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-   -   I mean really?! Why?!!! (http://www.mothering.com/forum/16-talk-amongst-ourselves/1226567-i-mean-really-why.html)

zippy_francis 05-21-2010 12:03 PM

So on my way into work this fine Friday morning, I am sitting at a red light and look over and what do I see?

A mother (allegedly) sitting in her car smoking with her small child (prob about 10-12 mo old) sitting in a carseat, IN THE FRONT SEAT. Ok so I am so upset for several reasons. One because smoking is DISGUSTING, but hey if you want to kill yourself, by all means do. But not with your kid in the car!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She did have her window down, so hey I guess that was nice of her. Second, a child in the front seat?!! This kid should have been in a car seat, not a booster. In the back, not the front. And rear facing, not facing an airbag!

He was the cutest little boy with his pacifier in his mouth, looking at me playing peekaboo. He made me smile, but his mom made me cry. I mean the chick has a 2005/2006 Mazda 3, so it has a backseat. Why is the kid not in it? She smokes, so clearly she has money for that, but cannot get her child a proper carseat?

When I see stuff like this I just cry, I feel so bad for the kid. I sit and worry how this little kids' life is like and I hope he turns out ok. I am sensitive and this kind of stuff bothers me, a lot. I just try to brush it off. Maybe I am too sensitive or read to much into this stuff. Kind of like when I see a pregnant woman, smoking. Makes me want to go up them and shake some sense into them!

Anyone ever feel like this? Have you ever said or done anything?

earthmama369 05-21-2010 01:21 PM

That's scary. I have called the police a few times when I saw something blatantly dangerous, like a toddler bouncing around freely on the front seat. They ask for the license plate, location (i.e. heading north on 691) and a brief description of what's going on, and if they have a free patrol car in the area, they'll see if they can pull them over and talk to them.

Crystal Pegasus 05-21-2010 02:10 PM

It's actually against the law to smoke in a car with kids in it, where I live. Which I think is great! Of course, you do still occasionally see someone do it. GRRRR

BettinaAuSucre 05-21-2010 02:32 PM

I smoke. And i REFUSE to smoke in my car with my kid in it.

I am going to be quitting before next year so i can TTC smoke free. But i HATE when i see people smoking in cars with kids.

ElaynesMom 05-21-2010 02:41 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Crystal Pegasus View Post
It's actually against the law to smoke in a car with kids in it, where I live. Which I think is great! Of course, you do still occasionally see someone do it. GRRRR
I'm in Ontario Canada and it's illegal here as well. You aren't allowed to smoke in car if there are passangers under 16 years old present.

limabean 05-21-2010 09:06 PM

I would have called the police about the carseat violation. I once saw a 3yo walking around in his family's SUV on the freeway, going almost 80mph, and I called the cops.

liliaceae 05-21-2010 10:23 PM

I would've called the police as well.

zippy_francis 05-22-2010 12:27 AM

It is awesome that other countries at least have laws about smoking, wish ours would catch up!

Yea I think that is route I am taking from now on. Get the cops involved.

Kidzaplenty 05-22-2010 07:18 AM

Maybe the child was not as young as you supposed? I am always a really bad judge of ages in children. (You would think I would be an expert!) But perhaps the child was too large for her bucket seat?

And perhaps the airbag was disabled?

I also think smoking in a car with a baby is just a horrid idea, but it is not against the law in most places (though they did try and pass that locally here a few years ago, but it got shot down).

But, I guess I am playing the devil's advocate here and saying that maybe she was not being as "bad" as we would think.

However, I was not the one there, so I can not really say.

accountclosed3 05-22-2010 08:19 AM

my kid is tall, and people think he is 3/4 and he's 20 months. his buddy, who just turned 3, is *way* smaller than my son, and people think he is 18-20 months. seriously, it's something else! so, here's hoping that he was old enough for a booster (though i agree about the back seat).

otherwise, yeah, annoying.

but i wouldn't assume that he isnt'w ell loved or cared for. some people are just clueless about certain things, but otherwise decent folks.

zippy_francis 05-22-2010 12:31 PM

I agree, kids can look older than they really are and younger too. I try not to be too judgemental, which is why I didnt yell out the window at her. But that is what I wanted to do.

I think the smoking thing is just the worst. Perhaps it is because I grew up in a house with a smoker. And back in the 80's I think it was more socially acceptable than it is now. It was just disgusting, and I think how I must of smelled terrible going to my friends houses smelling like an ashtray. Not to mention the headaches/asthma/illness that I and my siblings dealt with because of a smoker... YUCK!

Avani 05-22-2010 12:43 PM

In California it is illegal to smoke in a car with children in it. I love the progressive smoking laws here. No parks or in front of any stores too. Sad she was doing that. My mom did that with me and my brothers. We hated it.

cycle 05-23-2010 10:04 AM

There are pretty good smoking laws in NJ, and they in some cities it is illegal to smoke in a car with a child and they are trying to pass it and have been or some time state-wide. Its just a matter of time. We are a no smoking in public places state, with in 20 feet (i think) of entrances of buildings, no common areas of multifamily housing, inside and out. It disgusts me that anyone would expose a child to second hand smoke.

On the car seat issue, why didn't you just call the police? I don't understand coming here to complain about it but not actually do anything about it when you could have. Whenever I see that I call, the kids have no voice, there are places that will give parents a car seat. Maybe they just need that jolt of getting pulled over to actually start using one.

SoulCakes 05-23-2010 10:45 AM

My first thought was that she might not even have been his mother. When I was a teenager (18 or 19), I picked up my friend's son and put him and his carseat in the front seat. I didn't know any better!

That might explain the smoking in the car thing, too. I used to smoke, but never, ever when my daughter was in the car.

zippy_francis 05-23-2010 04:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by cycle View Post
On the car seat issue, why didn't you just call the police? I don't understand coming here to complain about it but not actually do anything about it when you could have. Whenever I see that I call, the kids have no voice, there are places that will give parents a car seat. Maybe they just need that jolt of getting pulled over to actually start using one.
As you can see from my original post, I came here asking for thoughts. What would people do or say in that situation.

And then my later post, stated, after seeing alot of people say that calling the police is what they would do, that would be my solution in the future.

I didnt just post this to complain, but thanks for your thoughts none-the-less.

Brittany93 05-24-2010 09:57 PM

This reminds me. I saw the most horrible thing not too long ago. I can't even explain it properly.

As I was driving home I look over to see a baby in a carseat. In a a truck that has NO backseat, the adults are sitting in the front with the baby thrown in the small area behind the seat!! The carseat is sideways and the baby isn't even buckled in properly and he's moving around trying to get out! It's was so freaking dangerous!

The truck I'm talking about is similar to this http://www.agenarisk.com/resources/p...zles/truck.jpg

oh, and I'm pretty sure they were smoking also. the whole thing was so ridiculous!

sapphire_chan 05-24-2010 11:59 PM

Doesn't matter if the kid is old, if they look small enough to still be in a carseat they should still be in one. The next step up from a bucket seat is a larger harnessed seat not a booster.

That said, I wish to goodness someone would do the testing for using the front seat with the airbags turned off. Apparently that's how it's done in Sweden with kids RF for 5+ years. It'd be soooo much easier to have dd right there next to me.

PajamaMama 05-25-2010 12:57 PM

Maybe the baby wasn't the driver's child. Not that it makes the situation okay, but it's possible. I had to have my youngest sister pick my daughter up once when I was in a car accident. She was 8 at the time, so she didn't need a car seat, but if she had, I wouldn't have had a spare. I'm just hoping that it was a one time situation. Seeing things like that stresses me out too. Two evenings ago I was out for a walk with my family and we saw a car drive down the street, an old muscle car convertible, with man, woman, and two kids. There wasn't even a back seat. One kid was on woman's lap, the other was sitting sort of up on the back of the car between the bucket seats.


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