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#1 of 19 Old 02-25-2010, 01:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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i brought this here from the vax forum as that thread was getting off topic. quick recap: my 15 yo son was severely bitten by a classmate. it happened 12 days ago. we had been trying to work with the school to meet with the childs parents. it finally happened this evening. the biters parents are currently absent. she lives with an unofficial caretaker. the caretaker has refused to pay for the biter to be tested for communicable disease and relays a message from the mother that funding will not be coming from that source either.

i have been receiving lots of advice to call the police and press charges. if i do that, it is highly likely that my son will be arrested also.

is there anyway i can force them to have the girl tested for hep a and b as well as HIV and syphilis? (those are the ones CDC seems to list as being most likely to pass through human saliva)

i know i can file a civil suit. although i'm not sure what the statute of limitations is on assault, i figure if my son gets sick and there are any medical bills not covered by insurance, i can sue them, though TBH, i get the impression there is no one who really takes care of this girl, and whoever actually is responsible probably is not a person of means.

so i guess it isnt mandatory that the girl shares her status with us. we have offered to freely share my sons test results with her, and sort of naively thought the other party would be glad to reciprocate, but they wont. can we get a court order to force them to have her tested and share the results with us, or is that an impassable violation of HIPAA?

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#2 of 19 Old 02-25-2010, 01:54 AM
 
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First off, he will be fine. :
Worse comes to worse, if you're getting your son tested anyway, just sue them. Of course that leaves you with getting him retested later on in case there was an incubation period or something.

Then again if *she* just got exposed a clean bill of health on her wouldn't be a guarantee.

My inclination would be to take them to court for the medical bills you've already incurred and get the court to say they're responsible for any on going medical problems particularly those diseases. Then they can either get her tested or hope that your ds never gets those diseases from another source (which he won't, just pointing out that if they don't test her, they'll have to pay if he ever got those diseases. Which he won't because he is fine.)
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#3 of 19 Old 02-25-2010, 10:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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well, there ahvent been any medical bills yet. ds hid the bite from us for a whole weekend so by the time i saw it it was starting to scab and there was no point in thoroughly cleaning it. we've been advised to hold off on testing for another week or two to give stuff time to cook. so far, ins will cover the office visit and all the labs. the only way there would be out of pocket expenses is if he needed to hospitalized for an extended period.

its obvious that if we were to sue these ppl they wouldnt have the ability to pay anyway, plus the absent mother is 1000mi away and the caretaker refused to give us her name or even pass our names and numbers to her. they straight up refuse to accept financial responsibility for what this girl did. it seems the girl is troubled and us suing the family isnt going to make her life any easier. we wont be suing anyone for money anytime soon or callingn the police either.

what i would consider is suing to have the girl tested but i guess by the time we got it accomplished we would already be through the 180 day upper incubation limit and we would know whether ds had gotten anything.

its just sad that no one in this girls life seems to be taking it seriously. she accused ds of biting her too, so you would think her adults would be just as concerned to have confirmation of his status, but when i offered to hand over his test results the caretaker was like "whatever, you're overreacting".

and, thank you for saying he'll be fine. i'm sure he will be. even if the girl exposed him to something, we eat right and get enough sleep and outdoor time and my kids both have very strong immune systems, so in the end he will be fine and maybe someday this girl will mess with someone less forgiving and end up in jail or maybe she'll be just scared enough at the threat we made to call the police that she will never assault anyone else.

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#4 of 19 Old 02-25-2010, 11:35 AM - Thread Starter
 
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my kids have not had a PCP for some time. cant find a novax ped anywhere near here but i did find a family dr who was cool and both kids and i established with him and were very happy. he moved too far away for us to keep using him, so i was left with no one for the kids.

so this incident happens and i figure nows as good a time as any to find a new doc. i found a DO that was listed on both of the kids plans (one has private ins one has medicaid)

we were supposed to go today for whats left of the bite to be looked at but after the principal, who is an LPN, suggested i wait a few more weeks to allow for incubation, i called this new dr to reschedule.

the receptionist put me on hold and gave the phone to the nurse who took me to task for even thinking of waiting. she grilled me on which antibiotic he had taken (none) and what other sort of treatment he had received (um, well, none...) so i lied and told her he had been seen in urgent care as we were between care providers. its obvious to me that if i dont show up they will call CPS. what a mess, and what nerve!

then the nurse tells me that i shoudl really establish today bc over the next few wks the dr will be out of town as he is participating in a new hep b clinical trial! i know DO doesnt mean "crunchy" anymore but geez, could i have picked a worse dr???

the nurse also insisted hep b CAN NOT be spread through saliva, but the CDC seems to say otherwise.

today sucks and its only 9:30 in the morning.

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#5 of 19 Old 02-25-2010, 06:29 PM
 
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How old is your boy?

What he fighting with her or defending himself. Courts and police are opening up and arresting more and more women for their part in acts of violence (domestic violent).
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#6 of 19 Old 02-25-2010, 08:24 PM
 
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why do you think your son would get arrested, why did he hide the bite? I think if you want the tests done, you will need to use bribery, Here come to the doctor, take this test and I'll reimburse you an ipod or $50 for your time etc...

If you did want to vaccinate your son because he was exposed, the time limit for safe treatment may pass by if you wait very long.
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#7 of 19 Old 02-25-2010, 08:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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he is 15 and in 9th grade. the story was that he was mouthing off to her, being really really mean on purpose and she slapped him in the face so he pushed her away and then she punched him on the arm. they went their seperate ways in the hall and then a minute later she crept up and removed some flesh from his triceps.

i went to the principal who "investigated" and drew the conclusion that my son bit her back, but he refused to ask her to "expose any part of her body to a male employee". nevermind that he should have immediately called her responsible adult and had that person ask to see the bite my son supposedly inflicted.

anyway, when it became apparent the school would be useless i told the principal i was going to the police. he arranged for a meeting with the biters adult who then got loud and obnoxious and said her ward bit my ds bc he had his hands around her throat and squeezed until she couldnt breathe. it simply isnt possible that that happened bc of where the bite is. just not possible.

i decided not to get the police involved bc it was obvious we were dealing with unscrupulous ppl and i didnt want my son arrested for something he clearly could not have done.

i feel very frustrated and victimized on behalf of my son but he thinks i am totally overreacting. the dr visit today went well. dr said there was virtually no chance of my son getting anything and never even mentioned vax. so at least my butt is covered, i took my kid to the dr and some little brat got away with assault. whatever.

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#8 of 19 Old 02-25-2010, 08:28 PM
 
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HIV is not spread through saliva. It takes something like 5 gallons of saliva to get enough cells with enough of a viral load to transmit and infect.

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#9 of 19 Old 02-25-2010, 08:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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[QUOTE=pranamama;15116639]why do you think your son would get arrested, why did he hide the bite? I think if you want the tests done, you will need to use bribery, Here come to the doctor, take this test and I'll reimburse you an ipod or $50 for your time etc...QUOTE]

oh hell NO. i would not pay this person to get tested. they owe me for the $ it cost me today to take ds to the dr. i would possible pay for her test but no way in hell would i REWARD her.

and no chance of vax either. i've come to far to ever go that route with my kids again.

its over. ds got hurt and the biter got away with it. such is the way of the world i suppose.

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#10 of 19 Old 02-25-2010, 11:04 PM
 
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why are 15 year olds biting anyway?
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#11 of 19 Old 02-25-2010, 11:13 PM
 
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I doubt your son would get arrested as well - especially if you're sure he didn't bit her and she doesn't have anything to prove it on the spot. Either way I would want to know what the school is doing to protect my son from her from here on out. If they say he bit her as well, I'd demand the proof of it and call them on their lack of evidence while sliding a mention of libel and slander and lawsuits in there. It just astounds me, on one hand we have "zero tolerance" that falls into the area of absurd, and on the other we have lack of any enforcement.
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#12 of 19 Old 02-25-2010, 11:15 PM
 
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Did you take photos and document everything? Have you complained to the school district for not handling this properly? (e.g. if she claimed to be harmed, there should have been an official report and a female aide to assist in documentation).

You sound a bit intimidated but not crossing your ts and doing this the right way only gives them more of an ability to make it your fault.

Something is just really off about this whole thing.

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#13 of 19 Old 02-25-2010, 11:32 PM
 
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honestly if it were me I woud just pay for it myself since you did mention your son was involved in an altercation with her (not that it excuses escalating the situation or the biting) but for my piece of mind I would just say to pay for it and see if the guardian would allow testing and the results to be shared with you (in writing)
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#14 of 19 Old 02-26-2010, 10:15 AM
 
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I am not usually one to advocate violence, but if someone bit me like that, I would have probably knocked the crap out of them.

She is lucky he didn't do just that.

Why should SHE get away with this?
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#15 of 19 Old 02-26-2010, 12:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carlylovesthesims2 View Post
why are 15 year olds biting anyway?
bc i guess 15 yo's are just basically preschoolers in adults bodies. i think the girl is troubled. her mother has shipped her off and the person "caring" for her doesnt give enough of a crap about her to get her tested after being told my ds bit her. 15 and alone...wouldnt that drive you a bit crazy?

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Originally Posted by SunshineJ View Post
I doubt your son would get arrested as well - especially if you're sure he didn't bit her and she doesn't have anything to prove it on the spot. Either way I would want to know what the school is doing to protect my son from her from here on out. If they say he bit her as well, I'd demand the proof of it and call them on their lack of evidence while sliding a mention of libel and slander and lawsuits in there. It just astounds me, on one hand we have "zero tolerance" that falls into the area of absurd, and on the other we have lack of any enforcement.
i'm not sure he didnt bite her. all i can be sure of is that he didnt bite her hard enough to leave a mark that was still visible weeks later, as she did to him. that being said, i really dont believe he bit her, not bc i defend my child unquestioningly, but bc these ppl are willing to lie and say he choked her, which i just dont see happening in the classroom with the teacher 10 ft away.

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Originally Posted by claddaghmom View Post
Did you take photos and document everything? Have you complained to the school district for not handling this properly? (e.g. if she claimed to be harmed, there should have been an official report and a female aide to assist in documentation).

You sound a bit intimidated but not crossing your ts and doing this the right way only gives them more of an ability to make it your fault.

Something is just really off about this whole thing.
i have a whole mess of photos, even took some with a ruler held up to the bite would to show how bit it really is. complaining will get me nowhere. the principal screwed up, the teacher did too, but bc my son was less than honest about the details, i havent got a leg to stand on.

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Originally Posted by luv-my-boys View Post
honestly if it were me I woud just pay for it myself since you did mention your son was involved in an altercation with her (not that it excuses escalating the situation or the biting) but for my piece of mind I would just say to pay for it and see if the guardian would allow testing and the results to be shared with you (in writing)
might just do that...well, offer to anyways.

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Originally Posted by TinkerBelle View Post
I am not usually one to advocate violence, but if someone bit me like that, I would have probably knocked the crap out of them.

She is lucky he didn't do just that.

Why should SHE get away with this?
feminism be damned, both my sons have my wholehearted endorsement that they may use whatever force they deem necessary if being attacked by a female. when he told me the bite was from some new girl in school, i asked him straight up why he didnt punch her dead in the face while her teeth were still latched on. wouldnt have bothered me a bit if he had. i teach my kids never to hit first, always try to walk away, but when someone violates their body in anyway, they may do whatever seems appropriate to self defend.

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#16 of 19 Old 02-26-2010, 12:46 PM
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Originally Posted by blessedwithboys View Post



feminism be damned, both my sons have my wholehearted endorsement that they may use whatever force they deem necessary if being attacked by a female. when he told me the bite was from some new girl in school, i asked him straight up why he didnt punch her dead in the face while her teeth were still latched on. wouldnt have bothered me a bit if he had. i teach my kids never to hit first, always try to walk away, but when someone violates their body in anyway, they may do whatever seems appropriate to self defend.
Amen sister!

And I have a daughter too - but I feel the same way. #1 - don't minimize my daughter by saying she shouldn't be hit just because 'she's a girl' UGH!

and #2 - I trust both of my sons to know that if they hit a girl back - she deserved it. And no - I wouldn't even say they shouldn't hit a girl first - the fact is that they shouldn't hit anybody first (especially in the public school setting).

Trying to do the right thing with three kids and a hubby. 
ds20, dd18, ds16

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#17 of 19 Old 02-26-2010, 01:30 PM
 
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Originally Posted by TinkerBelle View Post
I am not usually one to advocate violence, but if someone bit me like that, I would have probably knocked the crap out of them.

She is lucky he didn't do just that.

Why should SHE get away with this?
Because she as SHE. Don't you understand it what her son's fault? Girls aren't guilty of violence. He brought this on himself? I am being sarcastic.

It is slowly changing but in our society, women have been getting away with violence for a long time. Girl smacks a guy in the bar laugh at him, he deserved it. There is a major double standard against violence against boy's/men.
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#18 of 19 Old 02-27-2010, 11:44 AM
 
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btw, FREE STD testing should be available at the local health dept. Though it sounds like your son dodged the bullet there.

if you are not happy with the school's response, you could write a letter or contact your school district. Both students might be punished. (mouthing off = sexual harassment?)
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#19 of 19 Old 03-01-2010, 11:24 PM
 
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Ahhhh... I have so many things to say regarding this. I work in the HIV field as a medical case manager. First off, your son cannot get HIV through a bite. Plain and simple. HIV is not transmitted through saliva. Neither is hepatitis. Hepatitis A is transmitted through feces. Hepatitis B & C need to have a sexual encounter or blood to blood contact (sometimes razors/toothbrushes can transmit hep B & C because there has been knicks/cuts that caused bleeding). Saliva does not transmit these diseases.

Secondly, at least in my state, you cannot be forced to get an STD test. In addition, those tests need at least 3 months before you can test because they look for the antibodies that the body creates to fight the virus. We only test people after at least 3 months from possible exposure and then retest again at 6 months.

I really, really want to stress that these diseases cannot be spread by saliva. This is a HUGE misconception. Sorry if this is a repeat of other things posted, but I had to jump to posting. This is my daily work!

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