HELP--thinking of taking the semester off - Mothering Forums

Thread Tools
#1 of 5 Old 09-26-2007, 11:06 PM - Thread Starter
readytobedone's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: not dissertating
Posts: 3,466
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i just started back to school a few weeks ago, and wowzers, i am a REAL wreck. i'm a 4th year PhD, just teaching and taking a dissertation seminar. but i've had debilitating insomnia and neck and head pain for a couple weeks now (mostly corresponding to when teaching got going) and can only sleep at night by taking ativan. even that is not working so well.

i'm getting regular chiro adjustments, working with a regular MD, getting blood tests, and going for acupuncture (first time) on friday. so i'm trying to get better.

but i am stressed beyond belief. i keep telling myself i'm only teaching one class, i can do it, it's not that hard. people do it all the time (then i feel like a failure, comparing myself with them). but it apparently IS that hard because i am very close to not functioning at all. we have a babysitter 6 hours a week (2 of which i'm in lecture/staff meeting for teaching) i have 4 hours per week to do work in, and i usually end up using part of that to exercise or run an errand for myself.

so i end up trying to do most of my teaching prep, including reading, and anything else i need to do for school while DD is napping, or when DH is home. if she doesn't nap, i get really stressed and fear i'll end up in front of the class totally unprepared. DH is very supportive but he works FT, a regular 9-5 job, so he can only help so much during the day.

and i try to keep my evenings low-key so i can actually sleep so don't work after about 6-7.

financially, it would be tough if i took the semester off, but we could swing it. i could re-evaulate in the spring. i might lose part of my fellowship money. i don't know.

any other ideas of what i could do to make this easier on myself? i need to take care of myself and DD, first and foremost. i already have PPD and symptoms of PTSD from the birth and am pretty darn close to as messed up as i've ever been :

dissertating wife of Boo, mama of one "mookie" lovin' 2 year old girl! intactlact:: CTA until 7/10 FF 1501dc
readytobedone is offline  
Sponsored Links
#2 of 5 Old 09-26-2007, 11:25 PM
VisionaryMom's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 3,742
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I had horrible PTSD and PPD after DS was born. I ended up taking an antipsychotic cocktail. I absolutely HATE meds for mental illness, but I just couldn't function. I wasn't keeping up with anything. A trip to the grocery store wiped me out. Work? Ha, ha. I felt exactly as you're describing.

I've also had to get more help with the kids over time. I tried to work around them, but honestly it's difficult to do. It caused stress between DH and me and ended up with me impatient with my son. Like you, I would panic if he didn't want a nap, and it just made everyone miserable. Can you swing a few more hours of childcare every week? Four hours doesn't seem like enough.

It's us: DH , DS ; DD ; and me . Also there's the . And the 3 . I . Oh, and .
VisionaryMom is offline  
#3 of 5 Old 09-27-2007, 12:23 AM
socialtheorist's Avatar
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 1
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I too am working on a PhD and the first semester back (last spring) was stressful beyond belief. I know it doesn't help you with your immediate problems but, I just wanted you to know that it has gotten easier. This semester has been a new experience, now that DD is older, (10 months today,) she is more tolerant of me reading or working on the laptop while she plays on the floor nearby. There are some days I really just phone it in for my students because DD wouldn't sleep and therefore no one slept the night before, but as far as I can tell the students don't notice. So hang tough and don't rule out next semester until the last minute. Getting things done, and getting a few minutes of grownup time will get easier. Your relationship with your DD will change as she gets older and more independent.
socialtheorist is offline  
#4 of 5 Old 09-27-2007, 12:30 AM
Lingmom's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 666
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It sounds like if you want to stay in, you'll definitely need some childcare. It doesn't have to be a center if you're not up for that. You might find a person who can care for your baby while you study at home. If you have her also doing light housekeeping when the baby is sleeping, you might feel a whole lot less stressed.

If you want to take the semester off, it makes sense too. Your baby is still very little and you're probably still in that fog that parents of babies are in.

Good luck!
Lingmom is offline  
#5 of 5 Old 09-27-2007, 12:48 AM
lolar2's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 6,403
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I couldn't do it without childcare at least 20 hours a week.
lolar2 is offline  

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Online Users: 13,896

23 members and 13,873 guests
babydoulajo , BirthFree , Deborah , esg , henry le , JElaineB , karalynnskies , lisak1234 , Lovelyfreebird , Lucee , Michele123 , moominmamma , NaturallyKait , pgu2017 , philomom , RollerCoasterMama , scaramouche131 , SPrada , thefragile7393 , zebra15
Most users ever online was 449,755, 06-25-2014 at 12:21 PM.