Homemade gifts and people who don't like receiving them - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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Old 12-18-2008, 10:19 PM
 
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I wouldn't waste those lovely handmade gifts on her grandkids. Buy them dollar store junk and save the good stuff for someone who appreciates it.

Goodness, she's rude : We cherish handmade gifts here; my girls are thrilled with the gifts they've made for family members- more than the ones I took them to buy to give away.

I'm sorry your efforts weren't appreciated

Half-marathon running Mommy to 3 spunky girls and 1 sweet boy. Spending my days and nights where my kids need me most- at home with them!!

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Old 12-18-2008, 10:30 PM
 
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I can't believe she said that to you.
Your homemade gifts sound lovely. Why doesn't she think they are good enough for her grandchildren? Are they Royalty or something?
I would just give them the handmade gifts and remember for next year. Show her what unhappy really means.
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Old 12-18-2008, 10:39 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KayleeZoo View Post
I wouldn't waste those lovely handmade gifts on her grandkids. Buy them dollar store junk and save the good stuff for someone who appreciates it.

Goodness, she's rude : We cherish handmade gifts here; my girls are thrilled with the gifts they've made for family members- more than the ones I took them to buy to give away.

I'm sorry your efforts weren't appreciated
yeah she is a UA violation but why should the grandkids pay? It's not their fault.
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Old 12-18-2008, 11:46 PM
 
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That was really mean and insensitive what your SIL said. I know DD would *love* the handpainted rock in a bag. Rocks are one of her favorite things, along with anything else she can find in the yard. Having a special one with a bag to go with would thrill her. (and I think you gave me an idea for a gift )

This kind of reminds me of a gift exchange I went to at a friend's church. They were having a gift exchange, the limit was $5. I bought a spoon or spatula (can't remember), an oven mitt, a really pretty glass jar, and made a "Holiday Muffin" mix, so like a baking gift bag. It was a ladies' party, so I wasn't worried too much about it being an unwelcome gift. A woman in her 20s got it, and she *openly* said what a horrible gift it was. We were in the fellowship hall, and *everyone* heard her, and told her how sorry they were that she got "stuck" with such a bad gift. My friend, who invited me, was family with the woman (it was basically a family church, everyone save for 2 or 3 people were related) took me over to the woman who received the gift I had taken, and said "Oh, Beth, you like to cook, and she hates her present. She loves your present, so it's perfect for you two to change gifts." Granted it wasn't *completely* homemade, but I was only made aware of the party 1 1/2 hours beforehand, so to go out and buy the things I needed, find a nice, fitting mix recipe, make it, get DD ready, and bake a batch before I decided it would be a good recipe, I worked really hard and had thought really hard to decide what would be a "good" gift, just to have everyone openly criticize it and say how horrible it was. As soon as I found DD and got everything together, I left. I cried the whole way home, and it still upsets me how rude they were.

OP, I don't think you should feel the need to add on to the gifts you have already made. Gifts are just that, gifts. They are not obligatory, no one has the right to tell you what you *have* to give them/their families, and if they don't like it, tough cookies. Gifts come from the heart, be they homemade, store bought, or otherwise. I would give the children the homemade gifts, and either find another use for the gifts you bought, or return them. You shouldn't feel obligated to give them *anything.* That takes away from the meaning of giving gifts, IMHO.

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Old 12-19-2008, 12:39 AM
 
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bmcneal, how very Christian of them all. :

We used to make homemade gifts for MIL and FIL. But they left the beautiful bookmarks behind at our house. They openly were disappointed at the homemade puzzles.

So I said f them, and now they are dh's gifting problem. I certainly won't suggest to my kids that they ever make anything for them again. Who are these people, who don't want a cute crafty thing from their grandkids?!

DD1 = 8 yrs *** DD2 = 6 yrs
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Old 12-19-2008, 01:12 AM
 
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I don't agree with NOT giving the kids anything.....they kids didn't tell you they never liked the gifts...the SIL did.

I'd give the SIL a swift kick in the arse and keep making the homemade gifts. I bet the kids will LOVE them!!!!
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Old 12-19-2008, 01:28 AM
 
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I can not ever even imagine even hinting that I was disappointed in a gift someone gave me (or my kids) What in the world did this woman's parents teach her? When someone gives you a gift you smile and say thank you. If it's homemade then you thank them twice, once for the gift, and once for taking extra time and making it. To ever openly say your were disapointed in a gift is beyond rude and in the worst possible taste, plus it is amazingly selfish.::

All that said, don't punish the kids because the grandma is a UAV. Hopefully they will enjoy your lovely gifts. Wouldn't it be funny if they absolutely loved the gifts your SIL was so rude as to tell you were unwelcome?

Kristy, wife to Josh proud mama to Katie: since 3/08 and Emma since 8/12.

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Old 12-19-2008, 01:29 AM
 
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Okay, I must admit when I read the thread title, my first thought was, "Well, it depends on the homemade gifts." But, seriously, those sound like lovely, thoughtful gifts.

I totally understand the idea of wanting to get something more. DH and I had a similar discussion this year, only it was my sister who had the issue. We (my sister and I) worked it out, though, and I will be crocheting her girls some small items, but she and BIL aren't getting anything--they don't know they're missing out on a great gift card that DH and I will be using now!

Anyway, as PPs have said, pay attention to what the kids say, not their grandmother. If they like what you're giving them, keep it up. If they aren't liking the gifts, by all means make changes next year. Meanwhile, don't worry about DH and his sister--your choosing or not choosing to buy additional gift items didn't make it worse, they chose to make it worse.

Amy loving DH 5/04, raising DD 2/05 and DS 11/09; missing my mom& my babies 6/07, 12/07; and on the side
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Old 12-19-2008, 01:35 AM
 
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bmcneal: That's vile. They had to know that the person giving the gift was in the group. I'm far from being up on or into etiquette or manners, but that's just beyond rude. Your gift was way better than I would expect from one of those "$5 and under" exchanges (probably some cheap "novelty" item). People need to think before they speak.

You know...I wouldn't necessarily like all homemade gifts, just as I don't necessarily like all storebought gifts. I'd still appreciate the thought and effort (be it making it or shopping for it) that went into getting it for me. I certainly don't like or dislike gifts based on where they were made, or by whom!

Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
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Old 12-19-2008, 01:58 AM
 
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Your handmade gifts sound perfectly lovely and appropriate. Of course it is your choice, but I personally would not give the store bought gifts. It makes it at least appear that SIL has power over you that she has no right to yield. Just something to consider.

So sorry you were suggested to rudeness!

Heather, Mama to DS(10) DD(7.5),DD(6)
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Old 12-19-2008, 02:27 AM
 
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Personally, homemade gifts mean 1,000 times more to me than the most expensive store-bought gifts. Especially cards. The concept of a pre-written greeting card is very bizarre and I hate buying them and getting them.

I wish I received more homemade gifts, and I wish I had the time to make my own. Your gifts sound wonderful, and I am so sorry you were treated so rudely.
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Old 12-19-2008, 02:46 AM
 
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your gifts sound great but tbh i don't think it matters what kind of homemade gifts they are... either way it is beyond rude and incredibly ungrateful. dp's aunt goes to the dollar store and buys him toys.. yep she buys this grown man (and my fil) toys from the dollar store.. and we have never said anything other then thank you.
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Old 12-19-2008, 02:51 AM
 
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I would be so incredibly grateful if someone were to make homemade gifts for my children. I can't believe the rudeness and lack of vision of the superiority of your gifts (for a number of reason) over store bought. I'm sorry that happened to you.

~Tracy

Rockin' mama to Allison (9), Asher (5) and Alethea (3), head over heels in love with my sexy husband, Tony.

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