Does anyone give Hostess gifts anymore? - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: Have you ever given a hostess gift?
I have given one recently 52 83.87%
I have never given one 4 6.45%
I used to give them, but think it is old fashioned now 0 0%
I wish I would GET hostess gifts 6 9.68%
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#1 of 26 Old 11-22-2009, 11:35 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Title pretty much says it all.
I made some quilted coasters for a hostess gift for a party we went to last night. My husband totally made fun of me because he had not heard of this before and he said no one would get it. I told him that HE might not get it and the husband might not get it, but I bet a million dollars the wife would.
The hostess was very excited and very gracious about them. I told her what my husband said the night before when I was making them and she said she totally got it and that I would probably get a Thank you note even. LOL
So I was just wondering if anyone else liked to give hostess gifts these days.

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#2 of 26 Old 11-22-2009, 11:37 AM
 
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Originally Posted by takebirthback View Post
Title pretty much says it all.
I made some quilted coasters for a hostess gift for a party we went to last night. My husband totally made fun of me because he had not heard of this before and he said no one would get it. I told him that HE might not get it and the husband might not get it, but I bet a million dollars the wife would.
The hostess was very excited and very gracious about them. I told her what my husband said the night before when I was making them and she said she totally got it and that I would probably get a Thank you note even. LOL
So I was just wondering if anyone else liked to give hostess gifts these days.


I give gifts to the host/hostess!

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#3 of 26 Old 11-22-2009, 11:42 AM
 
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I always do.

In fact I just made a huge batch of infused vodkas. I keep small decorative bottles on hand and often bring one with me if I know they imbibe.

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#4 of 26 Old 11-22-2009, 11:44 AM
 
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i do! i like thinking about something appropriate that the hostess would like. I don't really expect them, but I do usually get flowers, a bottle of wine, or, most recently, a Wilco documentary! (well-chosen, because i'm a fan)

they don't have to be expensive. just something small and thoughtful. i think it's a nice custom and it would be a shame if it died out.
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#5 of 26 Old 11-22-2009, 11:46 AM
 
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My standards are wine or chocolate.

I've received a lot of wine as gifts. Some chocolate, vodka, martini glasses, cocktail napkins, etc. Flowers are also often given but unless they are in a vase I have to stop, get a vase, arrange, etc in the middle of a party so I never bring flowers.
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#6 of 26 Old 11-22-2009, 12:15 PM
 
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Most of the parties that we go to at this point in our lives are potlucks, so no, not for those. But if we are staying overnight at someone's house, yes! Even relatives. I usually bring homemade hummus or banana bread.

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#7 of 26 Old 11-22-2009, 12:32 PM
 
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I was taught to never show up empty-handed (not sure how I was taught that, as my parents never socialized, lol!). I almost always bring a bottle of wine, if I know the hosts drink wine. Flowers if not. At potlucks, I only bring my dish.
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#8 of 26 Old 11-22-2009, 01:58 PM
 
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I was taught to never show up empty-handed (not sure how I was taught that, as my parents never socialized, lol!). I almost always bring a bottle of wine, if I know the hosts drink wine. Flowers if not. At potlucks, I only bring my dish.

Jessica, wife of Marc and Momma to Nikolai (10) and Nathaniel (9) and Olivia (3).
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#9 of 26 Old 11-22-2009, 03:08 PM
 
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I like to give something, although I confess I've been a little inconsistent lately. I think it's a nice thing to do for someone who has invited me into their home.

At the very least, if we are invited to dinner, we bring some wine and let our hosts know that it's something for them to enjoy on a different occasion. Sometimes they insist on opening it that evening, but often I think they appreciate saving it. Some friends are quite selective about wine/food pairings and have already put a lot of thought into their choices for dinner.
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#10 of 26 Old 11-22-2009, 03:18 PM
 
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My mother taught us never to show up without a present. It is something that I strongly believe in. I went to visit a friend on Friday and even though we see each other and talk often, I still brought something for us to share and something special for her.

To be honest, I feel uncomfortable not giving a gift when going to someone's house.
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#11 of 26 Old 11-22-2009, 03:21 PM
 
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Originally Posted by sunnmama View Post
I was taught to never show up empty-handed (not sure how I was taught that, as my parents never socialized, lol!). I almost always bring a bottle of wine, if I know the hosts drink wine. Flowers if not. At potlucks, I only bring my dish.
Yes, that's me, too.
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#12 of 26 Old 11-22-2009, 08:29 PM
 
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Always. Even if its just bringing a bannana bread. Whenever we go to someone's home, I always have something. USually, if one of DH's friends or someone who likes coffee, its fresh roasted coffee beans DH did that day. Otherwise a bottle of wine or a bannana bread, chocolates, or a special 6 pack the couple would like. Always a consumable.

I remember (this is going back some time) in college when DH was DB. He was finishing up Physical Therapy school. The Director had a dinner at his home for this class before they all parted ways. Dressed up etc. It was on a weekend and I remember my mother saying rather sternly, DO YOU HAVE A HOST GIFT??? which I had planned on doing. I picked up a box of chocolates from a favorite local candy place, wrapped it etc. We walked into the house, as we were taking off our coats, I presented it to him and his wife and said "thank you for having us." He was suprised, since I guess no one else brought anything. A rather rough around the edges girl in the class told my DH he was a major butt kisser as the director walked away. His wife turned and said to her "NO, they were just brought up proper." and walked off. Being a bit stuck up and sick of this girl anyhow, I turned to the girl and said "That is true, where I come from, you ALWAYS bring something like a hostess gift." Didnt matter, she was beet red anyhow.

A few weeks ago at a party we hosted, a couple brought a gift bag and said- "For tomorrow morning" Inside was a raison bread, apple juice and strawberry bars. All from Trader Joes. It got eaten!

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#13 of 26 Old 11-22-2009, 10:42 PM
 
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Absolutely - I would feel awkward showing up empty-handed.

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#14 of 26 Old 11-22-2009, 10:53 PM
 
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I've never received one and I've never given one. Granted, most of the things I've been to are potlucks. I wonder how many women in my generation do hostess gifts though... I just turned 24. Unless it's a housewarming party or something, I didn't realize that was anything I should do! Now I feel embarrassed, lol.

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#15 of 26 Old 11-22-2009, 11:21 PM
 
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Well, I didn't see a proper section for me. I ALWAYS bring SOMETHING- but I haven't gone to anyone's home RECENTLY.. I never get anything though. So first or last for me I guess would be closest.

If it is a potluck, I bring a dish, if it is not a potluck I bring SOMETHING- usually a drink to share.
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#16 of 26 Old 11-22-2009, 11:24 PM
 
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I usually bring a bottle of wine or a 6 pack of good beer. Most people do the same when they come over. Once in a while we have people over who come empty handed but it's rare.

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#17 of 26 Old 11-23-2009, 12:28 AM
 
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I am going to need the recipe for the infused vodka, please...

I always bring a hostess gift, usually something small, but still. And I am generally the only one at the party who does. But then again, I also still believe in handwritten thank you notes for everything from gifts to job interviews.

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#18 of 26 Old 11-23-2009, 02:51 AM
 
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I always bring something. I usually aim for something consumable; wine, cookies, flowers/plants, a fancy jar of jam, a nice pair of candles, etc.

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#19 of 26 Old 11-23-2009, 03:12 AM
 
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We seldom do 'parties,' but whenever we are visiting overnight -- and if it's a dinner, we bring something for the meal usually.

My standard is homemade jams or jellies (or both); or else a local gift (to someone we are visiting elsewhere, I've brought locally made soaps or etc.).

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#20 of 26 Old 11-23-2009, 03:32 AM
 
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I like to bring a bottle of wine or two if it's not a "bring-a-dish-to-share" event. Recently my sister had a small dinner at her new house and I brought a couple bottles of wine, one for now and one for later, plus a set of new wine glasses for her new house and a basket of fruit. She already had wine out so the bottles were saved for later and she was thrilled with the new glasses (which she needed as she only had one wine glass not broken,) and the fruit basket.

When I was in high school my swim coach had all the senior students over to his house at the end of the season for catered sushi dinner. I brought some wild roses clipped from my mother's garden and his wife was absolutely delighted. It seemed like such a simple gesture at the time but now I realize that I was probably the only person to bring something as a gift. Even cut flowers are appreciated!

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#21 of 26 Old 11-23-2009, 03:49 AM
 
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Originally Posted by clicksab View Post
I've never received one and I've never given one. Granted, most of the things I've been to are potlucks. I wonder how many women in my generation do hostess gifts though... I just turned 24. Unless it's a housewarming party or something, I didn't realize that was anything I should do! Now I feel embarrassed, lol.
I am 25 and also think it isn't done so much anymore. I was taught to not show up empty handed, but the situations I was taught that about were different. I mean, someone I don't see very often, yes. Someone invites us over for dinner, yes, a fancy party that someone put thought and effort into, sure. But that's not the kind of thing that happens much. Usually it's a bunch of kids, hanging out, just like we did in college. And since it's the same thing, only evolved from dorm rooms to houses and apartments, it is hard to imagine where the host/hostess giving would have started.

I still try to bring along a dish or gift once in a while, (although I am only one of 2 that does), and I think that as we all get older and have more traditional, rigid gatherings, the tradition may pick up.

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#22 of 26 Old 11-23-2009, 10:33 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Fantastic ideas for gifts everyone! I think it's fun to bring people presents.
Also in the Deep South we call them "happys". Whenvever you get someone an unexpected gift, or token of appreciation or hostess gift or anything along those lines we say, "I got you a Happy"! I love that saying, I think it's so appropriate. In fact, I just got a happy last night from my mil!

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#23 of 26 Old 11-23-2009, 11:46 AM
 
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We generally take a bottle of home made wine if the host/hostess will appreciate that. He/she can use it then or save it for another time. If we are going to a party with a guest of honor, we take the gift for him/her.

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#24 of 26 Old 11-23-2009, 04:22 PM
 
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I am 25 and also think it isn't done so much anymore. I was taught to not show up empty handed, but the situations I was taught that about were different. I mean, someone I don't see very often, yes. Someone invites us over for dinner, yes, a fancy party that someone put thought and effort into, sure. But that's not the kind of thing that happens much. Usually it's a bunch of kids, hanging out, just like we did in college. And since it's the same thing, only evolved from dorm rooms to houses and apartments, it is hard to imagine where the host/hostess giving would have started.

I still try to bring along a dish or gift once in a while, (although I am only one of 2 that does), and I think that as we all get older and have more traditional, rigid gatherings, the tradition may pick up.
When I was in my 20s, everyone brought a six pack or a bag of chips, or some such to that kind of get together. Fancy coasters, or cut flowers would have been a bit off for such an event, but we certainly didn't expect the host/hostess of the party/get together to provide all the alcohol and munchies.

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#25 of 26 Old 11-23-2009, 04:30 PM
 
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I just turned 30 (if it matters) and always try to bring a hostess gift. Usually just some pretty flowers or something simple (and edible!).
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#26 of 26 Old 11-23-2009, 04:47 PM
 
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I am almost 43. I vote I have never given a hostess gift. I'm not quite sure that is true, because I did take a bottle of wine to a party once, but I think that was technically a birthday celebration.

I don't really go to parties. When I was growing up, it seemed like things were pretty no nonsense. I understand the concept of dinner parties and the like, but we just never did these things in our family. We would go to birthday parties as children, and of course we'd bring a present. The parties were very proscribed--you dressed nicely, brought a gift, ate cake and ice cream, played pin-the-tail on the donkey and left with a hat and blower. Parents didn't come, you went when you were old enough to know how to behave, and these parties were pretty much done by the time you were 9 or 10 years old.

Sometimes we'd have family over for Thanksgiving, and people would bring dishes for the dinner. Or maybe a backyard cookout, and someone might bring chips or beer that they wanted to drink (my parents didn't drink). In general we didn't go out to eat but maybe once or twice a year, we barely went into people's homes let alone go there for dinner. I know my parents did some socializing with my mom's sorority, but the kids were left out of that, and they were usually going to a public place, so there was no bringing of a gift.

The idea of going to a party and bringing a hostess gift is just something that seems like it's for people in books, or something. Like for people in a different social strata than the one we were in. Plus, when I've wanted to bring something, like a bottle of wine (which I've heard of people doing when they are invited to dinner, that seems normal) or a gourmet kind of treat, I'd be afraid that the person would not like what I was bringing and wonder why I was bringing it. If they didn't serve it, I'd think it meant they didn't like it, but then I wouldn't know if I was supposed to serve something given to me as a gift, or if that would be considered offensive. It seems like a potential minefield and kind of scary to me.

But now that I know it is so common, maybe I'll think about this more. Not that I go to parties.

I think part of this is that I grew up with parents who were both raised during the Depression. I have nieces my age who have Baby Boomer parents, and their experiences are a little different. I guess it's not necessarily an age thing, but just a custom thing, and I'm not really familiar with the custom.
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