Is This Weird? - Mothering Forums

 
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#1 of 22 Old 09-17-2010, 12:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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The other day I was meeting a friend of mine for drinks. I hadn't seen her in a while and had a few things to tell her. I knew that I would forget so I jotted some bullet points on a tiny piece of paper to help me remember. Otherwise, it would have been, "I knew I had something else to tell you," or after we split, I would have kicked myself for forgetting to tell her something. So we're talking for a bit, catching up on what's going on with her and then I take my cheat sheet out and she's like "What's that?" And I told her and she said it was kind of weird. I made a joke about my bad memory and we both laughed, but now I want to know. IS it really weird?

Meeting two friends for lunch today and I am not making notes and I'll probably forget most of what I wanted to tell them. FTR, I'M not weird about it. I don't conduct the conversation like a meeting by hitting point after point, it's more like, "Oh yeah and...." It's just that the note helps get me to the Oh yeah moment. Thoughts?

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#2 of 22 Old 09-17-2010, 12:36 PM
 
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I can see that being helpful- I always forget to talk about something I wanted to say. I guess you could be more stealthy about it if people think its weird- go to the bathroom and check your notes midway through??

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#3 of 22 Old 09-17-2010, 01:04 PM
 
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I don't think its odd at all. I would probably do the same thing ( the note part) however i think i would hide it as best i could, because i do think others might find it weird to bring notes to a friendly gathering.

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#4 of 22 Old 09-17-2010, 01:05 PM
 
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Nope, I find it helpful too. More so that I won't keep remembering it over and over than so I won't forget it, if that makes sense.
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#5 of 22 Old 09-17-2010, 01:10 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by olliepop View Post
IS it really weird?
does it really matter. for a 14 year old yeah you are weird. for a 45 year old or a any year old mommy with babies - no.

to me it shows how much you enjoy your friend.

but otherwise lets accept it people. everyone is weird. there is something up with everyone.

the other day i was at a low income medical treatment office. omg i saw this - totally out of the place - woman employee though, but dressed and made up and accessoried to kill. she looked soooo out of place. the 'situation' was wierd. now if she was walking down the street no one would call her weird. but in that situation she looked real weird to ME. i mean business dress that i see legislators wearing at the capitol. and i found out she hadnt had to be at a meeting or anything. and her boss dresses more plainly than her.

but yeah - anytime you do anything out of the normal you are odd or weird.

i live that. however i am glad i am not creepy.

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#6 of 22 Old 09-17-2010, 01:12 PM
 
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I do something similar with dh and my bff. I send them texts that say "remember story about silver tutu" or whatever. I can't remember a darn thing and that's the only way we are going to ever talk about the things we should
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#7 of 22 Old 09-17-2010, 01:13 PM
 
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I have the conversations out loud in the car on the way there so I dont forget.

So uh...

having conversation with yourself vs. writing down dont forget to tell so-and-so this info!

which one do you find weirder?

because honestly, what you do sounds pretty normal compared to my way!

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#8 of 22 Old 09-17-2010, 01:16 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mamalisa View Post
I do something similar with dh and my bff. I send them texts that say "remember story about silver tutu" or whatever. I can't remember a darn thing and that's the only way we are going to ever talk about the things we should
I also do this with DH!

he will come home with like five texts that say random things like
-i want brats (as in for dinner, on the grill... but if I dont text him Ill forget then ill be upset when we dont have them. of course, thats overreacting but I AM 40+ weeks pregnant so its to be excused!)
-remind me to tell you about the shirt
-i have to tell you about what my sister said
-remind me 4pm (somehow this is enough for me to remember that at 4pm such-and-such happened lol)

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#9 of 22 Old 09-17-2010, 01:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by mamalisa View Post
I do something similar with dh and my bff. I send them texts that say "remember story about silver tutu" or whatever. I can't remember a darn thing and that's the only way we are going to ever talk about the things we should
I do the SAME thing with dh! I have post-its on my desktop and on it are things that I want to tell him when he gets home from work, mostly related to the children, but I definitely do it too.

Thanks guys!

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#10 of 22 Old 09-17-2010, 02:04 PM
 
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3 generations of Caneel family women have been keeping discussion lists. My mom keeps her's on a piece of adding machine tape, which she then tapes onto her purse so it is on the top of her mind when she visits me.

Not only do I do it with my friends but we will actually list in order of importance so the best topics are covered first!

DH and I do it with each other too.

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#11 of 22 Old 09-17-2010, 02:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks Caneel! I feel much better now. But are we normal or both weird? LOL

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#12 of 22 Old 09-17-2010, 02:23 PM
 
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I think it depends on what type of things are on the list.

If it's something like "Tell X story" or "Tell y story" then it almost makes it seem like you have an agenda for the visit or you are trying to be sure to get your stories in, or you are more interested in talking about yourself than hearing what they have to say.

However, if the lists are to remember to ask them something ie. "Can I have your recipe for x" or "Who is that mechanic you were telling me about that was so great" or to tell them something like "We're thinking about having little Timmy's birthday party on the 31st" then it makes a lot of sense. I can definitely see doing something like that and it not being weird at all.

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#13 of 22 Old 09-17-2010, 02:39 PM
 
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"Weird" - as in unusual or atypical? Taking a crib sheet to a social occasion may be a little atypical, but I don't think it's a bad thing to do.

I was going to write about "normal" referring to statistical averages, and "average" having nothing to do with whether something is bad or good. Suffice it to say, I think using a memory prompt is a good idea. What really matters is if you had a good time with your friend .
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#14 of 22 Old 09-17-2010, 02:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
I think it depends on what type of things are on the list.

If it's something like "Tell X story" or "Tell y story" then it almost makes it seem like you have an agenda for the visit or you are trying to be sure to get your stories in, or you are more interested in talking about yourself than hearing what they have to say.

In this particular case, it was a variety of things like...
  • PTA (at her school)
  • Craigslist (great find)
  • brother's divorce (how he's doing)
  • new neighbor


The conversations are definitely not one-sided.

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#15 of 22 Old 09-17-2010, 05:28 PM
 
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I dont see a problem with it AT ALL. All of my friends know how forgetful I am. True friends wont see a problem with it. They might tease me a bit and then laugh histerically about it, but theyd never do it intentionally to make me feel weird about it.


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#16 of 22 Old 09-17-2010, 08:28 PM
 
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I don't find it odd at all, but then my BFF and I now just immediately plop a paper and pen on the table right when we sit down because our discussions get so tangential and convoluted, and we both have so much to say that we forget stuff all the time. We'll just write down a trigger word and the list looks pretty weird by the end of the night. I should save some for posterity!

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#17 of 22 Old 09-17-2010, 08:31 PM
 
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I should save some for posterity!
hey post some here. i love reading others lists. i love seeing how others minds work. its like the thread name game where you list 3 you see in order.

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#18 of 22 Old 09-17-2010, 08:42 PM
 
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hey post some here. i love reading others lists. i love seeing how others minds work. its like the thread name game where you list 3 you see in order.
Ooh, I will! We only see each other a few times a year (probably why we have so much to say) so it won't be until after Thanksgiving, but I'll try to remember. I know our last one had "Joseph Campbell," "butt-tucking," and "chocolate cafe" on it, but I can't remember the rest.

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#19 of 22 Old 09-17-2010, 09:15 PM
 
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I think it depends on what type of personality you have and what type of relationship you and your friend have.

As soon as I started to read the post I pictured an old mutual friend of ours. This guy was totally overpowering and bossy. He would usually run the conversations and try to make everyone agree with him. He was also over the top organized to the point that it would make things more difficult, not easier. I can totally see him doing something like that and treating it like a business meeting.

.....But by the time I got to the end of your post I was picturing more of a casual setting between two good friends who happen to only be able to get together every so often. If I did this with some of my friends, we would definitely have a good laugh about how scatter brained I am and it may not be that big of a deal. I don't think I would ever chose to do it though, since I prefer my conversations to happen more authentically. I make a lot of calls though to talk about things I forget to bring up, so I can see it being helpful and wouldn't necessarily peg anyone else as weird for doing it.

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#20 of 22 Old 09-18-2010, 12:05 AM
 
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I don't find it weird at all. I carry a little black book with me that I am constantly jotting notes down so I don't forget things I wanted to talk about, get, or even do later.

Any misspellings or grammatical errors in the above statement are intentional;
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
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#21 of 22 Old 09-18-2010, 01:21 AM
 
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I think that's awesome, and you sound like a great friend. She's lucky to have you, even if she thinks you're a little weird.

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#22 of 22 Old 09-18-2010, 06:27 PM
 
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No, it's not weird!
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