Well, I'm so not going to attempt shampoo-free at this point. I don't feel like I have a choice but to try and do what he wants me to. I am going to buy new pants that fit better tonight if I can. I am going to try to do my hair differently. I guess I'll put on some makeup. I will never feel the same about it there. He said I don't smell. I said "Well, NO, because I'm not dirty!" He said "well, it's not just me..." I said OK- I'll do what I can? One thing that bugged me was that he complained about a day a week or 2 ago when I came in looking bad because I was in bad pain because I had hurt my back- and he knew that I had hurt my back... and he said I looked like I rolled out of bed and I know for a fact that my clothes were ironed because my husband had to do it because I was in so much pain. I have spoken with one of my coworkers about this and others who see me on a regular basis and they don't get it. I know my coworker would tell me the truth- she is very blunt like that. I am considering talking to the other 2 about it because we work in relatively close contact and I'd like to explain to them (that it hurts, that they can tell me themselves, that I have a scalp condition? I don't know... That I am not going to cower and be ashamed that this happened?) ... I don't know.. It just sucks. I am clean. I can't always wash my hair everyday. Not only do I not always have the time, but it bothers my scalp. I just wish he would've said "You're a really good worker and I think we're doing really good on collections, but with this class you teach, what I'm looking for is your hair to be fixed extra because it's a really professional look we're trying to achieve." or... "I know you're busy at home with the baby, and you're doing really good, but...." You know, that would've softened the blow. Not "Your appearance for the last month or so, I mean- there have been times you've come in and it looks like you haven't washed your hair in days and it looks like you just rolled out of bed. I almost canceled your class [on the day I was in pain and almost didn't come in] because of it and, today is a good day, but last week, I should've had a camera and taken a picture."
I keep telling myself I am not my hair but somehow, my ego just feels so bruised. To think that someone else had told him this... I am just so busy at work and at home right now, I didn't need this. I admitted that life has been crazy and maybe I haven't been paying enough attn. to how I look when I leave for work. And then we went on business as usual, but, sometimes he can be such an a**hole in so many different ways. Like telling us it's hard to make payroll and then going to the bahamas, and waving your money around in our faces while we make crap, and nit-picking the numbers we bill out and, I guess i just feel underappreciated in general and am fed up. Granted, they've been good to me about scheduling and working from home, etc. but the pressure and.. ugh.
We looked at our budget and I have to keep working right now- at least until some of our bills are paid off, we close on our house and our house is fixed up. I don't think it's worth it for me to find another job because this one works with my daughter's schedule so well. I think I'm done ranting in a ridiculously long post, but I'd still love your thoughts, ideas and support. Thanks.
and what is UAV? I looked it up in the acronyms but I couldn't find it. I'm sure it means something that he certainly is! ;-)