Sending unwrapped gifts - would this bother you? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 85 Old 12-23-2008, 11:20 PM
 
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I like getting my presents early! I almost always get dh to give me my gifts early.

Mom of a 7 yr old, 4 yr old, and 1 yr old. Wow. How did that happen?
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#62 of 85 Old 12-23-2008, 11:43 PM
 
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It would not bother me at all! They cared enough to not only get you and dd presents, they also got you what you put on your wish lists! So who cares about the wrapping, it's just decorative fakeness anyway!

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#63 of 85 Old 12-24-2008, 12:38 AM
 
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heh, since:

* my relatives only just got the presents we made for them LAST year (completely failed to mail it last year, total brain fart, but reused the gifts for this year!)

* I still haven't gotten gifts for my two aunts, and there is no way in hell they will get them before new year's let alone xmas

* I have at least three gifts to get tomorrow and wrap - when, exactly this will occur, I am unsure, what with the holiday party and the Christmas eve service at the church. I am starting to foresee more amazon gift vouchers...

* We have a holiday party to prepare and throw tomorrow and have done NO prep for.

* my ILs (MIL, FIL, BIL, SIL) have just PILED on the gifts for us and the kids and our gifts we sent (the aforementioned gifts made/purchased last year) were pretty paltry in comparison.

* DH and I slammed with work (we run a company that went from 1 employee plus the two of us to 7 plus the two of us in one year). We have been working pretty much every weekend/evenings and are totally burnt out.

* and we have not even started with the holiday cards.

Frankly, if anyone on our gift list gots an unwrapped - but wanted - gift from us actually before xmas day - wow, I would be so amazingly proud of myself...

I guess what I am trying to say is that it may not be about you. Please pity the christmas-celebration challenged in our world - we have good intentions, but poor execution...

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#64 of 85 Old 12-24-2008, 12:46 AM
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Disappointed because the Christmas gifts people sent you were not wrapped and now you know what you are getting instead of being surprised by wrapped presents?

Yeah. I think we will climb out of this recession just fine.

OP asked for thoughts. Mine are that in the scheme of things, that has to be bottom of a long list of things to get peeved over imo.
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#65 of 85 Old 12-24-2008, 11:25 PM
 
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I am also Dar's relative : I would not pay for wrapping, nor would I ship twice. I think shipping twice is very wasteful, think about the gas involved, etc.

So yeah, I have never had anything gift wrapped that I mailed someone. I didn't even think about it, actually. :

ETA: Not that I think you are wrong to be irritated, because we are all entitled to our own things I get irritated by a lot of things other people probably wouldn't even think about We are all different I like the suggestion of having a friend check out the boxes first

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#66 of 85 Old 12-25-2008, 12:12 AM
 
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I would be truly greatful that people don't giftwrap stuff, especially stuff that's coming in a box anyway.
IMO, giftwrapping is a huge waste of paper and resources.

if the element of surprise is what you want, then by all means, be disappointed, but I wouldn't get into a tizz about it.

I'm pretty sure Amazon lets you put a note on the shipping address if something is a gift. and as a PP mentioned, you could check the order numbers.
I don't see why it's a big deal.

I did wrap dd's present this year, but I used some sparkly material from my sewing bag, rather than paper. totally re-useable

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#67 of 85 Old 12-25-2008, 01:53 AM - Thread Starter
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I guess, as I think about it more, the "experience" of Christmas is what really matters to me... and it seems like my family is just more focused on the "stuff" part. So, they got me stuff and feel like they did their bit, and I'm disappointed because I wanted the experience... the surprise, the wrappings, and really, a more personal gift would have felt nice. Really, a nicely wrapped bar of chocolate, or framed photo, or even a personal letter... those would have felt better to me. It's not really about the stuff for me - I can buy my own Arabic grammar books and loaf pans - so just getting the stuff is disappointing.

When Rain and I shop for them, we get more personal gifts... sometimes we make gifts, or do other things to make them personal. For example, I got my dad a digital photo frame for Christmas, but I opened it and preloaded it with some pictures of the family, because I know he's not very tech savvy... and then I wrote him a note and explained to him how to get it to work (it was all set, so he just had to turn it on and click Favorites).

My dad has always said that I get good gifts, and this year, when he got the box, he wrote about how nice all the presents looked under their tree, and how he wished my mom was here to see... and then he said "Maybe she is." So I do think he enjoys the experience of Christmas, too... but my mom was the one who created it, not him...

Honestly, the environmental impact just doesn't seem that big to me... it's the equivalent of one Sunday paper, maybe, and we recycle the wrap just like we recycle the paper. The cost is negligible, since we buy after the holidays - again, I probably wrapped all of our gifts for the cost of a Sunday paper. And I get much more joy out of wrapped gifts and the experience of unwrapping them than I do out of the paper... and to me, that's what these decisions are about.

Anyway, clearly people feel differently about the meaning of Christmas gifts, and that's okay. I will really enjoy opening the gift Rain got for me, and watching her open the ones I got for her... and I am so grateful that we're on the same page about the holidays. And I understand now that my family doesn't mean to seem uncaring - that they just have different ideas about how to show that.

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#68 of 85 Old 12-25-2008, 02:02 AM
 
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but you're not talking about wrapping paper the cost of a sunday paper, you're talking about getting amazon gift wrapping which is about 5 bucks a gift.

and I think the environmental impact is something we should all be considering. most people don't realise that "recycling" is NOT truly recycling. it's downcycling. paper of grade A gets recycled into paper of grade B or C. It may not be a huge impact, but wrapping paper is an impact.
and if what you want is the surprise and the effort/ thought put into it, then why not wrap presents in last week's sunday paper?

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#69 of 85 Old 12-25-2008, 03:44 AM - Thread Starter
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Well... my family is well-off enough that I don't think cost was the issue for them - my dad owns three houses, and my brother is doing quite well also. They could have wrapped them themselves, too, especially if they'd bought things locally instead of at amazon. Or, if it was a financial issue, they could have alerted us that the gifts were coming unwrapped and asked us to do the wrapping for each other, which would would happily have done (and which I wound up doing for Rain anyway).

My view of being environmentally conscious means being mindful, and using resources in ways that bring us joy. We have a tree (fake) up with lights, too, and that's using electricity that we don't really need to be using... but it makes us happy. Christmas wrap is the same way, for me... and I suppose the electricity we all use to be here on this board seems worthwhile for all of us, although I make the choice to use a laptop, which uses less electricity than a desktop.

OTOH, paper napkins don't do a thing for me, so we use cloth, and I don't mind walking rather than driving to school... it gives me forty minutes a day of exercise and fresh air. I use compact flourescent lightbulbs and keep the heat very low, and recycle everything I can, and eat low on the food chain, and bring my own refillable drink cups and reusable bags everywhere, and use cloth pads... because for those things, the benefits outweigh the costs for me. I think we all make these decisions based on a cost/benefit analysis, and for me wrapped gifts are worth the resurces they use... YMMV.

I've actually wrapped things in the funnies before, but we usually read the news online rather than getting a paper (saving more paper ) so we don't have them around right now.

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#70 of 85 Old 12-25-2008, 04:11 AM
 
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At first I was going to say that (personally) I don't understand why adults care about being "surprised" at Christmas. But that's just me...I've never really understood that. Christmas seems about kids and I can't imagine caring about being surprised myself.

But now I understand that you really are saying you want the Christmas experience and even a nicely wrapped chocolate would make you happy. You want them to put a little thought into a gift. That I understand. Hopefully you get that part from Rain.:
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#71 of 85 Old 12-25-2008, 02:19 PM
 
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I just put Amazon boxes under the tree. If they're also wrapped, then we open the box and unwrap at Christmas. But I have yet to get one that's wrapped.
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#72 of 85 Old 12-25-2008, 03:20 PM
 
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Next year. No paper. I swear I am over paper.

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#73 of 85 Old 01-02-2009, 10:21 PM
 
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I know this is a little late, but the thread has been nagging at me and since it was too late for this past Christmas anyway, I wanted to respond.

Since this bothers you, is it possible to have your daughter wrap your gifts and for you to wrap her gifts? Meaning, request your family order the items separately and then tell you which tracking number corresponds to which person's gifts? It seems it would solve the problem without too much hassle.

I would much(!) rather someone ask me to do that than to learn my family member was annoyed I didn't wrap their items.
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#74 of 85 Old 01-02-2009, 11:08 PM
 
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I don't care if they're wrapped or not.

We have a rule in our house that Mom is the only person who opens packages in the months of November and December. So far it's worked for us.

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#75 of 85 Old 01-02-2009, 11:15 PM
 
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I wouldn't be (and haven't been) too put off by this, Just think if everyone got one unwrapped present the amount of waste that would be reduced during the holidays. Think of it that way!

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#76 of 85 Old 01-03-2009, 12:15 AM
 
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I couldn't care less if the gifts are wrapped. It's the thought that counts, and gift wrap is wasteful. I wrap for others, because it's expected, but I reuse paper or bags whenever possible. Heck, my dad bought a few books for me off of my amazon wishlist, and he got used copies instead of new. I don't care. I'm happy to have the books to read. I think that it was awesome that he bought them for me. I'd rather have the 3 unwrapped, used books that I got, than 1 wrapped, new book.
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#77 of 85 Old 01-03-2009, 12:25 AM
 
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I've only read a few posts.

As much as I love unwrapping gifts, it wouldn't bother me that much that they weren't wrapped. However, I would appreciate some kind of heads up from the senders in that case. I prefer to be surprised, so it would be disappointing to know what my gifts were ahead of time...

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#78 of 85 Old 01-03-2009, 01:43 AM
 
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Isn't this kind of like getting an u/s and finding out what kind of baby you are having before the birth? It's still a surprise!

I'm sorry that the OP is feeling sad about the way she got her gift.

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#79 of 85 Old 01-03-2009, 01:51 PM
 
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I am a strange one, but if I get a wrapped package for anyone other than me, I unwrap it just to make sure it is acceptable. My relatives are not very good at getting appropriate things, so I would rather know and ruin the surprise than to have it unwrapped on Christmas day and have disappointment because it is useless, wrong size, horrible, or some other unacceptable thing.

And as for wrapping, we reuse a lot of it until it is unuseable.

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#80 of 85 Old 01-03-2009, 02:02 PM
 
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I try to put all of our gifts in bags that can be reused anytime-either brown handled with colored tissue paper inside or a colored bag.

On our trip to my inlaws for Christmas, they put everything in bags and because we had to pack everything for the full days travel (by plane, then by car) we used whatever bags SIL had on hand and used a little paper which most of them saved. This was also the first year that anyone here in the states didn't wrap and it was great.

We've tried to make the focus the joy of getting the gift, not surprise, etc. DS got a gift from "Santa" that was unwrapped and that he personally picked out at the store but forgot about!
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#81 of 85 Old 01-03-2009, 03:06 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kidzaplenty View Post
I am a strange one, but if I get a wrapped package for anyone other than me, I unwrap it just to make sure it is acceptable. My relatives are not very good at getting appropriate things, so I would rather know and ruin the surprise than to have it unwrapped on Christmas day and have disappointment because it is useless, wrong size, horrible, or some other unacceptable thing.
That's why we have the rule that Mom is the only one who opens packages in November and December in our house. So no surprises are spoiled and to double check on a certain relative who sends [email protected] to dsd that isn't allowed in our house.

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#82 of 85 Old 01-03-2009, 03:57 PM
 
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I was 100% on your side from just reading the thread title...until I saw that the presents were items ordered online. I completely agree that it sucks not to have wrapped presents to open on Christmas morning, but I wouldn't pay that outrageous fee to have things wrapped. Maybe for one item, but definitely not for several. What the sender could have done is let you know items were coming and that you should not open said items for said store.

And just because the items were ordered online, doesn't mean thought wasn't put into them.

Why I was originally on your side-DS bday is the beginning of December. Package arrives on his bday from MIL-who paid an outrageous amount to ship it because she waited until two days before his bday to send it. Not a thing was wrapped. Just shoved into the envelope. Hello? She was already in Walmart, she couldn't have taken a trip by the wrapping paper while she was rushing to pick up random things (yes, I do know that they were just randomly chosen)?

I do think that you should just be happy that your family thought enough to buy you presents-even if they were from your wish list. And would you have truly been 100% happy with just a candy bar?

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#83 of 85 Old 01-03-2009, 04:21 PM
 
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I wouldn't even think about it. I would just be happy they sent me gifts, and even what I wanted.

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#84 of 85 Old 01-03-2009, 09:13 PM - Thread Starter
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Just to follow up, since the thread has been revived... I got the most amazing Christmas stocking this year, from my daughter. It was a *complete* surprise, since she'd gotten me a "regular" present, wrapped it, and set it under the tree. It was full of all sorts of little things that I like but didn't ask for, like yummy chocolate squares and fuzzy socks and foofy hair stuff... all wrapped, even. I was so thrilled... that really was the best thing I've gotten for Christmas since, well, who knows when. So, that made up for not being surprised for my other gifts, and of course I also really enjoyed watching her open her presents and seeing her joy and surprise (I actually managed to find her a present that combined two of her favorite things - Lolita and panda bears!).

I think that next year, rather than making an amazon list I'll just send them a more general list of things I enjoy (dark chocolate, dark coffee, goats' milk soap, etc), and I'll also ask that they address unwrapped gifts for me with my middle name included and unwrapped gifts to Rain with her middle name included, so we can open each other's gifts and wrap them if needed.

So, all's good now.

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#85 of 85 Old 01-03-2009, 09:20 PM
 
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My family has always done wishlists. Just because we'd rather get something we want than something we wouldn't use. In my family, wishlists are basically an exchange of book lists, lol.

If I order something online - I do the same thing: send it straight from the store to the person, unwrapped.

I usually warn them, though - i.e., you're getting something from amazon, it should arrive on __________.

When I order things to my home, I can usually distinguish which package is mine by the tracking number.

If I send something from home, I DO wrap it. I just don't like paying an extra $3.00 online for wrapping that is 1. not environmentally friendly, 2. totally overpriced, 3. not as nice as I could do it. So, I skip it.

However, this is typical in my family ... so obviously I'm biased as I can't remember a time when we did things differently.

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