corporate/board work and M&A stuff. With that said, I'm actually hoping that one of you out there is an antitrust specialist... Specifically, I'm interested in whether there is an argument to be made for tying by Merck with respect to the MMR vaccine...??? Sorry - I'm just desperate and angry that I can't get the mumps vaccine separately so I'm apparently going to have to go with the MMR combo (grrrr)(LO just turned 1 and is in daycare so we have until 16 months). We had already switched peds and everything...

Any thoughts?
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#315 of 369 Old 02-05-2009, 11:35 AM
 
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I'm not an antitrust lawyer, but it sounds interesting. Not likely to help you in the next 6 months, though. Have you looked up the relevant case law? I would imagine you would get hung up on the factual proof b/c most people would look at you like you were insane for questioning the awesomeness of any vaccines.

DS1 2004 ~ DS2 2005 ~ DD1 2008 ~ DS3 2010 ~ DD2 due Dec. 2014
On hospital bedrest for pPROM since 23 weeks
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#316 of 369 Old 02-06-2009, 12:04 AM
 
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I'm in-house counsel with a Swiss based engineering company and handle mostly contract negotiations, but also some corporate/board work and M&A stuff. With that said, I'm actually hoping that one of you out there is an antitrust specialist... Specifically, I'm interested in whether there is an argument to be made for tying by Merck with respect to the MMR vaccine...??? Sorry - I'm just desperate and angry that I can't get the mumps vaccine separately so I'm apparently going to have to go with the MMR combo (grrrr)(LO just turned 1 and is in daycare so we have until 16 months). We had already switched peds and everything...

Any thoughts?
Would your theory be that the M, M and R that make up the MMR vaccine are illegally tied? Sorry, that doesn't sound viable, but I'm no tying specialist, and don't know enough about the way that vaccines are made and marketed to say for sure. To state a valid (horizontal) tying claim you have to allege that two or more separate products are at issue -- the sale of one being "tied" to that of another. So, say the sale of lamps tied to the sale of lightbulbs. I'd doubt that a composite vaccine like MMR would be considered three separate products for this analysis (despite the fact that you can get a vaccine for each of the three diseases separately). Products that are made up of many component parts don't, by their mere sale as a larger assembled product, support a tying claim. For example, a car is made up of many separate parts, but by marketing an assembled car a manufacturer can't be said to have illegally tied the sale of the bumpers to that of the windshield wipers and the engine.

Then there's also the issue that not all tying is illegal -- have to show strong market power by the seller and a couple of other things that I've forgotten long ago. . . .

I'm not clear on who makes what vaccines, but if Merck had an agreement with the producer of the mumps vax that the latter would scale back production or otherwise take the mumps vaccine off of the market for other than legitimate business reasons to increase demand for the MMR, then you might have a Sherman Act section 1 claim -- a conspiratorial agreement in restraint of trade. But if Merck makes both vaccines then this analysis won't fly. A corporation can't conspire with itself.

But you can still be mad at Merck. That doesn't require any particular factual predicate!
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#317 of 369 Old 02-06-2009, 01:18 AM
 
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But you can still be mad at Merck. That doesn't require any particular factual predicate!

LOL!

Wife 6/2005, Mommy 9/2008 to DD and 1/2011 to DS:
sci-fi loving, theater loving, lawyer mama.
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#318 of 369 Old 05-29-2009, 11:52 AM - Thread Starter
 
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How is everyone doing?
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#319 of 369 Old 05-29-2009, 12:11 PM
 
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Aspiring here Just finished my 1L year and started my 1L summer job. I am VERY glad to be done with 1L.
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#320 of 369 Old 05-29-2009, 01:25 PM
 
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Aspiring here Just finished my 1L year and started my 1L summer job. I am VERY glad to be done with 1L.
Wow, for some reason, I am not getting the updates on this thread much! I just saw that you finished your first year, Gethane, and wanted to know more.

I was also laid off from my Philly firm (let go most of their part-timers) but it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I am now doing per diem work part-time and I registered my own office, so I'm going to eventually start building up a special education practice.
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#321 of 369 Old 05-29-2009, 07:12 PM
 
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sarahz, thank you for asking (and answering some questions for me last year ).

I will not leave all of this up for google to find eons in the future . So those of you subscribed now will probably get the more interesting stuff.

First, I love going to law school. It is absolutely the most stimulating thing I've done in my lifetime other than becoming a parent when my first child was born. Second, going to law school at *** is amazing for so many reasons. And I say that even though the school is all torn up and blocked off and inconvenient due to construction.

I so wish I had kept a journal of the last two years of my life or, alternatively, that I had the talent to write a book about it. Not that I think I am particularly interesting, but the path my life has been on is certainly out of the ordinary! Going to law school at 40 as the mother of 5 children shocks even federal district judges into gasps .

**

The upshot, for any other aspirings that might be reading. If going to law school is your dream, and you've wanted to do it for years (I've wanted to be a lawyer since I was 15, so that makes 25 years of wishing), you CAN make it happen. Yes, its been a very hard year, and taken all at once, overwhelming. But I did this all with pretty small steps along the way, none of them too daunting by themselves.
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#322 of 369 Old 05-29-2009, 09:46 PM
 
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Wow!!! : and all at the same time.

What wonderful news - Berkeley, yay! I'm kinda jealous. And it sounds like you are doing fabulously, especially considering all you have been through. I admire you so much for going after your dream.

I hope your teenager is doing better, and wish your husband all the best. Being out of work in this economy is no fun. I feel thankful that I had my husband's support to turn down the firm opportunities and go out on my own, despite the obvious risks.

Congrats, and keep truckin'! Just two more years to go....
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#323 of 369 Old 05-29-2009, 10:01 PM
 
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Hi all!

I was happy to see some activity on this thread.
Bedtime is upon is here. I'll be back later to post an update (and maybe an introduction, too, I don't recall if I ever did one . . .).

Hope all is well with everyone.
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#324 of 369 Old 05-29-2009, 11:37 PM
 
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I'm here. Working a lot, enjoying marriage, and buying a house this summer. Still not TTC #1 but hopefully will be later this year ... and still trying to decide whether I will stay or leave work (or start a solo practice?) when that baby eventually comes. My boss has major mood swings and is very demanding, but I'm happy that our little firm is weathering the economy unlike so many bigger offices around here that have done major layoffs or salary cuts. Doing a lot of discrimination hearings - disability, public accommodations, that kind of thing. Also random litigation from referrals we've been getting from existing clients - contractor/subcontractor disputes, revenue audits.
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#325 of 369 Old 05-30-2009, 02:35 AM
 
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Hi everyone!

I was laid off from my government job and found a great position at a small firm. Although going through the job search process was grueling, it was a great move for me for many reasons.
to the law student mamas!
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#326 of 369 Old 06-04-2009, 07:55 PM
 
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Hi all! I'm not sure if I've posted here before or not. I'm a prosecutor (misdemeanor and juvenile) in Florida, but am moving to Texas next month. I'm not planning to take the Bar Exam there because we'll only be there for two years (Huz is getting an MBA), but will be looking for a non-lawyer job that won't kill my career. Whatever that might look like. I haven't read the entire thread, but wanted to say hi and introduce myself.

Hi!

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#327 of 369 Old 06-05-2009, 11:17 PM
 
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Hi everybody!

I've posted before on this thread, but a quick re-introduction: I graduated from law school last year, and I'm doing trusts and estates work at an Atlanta mid-size firm. I like it, generally, although I have my bad days (who doesn't?). I have a lot to learn, but I'm getting there! I had DD in October of my 3L year, and somehow managed to still finish and graduate on time. Phew.

Question for the lawyer mamas: in order to work at this entry-level position, I do have to prove myself a bit, and don't have a lot of flexibility with my hours. Plus, I have a billable hour requirement, which cuts down on flexibility too. I know this is not the ideal job to have when raising a LO, but for now I have to make it work--and hopefully in the future, more flexibility will come. I just don't have the seniority for it now. My family depends on my income, and yeah, it just has to work. No other options really.

So my question is: am I the worst for having to leave my daughter for 10-11 hours per day? My mom watches her three days a week, and she just started going to daycare two days per week (b/c Mom had to go back to work PT, before that she watched her every day). I generally don't have to work weekends. DD is the sweetest and smartest little thing, and I absolutely adore her, and all my non-work time is spent with her, all of it. But I've seen a lot of threads on here lately about routine 10-hour separations being so bad for LOs, and it makes me worry I figure I can't be the only lawyer mama on here with longish hours! Any advice, or words of comfort or wisdom? IDK, not sure what to do here, because like I said, I don't have the option of reducing hours or anything like that at this point.

Wife to DH 6/05 partners.gif and mommy to DD1, born 10/07 dust.gif and DD2, born June 2010 energy.gif, and one cat.gif! We bftoddler.gif, familybed2.gif, and homeschool.gif

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#328 of 369 Old 06-06-2009, 03:13 AM
 
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Hi everybody!


So my question is: am I the worst for having to leave my daughter for 10-11 hours per day? My mom watches her three days a week, and she just started going to daycare two days per week (b/c Mom had to go back to work PT, before that she watched her every day). I generally don't have to work weekends. DD is the sweetest and smartest little thing, and I absolutely adore her, and all my non-work time is spent with her, all of it. But I've seen a lot of threads on here lately about routine 10-hour separations being so bad for LOs, and it makes me worry I figure I can't be the only lawyer mama on here with longish hours! Any advice, or words of comfort or wisdom? IDK, not sure what to do here, because like I said, I don't have the option of reducing hours or anything like that at this point.

If you dont have any other options dont beat up yourself. Be really present when you are together. We didnt do all of the "extra" stuff - dance class, gymnastics class, etc. We found a ton of time to be together when we got rid of our tv.

Depending on what your work is like, I have found that I can leave work in time to have a nice dinner with dd, read a bed time story and then get a few hours of work done after she goes to bed - my dd is almost 6 and goes to be around 7:30. I can work 2 to 3 hours in the evening (in my pjs!) and have some important family time. I have also been known to wake up at 4:30 to get some work done when I've been in trial so that I can have some time with dd in the morning. Weekend nap times are also great for getting some work done.

Be kind to yourself and realize that you are a wonderful mama!
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#329 of 369 Old 06-06-2009, 03:51 PM
 
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NO you are not the worst mother ever! If you are I suppose I am to. I just went back to work after a 5 year stint staying home, I work anywhere from 20-40 hours a week as a contract attorney. I have to say I am loving it. I am in house at a small financial company. They are planning to hire me after my contract is up in July. The hours are awesome, 7-4 most days. It helps that we are on the Pacific Coast and they work with people across the country, so our office is pretty much quiet by 3:30. I am feeling guilty right now about enjoying being back at work. Does that make me the worst mother ever? I am happy to have a couple days a week to spend at the beach or park with my little ones, but it is nice to get grown up time and have work to do and feel useful for other reasons than my ability to pour milk in cereal and change diapers.

Have you thought about offering your mom some money to stay with your daughter the two days she is contemplating going back to work? I have found that over the last few months, my kids are happiest with a consistent schedule. Luckily we have a family friend with kids who are watching mine for the time being. I don't know what I am going to do for the fall yet. Anyone have any advice about choosing a nanny or child care provider? I am in uncharted water in that area!
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#330 of 369 Old 06-06-2009, 03:53 PM
 
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Hi all! I'm not sure if I've posted here before or not. I'm a prosecutor (misdemeanor and juvenile) in Florida, but am moving to Texas next month. I'm not planning to take the Bar Exam there because we'll only be there for two years (Huz is getting an MBA), but will be looking for a non-lawyer job that won't kill my career. Whatever that might look like. I haven't read the entire thread, but wanted to say hi and introduce myself.

Hi!
You should look at federal jobs most only require that you be licensed in any state. Also legal services will let you practice usually without taking the bar.
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