Daycare and Naps - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 07-12-2008, 10:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Starting next month ds will be going to daycare instead of staying home with dh. An opprotunity has opened up allowing me to send him with no out of pocket cost and now dh will be working days too and I won't be alone at night with the kids DD will be in preschool during my work hours. I'm new to the WOH scene and I just don't know how ds is going to function in this environment. He always nurses down for naps with me or dh wears him down. We do family bed - I've never owned a crib. The daycare has a crib for each child and I'm concerned that ds won't be able to go to sleep and he's very fussy when he wants to sleep. I've never been successful at rocking him to sleep and then putting him down. It has always been lay down and nurse or wear him while he sleeps. Have any of you been through this?
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#2 of 7 Old 07-13-2008, 12:48 AM
 
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I had a variation of this problem when my DS started daycare at 5 months and then again when he started a new daycare at 9 months.

Licensing here requires that every child under 12 months must have a crib that's just for them. In the first center, most of the babies didn't sleep in the cribs -- they sat their empty and the teachers put the babies in infant seats and rocked and sang to them while they fell asleep. My son had a medical issues and an apnea monitor and needed to sleep flat so that wouldn't work for him, so instead they'd rock him in their arms and then transition him to the crib.

At 9 months DS had surgery and afterwards he was super clingy -- he literally would not sleep unless I was touching him -- I couldn't sneak out to the bathroom, or stretch or anything without waking him up. He also screamed at the sight of the crib. This calmed down a little before he started, but still combined with starting a new daycare it made me very nervous, but he did fine. At the end of the first day the teacher told me "by the way, he doesn't like the crib, so I borrowed a cot for him from the toddlers. Licensing says we have to have a crib, not use it. So they stored the cot under the crib and pulled it out at nap time, and a teacher would sit beside him and rub his back until he was out. If that didn't work they'd take a walk with the stroller and he'd conk out there and then they'd transfer him.

DS attended a total of 4 places before he gave up napping at 5. In none of them was he ever left to cry to sleep, and except for a few days when he was 4 they always got him to fall asleep. I think 3 things played a role -- one is that daycare was fun stimulating and exhausting so he was ready for the nap. The other is that it's hard to feel "abandoned in the hustle and bustle of the infant room, even if the teacher has to stop rubbing for a few minutes she's always close by talking softly to another child so it felt pretty safe, and finally I think that even very young kid know when something's a possibility and will cry for it. So while DS would have cried if I was there but asked someone else to put him down, he didn't cry if I wasn't there at all -- just like as a toddler if he knew there were cookies in the cupboard he'd whine for them, but if he knew that there weren't any he'd go on his merry way and not waste the energy to ask.
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#3 of 7 Old 07-13-2008, 04:06 PM
 
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I have not been in your situation, but I wanted to let you know that it's likely that ds will not behave in the same way at the daycare as he does with you or dh. (For example, ds - 2 yo - throws a massive fit at naptime with me, but at daycare he goes right to his mat and lies down. ) The women at the daycare may be able to rock him and put him down without any trouble at all! Or, they may also likely carry him around while he finally nods off and put him down. The swing was always another successful method at my son's daycare when he was in the infant room. Those ladies at daycare have more tricks, I tell you! They have seen all types of babies so they are well equipped.

The women at my ds' daycare never let the babies cio. You want to be explicit with what you don't want - there may be daycares where the caregivers do let babies cio. Talking about topics like this will help you know whether the center is going to be a good fit.

Good luck! Babies are so resilient; it sounds like it will be a good situation for your family.
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#4 of 7 Old 07-14-2008, 11:12 PM
 
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I didn't notice how old your lo is, but at DD's daycare, which was a center, there was no cry it out. They were very good at getting the babies to sleep in the baby room--you can't do CIO or they'd all be keeping each other awake! Talk to the woman there about how she handles it. At ours there was a lot of rocking.

Once DD became a toddler they did naps on cots, and then it becomes more like a group activity--the teacher would turn the lights low, put on lullabye cd, and walk in a circle patting their backs. She said they would all go out pretty easily.
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#5 of 7 Old 07-15-2008, 01:26 PM
 
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I have a similar situation. I cosleep and nurse DD to sleep at home. Never really used a crib. I could probably count on one hand the number of times she has fallen asleep without nursing. I was so worried about her falling asleep at daycare when she first started. But she adjusted with the help of the daycare staff. I think that eventually your DS will develop his own nap routine for daycare. It's different at daycare than at home and I think the LOs know that. At daycare, even though she will be two next month, my DD still sleeps in a swing. Luckily she is still within the weight limit! They never had any luck with getting her into the crib but would never let her cry either, so hence the swing solution. Next my DCP is going to try to get her into a sleeping bag for naps.

So I think it will be okay, work with your DCP to find a solution that works for everyone.

Sarah, with 3.5 yo DD Charlotte + brand new baby Eleanor Jane April 28, 2010
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#6 of 7 Old 07-15-2008, 01:55 PM
 
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When dd first started daycare, she wouldn't sleep in the crib we provided. Dcp didn't push it; didn't let her CIO. So I'd pick her up and find her asleep in a swing, or else she'd crash on the way home. She adjusted to napping at daycare in tandem with adjusting to daycare.

ETA I'd suggest sending a "lovey" - even if your child doesn't have an attachment to a particular stuffed animal (or whatever), he might like it in the transition.

Mom of two girls.
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#7 of 7 Old 07-15-2008, 03:37 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mean_jeannie View Post
I have not been in your situation, but I wanted to let you know that it's likely that ds will not behave in the same way at the daycare as he does with you or dh. (For example, ds - 2 yo - throws a massive fit at naptime with me, but at daycare he goes right to his mat and lies down. ) The women at the daycare may be able to rock him and put him down without any trouble at all! Or, they may also likely carry him around while he finally nods off and put him down. Those ladies at daycare have more tricks, I tell you! They have seen all types of babies so they are well equipped.
I couldn't have said it better myself!

As an infant, ds had no problem going to sleep on his own at daycare. (At home I nursed him to sleep)

As a toddler, no naps at home for love or money. No matter how hard I tried, no luck - he was having none of it.

My jaw dropped at daycare when I learned he not only still naps, he actually is the first to the "cubbies" to get his blanket and pillow.

Mom to DS, born fall 05 after ,,, wife/best friend to DH We have
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