|View Poll Results: Do people throw showers after the firest baby where you live?|
|All the time||30||25.21%|
|Voters: 119. You may not vote on this poll|
so people usually turn up with a gift of their own choosing or arrange to drop by "to see the baby" or post something in the mail, usually AFTER you've sent them a birth announcement (which can be VERY simple, for my first child, I just sent a photo taken on the day of the birth, and wrote the vital statistics an name on stickers that I factory lined slapped at the back of each photo & stuffed the prepared enveloppes I had braught at the maternity, I did it in the middle of the night after the second night feed when I couldn't go back to sleep...)
usually presents are clothes, although co-workers usully ask in advance and make a group present that can be big/something that was needed)
my second baby was so tiny & people usually don't want to buy "birth size" so much so that 90% of the clothing I got ended up not the right season ...
That said, if invited I will usually send a gift if it's someone close but I don't feel obligated to go.
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
Now baby gifts sent in response to an announcement, I think those are common with siblings. I got a number of gifts for my second child. I also didn't get gifts from some people, which is fine, it's just sometimes people will send personalized keepsake gifts for the first child, so it seems like if you are going to send a gift, it would be when it was something personalized, you know? I'm talking grandparents, not friends.
But I have to say I'd just go and have a good time at any shower. I might downgrade my gift for a second, or focus on something for the mother.
ETA: I had a mother's blessing for my second, and my MIL tried to throw me a baby shower but it was a bust... and I expected it to be.
The Hippie & the Marine
My boys: S (4) & O (2) & Expecting #3 in Dec. 2011
As I said in the other thread, even my friend who had her 7th child had a shower, well actually two - one from her friends and one from church.
It's not just about getting "stuff" for the baby, it's mostly just an excuse to get together and talk about baby related things, see the new arrival etc.
Regardless of how much stuff you may already have, it's aways nice to have *some* new things for each child.
AND after 2-3 kids, a lot of essentials can be pretty used up.
DH and I - totally winging life with our four children, DS1 (6.5yrs), DS2 (5yrs), DD (3yrs) and DS3 (1)!
SOMETIMES if the second child is a different sex, MAYBE. My mom had one with my sister (her sister threw it for her) but me and my sister are 14.5 years apart. She had NOTHING but a few fav outfits from when I was little. No toys, clothes, gear. She needed EVERYTHING, and my sister was a definete surprise.
I have heard of Diaper showers. If someone wanted to throw a shower for me with DS2, it would have been for all the necessities, diapers, wipes, baby wash, etc. But I wouldnt have registered anywhere, which is expected for showers around here.
I also think that the work showers are usually done when the co worker is the one pregant. I wouldnt expect an office to throw me a baby shower if my husband was who they worked with.
I am on kiddo #5, and I got a baby shower.. My youngest is 5, we moved two years ago, and this is our first girl.. so people were asking me if I was going to get one so they could come.. Pretty sure I have only had two baby showers.. this one (last month) and one that was 13 years ago.
In 13 years time, my first son's crib was recalled, I have tossed out expired carseats (more than I care to think about actually), downsized (considerably) baby clothing due to a move.. and dealt with a house flood/mold issues.. discovered what BPA was, and realized my oldest's bottle had it and tossed them.. do people really expect baby stuff to last?
I had ONE person remark about "baby showers for first time moms" before I was even pregnant.. I was pretty surprised, but then the person making the remark was from Texas originally and is over 60 years old, and not a mom at all so I think she had a different mindset than everyone else I know.
I personally have no problem going to showers for each baby. I love hanging out with my friends and having good food and company.
I love my girlsMadaline(9), Mary-Grace(7), Georgia(3), & Evelyn(1)
I haven't read all the responses but I just wanted to write that this is one instance where I say etiquette be damned.
I don't care how many babies someone has or how many showers someone has, it is always fun in my community/circle of friends/family to have a little celebration when someone is expecting a baby. I have never thought badly of someone for having a baby shower for a 2nd, 3rd, etc. baby. Never. I really enjoy shopping for something thoughtful for the new baby, maybe something that I found very useful for my children or that I know they don't have. I also always include something for special for the mom, bc all moms deserve a litte pampering after having a new baby, even if it's not their first.
In my experience the moms to be whose showers I have been invited to were not entitled, worried about the gifts types of people.
So I say party on! No matter what you call it, whether gifts are brought or not (and IME most people LOVE baby shopping, even for something small), having a new baby is something to celebrate. Plus, not everything from the first baby can be reused, there are many things that a new mother might need for a subsequent child. If I knew anyone who was the type of person to tsk tsk over this kind of thing I wouldn't really want them to come anyway.
So many factors influence it though. When my dp's brothers wife had a baby almost 2 years ago dp's mom threw her a baby shower. DP's brothers wife has another child (who was 7ish when the baby was born) BUT that boy was from a different relationship and the mom/boy recently moved from Canada to Kentucky so didn't have any baby stuff.
I have one ds, who is 6. DP and I will probably try to have another baby in 4ish years so ds will be 10ish. DS is not dp's bio-child. I would be shocked if dp's mom didn't throw a baby shower if/when I get pregnant, even though I have another child. I have absolutely nothing from when ds was a baby (except a few special outfits) so it would be much appreciated
Steph, DH Jason (1-1-11), DS Owen (10-3-03) and DS Kai (10-13-11)
HOWEVER - if I ever get pregnant with a boy (big IF ) I will get someone to throw me a shower............I literally have NOTHING for a boy since my husband loves the color pink and everything but the crib would have to be bought
A wife and forever in love with J - Mom to 4 girls K '01' J '06' M '08' & A '11'
They said, "You need someone to throw it? I'll throw it. You can just have it at your house. It will be so much fun. I can't believe you weren't going to have one! Why isn't your mom throwing one for you?"
My answer, "No thank you.... and at my house!? So you want me to have to deal with cleaning, keeping my dogs quiet, letting a bunch of other kids tare my house apart, dishes, and having to entertain and keep everyone happy and included. Like I said, thanks but NO THANKS! Oh, and my mom isn't throwing one for me because she knows me much better than that!"
People here also seem to like to have an engagement party, bridal shower, bachlorette party, bachlor party, co-ed pre wedding party, reception, and maybe even another informal type of reception after the honeymoon.... followed by a house or apartment warming party... then a baby shower! I think people are just cheap around here and try to rake in as much free stuff and excuses to get drunk as possible. *shrug*