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#1 of 10 Old 07-10-2008, 12:21 AM - Thread Starter
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so my boss emailed me encouraging me to go to this out of town conference for 3 days. i was like, hell no. dh thinks i should consider it if 1. the office will pay for me to come home nights (it's 2 hours away, so theoretically doable) or 2. the conference has childcare. i dunno. truthfully i want to get my lawyering done and screw the networking etc. to be home with my babe. i should add that it would be in sept. and will be very shortly after she will have started in a daycare ctr. (has been with nanny since apr.) and that she will be 12 or 13 mos. (not sure of the date) and that i intend to be pumping and nursing while at home with her including cosleeping and nightnursing.
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#2 of 10 Old 07-10-2008, 02:35 AM
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Me too I hate networking! Of course I never tell anyone at work that..
I would let it depend on how important the conference is, and what implications your participation or not might have. It also would depend on how comfortable I was explaining the reasons for declining.
If I could get out of it without too much trouble/consequences, I would. Maybe suggest a future conference that you would like to do instead, farther in the future and/or closer to home.
Now, if you feel like you have little choice, I would prefer the option of a babysitter to driving back and forth. That would make for very long days (unless you already do that anyways), and pumping at a conference is even harder than at the office, especially if you don't have a hotel room. Maybe you can bring your own babysitter, might be easier on your little one, and make it easier to nurse during breaks etc.
On the other hand, I don't see why your company wouldn't pay for you driving back and forth, it's probably cheaper than a hotel.
Good luck with your decision!

mama to my August boys ('03 & '06)
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#3 of 10 Old 07-10-2008, 10:03 AM
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At 12-13 months, we had figured out our nursing routine well, and DD was still pretty easy-going about being with dad or grandma or whoever. So personally, I would have done it. I hate that much pumping, and you end up being uncomfortable the entire time, but if it's really a good opportunity wrt work/professional development, I'd do it.

I have also been known to turn these things into mini family vacations: DH and baby come along! Since hotel and travel is already paid for, it just costs DH the vacation days.

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#4 of 10 Old 07-10-2008, 12:47 PM
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I think that the commute (if your employer paid for you to be home each evening) would be hellish. A mother's helper (or relative) on the the other hand, could look after the babe while you are in meetings. When I had meetings to attend when dd was that age, she just came with me, along with dh. But it wasn't a super-formal situation and my duties were light. I didn't have to be "on" all the time, in other words.

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#5 of 10 Old 07-10-2008, 12:49 PM
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I went on one work trip when DS was about 16 months and still nursing/co-sleeping -- DH just came along and we made a family trip out of it.

I didn't leave DS overnight until he was weaned and almost 3, so I can understand your reluctance!
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#6 of 10 Old 07-10-2008, 02:23 PM
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I would first decide how important it is for you to go overall. Then if you decide to go, consider your options. Bringing dh along or hiring a nanny for the time you spend at the conference would probably be the easiest. Then you could meet and bf as needed rather than pump. I've done both with good success. You'd have to take her out of daycare for a couple of days, which might be hard for her adjustment, but I think it would be worth it overall.
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#7 of 10 Old 07-10-2008, 03:19 PM
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I enjoyed the few business trips I took when my DD was a baby. Usually once a year. It gave me time to get caught up on my sleep, enjoy nice long dinners, get out of the office and the daily grind. I won't say it was a vacation but I did come home feeling renewed.

I stopped pumping after 1 year though. I think I took a few trips while I was pumping. That was more of a drag.

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#8 of 10 Old 07-10-2008, 03:25 PM
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I've had to go on a few out of town business trips and we've worked out a system. Dh is a SAHD, so we have flexibility with child care, but I HATE pumping and dd is 10 months and still bf. The times that I've traveled, we all go and dh keeps the baby and I bf in the morning, come back at lunch, and then again at dinner. Very seldom are people going to question you leaving at meal times (one less person they have to pay for and they are generally the "social" times anyway). I do understand your reluctance to go. I've considerably lessened my travel since dd was born although I can't avoid it altogether.

Traveling together helps b/c the car trip is more managable (one of us sits in the back to "entertain"), we can still bf and co-sleep and she doesn't get off of her schedule (too much).

Good luck!
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#9 of 10 Old 07-10-2008, 09:20 PM
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I hate networking too. Bleah.

I personally don't think the 2 hour commute is that terrible, depending on how long the days are. Can you chop an hour or so off the conference each day to go back and forth? When I've had stuff to do for work about 2.5 hours from home I've come and gone in a day when I knew it would be a reasonably short day.
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#10 of 10 Old 07-11-2008, 06:51 PM
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I think a lot of it depends on how flexible your kid/DH/job can be, and what your corporate culture is like. If you have a job where travel, conferences and professional development stuff is really seen as important, continuing to turn down conferences and trips may end up having a big negative impact on your career -- yeah, that might not be important if you're not so in to progressing, but it puts you front and center the next time your company is looking at layoffs or downsizing. Which isn't good. So it might be a good idea to bite the bullet and go, since two days is short for professional development stuff, and 2 hours away isn't that bad.

On the other hand, I've both taken a kidlet to a conference with a sitter and broght the whole family as a family vacation. Both are doable, but involve their own stresses -- a business hotel room is just not an easy place to entertain a mobile toddler, or a baby, and you need absolutely rock-solid daycare during a conference. Still, if you really don't think you can handle being away from your little one for two days, those are options as well.

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