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#1 of 27 Old 06-01-2010, 06:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I've been thinking about this a lot lately and want to hear what people think.

I have a bunch of 'friends' - about 250 or so. Many are acquaintances, old work colleagues, people from grade school, people I met once....I 'privated' my status, etc. so only about 2 dozen (seriously!) of these people can read it. Got me thinking that gee, do I *need* 250 people who can still read my Notes and view my pictures? It feels like deadweight in a way...in the beginning, when most people signed up for FB, there was the 'friend frenzy' where you friended everyone and vice versa. Now that things have settled down, it just feels...silly.

Someone just put on their status that they'll be pruning their list, and for people to please not be offended by this. I might copy it and do the same.

Have you pruned? Did you notify people first? Who did you cut? Who did you keep?
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#2 of 27 Old 06-01-2010, 06:35 PM
 
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Yes I have reduced friends on my FB and I feel a lot better. I received several emails from people who felt bad about it and I explained that what they did to me was nothing bad or personal but I felt I needed to keep friends' list short to people I get in touch with on frequent basis like close friends and family.



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Originally Posted by Cascadian View Post
I've been thinking about this a lot lately and want to hear what people think.

I have a bunch of 'friends' - about 250 or so. Many are acquaintances, old work colleagues, people from grade school, people I met once....I 'privated' my status, etc. so only about 2 dozen (seriously!) of these people can read it. Got me thinking that gee, do I *need* 250 people who can still read my Notes and view my pictures? It feels like deadweight in a way...in the beginning, when most people signed up for FB, there was the 'friend frenzy' where you friended everyone and vice versa. Now that things have settled down, it just feels...silly.

Someone just put on their status that they'll be pruning their list, and for people to please not be offended by this. I might copy it and do the same.

Have you pruned? Did you notify people first? Who did you cut? Who did you keep?

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#3 of 27 Old 06-01-2010, 06:38 PM
 
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I haven't, but I don't friend anyone I don't want seeing my stuff, and don't post anything too juicy.

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#4 of 27 Old 06-01-2010, 06:38 PM
 
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My FaceBook has three folders. "Family", "star", and "favorite things". Favorite things is for bands and stuff. The family group is for my closet friends and family. People in that group have access to all my facebook stuff. People in the star group don't have access to my wall and notes and some picture folders.

If someone doesn't get to know me enough online (or in person) that I move them to my family group, then they'll probably get deleted eventually. I prune down that list all the time. I like to keep my facebook kind of private.

MySpace is another story. I have thousands of friends on there and that's kind of the place where I just let it all hang out.

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#5 of 27 Old 06-01-2010, 06:38 PM
 
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I don't prune, but I do "hide" people. I have over 600 friends, but I only see updates from around 40 - 50. That way, I still have the connection with the others, like alumni from college, etc, but I don't need to see there status updates taht mean nothing to me
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#6 of 27 Old 06-01-2010, 06:42 PM
 
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I do it randomly and no, I don't give notice. I am mean like that.
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#7 of 27 Old 06-01-2010, 06:54 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blizzard_babe View Post
I haven't, but I don't friend anyone I don't want seeing my stuff, and don't post anything too juicy.
same here. I only have 126 friends (I just checked), so it doesn't feel like a ton, and I don't post super intimate things (plus, my parents and IL's are on there, so I censor myself).

I do think making the lists and separating 'friends' by category is what a lot of people do to help personalize who sees what. I'm just too lazy for that, I guess.

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#8 of 27 Old 06-01-2010, 07:00 PM
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I do prune the list once in a while and no, I don't give notice beforehand. I'll just go through once in a while and remove some.
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#9 of 27 Old 06-01-2010, 07:23 PM
 
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When I was on FB, if I never had direct communication with someone beyond the initial "Hey, I know you!" thing, I unfriended them. I would wait maybe 2-3 months, and try messaging them once or twice, but once it became clear that I was just going to interact with them via their status updates, I deleted them.

And once that happened several times I became much much more selective about who I friended, only accepting requests from people with whom I actually had a relationship outside of FB.

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#10 of 27 Old 06-01-2010, 07:37 PM
 
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I prune my friends list every couple months. After I'd been out of college for a while, I un-friended all the people I just casually knew or added because we had a class together or something. Since some of the privacy settings can only be set to "friends of friends" I try to be really selective about who I'm friends with because I know that their friends will then get some access to my profile (they can friend me, for example).
I never give any notice. The people I delete are generally people who I've maybe posted on their wall once or twice (and v.v.) in 2 years or something.

I do have different friend groups, but I always forget to use them.

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#11 of 27 Old 06-01-2010, 10:07 PM
 
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When you un-friend someone, does it send them a notice? Or do they just realize if/when they actually look at their list of friends and realize someone's not there anymore?

One reason to consider keeping people, but putting them in a different category of visibility/accessibility is for networking. DH and I would like to move, and just like I wouldn't mind telling someone I knew 15 years ago about our current city, any contact we have, it'd be nice to be in touch with people who may be willing to help out in that way. Not a big imposition or commitment, but helpful and friendly.
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#12 of 27 Old 06-01-2010, 10:53 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tanyalynn View Post
When you un-friend someone, does it send them a notice? Or do they just realize if/when they actually look at their list of friends and realize someone's not there anymore?
FB doesn't send people a notice when you unfriend them. They just realize they've not heard from you in a while or haven't seen you on their news feed, and then it dawns on them! :-P

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#13 of 27 Old 06-01-2010, 11:54 PM
 
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I prune once every few months. I don't give a notice. If you do, it's just calling attention to it. I would rather do it on a low-key level. My reasons for pruning vary.

#1 You will get pruned if I am blocked from your wall or your pics. If you can see me, then I expect to see you. Otherwise, we're not close enough to be "friends."

#2 If I saw you at the grocery store, would I stop and say hi? Or would I turn around and run the other direction? If you fall into the latter, you will be pruned.

#3 We were romantically involved ever? Then I only friended you to see if you traded up or down. You will be pruned.

As you can imagine, my friends list is pretty small.

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#14 of 27 Old 06-02-2010, 04:34 AM
 
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I do prune once in a while and no, I don't give notice.

Any misspellings or grammatical errors in the above statement are intentional;
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
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#15 of 27 Old 06-02-2010, 11:10 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tayndrewsmama View Post
I do it randomly and no, I don't give notice. I am mean like that.
me too.
I call it 'cleaning house'.

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#16 of 27 Old 06-02-2010, 11:12 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SuburbanHippie View Post
I prune once every few months. I don't give a notice. If you do, it's just calling attention to it. I would rather do it on a low-key level. My reasons for pruning vary.

#1 You will get pruned if I am blocked from your wall or your pics. If you can see me, then I expect to see you. Otherwise, we're not close enough to be "friends."

#2 If I saw you at the grocery store, would I stop and say hi? Or would I turn around and run the other direction? If you fall into the latter, you will be pruned.

#3 We were romantically involved ever? Then I only friended you to see if you traded up or down. You will be pruned.

As you can imagine, my friends list is pretty small.
Thanks Mama!! This made me laugh!!!

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#17 of 27 Old 06-02-2010, 03:41 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tradd View Post
FB doesn't send people a notice when you unfriend them. They just realize they've not heard from you in a while or haven't seen you on their news feed, and then it dawns on them! :-P
Thanks. You can tell I'm still fairly new to FB, an not a heavy user.

OP--I don't have enough friends to need pruning.
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#18 of 27 Old 06-03-2010, 03:44 AM
 
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Crazy fb story...

I did some pruning and had some serious backlash. I had a friend's husband (I know her from the local homeschool group) request me as a friend... so even though I don't like to friend people I don't talk to regularly I accepted. Well, it turns out he and I have VERY different political beliefs and I was seriously getting tired and annoyed by some of his postings. So one day I unfriended him, not thinking too much of it. I don't talk to this guy. I don't even really know him... just got together for group family things a couple of times. A couple of weeks later my DH got annoyed by his postings and unfriended him, along with quite a few others, too. No big deal, right?

Well, so we thought. This friend sent me a message asking if we had unfriended her husband because of his political postings. So I was honest and told her yes, that we respect her husbands thoughts and beliefs, we just didn't want to read it and found some of it offensive. I made it clear that it was nothing personal and we thought her DH was a "great guy." She apologized and I accepted. End of story. Or so I thought.

Turns out she was pissed!!! She wouldn't talk to me when I saw her at different functions and when I tried to apologize in person for any hard feelings our facebook debacle had caused she was obviously irritated weeks later. It was so much drama! You'd think a nearly 40 year old woman wouldn't get so worked up over something as stupid as facebook. It's just a freakin' social networking site people!! It's not real life.

DH and I have since been "unfriended" by her. I guess she was getting us back. I must admit, it was nice to finally be cut free from all the drama.
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#19 of 27 Old 06-03-2010, 03:47 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SuburbanHippie View Post
I prune once every few months. I don't give a notice. If you do, it's just calling attention to it. I would rather do it on a low-key level. My reasons for pruning vary.

#1 You will get pruned if I am blocked from your wall or your pics. If you can see me, then I expect to see you. Otherwise, we're not close enough to be "friends."

#2 If I saw you at the grocery store, would I stop and say hi? Or would I turn around and run the other direction? If you fall into the latter, you will be pruned.

#3 We were romantically involved ever? Then I only friended you to see if you traded up or down. You will be pruned.

As you can imagine, my friends list is pretty small.
This is too funny!!! I love it.
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#20 of 27 Old 06-03-2010, 11:30 AM
 
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I do pretty much exactly like SuburbanHippie (post totally cracked me up btw). I don't announce it, I just do it. It feels good.

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#21 of 27 Old 06-03-2010, 12:01 PM
 
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nope. still relatively new to FB though. at the 100 friend place now.

i could see the need if i get above 150 or so but unless they annoyed the heck out of me i would probably just block from my feed.

i'm not super active though. i like seeing pics and stuff but i only post an update maybe once a week. could be longer.
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#22 of 27 Old 06-03-2010, 03:11 PM
 
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I just cut back on friends yesterday, I deleted about 30 or so. It was people from high school I really haven't talked to, or never even talked to then. If it was people I don't talk with, I do not need them on my facebook! I call it weeding the friend garden!

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#23 of 27 Old 06-03-2010, 05:14 PM
 
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I only have around 30 friends on FB so no need to prune. They're mostly family and close friends and a few very old friends I'm not close to anymore but still want to keep in touch with and FB is our only link. Sometimes I think about deleting my account but I don't want to offend anyone (my MIL in particular).
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#24 of 27 Old 06-03-2010, 06:05 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Purple Sage View Post
Sometimes I think about deleting my account but I don't want to offend anyone (my MIL in particular).
Why would anyone be offended if you deleted your account? I can see how your MIL could be offended if you just unfriended her, but if she asked why you deleted your account you could just say something neutral like, "Oh, FB just wasn't for me" -- how is that offensive?

(I'm curious because I did delete my account, and it never occurred to me that anyone would find that offensive.)

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#25 of 27 Old 06-03-2010, 06:09 PM
 
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I actually just pruned yesterday. I only have 63 people on my friends list now and I still feel like there are too many people and should delete more. I don't want to go through and make lists or decide who can see what so I try to keep my facebook just people I don't mind seeing everything.... and if we haven't had any communication in a long time, you are probably going to get deleted.

But, I also don't put REALLY personal stuff up anyway. At this point, I only have facebook to make it easier for my mom to see grandbaby pictures. My statuses rarely get deeper than 'I REALLY REALLY don't want to clean... I think I'll go eat cake instead.'

I could go days without checking it and not miss a thing haha
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#26 of 27 Old 06-04-2010, 12:50 AM
 
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I prune quite a bit. A lot more often now that my daughter is here.

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#27 of 27 Old 06-04-2010, 08:32 PM
 
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Originally Posted by SuburbanHippie View Post
#3 We were romantically involved ever? Then I only friended you to see if you traded up or down. You will be pruned.
LMAO. Also, I read this in my head like Ted Allen would say "You have been chopped
Quote:
Originally Posted by tayndrewsmama View Post
I do it randomly and no, I don't give notice. I am mean like that.
^that.

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