Friends DH has not been paid in months, told her its none of her business! WWYS - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 05-28-2010, 11:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
Tummy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: In her daddys eyes
Posts: 3,413
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have a friend who is in a bad situation, well to me it sounds bad!

Her husband has been working with a man who is starting a new business. It is still in the starting phase, has a name, patents and contracts and such (whatever it entails) have been created... but the company is not 'going' just yet.

Well the situation is:
Her husband has not received a paycheck since MARCH 1ST, yes M.A.R.C.H. first. I guess the guy has given the DH money 'here and there', just enough for gas and such. But no 'paycheck'. I cannot even imagine just how much he is owed. I guess he still goes every day for work even though he his not getting his back pay or present pay.

Her dilemma/problem:
Her DH has told her flat out, straight up... "I will not talk to you about this, it is not any of your business" This being said after many times she has brought it up. According to her, DH gets very defensive and upset and 'does not want to talk about it'. She is at a loss, horribly upset and hurt. This 'situation' is taken away from her family. They had in the past received FS, she reapplied and after the 60day period the case was closed cause there was no 'proof of income' provided. No paycheck stubs to show, no income, right?

She has had to go to the local church for help, they have small children in the home. I know this man is a good man and he wants to provide for his family... as any good man would, but crap, really?!?!?!

What would you suggest to her, advice of any sort is appreciated... I just ask one thing, that this is NOT about how much of a POS her DH is for still working and not getting paid. How she needs to leave him and such... please, none of that. Need more of a positive aspect, ways for her to release her frustration in a creative way to her DH.

Oh, also, I guess the 'reasoning' for him not being up to date on pay is that the company is still trying to get going, that the investments/investors have not come through yet... so essentially the husband is just an "intern" IMO.
Tummy is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 05-28-2010, 11:25 AM
 
karika's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 1,163
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
my immediate thought is he is feeling ashamed for having this happen and wants to keep it all to himself. Or, he invested money and is afraid to tell her. If he is the breadwinner, then it is his thing and she will have to respect him on it until he is ready to open up to her. Maybe if she backs off asking him what is wrong he will start opening up to her. For the time being, she can go and get food at the food pantry in town and apply for food stamps. I do not understand why she is not able to receive food stamps. If there is no income, she should be able to say there is no income. I would call the food stamp office and speak to someone about the case if it were me.

To begin to save the world, we must first nurture the children. Read "The Continuum Concept: In Search of Happiness Lost"    saynovax.gifgoorganic.jpgintactlact.gifMe-hippie.gifreading.gifhelp.gif10.5 yo dd1- nut.gifreading.gifblahblah.gif ; 5 yo dd2- angel.gifhearts.gifbouncy.gif
karika is offline  
Old 05-28-2010, 11:25 AM
 
PoppyMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: In my own delusions.
Posts: 3,126
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
So...he's letting his wife struggle to feed his family while throwing up roadblocks and you want a positive way to work with him? I got nothing. Apparently leaving him is the only way she is going to get her kids fed. He knows their foodstamps were denied because of him and he is neither willing to feed his family nor allow them to be fed by the government.
PoppyMama is offline  
Old 05-28-2010, 11:28 AM
 
PoppyMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: In my own delusions.
Posts: 3,126
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
They were denied the foodstamps because he is working but has no income. You have to provide proof of income for foodstamps and you are capped on time to not be working. A person can't decide to work for free and then expect foodstamps...doesn't work that way. If he is an owner of the business and is just not making any money yet he will have to provide extensive documentation of that.
PoppyMama is offline  
Old 05-28-2010, 11:28 AM
 
Evergreen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Where all the women are strong
Posts: 5,295
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yes, they'll need to sign a zero income statement and they'll probably make him apply for unemployment even if he won't qualify.

If I were her I'd try to get a job or a raise in the meantime.

Seriously, though, the more I think about it- it is her business because it impacts their entire family. He should be more forthcoming with her. Marriage is a partnership and while I'm sure he is afraid of how she'll react they'll probably be stronger when everyone is aware of what is going on and on the same page about how to remedy the situation.

Evergreen- Loving my girls Dylan dust.gifage8, Ava energy.gifage 4 and baby Georgia baby.gif (6/3/11).

Evergreen is offline  
Old 05-28-2010, 11:30 AM
 
Youngfrankenstein's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 2,225
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
You may not have all or even most of the information. I don't know how close you are with this woman but some times people color the story to make it different or more dramatic than it is.

I'm not accusing, but without being truly involved (i.e. in the marriage) you can't really give advice.

Mama to 4. winner.jpghomebirth.jpg
Youngfrankenstein is offline  
Old 05-28-2010, 11:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
Tummy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: In her daddys eyes
Posts: 3,413
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by PoppyMama View Post
If he is an owner of the business and is just not making any money yet he will have to provide extensive documentation of that.
Not an owner as far as I am aware of, but I do not know 100% of the circumstances.
I think that maybe that is part of the problem, there is no documentation of his employment as the 'owner' has been supposedly paying him 'out of pocket-cash'... but hell, if he 'was' paying OOP then why did it stop? I just feel so badly for her.. and yes, she is trying again for FS.
Tummy is offline  
Old 05-28-2010, 11:41 AM
 
PoppyMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: In my own delusions.
Posts: 3,126
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
If that's the case they will have to apply for foodstamps as if he's not working and it will only be temporary and then he will have to show that he got a job.
PoppyMama is offline  
Old 05-28-2010, 11:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
Tummy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: In her daddys eyes
Posts: 3,413
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Evergreen View Post
If I were her I'd try to get a job or a raise in the meantime.
That is where she is at now, trying to find a job with an infant and school age child in the house.. trying to get daycare help to get a job. I do know from my own experience that our area does not help with daycare costs UNLESS you already have a job, you have to prove you work X amount of hours. I can help her with the kids, but I live 45 minutes away and have youngsters in my home as well.
I do know that she has been looking into going back to school, but that will not help with the finances at all.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Evergreen View Post
Seriously, though, the more I think about it- it is her business because it impacts their entire family. He should be more forthcoming with her. Marriage is a partnership and while I'm sure he is afraid of how she'll react they'll probably be stronger when everyone is aware of what is going on and on the same page about how to remedy the situation.
ITA!!!! I belive it is 100% her business... how the h*ll could it not be.? IF HE is the sole provider, only working person in the home, the bread winner... but is not bringing any bread home, well that is hurting HER and their children, not just him.
I am sure that this is embarrassing to him, but at some point I think he needs to stand up for himself and tell his boss, PAY UP OR I AM OUT.. but again, I do not know the entire situation there as pointed out.

She has tried to talk to him, and to be honest, she can have a sharp tongue, but ... I believe my tongue could get kinda sharp if my DP did not bring home any $ for many months also... I think 'maybe' this is why he says he will not talk to her about it... that it is none of her business, but again I BELIEVE IT IS, IT IS IMPACTING THEIR FAMILY AND I SEE JUST HOW DAMN SAD AND HURT SHE IS!!!
Tummy is offline  
Old 05-28-2010, 12:00 PM
 
PoppyMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: In my own delusions.
Posts: 3,126
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
If I was her...and it had gone this far...I would contact the boss and request proof of income from him so I could apply for foodstamps. Let him know that we had been denied due to lack of income records and that the food pantry wasn't cutting it. Sometimes you've got to help yourself when the other parent isn't being responsible for their family.
PoppyMama is offline  
Old 05-28-2010, 12:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
Tummy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: In her daddys eyes
Posts: 3,413
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
poppy, that is a great idea. I know she is going to RE-apply and I will def suggest that she does JUST THAT. In fact maybe just give the FS ppl the boss' number to contact him directly, lol.
Tummy is offline  
Old 05-28-2010, 06:36 PM
 
Magelet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
Posts: 2,697
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
honestly, I would be really mad at both the boss and my DH, if I were her. and I would probably call DH on his bs that it isn't her business.

As a married couple, (and as parents) you are a team. If he won't talk to me, we can't deal with it as a team. I can help him, whether it is dealing with his emotions about it, finding a way to get paid or find other work, whatever, but if he insists on shouldering it himself, and keeping it from her, then he is not pulling his weight in the team. By trying to do it all himself, which he can't do, no one can do it all themself, he will/is failing to carry the load. He needs to share the load, so they can carry/deal with it together.

Though it sounds like her DH isn't listening to her say it. If she isn't saying it already, she needs to be.

Caroline, partner to J, post partum doula, kitchen manager, aspiring midwife, soon to be nursing student, mama to my furbaby, someday a mama to not so furry munchkins, G-d willing
Magelet is offline  
Old 05-28-2010, 07:03 PM
 
JessicaS's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 42,897
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I can see how this would be a very upsetting situation for him. He is trying to provide, is working and is not getting paid. I am sure his pride is hurting and he really is struggling.

He is an "intern" and he isn't *owed* money or is he supposed to be paid when the company gets some money? How much is he working? Is he willing to work in addition to what he is currently working so they can feed the kids? Is there anyone who can watch her children so she can work?

I don't know that getting childcare would help, it might cost her as much as she would make.

It isn't just the lack of pay but complete lack of documentation that is a problem. The person he is working with needs to supply him with some sort of proof he is working.

Not all those who wander are lost 
JessicaS is offline  
Old 05-28-2010, 07:27 PM
 
annethcz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: on the beautiful prairie of MN
Posts: 9,825
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Can she work in the evenings or on the weekends when her DH is home? Maybe a paper route that she can do before her DH goes to work, or she can take her kids with?

New signature, same old me: Ann- mama of 2 boys and 2 girls, partnered to a fabulous man.
I'm an unintentional weasel feeder and I suck at proofreading.
annethcz is offline  
Old 05-28-2010, 07:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
Tummy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: In her daddys eyes
Posts: 3,413
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Wow, I feel all important and stuff, Abimommy posted on my thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by abimommy View Post

He is an "intern" and he isn't *owed* money or is he supposed to be paid when the company gets some money? How much is he working? Is he willing to work in addition to what he is currently working so they can feed the kids? Is there anyone who can watch her children so she can work?
No, he is not an intern.... He is helping get this business going, been there from the word go. He was getting paid for many months (since end of last year I believe) until just recently, well March. He was being paid by the boss/owner out of his pocket, but I guess now that the boss/owner does not have the funds to continue it. Which I personally find absurd!
So yes, he is supposed to be paid, and I guess will be 'caught up' when the business takes off


annethcz, I will bring that suggestion up also! Thank you!
Tummy is offline  
Old 05-28-2010, 10:16 PM
 
wytchywoman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: The Room of Requirement
Posts: 2,862
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm going to through something out here that could be way off base but no one else has suggested the possibility so I will.
Could it be that he really IS getting paid and has an addiction of some sort? Most people understand that finances are a team thing in a marriage, and my gut reaction to his saying " it's none of your business" was that he is fibbing about something. Either he's not working at all ( my BIL told my sister he was working but really got laid off so he would leave the house and go to a park and sleep on a park bench all day) or he could be getting some money and frittering it away on whatever and then saying he didn't get paid but he really did.
Perhaps he is telling the truth and the business is just having a rough time, who knows, but I definitely think she needs to figure out a way to convince the DH to open up about what's happening. This "none of your business" thing would seriously not fly with me. It IS her business, they're married and there's kids involved.

M : proud mama to B (16) : and G (8) and : x 2 :
wytchywoman is offline  
Old 05-28-2010, 11:45 PM
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 4,639
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by wytchywoman View Post
Could it be that he really IS getting paid and has an addiction of some sort? Most people understand that finances are a team thing in a marriage, and my gut reaction to his saying " it's none of your business" was that he is fibbing about something. Either he's not working at all ( my BIL told my sister he was working but really got laid off so he would leave the house and go to a park and sleep on a park bench all day) or he could be getting some money and frittering it away on whatever and then saying he didn't get paid but he really did.
These were my thoughts. Something is off here. Marital finances are just that - marital. It *is* her business.

love.gif

pinksprklybarefoot is offline  
Old 05-29-2010, 12:12 AM - Thread Starter
 
Tummy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: In her daddys eyes
Posts: 3,413
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thank you everyone!

I do not believe that an addiction is in play here, but then again, you NEVER know!

I would hate to think that someone was cause such pain and suffering in their own home, to their spouse and children. On the other hand, I do know it happens!
Tummy is offline  
Old 05-29-2010, 02:14 AM
 
fierrbugg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: keeping a comfortable distance . .
Posts: 1,017
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by karika View Post
my immediate thought is he is feeling ashamed for having this happen and wants to keep it all to himself. Or, he invested money and is afraid to tell her. If he is the breadwinner, then it is his thing and she will have to respect him on it until he is ready to open up to her. Maybe if she backs off asking him what is wrong he will start opening up to her.
This. If your friend has a 'sharp tongue' and let's be honest in a marriage we all know each other's buttons - then it's possible that he isn't hearing what she's actually saying about feeding the kids, but rather is hearing her affirm things he probably already feels about himself - loser, failure, who can't provide for his family, etc. Yes, he does need to provide *something* to feed his family, and I'm sure he knows that no cash inflow in 2 months is not acceptable. When he says that it's not her business, I think that's just him being defensive. Of course it's her business. I agree that her backing off of him and doing whatever it is she needs to in order to make sure that her kids eat (job, fs, etc.), since their father isn't equipped to do so at this point will give him the space he needs to process everything. Hopefully then he will come to her with whatever is happening and once she's listened (and not condemned him for it) they can tackle it together. And if it's something that can end the marriage - then she'll hopefully be in a better situation where she can walk away if needed.

Oh - How gullible is he? It seems like this boss is just promising some big payoff in the future if he just hangs on a little bit longer. What is he going to do if that day never comes?

~T | head-strong ap mama to 2 fur-kids | TTC since 2001 | remembering 8/00, 5/04, 1/07 & fur-kids, Apollo (04/03-12/09), Bella (04/06-06/12) & Keevah (06/03-04/14)
fierrbugg is offline  
Old 05-29-2010, 02:28 AM
 
PuppyFluffer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: East Coast, USA
Posts: 9,029
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've not read anything beyond the OP but my first thought was drug use.

"To err is human, to forgive, canine." - Unknown
PuppyFluffer is offline  
Old 05-29-2010, 02:33 AM
 
Starflower's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Western WA
Posts: 2,419
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My DH's company had people who were working without pay for awhile - BY CHOICE. (They were either independently wealthy or have highly paid working spouses and were waiting it out for the company to make it.) We cannot afford this so if he had not been paid, he would've had to leave. We did have several late paychecks which caused a lot of tension between us (I am a SAHM.) We ended up agreeing that if the paycheck weren't stable by XX date, then he'd look for a new job. He really believed in the company and luckily for him it began to stabilize. But since he is our sole income provider - it was definitely my business. We are partners and have a family to manage.

If her DH has a job with no income and they have no savings/investments/other income to live on then there is a big problem. If he says it's not her business - big red flag. I don't care what his issues are. I know the economy sucks. Either he is hiding something or needs to get a grip on reality - in either case, he needs a new job or needs to let her in on what's going on to see if she can support him until things even out at this job and he is getting paid again.

I am a 40 year old unschooling, belly dancing, artist-mama of one almost 8 year old. I just had brain surgery and blogging.jpg about it a bit because it's just so surreal.
Starflower is offline  
Old 05-29-2010, 04:30 AM
 
sunnysandiegan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 4,404
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My DH has worked for a new start-up company without pay and with the promise of back-pay, etc.

The key differences:
1) It wasn't his MAIN job. He worked full-time in a paying job and part-time in the start up company.
(He did get paid eventually, and a lot, to the point of being ready to quit the "regular" full-time job in order to work full-time at the start up. BUT, that is when the start-up went down the tubes due to the economy, so it never actually transpired. DH was paid very well when all was said and done, but some dollar amounts still trickle in here and there.)

2) DH & I communicated about the situation often and we had other financial means for a period of time that we both agreed upon.
(Even though it was only part-time, this unpaid work impacted our family and marriage since DH was unavailable to participate in the family/marriage while doing the work. There was no compensation to make it worth it to me at that time, so I was willing to go along with it only for a specified period of time. All involved understood and agreed. He still does some work for this company with no pay, but it is at a "hobby" level now and has virtually no impact on our family or marriage.)

Completely different than the friend of the OP, but I wanted to point out that it CAN be done where the friend and the DH (and the boss/company) are all on the same page. In my case, I knew/know the owner personally and really like him. However, I let DH handle the business relationship. It was their deal, not mine. My responsibility was to my family and I spoke up when necessary. DH did get defensive, too, and it was challenging for awhile. I cannot imagine the stress of this situation when it is the full-time, main/only job and children are not being fed!

"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." - Mother Teresa

sunnysandiegan is offline  
Old 05-29-2010, 05:51 AM
 
Viola's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Nevada
Posts: 22,549
Mentioned: 4 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 10 Post(s)
Honestly, to me it just sounds like he's in a business that is starting up and he may not get a paycheck for awhile. A friend was telling me about her husband, how he's going to get a paycheck finally after many months. He apparently is in some sort of insurance sales type of job where he took over a territory, or so he thought, but it was more like he had to build up a client base first. We've also had a friend who worked for a very small start-up and was getting paid in stock options and things that weren't tangible yet, since the company wasn't publicly traded. Yet another friend who wanted to get his website off the ground, he thought it could make money, but it never did, and he finally had to get another job after the savings ran out. He had a partner and a child, but he was pretty adamant about what he would and wouldn't do in regards to getting a job and childcare. So the mother went to school to get a teaching degree, and when she was done she moved away with the child, taking a job in another state.

It sounds like he wants to continue to do this work because he thinks it will pay off, but he doesn't want to open this part of his life up for discussion which is why he tells her it's none of her business. And, honestly, if you are married, this just doesn't work, I don't think you have the expectation of that kind of privacy. Yes, it's his life, but once you are partnered and have children together, you can't just do what you want to do without any input from those in your family. But ultimately your friend can only control what she does with her life, and she may need to get her own job. If he's unwilling or unable to help with caring for the children, hopefully there are some good options for her once she has a paycheck. I think she should see what services are available for someone in her situation.
Viola is online now  
Old 05-29-2010, 08:41 AM
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 4,669
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
A lot of people work in hopes of getting a big pay off in the end.My brother did that with a scammer who made thousands,and left my brother with bad credit and homeless.It happens.My SIL worked for a company that went bankrupt.She lost enough money to buy a car.She,along with others,filed suit but that has been years ago.

The dh really needs to accept the fact that his behavior affects his family.It is FINE if he wants to wait this out hoping it pays off.It probably won't,but that is his right.The wife and children have rights too. He needs to make sure he does what he can for the family.His marriage affects the wifes ability to get help. If he is not willing to do this .....she needs to do this for herself and children.

Personally it would create a bit of resentment on my part if my dh acted like this.Maybe her approach makes him shut down.They really need to talk about wants,needs,hopes,and dreams.They are a family.A team.If not together COMPLETELY then what is the point of being together in a home?It is like having a freeloader roommate.

My dh switched jobs years ago to make a better income for the family.It is not easy giving up certain dreams,or not using your college education for a job.He did it and we are making it.

For childcare has she considered a sahm?I am a sahm and would LOVE to earn a little extra.I know how childcare cost is,and would take less money.It would be less,but still more than nothing.So both mom and sahm would benefit.If anything ever happened to my dh I would hook up with another mom,and we would work together to make it for our kids.

Hope things work out for this friend.Hopefully the dh will open up.Just being honest and open can make things better mentally in the home even if finances will still stink.
mattemma04 is offline  
Old 05-31-2010, 02:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
Tummy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: In her daddys eyes
Posts: 3,413
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS POSTED HERE!!!

She has read all of your replies.

#1. No drug use. He has a HUGE issue with addicts. He is not a drug user himself, never has been. (occasional mj but none in nearly 2 full years himself). He is not drinking either.

#2. She believes it is true that he feels bad about this situation. He shuts down, so to speak, so that he does not have to deal with the feelings of being inadequate (her words).

#3. She has not told him this yet, but she plans to leave and go to her moms house with the kids once school is out, in a couple weeks, *IF* he has not been paid up at least half of the $ owed.

#4. This job for him is a career. It WILL be huge once it takes off, but the problem is, WHEN WILL IT TAKE OFF?!?!

She is going to check with the local collage about getting into a few classes and also find a pt/ft job. Once she does, there is a program (I believe governmental?) that will help her with daycare costs... but she has to have employment proof or class proof FIRST.

I know this is killing her. She has been a SAHM for some time and does not want to send her babies to daycare! (have someone else raise them)

She is going to send her DH an email... sounds kinda cheesy and thoughtless.. BUT, I know this way she can get her point across and actually think about what she wants to say so that she is not told that it is none of her business. I know that when she, in these past months/weeks, has tried to talk to him about it, it ends up in a fight and her being told not to ask about it, talk about it again, none of her business.... so email is not a bad idea I guess.


THANK YOU AGAIN EVERYONE!
Tummy is offline  
Old 05-31-2010, 02:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
Tummy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: In her daddys eyes
Posts: 3,413
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh boy, guess she sent the BOSS an email this am.... got into her DH email and found three addresses for the boss and sent him an email, also CC it to her DH.

She said he has not read it yet, she checked The DH has not read it yet that is... but it said that she needed gas an food money, that she knew it was not her place to ask for such but that this has gone on for too long and something needed to be done! That $9.00 in CHANGE was not good enough.!!!

Last wed the boss gave her DH $5.00 in quarters and $4.00 in half dollars!!! WOW
Tummy is offline  
Old 05-31-2010, 03:44 PM
 
PoppyMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: In my own delusions.
Posts: 3,126
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I like this woman
PoppyMama is offline  
Old 06-01-2010, 02:28 AM
 
pauletoy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,085
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tummy View Post
Oh boy, guess she sent the BOSS an email this am.... got into her DH email and found three addresses for the boss and sent him an email, also CC it to her DH.

She said he has not read it yet, she checked The DH has not read it yet that is... but it said that she needed gas an food money, that she knew it was not her place to ask for such but that this has gone on for too long and something needed to be done! That $9.00 in CHANGE was not good enough.!!!

Last wed the boss gave her DH $5.00 in quarters and $4.00 in half dollars!!! WOW

Good for her. I can't wait to hear the response/excuse.

Wife of 20 years to my superhero firefighting DH. SAHM to 2 boys and 2 girls (3 babies in Heaven- Baby # 5 5/2010 & Baby #6 8/2011 & Baby # 7 2/1013). Cancer Survivor 2011 ( Persistent Malignant Gestational Trophoblastic Disease)

pauletoy is offline  
Old 06-01-2010, 09:11 AM - Thread Starter
 
Tummy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: In her daddys eyes
Posts: 3,413
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by pauletoy View Post
Good for her. I can't wait to hear the response/excuse.
Oh yes, it is a good one, I was going to post last night, but never got online.. her DH did read the email and sent one to the boss himself.... I will be back in a while to post what happened as I am running out the house in just a few minutes...

my little girl is graduating 1st grade today
Tummy is offline  
Old 06-01-2010, 03:14 PM
 
Kristine233's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Way Northern MN
Posts: 3,973
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Kudos to her for taking initiative. Her DH should at the very least take on a part time job so his family can have the basic essentials, like FOOD. I hope the boss and husband took the email well and realize the severity of the situation.

Mom to Joscelyne 14, Andrew 12, and Mackenzie 10 and wife to Nate.
Kristine233 is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off