Is this an age-appropriate junior bridesmaid dress? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 69 Old 08-26-2010, 03:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My girls have been asked to be in BIL's wedding this winter.

Yesterday, soon to be SIL sent me the details of the dresses she would like the girls to wear and asked me to give her the measurements.

My youngest is 3 and she will be a flower girl.

My oldest just turned 8 and she will be a junior bridesmaid.

Here's the jr. bridesmaid dress

The bridesmaid version is strapless (here for comparison) and of course I'm glad the jr. version has straps, but I'm concerned the neckline is still not very modest for an 8 year old.

Opinions welcome please!

Thanks!

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#2 of 69 Old 08-26-2010, 04:00 PM
 
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An 8 year old doesn't have anything that'd show.

If you feel the dress looks weird how it's positioned on the body, you'll be able to shorten straps and let out the hem--easy peasy.

Eta: I'd let an 8 year old wear the jr dress, but would NOT want a 17 year old to wear the older version in a wedding (or an 18 year old, for that matter)
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#3 of 69 Old 08-26-2010, 04:00 PM
 
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Well, modest is definitely a subjective term, but FWIW, I would not want my 9-year-old wearing that dress.

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#4 of 69 Old 08-26-2010, 04:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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No there's nothing on an 8-y.o. to show but isn't that kind of bodice detailed the way it is to draw attention to the bust?

I guess I'm not comfortable with her wearing the dress either, I'm a bit more conservative in dress anyway. But it's hard for me to know if it's just my own conservatism or is this really considered okay for an 8 y.o.?

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#5 of 69 Old 08-26-2010, 04:17 PM
 
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I don't really see anything wrong with it. It mostly looks like something my kids would wear during the summer... Except more fancy. Kwim? The style of dress I mean.. Is similar. I don't see a problem though. Like everyone said it's a subjective thing.

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#6 of 69 Old 08-26-2010, 04:18 PM
 
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Originally Posted by annettemarie View Post
Well, modest is definitely a subjective term, but FWIW, I would not want my 9-year-old wearing that dress.
I agree. DD has been a flowergirl in two weddings (ages 2 and 3), this is the type of dress she wore and I was quite happy with it.

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#7 of 69 Old 08-26-2010, 04:20 PM
 
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The top doesn't look lower than a tank top. Looks simple and elegant. Definitely more "grown up", but for a wedding it feels just right.

My kids are 8, 5 and 2!
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#8 of 69 Old 08-26-2010, 04:21 PM
 
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The style of that dress makes me uncomfortable for a girl that age. can the bride choose a different style but with the same fabric?

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#9 of 69 Old 08-26-2010, 04:22 PM
 
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If you're uncomfortable, could you ask to find a junior bridesmaid dress that matches the flower girl dress?

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#10 of 69 Old 08-26-2010, 04:23 PM
 
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You might consider buying a shrug that matches/complements the dress. White, black or burgandy would look nice. That would provide more coverage and you could wear it again in the future.

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#11 of 69 Old 08-26-2010, 04:25 PM
 
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I would have no problem with it for a wedding.
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#12 of 69 Old 08-26-2010, 04:26 PM
 
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That company makes matching bolero style jackets. I personally wouldn't have my kid wearing that particular dress, and it certainly wouldn't fly in my place of worship.

Here's the link to their jackets. See if they have one in your needed color/size and if that would fly with the bride.

http://www.jasminebridal.com/J_8_1_1.aspx?sqno=01

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#13 of 69 Old 08-26-2010, 04:30 PM
 
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Thats not something I'd be happy with my 8yr dd wearing either.

But, my opinion doesnt really matter, if *you* are uncomfortable, then you dont have to go along and let her wear it, right? I'd politely say, no thank you, lets find something else, and smile sweetly.
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#14 of 69 Old 08-26-2010, 04:32 PM
 
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I think it's cute. I'd be fine with an 8 yr old wearing it. I'd be fine with my 6yr old wearing it.

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#15 of 69 Old 08-26-2010, 04:38 PM
 
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I like it, and don't see how it could possibly be innapropriate for an 8 yo girl. But if you aren't comfortable with it, let the bride know or buy a shawl for your DD to wear.

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#16 of 69 Old 08-26-2010, 04:39 PM
 
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I think it's appropriate. Looks just like a fancy summer dress really. As a PP mentioned you could easily take up the straps and let down the hem if it looks like it's sitting too low.

I don't think that style of bodice is trying to attract attention to the bust, it's just pretty.

If you are really uncomfortable with it, I would do as a PP mentioned and try and find a shrug or bolero for her to wear with it.

ETA: I just looked at the bridesmaid dress and I can see why you'd be concerned, but honestly I'd be VERY surprised if a dress that is made for little girls would sit as low as the one for a woman. I imagine that dress would come somewhere below the collarbone for the girl.

It's complicated.
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#17 of 69 Old 08-26-2010, 04:50 PM
 
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Hang on, it's for winter? Get a shawl or jacket or something no matter what the bride says.
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#18 of 69 Old 08-26-2010, 04:51 PM
 
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I showed the dress to my 12 year old. She goes it is pretty. I asked her if she would wear it. She said nope! She doesn't have the body for that style of dress yet....give her a few years.

I think brought my 10 year old. She said the dress is to mature for her body. She has no signs of puberty.

I think it is a gorgeous dress but not the typical 8 year old body shape friendly.

I would compromise though. I would ask if there is any way to make the straps a little wider, to help prevent slipage or allow for a shawl type covering.
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#19 of 69 Old 08-26-2010, 04:52 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Learning_Mum View Post
ETA: I just looked at the bridesmaid dress and I can see why you'd be concerned, but honestly I'd be VERY surprised if a dress that is made for little girls would sit as low as the one for a woman. I imagine that dress would come somewhere below the collarbone for the girl.
This is what I'm thinking too - that the top of the dress will be right under her arms. If it isn't, a quick shortening of the straps will take care of the issue.

I think the shape looks like any other summer strappy dress.

I think a little jacket/shrug type thing is a good idea - especially if the a/c is set really cold as many receptions are.

ETA: missed the "winter" part - definitely get a shrug/wrap/jacket/something because she'll be freezing! It also looks like the dress is available in different lengths. You could always order a longer one and then you know you'll have room for alterations to shorten the straps if needed and to make it longer/more modest if needed.
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#20 of 69 Old 08-26-2010, 05:00 PM
 
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I let my girls (6 & 7) wear strappy summer dresses and they cover them appropriately. I think they are okay.

I didn't like how it looked on the model, but I think it will look better on a little girl. I think it will be higher cut than you think.
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#21 of 69 Old 08-26-2010, 05:13 PM
 
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Looking at the pictures, I think the little girl version looks similar to the grown up version, but is cut differently. I don't think it really gives the illusion of boobs. I let my dd1 (9) pick out some strappy summer dresses recently at a consignment sale that, while she could wear them, were clearly built for an older girl with a little something to put in the top part. She hasn't worn them anywhere but around the house right now. She also got another dress at the consignment sale that was originally from Limited Too and actually is her size. It's cut appropriately in the bodice and looks really cute. I'm a jeans a t-shirt kinda gal myself and always steering clear of the hoochie stuff at the stores, but I would have no problem with my dd1 wearing the kids version of that dress—the grown up version would be another story.

I don't really like that steel grey color, though, and think that's not very "little girl", but that's up to the bride and if the dress were in green I think it would be fine for a little girl and my girl would love it, in fact.

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#22 of 69 Old 08-26-2010, 05:19 PM
 
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neither of those would be appropriate at any of the parish's I've attended.
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#23 of 69 Old 08-26-2010, 05:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Wow,thanks for all the replies.

Seems to be evenly split on opinions here.

Both my mom and MIL think the dress is okay but they definitely side with everyone here who said to get her a shawl or a jacket. I think I'm going to go with that because it will be winter.

In a church, she would have had to wear the jacket/shawl anyway but that's a moot point here b/c they're having the ceremony at the reception hall.

I asked dd's opinion and she's only unhappy with the color of the dress. Didn't seem to care about the cut or anything. But then that's the only part of her clothes she cares about at the moment -- the color.

Thanks everyone. I do appreciate all the insights.

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#24 of 69 Old 08-26-2010, 05:33 PM
 
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neither of those would be appropriate at any of the parish's I've attended.
However, we have had no indication that this is to be a church wedding.

I think it is a lovely dress and not at all inappropriate for a summer wedding, but could be a bit chilly for a winter wedding, depending on the climate.
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#25 of 69 Old 08-26-2010, 05:36 PM
 
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I think it is a lovely dress, and it doesn't seem inappropriate for a young girl to me as long as the straps are short enough (and that's easy enough to fix if they aren't). Totally agree with the shrug or shawl idea, given than it is winter - and that will certainly make it look more modest. I can see how a little girl would be disappointed by the color, though.
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#26 of 69 Old 08-26-2010, 05:38 PM
 
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However, we have had no indication that this is to be a church wedding.

I think it is a lovely dress and not at all inappropriate for a summer wedding, but could be a bit chilly for a winter wedding, depending on the climate.
Even out of church I would not find those dresses appropriate wedding clothes.
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#27 of 69 Old 08-26-2010, 05:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Posting again instead of editing my post:

Junior bridesmaids are considered ages 8-14. But I think there's a big difference in what I'd let my 14 year old wear vs. my 8 year old. That's really the crux of me asking whether this dress is appropriate.

For me personally, I'd have a younger junior bridesmaid wear something similar to the flower girls dress. And I'd have the "older" junior bridesmaids wear something like what was shown here.'

There are other dresses by the same company that come in the same color, that I'm considering asking if dd could wear those instead.

This is the part of family politics I hate. BIL and soon to be SIL live on the other side of the country from us. So it's not like we visit or even call each other that often. But it is DH's only brother, so we accepted that the kids be in the bridal party. It's a special event and all, yada, yada.

ARgh! I'm still undecided. I'm more stressed b/c it has now become a time of the essence matter. Soon to be SIL waited too long before looking for dresses and of course now she realizes that we have to get the orders in NOW in order to have the dresses ready. <sigh>

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#28 of 69 Old 08-26-2010, 05:40 PM
 
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I'd have to see it on. If it comes up really high it could be fine.

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#29 of 69 Old 08-26-2010, 05:59 PM
 
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I think this dress will look very different on a little girl then it does on the older model in the picture. I think the bust comes up an appropriate ways and that it would be cute and appropriate.

But really it's hard to judge what it will look like on an 8 year old. I would suggest going and having your DD try it on before forming any opinions.

A quick fitting could you lead you (and perhaps the bride) to decide that it's not at all appropriate. Or a quick try on could ally your fears and you may find that it's not the look you are fearing.

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#30 of 69 Old 08-26-2010, 06:12 PM
 
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I like it. I think it's fine.
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