|View Poll Results: would you go?|
|yes - it'your brother, etc.||62||63.92%|
|Voters: 97. You may not vote on this poll|
I need to decide if I am going to go to the church for the actual wedding, just myself & the newborn (the wedding is about 45 min or so from my house so not a big deal that way). I think I’ve made up my mind, but wondered what others would do & why.
I shouls also include the fact that my brother isn't the one who cares about the baby, nursing, etc. It's the BTB & the future MIL (& maybe others from the soon to be ILs, but don't know beyond those 2 people).
So, please share what you think you’d do if you were in my shoes.
I would go, but only because it is your brother. What would happen if you nursed where these people don't want you to nurse?
if i don't do that, i think i'll just tell them to bug off.
However, I skip all weddings. Including the ones in my family. Even close family. I didn't go to my mom's wedding when she re-married. I didn't go to my dad's wedding when he re-married. It was nothing personal - I loved both of their new partners. And I sent lots of warm, well wishes, took them out to dinner before to celebrate, etc.
I just dislike attending large group gatherings like weddings.
I don't personally think weddings are such a huge deal that you MUST be there. If you are not comfortable going, or don't want to go - then don't. If you are comfortable going - then go.
I'm an unintentional weasel feeder and I suck at proofreading.
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
Sometimes the greener grass is actually AstroTurf, a false promise and nothing more.
In my experience, weddings are pretty important and in the long run your brother will appreciate your effort. By skipping the reception you can minimize the stress on you & your family but still support your brother....
Editing b/c I was confused. I thought the only issue was attending the ceremony and the reception was off the table.
Whatever it is, I would go anywhere you and the baby have been invited and nurse however is easiest for you. I would be much more concerned about being prepared to leave quickly if the baby starts crying.
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Considering how you've been treated by these people since they announced their engagement, there's no way I'd be going out of my way to attend anything of theirs. Your brother is a self-centered abusive UAV, and his BTB (and her family) is just as bad. Personally I'd keep myself out of their orbit as much as possible, and that includes at this event.
If there wasn't all this history, I would say go and bring your baby. Everyone in the wedding party will be so busy no one will have the time to pay attention to what you are doing.
I read in your other thread that the Maid of Honor was not allowed to bring her newborn? That is some messed up thinking there.
Your future SIL is not handling this well. Your brother is letting her offend people.
I do not know what I would do. I might call my brother and ask him directly if he wanted me there.
Oh my God....women are the COWS of PEOPLE!! --Reese, Malcolm in the Middle
silly question: is your brother's daughter allowed at the wedding?
i would nurse my baby right before going in to the ceremony in hopes that would work out (but then, i've never been a great NIPer, so i would have done that anyway). then if your baby needs to nurse, i would do it. babies need to eat when they are hungry and not nursing your baby would be hugely disruptive to the ceremony. if that occurs, i wouldn't even say anything - it's not like they will ever know anyway.
I think you should DEFINITELY go, because you will regret it if you don't.
I don't feel an obligation to attending weddings. Even weddings of family members obviously. Weddings are over-rated and the waste and amount of money people spend on a "party" make me absolutely sick. I think it makes far more sense to spend that money on a down payment for a house than a big ole party.
That said.. I would not attend this wedding either. A wedding is generally a family event. If the entire family is not invited, including the children in the family, well then I feel I am not welcome either.
Here's the thing...if you go, you can always leave if need be, and it will probably work out fine. If you don't go, for the rest of his life your brother will have this THING with you- you didn't go to his wedding. It won't matter why or that it was his bride's fault. Don't let her and her family do that to your relationship with your brother. Even though he hasn't been fair either, he's your brother and chances are you're going to want to have some kind of relationship with him in the future. Not going to someone's wedding, especially such a close family member, sends a huge message. A "I'm done with you forever" kind of message. Unless you're prepared to send that kind of message, I would just suck it up and go.
SAHM to 6.5yo DS and 4yo DD. PCOS with two early m/cs. Married 8 yrs. Certified birth doula, writer, editor.
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