Okay, maybe I'm a bad searcher, but I've come to believe that nothing is truly ideal, kwim? In terms of daycare anyway...obviously you kind of do kwim, since you're moving on from the nanny (btdt too). We've done in home, nanny and center based. We currently send our children to a center based daycare run by a church. It is not our church, it is not our religion, although we do believe in Christ and so does this church, so it's not as if our senses are being offended daily. This is our first experience with religion in the daycare, but I'm telling you, these women are mild--SO mild--it's wonderful, such gentle discipliners with our wild children...we send the food, breakfast and lunch, so no trouble there either. I sent cloth diapers with dd there, again no issues (they balked when I first brought it up but as soon as they saw the actual dipes, all fears were laid to rest), they seem to focus primarily on books and playing, both outside and in...I'm sure there are bells and whistles things, but I've never really seen them...they do have computers, but seeing as I'm currently on one, I obviously see the advantages
. I've also come to believe that a little t.v. or a video now and then is okay while at daycare. They have my kids 9 hours each day, and if they pop in a 30 minute thing once or twice a week, my kids are certainly still going to grow...so...what is my point?
My point is that I agree that the twitchiness is yucky and I'd also worry about breaking the spirit...and maybe I'm over-generalizing, but the gd thing may run in churches, kwim? I suppose it can go either way, but I totally know what you mean about big corporate center based daycares---my kids have been there too, and they also have their advantages---so I now gravitate toward smaller. But maybe if it's not a complete difference between what you believe and what they believe, you might check into the church run daycares in your area? I'm still shocked that we found what we were looking for, but maybe you can too? Good luck! It stinks!