Has anybody here dealt with a family member being responsible for or accused of a very publicized crime? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 41 Old 09-24-2010, 04:53 AM
 
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Yes, and it would really be ok with me if I never got a 5am call from SWAT again. To this day the DOD, FBI type folk come around looking for 'xyz'. Said incident happened 4 years ago this october. I remember the moment the phone rang and woke me up, I remember what the officer said, I remember that day like it was this AM.

'xyz' is properly detained and the folk should be able to find him so why they come here is beyond me.

I still cry about it, the day is still stressful. My son is still dealing with the aftermath.

I haven't read all the responses but PM me if you need to talk or want details.

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#32 of 41 Old 09-25-2010, 12:58 PM
 
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Not a relative but a co-workers daughter was murdered. She (the daughter) was taken from a bar after a night of drinking with her co-workers. It was several weeks before her body was found. When they went to arrest the guy who supposedly did it, found he had commited suicide in his Parent's garage.

My co-worker sat behind me. It was heartbreaking. I remember the day they confirmed hair fibers in the guys vehicle were the same. My co-worker got a call about it. She broke down sobbing. I remember running around the corner to get my boss to come help her.

It was so horrible. Something I will never forget.

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#33 of 41 Old 09-25-2010, 02:38 PM
 
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Well, my husband's cousin was all over the news a year or so ago for drunken breastfeeding while the cops were at her house.

Hugs to all you mamas who have survived these horrible experiences.

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#34 of 41 Old 09-25-2010, 07:27 PM
 
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No, fortunately.

We do have a close friend who was a felon as a young man, and turned his life around.
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#35 of 41 Old 09-25-2010, 11:09 PM
 
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Not me but DH's family. His aunt and uncle died in a murder/suicide (uncle killed his wife, threatened her co-worker, then killed himself) that was big news around their area. My SIL is actually not DH's sister but his cousin who MIL took guardianship of after her parents died.

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#36 of 41 Old 09-25-2010, 11:32 PM
 
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Well, a big part of the reason I didn't take Dh's last name when we married was because of this guy. Poor DH grew up hearing about how wonderful the man was how great he was as the patriarch of the family bringing them to mormonism... he never even knew the truth until he was in his 20's. It doesn't freak my hubby out to think he has murderous DNA, though.
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#37 of 41 Old 09-26-2010, 03:59 PM
 
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Yes. My brother was accused, tried and convicted of something I would rather not say. I don't talk about it with anyone. I supported him as much as I could, but if he did the crime he had to do the sentence. I still love him but I feel badly for his victim.

I haven't really talked about it with DH, just my mom and other brothers. DH's family doesn't know and neither do my friends. It helps that I live in another country than my family does.

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#38 of 41 Old 09-26-2010, 06:41 PM
 
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My dad was in jail for 18 months accused of murdering a woman he knew. He was aquitted when he finally got to trial. There was absolutely no evidence...The fingerprints, etc all were the woman's ex boyfriends, not my dads..And the police never did question her ex-bf about the blood stains on his clothing. But because he had a smart mouth when the police came to question him, they considered it a confession. He said, "Well if you know I did it, then why don't you arrest me?" Thankfully, when it got to trial they realized he was innocent, and he was released. He passed away due to a heart attack a year later.
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#39 of 41 Old 09-26-2010, 06:49 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JD5351 View Post
My dad was in jail for 18 months accused of murdering a woman he knew. He was aquitted when he finally got to trial. There was absolutely no evidence...The fingerprints, etc all were the woman's ex boyfriends, not my dads..And the police never did question her ex-bf about the blood stains on his clothing. But because he had a smart mouth when the police came to question him, they considered it a confession. He said, "Well if you know I did it, then why don't you arrest me?" Thankfully, when it got to trial they realized he was innocent, and he was released. He passed away due to a heart attack a year later.
I'm so sorry. That's so unfair. Peace to you.

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#40 of 41 Old 09-27-2010, 06:34 PM
 
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So sorry you are going through this..My uncle, who was a sherrif's deputy, was arrested for child molestation two years ago. It was all over the local news and the internet because he was a cop and because of how the disclosures unfolded. I have no problem cutting him off completely but it was particularly painful because he was the only one in my father's family I still had a relationship with. His father molested me and all my female cousins (and most likely his own children, including the boys as well). The genetic issue scares the shit out of me. I spent most of my first pregnancy in therapy coping with the "what if a genetic light switch gets flipped on at some point and I molest my children..." and that was years before my uncle's arrest which underscored this fear. Needless to say, that is part of the trauma of it all. My therapist kindly reminded me again and again that people who come to therapy to talk about such fears openly and work to heal their own trauma are not the ones who gone on to molest children. It has significantly impacted my relationships with my own father and brothers though. I had just started to feel like I could trust my fathers and brothers with my children (because of my own neglect as a child) when my uncle was arrested and it made me requestion everything about my family once more. In a perverted way, this was the only uncle who stood by my cousins and I when we disclosed. And the whole time he was a pedophile too. That sickened me. So there is no unsupervised visitation with my family now.

I haven't had contact with my uncle since his arrest (for which he was convicted but only spent 6 f'in weeks in jail for due to statue of limitations). It terrifies me that when his probation is up in 2 more years, he'll show up in my city because my grandmother and some of his siblings STILL (despite his conviction) act like he is the victim.

I wish you as much peace as you can thorugh this.

Hey
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#41 of 41 Old 09-27-2010, 07:53 PM
 
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I'm related to a pedophile, but there was never a public scandal about his crimes.

This wasn't highly publicized, but there was a newspaper article about another family member's crime (which unintentionally resulted in someone's death), and it was tough to read all the online comments that accompanied the article.

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