Do you have FB "friends" that you do not know? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 34 Old 04-15-2010, 02:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I know.. more facebook stuff UGH.. lol. I have A LOT of family on FB. Love it.

About a month ago I joined a group on Facebook that supports surrogacy for same sex couples.

Over the next couple of days I got like well over 100 requests for friends. I excepted almost all of them, a couple of them were agencies and clinics and I didn't except those, kinda worried they would try to spam my page.

Anyways, I love it, It makes me feel good because I get to talk about surrogacy whenever I want and no one gets sick of it lol.

But I get a lot of pictures and see a lot of statuses that I have no clue about because I do not know these people really. We all have only one thing in common.

So when someone posts stuff about them, I never know what to say, so I say nothing.

Do you have a bunch of strangers on FB? Do you post on their walls? send them messages? Say Happy Birthday?

Loving Dh, Mama x 4, Surrogate mother to 5. A born 2003, M and R girl/girl twins 2006, S and C boy/girl twins born 2010. Processing/healing.
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#2 of 34 Old 04-15-2010, 02:54 PM
 
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No. I try to only friend people that I actually know. Well, except for about 3 people. I have an MDC mama on there that was asking for MDC friends on here. I don't know her but I hit "like" on pics of her wearing her babies and when she posts crunchy articles. I have 3 people that I must know because their info says they went to my highschool and about 50 of my other friends have them, but I can't for the life of me remember these people. I was very popular in school so a lot of people knew me even if I wasn't completely friends with them, so I accepted and don't post anything unless it's a Congrats on their new baby or something like that. If they post on mine then I tend to post more on theirs. I'm just too embarrassed to say "I don't remember you at all. Who are you?"

ETA: I also keep my page private, except for friends. I wouldn't want anyone I don't know to know that I'm going on vacation and won't be home. I wouldn't friend anyone that I didn't really know in person that lived in my state, though, for privacy/security reasons.

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#3 of 34 Old 04-15-2010, 02:58 PM
 
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I have a stranger friend on FB. She's the friend of a friend. I noticed that her hyphenated last name was the same as mine and my H's cousin had recently married a girl with the same first name so I inboxed her and asked. She wasn't the same girl but she friended me anyway and I accepted.

I don't post on her wall and she doesn't post on mine, but we will comment on each others statuses if one of us posts something funny.

Body, I've been more than patient. Please make a baby. Please?
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#4 of 34 Old 04-15-2010, 03:05 PM
 
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I do have people on my friends list that I don't know. Most of them are because of Farmville and Mafia Wars (which my df uses my fb for). I have separate lists for people that I friend and don't know so they can't see anything, pictures etc. We are strangers, we can play games but you don't need to know anything about me or what my kid looks like.
I have a few MDC mamas that I've friended from when I actually was able to play Farmville but I don't block what they see, they are in my regular friends list. Something about them being from MDC makes the trust factor better lol! Plus I like being able to look at their kiddos since it feels like I sort of know them from here and I assume they would feel the same way!
I have a coworker list as well. They do not need to see too much personal stuff but I don't mind if they see certain pics.
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#5 of 34 Old 04-15-2010, 03:23 PM
 
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I only have one friend that I don't actually know. Although some friends and dh have tried to explain who he is and that I probably do know him, but it's just not clicking. His pictures aren't good enough for me to tell.

I do have my pics and status updates hidden from him and my page is private for anyone besides my friends, so I'm not too worried.
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#6 of 34 Old 04-15-2010, 03:54 PM
 
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I have a few people from high school that I don't remember well. Oddly enough I have a couple of family members I've never met. My father was an avid procreator, he just didn't stick around to take care of any of his kids. So I have some siblings and several nieces and nephews that I've never met.
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#7 of 34 Old 04-15-2010, 03:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by neetling View Post
I have a few people from high school that I don't remember well. Oddly enough I have a couple of family members I've never met. My father was an avid procreator, he just didn't stick around to take care of any of his kids. So I have some siblings and several nieces and nephews that I've never met.
My half brothers dads is just like that.. 23 kids, I don't know many of them.

Loving Dh, Mama x 4, Surrogate mother to 5. A born 2003, M and R girl/girl twins 2006, S and C boy/girl twins born 2010. Processing/healing.
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#8 of 34 Old 04-15-2010, 04:08 PM
 
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The only people I have on my facebook that I do not know in real life are a few MDC ladies from my due date club.

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#9 of 34 Old 04-15-2010, 04:27 PM
 
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I vowed to never have a "friend" that I didn't actually know. But there is one guy who sent me a friend request that I didn't think I knew, but wasn't positive. When I looked at his profile, he was all about nutirition and natural health, which I love, so I thought maybe I knew him and couldn't remember him. I accepted his request with a note stating that I didn't recognize him, please explain, and I'd be happy to be his friend! Turns out he friended me because I became a fan of a nutrition page and me must be trolling for friends. He might try to sell me something in the future, but for now I enjoy seeing his posts about nutrition!

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#10 of 34 Old 04-15-2010, 04:51 PM
 
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Nope. I have just over 300 friends and I know all of them personally (well except maybe a few exceptions of friend of a friend, but even those ones I do actually talk to). DP has like 800 some friends and he knows most of them, but he also excepts requests for friendships on the assumption that they must know him from somewhere. He is also a musician, so the more friends the more advertisement, so it's not as big an issue for him. If I have a question of whether or not I know someone I always double check their page. 9 out of 10 times they're someone I knew in high school that I just blanked on until looking. There has been times, though that I've ignored the request because I had no idea who they were. I'm not keen on strangers checking out my page. I keep it private as well for that same reason.

Happily unmarried to DP guitar.gifParenting: DD (March '06) energy.gifwaterbirth.jpg, DS (August '10) fly-by-nursing1.giffamilybed1.gifhomebirth.jpg, and our furry kids dog2.gifGuiney Pig, dog2.gifPo the POlice, and cat.gifMrs. Puff. Loving WAHM life in the Mortgage Bizz with DP.

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#11 of 34 Old 04-15-2010, 05:08 PM
 
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I have a TON of people from MDC on my friends list, mostly for Farmville. I do chat with some of them outside of Farmville. That said, I won't add some one if I don't have at least one mutual friend with them (unless they specify the reason they are friending me) I'm pretty liberal with my friends list.

Elizabeth wife to Matt , mom to Logan (2/21/01) , and little man Desmond (9/23/08)

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#12 of 34 Old 04-15-2010, 05:14 PM
 
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i have a few friends that i don't really know, who maybe i've met or talked to or been at the same shows/parties (in the olden days) and just don't remember their name. if we have a lot of mutual friends, i accept their request. i also have some facebook friends from la leche league that i don't really know, other than seeing them literally once or twice at a meeting.

if someone starts annoying me, i defriend, but generally i don't care if i know someone or not. i'd rather say 'yes' and then who cares if they're on my friends list, if they're not annoying me. there have been a couple people i DO know irl that i said no to or just didn't respond.
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#13 of 34 Old 04-15-2010, 05:42 PM
 
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Yes, I have people on fb that I've never met. Some of them are from here. Some are my team members. A few are musicians/artists/authors.

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#14 of 34 Old 04-15-2010, 05:49 PM
 
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I mostly only friend people I actually know IRL. If I get a friend request and don't know who the person is, I'll ask where I know them from.

One person responded "high school"- just those two words. Nowhere did she say what school she went to or what year she graduated- but I looked her up in my yearbook, and as soon as I saw her photo, I remembered her as an aquantance at the time. We'd eat lunch together if we both had the same lunch period, but we never got together outside of school. I accepted her friend request.

Another time it was somebody I knew from an online chat I used to frequent. I declined his request. I never met him IRL and am unlikely to do so.

It gets iffy with "friends of friends", especially if it's a friend of one of my closer IRL friends. I wonder if maybe we met at a party or something but I still can't place the name or recognize the photo. I have 2 pending friends right now, and I should probably send a message to my IRL friend to ask about them.

I'm also a member of some groups, and I'll chat to my heart's content about group subjects on the group, but I won't friend anybody I don't know IRL.

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18, and Jack, 12
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#15 of 34 Old 04-15-2010, 05:52 PM
 
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I have a few people from MDC that I've never met IRL - but other than that, I know everyone else. Well, that's not true, b/c I have a few people from DH's family that I've never met who friended me after friending him - but at least I know they are real people and related to me by marriage, yk?

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#16 of 34 Old 04-15-2010, 08:04 PM
 
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Most of the people in my friends list are mamas I have "met" on thebabywearer.com. Everyone else I know or have worked with (lots of people from my old days doing theatre). But I really don't post very much "personal" stuff on facebook. Photos of things I have sewn, links to articles I like, and other general parenting type stuff. The most personal thing I have posted was announcing I was in the middle of a root canal. I was bored stiff while the dentist tried to get me numb (8 shots later it finally worked) and entertained myself by posting updates on my root canal.

And it is funny, a friend of my sister's from high school sent me a friend request. I really felt bad for ignoring, but just did not want to open ties to anyone from my old high school.

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#17 of 34 Old 04-15-2010, 09:36 PM
 
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I have a few MDC mama friends (Pet Society anyone!) and one other female that asked me to be a friend based of Pet Society. I know everyone else- some not very well, b/ut I know them all. Also, I have become quite fond of my MDC fb friends and feel like I know a couple fairly well considering!

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#18 of 34 Old 04-15-2010, 09:47 PM
 
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I have one. She's from MDC. But she doesn't have her real last name on there. I do use my real identity on FB so I felt a little weird at first, but I like her. If she lived closer to me I would try to connect with her IRL.

I am a 40 year old unschooling, belly dancing, artist-mama of one almost 8 year old. I just had brain surgery and blogging.jpg about it a bit because it's just so surreal.
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#19 of 34 Old 04-15-2010, 10:33 PM
 
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I have a couple. I just look at it as a way to stay connected, instead of handing out my email. Most of them I've met briefly, but we're not friends. People who might pass my way someday and I'd like to offer them a bed for a night and such. Friends of friends, usually.
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#20 of 34 Old 04-16-2010, 01:09 PM
 
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I quit FB cold turkey. It was getting out of control. I got daily friend requests from people I don't know. It felt strange. I don't miss it at all.
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#21 of 34 Old 04-16-2010, 02:26 PM
 
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Yes, I have a few FB friends that I don't know, they're from two sources: Our Shared-Unusual-Last-Name FB page and the We're-Really-Proud-of-Our-Teeny-Mediterranean-Village-of-Origin FB page.

So I got to see pictures of this woman's cruise through Greece and her trip to NYC recently. She's otherwise a complete stranger to me.

Someone moved my effing cheese.
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#22 of 34 Old 04-16-2010, 02:58 PM
 
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Sort of. I don't include imaginary friends (as in, online) as not knowing them, but dd1 has friended some adult men we know from the gym, so I friend them too, even though I don't know them well enough to on my own. But dd1 doesn't get to friend adult males alone!

FTR, I have met them all, we all go to the same gym a few times a week, we just don't socialize together outside of the gym, they do not have nefarious plans, I'm just a little paranoid.
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#23 of 34 Old 04-16-2010, 08:37 PM
 
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I have some people on my list that I don't know so I will have more neighbors in Farmville. I used to have a bunch of people for Pet Society, but I think I dropped most of them b/c I don't play that anymore. I did have some people from my last DDC, but I think I dropped most of them b/c we never interacted. I think I only have one left and that's only b/c she plays Farmville. Yes, I play Farmville and I spam people by posting things. I figure people can hide it if they don't want to see it.

I recently changed my username, but I still say "Hello" to all those who know me in real life! Hi P, S, T and K!
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#24 of 34 Old 04-16-2010, 09:34 PM
 
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Originally Posted by sandcastle View Post
I have some people on my list that I don't know so I will have more neighbors in Farmville. I used to have a bunch of people for Pet Society, but I think I dropped most of them b/c I don't play that anymore. I did have some people from my last DDC, but I think I dropped most of them b/c we never interacted. I think I only have one left and that's only b/c she plays Farmville. Yes, I play Farmville and I spam people by posting things. I figure people can hide it if they don't want to see it.
I love Farmville and Pet Society! I have women from MDC on there for both of those games.

Elizabeth wife to Matt , mom to Logan (2/21/01) , and little man Desmond (9/23/08)

Mourning the loss of her father: Robert Edward Dillon 5/31/52 - 01/03/2011

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#25 of 34 Old 04-17-2010, 04:16 AM
 
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I have some people on there that I've known for years from the internet but have never met in person. 1 MDC mama and 8 from Babycenter birth board.

: Robyn : Increasingly crunchy Mama to Kya (8) , Makena (7) , and Keegan (4) :
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#26 of 34 Old 04-17-2010, 06:13 AM
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not a bunch, no.

i have friends on FB who are friends of family who share a common interest with me; i have friends on FB who were high school classmates whom i hardly remember at all (as in, i do not know who this person is, and since i don't have my yearbooks, i can't look it up); but most of my friends on FB are people whom i know IRL with a couple whom i know from message boards (some i also know IRL having gone to a "chat meet.").

but, i have a lot of statuses that i do not "get" and i don't respond to *most* of them anyway. and, i hide ALL of the stupid games. i don't care about the damn fish someone found or the poor cow on farmville or how many wahtever they need in their elf-war. i hide all of that stuff.
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#27 of 34 Old 04-17-2010, 02:54 PM
 
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No, Everyone On my FB I know, most of them are other military wives

We may not have it all together, but together we have it all , Loving their daddy, my hubby, our soldier
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#28 of 34 Old 04-18-2010, 01:56 AM
 
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I don't but my sister plays mafia wars and she has thousands of friends. The kicker is, she really has become friendly with most them.
My sister once had her account shut down by face book b/ c of the number of friends and the fact that she was indeed posting on their pages. Facebook considered this spam, Her friends did not. so I set up a fan page to bring her account back. Everyone one of those people came and supported her saying it was not spam but honest chat.
she got her account back

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#29 of 34 Old 04-18-2010, 03:43 AM
 
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I actually have a couple friend requests from people I don't know right now - no idea why they want to friend me. Haven't ignored their requests yet. It's awkward; I worked for years in a very interactive job and have a wide range of acquaintances -- usually I snoop and see if I have friends in common with someone, if I don't recognize their name at first; these individuals don't have friends in common with me so I haven't done anything yet. A few years ago I got a friend request from a woman I didn't recognize, I was new to FB and finally messaged her. Apparently there is a woman in Europe with my very unusual name, whose daughter is in soccer with this woman's daughter. It was funny. She was a bit offended that this other mom hadn't replied to her request, and relieved to learn that she just had the wrong person.

Most of my friends are people I know IRL. I have a few friends there who I have met over the years, online, and I consider them as much 'friends' as my RL friends - while I haven't met them in person, they know me as well or better than my RL friends. One co-moderated a board with me for several years, and she and I went through a lot of shared struggles. I was so, so glad to find her on FB, since the board we posted on had gone defunct.

There are also a couple people I don't know and didn't 'meet' until FB. One is a friend of my dh's from his college years (she graduated before I got there). We have many mutual friends, similar interests and politics, and finally dh just sent us both a message saying, "Friend each other already!" Another FB friend coordinates a national advocacy group - I haven't met him in person but was very flattered that he sent a friend request; he does great work and I believe in what he does (and his friends list isn't HUGE). He explained who he was and that he liked several of the things I'd shared or posted on his group's FB page, when he sent his friend request. During the recent Presidential election, I was friended by a woman with whom I shared a mutual friend; the woman was working for a candidate I also supported, and doing outreach in the area I am from - so during the campaign, we were FB friends. I hope it helped her a bit? Anyway once the campaign was over, she unfriended me. I never posted on her wall, or anything - nor did she post on mine. I think I was more a barometer than anything else, for her.

And, I've a few distant relatives who've friended me on FB -- it's actually been pretty cool, there's one who I didn't know very well (my Mom's cousin) who has been great to get to know; she always posts interesting articles, comments on mine, has suggested a couple great books. We live far apart and without having been FB friends I think it would have been easy for me to think, if we were in the area, that I didn't know her well enough to stop and visit; now I know her well enough that I would WANT to plan a trip to visit. If that makes sense?

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#30 of 34 Old 04-18-2010, 10:31 AM
 
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I have FB friends who were in my high school class who I don't know (my class had 800 people in it). And now I'm soliciting MDC mamas for silly Facebook games. But, I don't accept friend invitations from people who just want more friends and see that we have a mutual friend or interest or whatever.

You can find me on Facebook. PM for info.
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