(facebook) i can't be the only one! is anyone else bothered by... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 41 Old 05-02-2010, 01:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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...the "real women look like (x)" "real women have (this attribute), not (that derogatory statement of a different attribute)" and "(y) girls are better than (z) girls" pages going around on facebook right now?

i mean, really! i'm all for body acceptance and loving and appreciating what you have, but all these people "liking" these pages can't be thinking about how insulting these pages are! can you imagine someone telling your daughter that she's not a "real woman" because she doesn't look like (x)? or telling her that she's inferior because she has a certain body type? the body-acceptance cause is NOT helped by insults.

i'm sure the people on my friends-list must think i'm nuts or an insufferable busybody about this, because after sitting with it and stewing for a couple of days, i finally made a status update about how i felt, and started messaging individual people who "like" these pages to tell them about it.

surely, i'm not alone in feeling like this!

christina

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#2 of 41 Old 05-02-2010, 02:32 PM
 
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I have to agree that they're annoying... i try to ignore them, though

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#3 of 41 Old 05-02-2010, 02:55 PM
 
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I haven't seen anything like that yet.

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#4 of 41 Old 05-02-2010, 03:03 PM
 
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Wow, I haven't seen anything like that and I am on it all day lol

I do want to warn you though, If you get a video through facebook on your wall from any of your friends about an optical illusion, delete it right away. DO NOT open it. It's a virus that can be spread throughout your friend list. I got this last night, I deleted it. Do the same!!

It looked pornish to me so I deleted it without thought. Then got a message from the sender, who was frantic about me not opening it. I assured him I didn't.

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#5 of 41 Old 05-02-2010, 03:15 PM
 
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I am a tad annoyed by them. I was lucky enough to be raised in a family with women in literally all shapes. I have one sis who is about 6 feet tall and weighs 110 lbs. Another who is 5'4 and weighs 99 lbs. Another who is 5'4 and weighs 150. And so on. I have super skinny sisters and curvy sisters. To me, we all are real women. There's no need to put down other body types to justify my own or to feel safer in my own skin! So i ignore the groups on there.

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#6 of 41 Old 05-02-2010, 03:54 PM
 
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There are so many things that annoy about facebook the different groups are waaay down on my list, lol. I'm more annoyed by the "copy this is you love your kids" and stuff like that. Its like, really, can't you be more original? And it makes me want to watch this video everytime, lol: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVA047JAQsk

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#7 of 41 Old 05-02-2010, 03:56 PM
 
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I haven't noticed those - but yeah, it sounds annoying!

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#8 of 41 Old 05-02-2010, 03:57 PM
 
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Newp, you're not the only one. This was my status Tuesday:

Quote:
For the record: I wear a size 18. I believe "real" women DO come in a size 0. And a size 30. And every single size in between. I have always hated to be judged based upon my dress size; far be it from me to do the same to another woman. Bodacious curves or boyishly shaped, REAL women do indeed come in all shapes.
Of course, two days before that, it was:

Quote:
Every time I read the title of the page (I think it's a page) "IF I SPOKEN TO MY PARENTS HOW KIDS TALK NOW DAYS I`D BEEN KNOCKED OUT" I can't help but bemoan the fact that a lot of people on my friends list apparently grew up being physically abused because they used proper grammar.

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#9 of 41 Old 05-02-2010, 03:59 PM
 
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I think the thing with this is that the other real women, the ones who are skinny, big breasted with a tiny waist, small breasted with a tiny waist, x attribute with a tiny waist...

They are all ready being put out there as real women, whether they end up having to get airbrushed or not. Which they usually do. And people are starting to get really PO'd about it.

No need to put any one down, true. No need to say X is better then Y, true. There is a real need to say "real women can and do look like this!" Especially with all of the fat phobia going around in todays society. It's no about validating one self as much as it is about saying "This is what I look like and you can shove you 'ideal body type' somewhere painful because I am not buying it."

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#10 of 41 Old 05-02-2010, 04:04 PM
 
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No need to put any one down, true. No need to say X is better then Y, true. There is a real need to say "real women can and do look like this!" Especially with all of the fat phobia going around in todays society. It's no about validating one self as much as it is about saying "This is what I look like and you can shove you 'ideal body type' somewhere painful because I am not buying it."
Then say it, don't insult someone else instead. It's really that simple. Real Women Ain't a Size 0...Real Women Have Curves! is analogous to saying "Real Women Ain't a Size 20...Real Women Are Fit!" If the second is bad, the first is too. I don't need to tear anyone down in order to reject the stupid cultural ideal of beauty that's out there.

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#11 of 41 Old 05-02-2010, 04:15 PM
 
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Then say it, don't insult someone else instead. It's really that simple. Real Women Ain't a Size 0...Real Women Have Curves! is analogous to saying "Real Women Ain't a Size 20...Real Women Are Fit!" If the second is bad, the first is too. I don't need to tear anyone down in order to reject the stupid cultural ideal of beauty that's out there.
Yeah but "real women look like x" is not tearing anyone down. It is making a statement of fact. Why is that a bad fact to state?

I do believe I said there is no need to put anyone down. In fact you included it in your quote. I do believe there is a need to make it known we don't accept the official standard of what a healthy, active woman looks like as the one true woman.

We as a society continue to reject the idea that any person who is over a predetermined size is not by default a lazy, inactive, unhealthy slob

Maybe someone should start a group that argues against that presupposition. Or maybe that is just what they are trying to do with these pages. Argue that a woman doesn't have to be a size 0, because right now everywhere you go in NA you are bombarded by size 0 women as being the perfect women and the non-size 0 women are unattractive, lazy, incapable of being loved because they are "too fat".

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#12 of 41 Old 05-02-2010, 04:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah but "real women look like x" is not tearing anyone down. It is making a statement of fact. Why is that a bad fact to state?
hey, op here. "real women look like x" is indeed a statement of fact and should not be taken as an insult, but the facebook page in question is actually called, "real women have (this), not (that derogatory statement of a different attribute)", which i definitely have a problem with. i apologize for not being clear.

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#13 of 41 Old 05-02-2010, 07:20 PM
 
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Yeek, I haven't seen this. Kinda glad I haven't.

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#14 of 41 Old 05-03-2010, 05:27 AM
 
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Originally Posted by lafemmedesfemmes View Post
...the "real women look like (x)" and "(y) girls are better than (z) girls" pages going around on facebook right now?
I was bothered enough that I went out and joined 3 groups: All women, curvy or skinny deserve love and respect =) FTW,
Skinny, Curvy, or Plus Size...ALL Women are BEAUTIFUL!!!
And NO body type is "BETTER" than another: curvy, skinny or average!

When that bra thing was going around and people kept putting nude as their bra color status, I ended up joining three groups called, Nude is not a color!

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#15 of 41 Old 05-03-2010, 01:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Kristine233 View Post
There are so many things that annoy about facebook the different groups are waaay down on my list, lol. I'm more annoyed by the "copy this is you love your kids" and stuff like that. Its like, really, can't you be more original? And it makes me want to watch this video everytime, lol: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVA047JAQsk
LOL! that was epic.

sharing! on facebook, of course! :-D

christina

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#16 of 41 Old 05-03-2010, 01:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Newp, you're not the only one. This was my status Tuesday:
Quote:
For the record: I wear a size 18. I believe "real" women DO come in a size 0. And a size 30. And every single size in between. I have always hated to be judged based upon my dress size; far be it from me to do the same to another woman. Bodacious curves or boyishly shaped, REAL women do indeed come in all shapes.
Of course, two days before that, it was:
Quote:
Every time I read the title of the page (I think it's a page) "IF I SPOKEN TO MY PARENTS HOW KIDS TALK NOW DAYS I`D BEEN KNOCKED OUT" I can't help but bemoan the fact that a lot of people on my friends list apparently grew up being physically abused because they used proper grammar.
LOL! nice!

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#17 of 41 Old 05-03-2010, 01:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Viola View Post
I was bothered enough that I went out and joined 3 groups: All women, curvy or skinny deserve love and respect =) FTW,
Skinny, Curvy, or Plus Size...ALL Women are BEAUTIFUL!!!
And NO body type is "BETTER" than another: curvy, skinny or average!
nice! i'm glad there are people in facebook-land who were annoyed enough to create these groups! me, i'm on facebook enough as it is-- i don't need to add page-maintenance to the time-sink!

christina

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#18 of 41 Old 05-03-2010, 03:01 PM
 
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I clicked on this thread, switched back to my Facebook tab, and three friends had just joined the group " *X* girls are better than *Y* girls." Within a minute.

I understand being proud of your body and I understand that women come in all shapes and sizes, but if I started a group called "*Y* girls are better than *X* girls," I'd be effing stoned to death.

I think I'm going to join the three groups a PP mentioned.

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#19 of 41 Old 05-03-2010, 03:13 PM
 
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Ladies and gent, let me introduce you to something called the "hide" button. I have hidden many a facebook friend. Some for just being annoying/pretentious, some for posting virtually nothing but pleas for Farmville crap (I've hidden the $#*&ing applications, but dang if people don't waste their status space asking for nails and sheep and lordy only knows what else), some for saying something I find personally offensive. Occasionally, joining an offensive/stupid group is enough to get ya hidden. This way, they're still my "friend" and can contact me if they want, but unless I actually click on their profile, I don't have to read what they're going on about.

I occasionally get all "nice" and go in and un-hide everyone, and then soonafter regret my charitable action and they end up re-hidden again .

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#20 of 41 Old 05-03-2010, 03:22 PM
 
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Then say it, don't insult someone else instead. It's really that simple. Real Women Ain't a Size 0...Real Women Have Curves! is analogous to saying "Real Women Ain't a Size 20...Real Women Are Fit!" If the second is bad, the first is too. I don't need to tear anyone down in order to reject the stupid cultural ideal of beauty that's out there.
Exactly. I saw that group the other day and was shocked. Why is that ok?

And I love the hide button. There's really only so much of another person's self-induced drama I can really handle.
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#21 of 41 Old 05-03-2010, 03:30 PM
 
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Of course, two days before that, it was:
Quote:
Every time I read the title of the page (I think it's a page) "IF I SPOKEN TO MY PARENTS HOW KIDS TALK NOW DAYS I`D BEEN KNOCKED OUT" I can't help but bemoan the fact that a lot of people on my friends list apparently grew up being physically abused because they used proper grammar.
I haven't gotten the "real women" one yet, but someone on my friends list did post this one. I'm rapidly approaching hiding her entirely, because I'm so sick of reading her "sleep training" updates.

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#22 of 41 Old 05-03-2010, 03:35 PM
 
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have any of you seen this?

www.theshapeofamother.com

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#23 of 41 Old 05-03-2010, 03:38 PM
 
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Ladies and gent, let me introduce you to something called the "hide" button.
Yup, use mine liberally.

I haven't seen this 'real woman' business (yet, but knowing some of my FB contacts I'm certain it's headed my way). However, the one that circulated a few weeks ago that was a 'prayer' about how the Lord had taken several favorite singers/actors/etc. and concluded by saying Barack Obama was their 'favorite' president (in other words, praying for the death of the President) reallly irked me. I didn't vote for Obama and I really don't like him as a President, but that was just disturbing.

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#24 of 41 Old 05-03-2010, 03:43 PM
 
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I haven't seen these yet, and I think (hope) that most of my firends know better than to join one. I am one of those very small people and my friends know that I hate the double standards.

Actually, thinking about it more, I think there are a few that absolutely would join one of these. I don't post many status updates at all, but I have to say that I sure would post one if I saw that.

And somewhat OT but on the subject of facebook, I have one friend who is totally annoying me with her status updates because they are always these cryptic attempts to be super deep and meaningful. They come across as really bad song lyrics. SO annoying.
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#25 of 41 Old 05-03-2010, 03:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I understand being proud of your body and I understand that women come in all shapes and sizes, but if I started a group called "*Y* girls are better than *X* girls," I'd be effing stoned to death.
no kidding! it's disheartening that other people don't see the connections. :-(

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#26 of 41 Old 05-03-2010, 03:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ladies and gent, let me introduce you to something called the "hide" button. I have hidden many a facebook friend. Some for just being annoying/pretentious, some for posting virtually nothing but pleas for Farmville crap (I've hidden the $#*&ing applications, but dang if people don't waste their status space asking for nails and sheep and lordy only knows what else), some for saying something I find personally offensive. Occasionally, joining an offensive/stupid group is enough to get ya hidden. This way, they're still my "friend" and can contact me if they want, but unless I actually click on their profile, I don't have to read what they're going on about.

I occasionally get all "nice" and go in and un-hide everyone, and then soonafter regret my charitable action and they end up re-hidden again .
heh-- i'm quite liberal with my use of the hide button, and facebook's other features that keep people from (repeatedly) asking me to join this mafia or get hired at this cafe. it's a sanity-saver, let me tell you! but with this body-type thing, it's people on my list who are long-time real-life friends, who normally have awesome things to say, who i'm *shocked* to see this sort of thing come from, you know? can't go around hiding all of them...

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#27 of 41 Old 05-03-2010, 03:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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And I love the hide button. There's really only so much of another person's self-induced drama I can really handle.


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#28 of 41 Old 05-03-2010, 04:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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have any of you seen this?

www.theshapeofamother.com
yup, seen it, and have the feed on my googlereader. however, i'm pretty close to removing it, because it seems to be becoming overrun with "i hate my body" posts, which it wasn't when it first started. and while soam's purpose is to honor every mother's journey, reading all that is really becoming a downer for me.

i'm becoming much more partial to the belly project.

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#29 of 41 Old 05-03-2010, 04:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I haven't seen this 'real woman' business (yet, but knowing some of my FB contacts I'm certain it's headed my way). However, the one that circulated a few weeks ago that was a 'prayer' about how the Lord had taken several favorite singers/actors/etc. and concluded by saying Barack Obama was their 'favorite' president (in other words, praying for the death of the President) reallly irked me. I didn't vote for Obama and I really don't like him as a President, but that was just disturbing.
yeah, someone really close to me popped up with that one, and i'm still deciding if i want to say something about it, or just let it go.

christina

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#30 of 41 Old 05-03-2010, 04:10 PM
 
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Originally Posted by lafemmedesfemmes View Post
heh-- i'm quite liberal with my use of the hide button, and facebook's other features that keep people from (repeatedly) asking me to join this mafia or get hired at this cafe. it's a sanity-saver, let me tell you! but with this body-type thing, it's people on my list who are long-time real-life friends, who normally have awesome things to say, who i'm *shocked* to see this sort of thing come from, you know? can't go around hiding all of them...

christina
Ooh, that's a more difficult situation. I think I've been spared all this because the only people who have joined such nonsense are my already-hidden contacts. I'd be torn if a close friend did it.

Facebook is weird. I love it; it helps me keep in contact with people I rarely get to see IRL, but it's weird.

Me+DH+DS1+DS2+Dog=me and a house full of guys, which is really just peachy, thanks.
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