How concerned should I be? Long-(Police/CPS) - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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Old 09-23-2010, 03:46 AM
 
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kidzaplenty - the fact that the children had access to those things is what would make CPS take note.

there are two unsafe things happening here.

1. that they had access
2. that child was able to paint legs for a long time enough unsupervised

here's how you judge the scene.

if this happened in your daycare and your child came home with a painted red leg would you be ok with it.

if your child talked about an open ziplock bag of white powder in the bathroom of your care giver would you be ok with that?

oh i totally understand a thrashed house. mine gets like that at least 3 times a year for a few weeks during finals time.

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Old 09-23-2010, 03:58 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Kidzaplenty View Post
Ha! You have never met my two year old. My son could literally dump an entire container of powder all over (that was located on top of a computer desk), climb on the cabinets, get out the paprika, pour it on the carpet, then snatch a bottle of paint from DD room and paint everything in sight including the baby. AND, he could do all that in two minutes flat.

He is VERY fast. And if anyone thinks it takes "easy access" and "unspervision" they have never met a child like mine. Because unless you have him in your arms 24/7, he is into something. Even if it is only moments. And all the afore mentioned things HAVE happened to us, and it can be so very fast. Faster than the time you take to answer a phone call, say, "you have the wrong number" and turn back around. Faster than you can run and go pee. Faster than you can put a bandaide on another child's knee.

Just saying...

In my experience, CPS would never remove the children if the OP's depiction of the events and such were accurate. They would tell her she must clean up, and they would make return trips (likely). But, the scene (even at it's worst version) as explained in the OP's is nothing like some of the horrid ones they have to deal with on a routine basis (at least in my area and in my experience). And even those they do not necessarily remove the children right away. Only if there were sufficient cause to think the children were in immediate danger. And the OP's scene did not seem to come across that way to me.
Yes, I totally agree. Even a very inexperienced CPS worker would most likely be unfazed by what was going on in the OP's home.

Like the pp said, they have bigger fish to fry. Access to fingernail polish is NOT why kids end up in foster care.

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Old 09-23-2010, 04:34 AM
 
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it would be a temporary thing. it wouldnt mean removing the children and NEVER returning them. it would mean removing the children from an unsafe home, letting parents clean up, another check and then returning the children. all within a few days or a few weeks.
But a few days or a few weeks is a long time to a nursing infant.

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Old 09-23-2010, 04:36 AM
 
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Originally Posted by meemee View Post
kidzaplenty - the fact that the children had access to those things is what would make CPS take note.

there are two unsafe things happening here.

1. that they had access
2. that child was able to paint legs for a long time enough unsupervised

here's how you judge the scene.

if this happened in your daycare and your child came home with a painted red leg would you be ok with it.

if your child talked about an open ziplock bag of white powder in the bathroom of your care giver would you be ok with that?
First, I don't think a child having "access" to nail polish, baby powder, or a paprika is in any way a red flag. The are not generally "dangerous", only messy.

And as for your list, you can't really judge a home by "day care" standards. There are many differences, including what would be considered "normal" accessible stuff.

But, if my child were in daycare, and that child came home with paint, nail polish, or makers all over him, I would assume that he found something that was not normally around, climbed in some cabinet, up some wall, or through a crack somewhere. And I would not think anything of it. He is constantly covered in something that he found in the two seconds we turned our eyes.

As for a zippy bag of powder, it would take a whole half of a second to know it was baby powder. BTW, I believe the OP said it was a bag p herbal soak, thus more likely green and leafy rather than a powder. But, again, a quick smell would tell. And besides, it was obvious she was in some stage of unpacking. Nothing odd about that.

I don't know any social worker that would actually remove children for the above conditions.

Any misspellings or grammatical errors in the above statement are intentional;
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
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Old 09-23-2010, 04:45 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Kidzaplenty View Post
He is VERY fast. And if anyone thinks it takes "easy access" and "unspervision" they have never met a child like mine. Because unless you have him in your arms 24/7, he is into something. Even if it is only moments. And all the afore mentioned things HAVE happened to us, and it can be so very fast. Faster than the time you take to answer a phone call, say, "you have the wrong number" and turn back around. Faster than you can run and go pee. Faster than you can put a bandaide on another child's knee.
Yup. A time comes to mind when DD was about 2 and a half and I had no other children, only her and a new puppy. DD was downstairs and quiet for a brief moment so I decided to run upstairs and vacuum. It took me all of three minutes. The front door was bolted and DD had NEVER shown signs of capability of opening it. Well, on this particular day she decided to learn how. I heard the door slam and RAN downstairs to investigate. What I found was a NAKED two year old (we were potty learning) running after a puppy down the street. YIKES!!! Luckily we lived on a culdisack and there was no real danger. I chased her down the street. She found it funny to run from me. Then when I got her and the puppy in my arms, found it funny to brake free and run again. The neighbor was outside and watched the whole thing. Luckily she found it cute and didn't call CPS. (Realizing now she could have. Um....naked toddler running through the streets unsupervized = much worse than what is described in the OP).

Honestly, on a message board full of mothers, I find it odd to see anyone arguing that this is a case warranted for CPS involvement.

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Old 09-23-2010, 07:18 AM
 
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Theoretica:

Make sure you print out your description of the day. Someday you will laugh about it. Just as I now laugh about the day with the bizarre confluence of events and 4-year-old non-mastery of communication that led to CPS being called by someone visiting our home when DD called out to her dad, "Daddy, when that lady's gone, come play the naked game with us!"

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Old 09-23-2010, 08:53 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Kidzaplenty View Post
I don't know any social worker that would actually remove children for the above conditions.
they have and they would IF this was a continued scene.

when the worker visited my house with a 3 year old she was assessing my place from the point of a 1 year old. obviously i had cleaned and organised my house with my dd in mind. in that state that my house was IF my dd was a year old then the worker said she would have removed my dd immediately for what a day or two or as long as it took for me to rectify all that she had written me up for. then she would come back, reassess and then return my child. since i was coparenting she said instead of the foster system she would have given dd to my ex. but since a 3 year old lived here she just noted on file and no action was needed.

what you guys are not seeing is things that all CPS needs is 'reasonable doubt' and they will temporarily remove the child. it may seem illogical as a caring parent, but that's just the way it is.

oh yeah now i remember - one of the thing the CPS worker noted was that i had toothpaste and mouth wash on the counter instead of the medicine cabinet. if my dd was 1 that would have been a serious mark against me. and if there were enough marks, then yes they would have removed my dd. (my ex totally knew this, which is why he had complained to CPS - this is pretty common among break ups)

i agree that's ridiculous. but that's how the rules are written and are upto the discretion of the worker. the kinder one looks at the context of the situation and does not see anything wrong. yet a disgruntled worker might totally nit pick and take your children on v. feeble excuse.

again this has nothing to do with OP or her situation. i was using hers as an example - because i have seen how CPS works. and as ridiculous as it sounds THATS the way it is.

i personally totally relate to what is going on with theoretica. BUT how i look at her house and how CPS would are two different things.

which is why when CPS wants to make a visit i tell people just imagine daycare standards and organise your house that way.

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Old 09-23-2010, 12:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Theoretica:

Make sure you print out your description of the day. Someday you will laugh about it. Just as I now laugh about the day with the bizarre confluence of events and 4-year-old non-mastery of communication that led to CPS being called by someone visiting our home when DD called out to her dad, "Daddy, when that lady's gone, come play the naked game with us!"
ZOMG That is hilarious!!!!

I have one like it you'll appreciate...

When 9yoDD was 2-3ish, she and DH played this game where she'd run alllllll the way down the long hallway, catapult onto the couch (and him), stick her butt in his face and he'd tickle her into gigglefits and/or pretend to spank her butt. She found it an absolute riot, and he could roughhouse with her after work without moving a whole ton LOL

So we had in home therapy services for my oldest, and we were finalizing adoption stuff, so this social worker was in our home doing endless paperwork. At which point DD decided she wasn't getting enough attention. So she goes to the end of the hallway, runs at superspeed and tackles DH on the couch...sticking her butt in his face and squealing "SPANK ME DADDY! SPANK ME WEEEELY HARD!!!"

The look on his and the social worker's face was priceless, as I stammered to explain their 'game' and DH tried to peel off her octopus arms and relocate her to a bedroom to play. It was fine in the end, but definitely a little nerve wracking for a while!!!

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Old 09-23-2010, 11:06 PM
 
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And also on the red popsicle around the mouth, red nail polish on legs, paprika on the floor-I'm not a police office or a cps person but as a nurse of 20 yrs I could see at 20 paces if those things were blood or not.

On the bag of herbal soaks-if you don't think the cop picked it up, opened and sniffed it to see if it was weed or not your nuts. he obviously has seen it before and knows what it looks like. If they thought it was weed theoritca wouldn't be posting on mdc, she'd have been arrested.

The reason they were called was because of the screaming. Thank god they checked it out. That could have been an abducted child screaming for help.

The zipties-if they had been on a childs wrist they would have had to be cut off to remove them. Cops know these things. They use them for heavens sake. When I took care of inmates the guards used them and always had to cut them off.
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Old 09-24-2010, 12:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
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And also on the red popsicle around the mouth, red nail polish on legs, paprika on the floor-I'm not a police office or a cps person but as a nurse of 20 yrs I could see at 20 paces if those things were blood or not.

On the bag of herbal soaks-if you don't think the cop picked it up, opened and sniffed it to see if it was weed or not your nuts. he obviously has seen it before and knows what it looks like. If they thought it was weed theoritca wouldn't be posting on mdc, she'd have been arrested.

The reason they were called was because of the screaming. Thank god they checked it out. That could have been an abducted child screaming for help.

The zipties-if they had been on a childs wrist they would have had to be cut off to remove them. Cops know these things. They use them for heavens sake. When I took care of inmates the guards used them and always had to cut them off.
I hadn't thought of these very rational points Thank you! The paprika mess, wet and scrubbed into the carpet, was about 3 feet around in an irregular oval shape. I can see that requiring an extra look with a flashlight in a dim room at dusk, so that made sense. I was surprised they were questioning the popsicle on her face, as that seemed apparent...it was around her mouth after all

It didn't occur to me that they would've picked up the bag and opened it. I'm not sure why it didn't

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Old 09-24-2010, 03:55 AM
 
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I been feeling really crummy with morning sickness the last few weeks and my house is a total mess. Your post just scared me into getting off my butt to clean it up.

.
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Old 09-24-2010, 08:24 AM
 
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They MIGHT show up,but it sounds like the cops did a good looksie. I don't know if I am happy about their actions or annoyed.A little or both I guess.Overall if you called on someone I guess you would want them to get in a make sure the kids were OK.Unfortunately it was you and a false alarm.

Just get the house in decent order and if CPS shows up a quick run through the house should be enough.I know you can refuse entry and/or just show all the kids at the door.That will be your chocie when the time comes.I went through it after the birth of my dd and I just made the workers feel all *good* about what they saw/suggested(crib,formula,vaccines,well check) so they closed the case.I got called on because I was a woman who chose to have a home birth instead of going to a low income hospital to labor and deliver her first child! Yea, I signed up for the hospital,but after 1 or 2 visits I never went back.My bad for not calling and saying I was going to another hospital or something.
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Old 09-24-2010, 11:57 AM
 
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Very stressful indeed, but honestly, the fact that they said "Sorry to disturb you" pretty much tells me that they didn't find anything worrisome. As the daughter of a cop, I can tell you they don't apologize to people they think need their intervention. Cops are trained to know what blood, marijuana, etc look and smell like. Chances are they have children of their own as well and know what a hectic day looks like, including paprika, popsicle and nail polish messes. As bad as it might look to YOU, it probably wasn't all that bad. I am willing to bet that neighbor called because you didn't come to the door and with the little one screaming, worried that you were either a.) not home or b.) hurt/incapacitated... I honestly have to say hearing a child screaming as much as you say your's was and then not coming to the door, I probably would call too.

Actually, you are very lucky that it was the cops she called and not CPS straight off. We grew up dealing with CPS as a child (low income, single hoarder mother) and they definitely are more quick to judge on those crazy/insane days then a cop is. I highly doubt you'll get a call from CPS or anyone else for that matter. A horrible, hectic day happens to all of us... unfortunately, your's was made public and that just sucks... but I think they'll understand

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Old 09-24-2010, 02:34 PM
 
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In your shoes I would contact the local precinct and ask for a copy of the report.
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