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#1 of 63 Old 07-09-2010, 11:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Please share your moments and don't let me be alone in feeling like a big freakish loser.

Tonight I was outside a building,as I look at the front lawn there was a ground hog pigging out on the grass. I said "hi big fattie! your cute!" then I giggled as I walked closer to the ground hog. The ground hog saw me, bolted towards the building and dashed into the bushes. I turned to head back to the building and go inside just as a rather large woman came around the corner where the ground hog dove into the bushes.
She gave me a bit of a look. It did not look particularily hurt or angry...so I am really hoping she did not hear me and think I was talking to her, but I can't be sure. I felt really dumb

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#2 of 63 Old 07-09-2010, 11:44 PM
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Years ago, my son thought the word "punt" was funny. He heard it when we were tossing a football around outside. When he was being sassy or fresh, I would tell him that I was going to punt his hiney across the room, and he would crack up laughing....both of us would, actually. (I just want to mention that this was in jest; I would never kick my kid). We both had this visual of him sailing into the air like a football, which was just funny to us.

Anyway, I was in the supermarket with him....he was about 5yo. He was being whiney. I told him, "All your whining makes me want to punt you." But I talk fast and wasn't enunciating very well, so it sounded like "punch you." The lady in front of me in line gave me the dirtiest look.
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#3 of 63 Old 07-10-2010, 12:06 AM
 
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Bunnyslippers, Glad to know I'm not the only one that thinks chubby groundhogs are cute! They are just adorable little critters!

"To err is human, to forgive, canine." - Unknown
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#4 of 63 Old 07-10-2010, 12:14 AM
 
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Umm, I dipped shrimp into a finger bowl because I thought the liquid was a sauce. Even commented on how subtly seasoned it was.

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#5 of 63 Old 07-10-2010, 01:11 AM
 
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Oh, thanks for the hilarity! I have so many awkward moments. I'll have to think of the best one.

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#6 of 63 Old 07-10-2010, 01:14 AM
 
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Well I fell down the stairs...at my husband's work. Screamed like a banchee (and then cried) because it hurt, and because I was holding the baby. I think it was DH's first month there?

What a way to introduce myself!
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#7 of 63 Old 07-10-2010, 01:35 AM
 
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#8 of 63 Old 07-10-2010, 05:40 AM
 
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Well. There was this time when I was twelve at school, and my teacher paired me up with a new girl in our class and told us to Be Friends. She was new, shy, Asian and didn't speak much English; I was just generally awkward and didn't have a clue how to Be Friends with someone with a teacher watching in the background. So, awkward. She showed me some photos of her dog, we made some halting small talk and departed gratefully for other places.

Then a few days later I saw her by the bus, hugging a small and very cute dog. With a look of sanctimonious Good Friendliness and racial harmony on my face I approached her and said "Aww, what a cute dog! He looks so much cuter than in his picture!". She gave me a quizzical look, so I spent some time carefully repeating and enunciating the sentence. Turned out the dog she was holding wasn't her dog. We never did become friends.

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#9 of 63 Old 07-10-2010, 10:13 AM
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In college, we had a roommate who "lived" with us (paid rent, had a bed in our house, etc.), but was actually living with her boyfriend and put the whole thing together so her mom wouldn't know . She came home about once every two months to get a book she wanted or something.

DH (then my boyfriend) and I had the place to ourselves because my other roommate was out of town. We thought we would have some fun and fool around in the garage (washer and dryer were there ). Of course she picked THAT DAY to come home and say "Hi! Oh...."
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#10 of 63 Old 07-10-2010, 12:51 PM
 
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The other week my dd and I were at the hardware store. She had walked to the back counter where they keep all the keys and 'fancy' key rings. I walked back to where she was, wrinkled my nose and said(not loadly but not quietly), "Eww, it stinks. Did you fart?"

As we walked up the aisle, she whispered to me, "Mommy, I didn't fart, it was the guy next to me that smelled."

Ooops

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#11 of 63 Old 07-10-2010, 02:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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thanks for sharing, I feel less lonely in my awkwardness now

Decluttering 500/2010
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#12 of 63 Old 07-10-2010, 03:21 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Cascadian View Post
Hee hee...I have so many...how about this:

In high school, BF and I played hooky to go to his house, close by, to...uh...yeah. He resided in the basement of his parents' house, where the laundry room was. We must have surprised his dad, a snooty psychiatrist who I really did not like, as dad was rummaging around in the laundry bin, wearing only black work socks. We got a full frontal as we walked by, with a look of absolute mortification on ALL of our faces.

We never spoke of it. He never asked why we were home in the middle of the day.

Awk. Ward.

But it makes me giggle to this day, because he was a racist jerk


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#13 of 63 Old 07-10-2010, 05:50 PM
 
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My HOH child often dopped the first sounds of words. Top become op

Well we were in a store with this HUGE blow up Tigger. She loved Tigger. She started to point and scream igger, igger, igger. Of course, at that moment I think we were the only white people in the store. There was a guy looking all angry and outraged until this old lady started laughing and pointed out the huge blow up Tigger to him.

My son didn't always pronounce the word pitch correctly. Imagine the thrill of having him scream "PITCH" the ball loudly in front of a group of long haired, dress wearing, bible thumping women. It didn't sound like pitch at all.
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#14 of 63 Old 07-10-2010, 08:55 PM
 
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When dd was 3 or 4 we were at an appt and her Ped was making small talk with her while doing the physical exam portion. Dd, who has always been very social, was responding to his questions in her bubbly, happy way when he asked what her favorite food was. Well, we had just been to a restaurant where she had some fish, so she looked right at him and said "fish!" Only back then, her f sounded like a b, and her sh sounded more like a ch. He looked straight at me and I didn't know if he actually understood what she was saying or if he really thought she just yelled out a curse word. And as the silence grew longer I got so nervous and embarrassed that I just didn't know what to say. He just kind of mumbled something about an ear infection, wrote me a script and left in a hurry. Luckily we moved not long after that so I never saw him again, but oh man, was that a seriously awkward moment!
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#15 of 63 Old 07-10-2010, 09:17 PM
 
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Bunnyslippers, Glad to know I'm not the only one that thinks chubby groundhogs are cute! They are just adorable little critters!
they are fat because they like nilla wafers. at least the one we had when i was a vet assistant did

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#16 of 63 Old 07-10-2010, 09:48 PM
 
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they are fat because they like nilla wafers. at least the one we had when i was a vet assistant did

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#17 of 63 Old 07-10-2010, 11:33 PM
 
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#18 of 63 Old 07-11-2010, 01:58 AM
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Oh, I almost forgot about my most recent awkward moment. DD was about 14mo at the time. She is ECd, so was playing on her back porch bare-bottomed. I heard myself say "No, we don't put rocks in our vulva" just as my male neighbor peeked over the fence to say hi. I just know he heard me by the look on his face.
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#19 of 63 Old 07-11-2010, 12:50 PM
 
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I just had one last night!

Dp had a friend over. I was dressed for bed, and was wearing an undershirt tank top with big arm holes. (Do you see where this is going?) Ds2 fell asleep in my lap, and on my way to bed with him I stopped and chatted with dp and his friend. Dp went to the bathroom, I was chatting with Friend, and I looked down and noticed my shirt was twisted and my nipple was poking out the arm hole
I said "oops" and right then ds started to stir so I whisked him off to bed. It would have been better if I could have said something about it, and if he had said breasts are no big deal, etc. lol. He's French Canadian from Quebec, so I'm going to assume (whether right or wrong) that they are open minded about the female body and think nothing of breasts/nipples

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#20 of 63 Old 07-11-2010, 01:28 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ma2maya View Post
The other week my dd and I were at the hardware store. She had walked to the back counter where they keep all the keys and 'fancy' key rings. I walked back to where she was, wrinkled my nose and said(not loadly but not quietly), "Eww, it stinks. Did you fart?"

As we walked up the aisle, she whispered to me, "Mommy, I didn't fart, it was the guy next to me that smelled."

Ooops
At least your DD has some social graces!

My mom was watching a friends daughter who was about 3 at the time and they were at a grocery store. They were picking up ingredients for Guacamole. My mom said, "ok, lets get the stuff for the guac"
the little girl started screaming "COCK! WHERE IS THE COCK! WE NEED SOME COCK! WE LOVE COCK!" and the more my mom tried to get her to stop the more she laughed and the more she kept screaming it.. people were staring at them like they had two heads

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#21 of 63 Old 07-11-2010, 02:39 PM
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At the last military installation my family lived on, the kids and I went for a walk with a friend and her kids. Her son was the youngest of the group...he was six at the time. The other kids were 12, 12, and 9.

6yo had a scooter with him. Not an electric one. Just a Razor type thing. While we were walking, one of the rent-a-cops employed by the DoD pulled over in his car and talked at us out of his window...."You need to be wearing a helmet," to the 6yo.

Before we could say anything at all, 6yo looked at the guy and with a totally somber face, said, "I heard cops like donuts."

The cop said, "Well, I'm a diabetic and I don't eat donuts!" Then he drove away and we all exploded into laughter, except for the 6yo who didn't understand what was funny.
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#22 of 63 Old 07-11-2010, 02:55 PM
 
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Okay, I have been debating whether or not to post mine.

I am a teacher and one day on the playground one of the kids found a really unusual rock and handed it to me. I carried it around for about an hour, because I had no pockets, and finally just did the trick Grandma taught me. I stuck it in my bra when no one was looking. Well, a little while later one of the Mom's was talking to me and one of the kids asked me to show them the rock, so I just reached down my shirt and pulled it out, without even thinking. Later I was like.. um... did I just do that? Good times!

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#23 of 63 Old 07-11-2010, 09:31 PM
 
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I keep all kinds of things in my bra.. cell phone, car keys..
a lot of times someone will ask for my phone or keys and I'll pat my breast to see if its in there. i've gotten lots of looks for that

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#24 of 63 Old 07-12-2010, 04:24 AM
 
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I have a good friend who does that. I always have wanted to ask, "Did you loose a nipple?"
hehe

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#25 of 63 Old 07-12-2010, 05:43 AM
 
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I don't really have much of a brain to mouth filter, I am socially inept, I have a really obnoxious laugh and even weirder sneeze.

Life is one big awkward moment for me.

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#26 of 63 Old 07-12-2010, 09:59 AM
 
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Originally Posted by abimommy View Post
I don't really have much of a brain to mouth filter, I am socially inept, I have a really obnoxious laugh and even weirder sneeze.

Life is one big awkward moment for me.
Aww.... I mean


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#27 of 63 Old 07-12-2010, 10:40 AM
 
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2nd week at work...........

Decided to make some popcorn in the break room. My desk is upstairs, breakroom is downstairs. The bag of popcorn was a mini size, so smaller then what the popcorn button is calibrated for........

I put it in, hit the popcorn button, go up to my desk for a couple minutes, come back down to find the PLANT MANAGER and the lead sanitation tech putting out a mini fire in the microwave and the breakroom is covered in smoke. IT REEKS!!!!

Woops. Great first impression.
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#28 of 63 Old 07-12-2010, 10:44 AM
 
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I don't really have much of a brain to mouth filter, I am socially inept, I have a really obnoxious laugh and even weirder sneeze.

Life is one big awkward moment for me.
WE must be cut from the same mold.
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#29 of 63 Old 07-12-2010, 12:40 PM
 
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Alright here's one from my childhood:

I was in 6th grade and found a screw under my desk. I figured that it probably belonged to someone or something important. Or one of the desks...y'know?

So I went to the front of the class and gave it to the teacher and said "Hey Mr. Head. Wanna Screw?" Cue hysterical classwide laughter.

Of course the other unfortunate thing here is my 6th grade teacher's name was Richard Head.
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#30 of 63 Old 07-12-2010, 12:49 PM
 
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2 years ago I posted about sitting outside with my cat when our new (teenage) neighbor guys walked by.. I waved but they just looked at me, shocked. Turns ot my boob was hanging out the top of my shirt

Unfortunetely it happened again the other day, but this time I was taking the garbage out and it was an elderly couple

(I need to start remembering to put those bad boys away when I'm done nursing..)

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