Should the man pay on the first date? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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Old 02-07-2009, 04:00 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Ironica View Post
Actually, quite a number of women on this thread have posted from their own experience, including me. Yeah, I don't like the notion that men should ask and pay "because they are men." That doesn't sit well with me. But, my experience is that, if I did the asking (which meant also the paying, because I think that one follows the other), I did not get treated properly in the relationship. I don't see why I should put up with a partner who is emotionally uninvested in the relationship, just so I can reject a tradition that someone else tells me is sexist.

Sexism is making decisions based on chromosomes instead of people. Rotely rejecting a sexually asymmetrical tradition can also be a form of sexism.
this has been my experience too and i agree with you 100%.
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Old 02-07-2009, 09:36 AM
 
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I have about six different opinions on this. On the one hand, the man paying seems rather outdated now that women tend to earn their own money. On the other, simply because it's outdated and thus old-fashioned I kinda like it. On the other other hand, I get nervous and cranky when people want to pay for me, even if I'm broke, so I'm usually more comfortable paying for myself (although probably not for them, because I usually am broke!).

I'd have been worried about DH being able to provide for me as a future SAHM if he hadn't been able to afford our dates, but that's not to say I let him pay every time. Given that I was working my way through Uni on two part-time jobs and he had a full-time job, though, I think letting him pay most of the time was inevitable! I honestly can't remember who paid on our first date, because most of our initial dates were talking on a park bench. It was ages before we actually Went Out somewhere.

Anyway. 'Should' a man pay on the first date? No, not at all. Do I have faintly fuzzy-wuzzy feelings about a man paying on the first date? Yep. But I've only ever had one first date, so call me a noob.

If decomposition persists please see your necromancer.

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Old 02-07-2009, 04:19 PM
 
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When I dated, I always left the tip or bought the popcorn at the movies. It seemed to me the polite thing to do. If I bought the dinner or the movie tickets, the men I was with left the tip or bought the popcorn. My first date with my husband was a lunch date. I offered to pay for lunch, and he let me. I had no problem with this. My friends were appalled that I paid on a first date, but who cares, really? That $14 bought me a wonderful, loving relationship and 2 fabulous children. What if I had crossed him off the list because of some arbitrary dating "rule"?
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Old 02-07-2009, 05:16 PM
 
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The person who asks, pays. The person who doesn't, puts out.
This was my : for the day!

~Shannon~ Proud Mama of 3 girls, ages 7,4, and 2.
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Old 02-07-2009, 05:55 PM
 
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The person who asks, pays. The person who doesn't, puts out.

Vanessa belly.gif, wife to Kev , mama to Byron (5) wild.gif and Billie (2) and  due in June
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