Confusing situation regarding "ownership" - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 50 Old 10-21-2010, 08:48 PM
 
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Whether she told you not to take her stuff or not doesn't matter in the least bit. From what you have posted, she actually sounds quite non-confrontational, and for all we know, she talked to a friend asking how to go about getting her bowl back and the friend advised her, if she doesn't like conflict, to 'wait and see' if you did the right thing all by yourself and returned it without her having to ask/confront you about it.

and to what earthmama just posted.

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#32 of 50 Old 10-21-2010, 09:00 PM
 
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Give her back her bowl, Dude. You know better. It's irrelevant as to why she hasn't made a stink about it before now. You said yourself in your OP she's been asking about it for a LONG time.

Ask for your stuff back, too , if you want it. But it's in no wise a trade. Do the right thing
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#33 of 50 Old 10-21-2010, 09:01 PM
 
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You sound like my sister. She stole the quilt my Grandma made for me because SHE was the one who liked quilts, SHE would put it on display and not just store it in a chest, SHE understood the hard work that went into it, blah blah blah. She had a million rationalizations for why she deserved the quilt more than I did so she took it. I finally had to threaten legal action to get it back.

You know the bowl belongs to her. Stop with the excuses and send it to her.
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#34 of 50 Old 10-21-2010, 09:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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You sound like my sister. She stole the quilt my Grandma made for me because SHE was the one who liked quilts, SHE would put it on display and not just store it in a chest, SHE understood the hard work that went into it, blah blah blah. She had a million rationalizations for why she deserved the quilt more than I did so she took it. I finally had to threaten legal action to get it back.

You know the bowl belongs to her. Stop with the excuses and send it to her.
Jeez, why can't you at least share it with her? Make out a schedule that says she gets it this months out of the year and you get it these months, or whatever works for you guys. She's your sister, for heaven's sakes. I can at least understand why my former housemate who I was never that close to doesn't care to let me have the bowl or share it with me, but your sister?!
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#35 of 50 Old 10-21-2010, 09:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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OP- Did you ever get your salt lamp back?
Nope and since she's not the type of person that goes out of her way to do things for others, I doubt I'll see it any time soon (if ever).
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#36 of 50 Old 10-21-2010, 09:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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If you knew she had your lamp when you were moving and you wanted it, you probably should have just walked into her room and taken it with you (and maybe left her bowl in its place?). The big difference it that you left your lamp when you moved, she didn't take it from the place you were living.
That would have been the logical thing to do but with all the stress I was under I forgot she still had it.

She could have also easily gone into my room and taken her bowl back when she was moving (we moved around the same time). It was sitting on the table by the door the entire time, it was no mystery. She could have also left my lamp in its place at this time. I'm not saying that what I did was right, just pointing out that the situation was not that different on the opposite side of the coin.
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#37 of 50 Old 10-21-2010, 09:18 PM
 
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Give her back the bowl. It's hers!!!!

When she asked for it the FIRST time, you had the responsibility to drive to her and return it. Instead you've been playing silly little games trying to rationalize keeping the bowl. You don't have any kind of right to keep it. Pack it up, insure it and ship it back to her. Today.

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#38 of 50 Old 10-21-2010, 09:20 PM
 
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I am a little shocked at this thread even being here. I agree with everyone else. It is her bowl, you had no right to take it, you should give it back ASAP.

I would feel too guilty if I took someone else's property in a move like that.

I also do not think that you *general you* have to share everything you own with everyone. I am a teacher, so I am all about teaching my student's sharing, but some things are just my things. And that is okay, I think.

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#39 of 50 Old 10-21-2010, 09:20 PM
 
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Return the singing bowl. I hope that you don't normally act this way about others' possessions.

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#40 of 50 Old 10-21-2010, 09:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So what? It's her bowl that you took. Why she did or didn't ask for it back earlier is not relevant. She's asked for it back now; you've acknowledged that you took it without permission, and all the rest is irrelevant. If you were to send it back to her and she were to immediately throw it in the garbage, that would be her right because it's her bowl. Whether you think she treated it respectfully or not and whether you think she really cares about it or not are just not relevant.
I have a different idea of possessions, especially when that possession is a sacred object. A piece of plastic is different than a copper singing bowl. The fact that it was collecting dust on that shelf and she never bothered to say anything to me about it makes me believe that she is not respecting it the way it's meant to be respected.
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#41 of 50 Old 10-21-2010, 09:23 PM
 
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I have a different idea of possessions, especially when that possession is a sacred object. A piece of plastic is different than a copper singing bowl. The fact that it was collecting dust on that shelf and she never bothered to say anything to me about it makes me believe that she is not respecting it the way it's meant to be respected.
Wow. I don't think your idea of possessions has anything to do with this situation. But I wonder - would you be cool with anyone taking anything that belongs to you just because somewhere in their head they think you aren't "taking care of it" the way you're supposed to?
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#42 of 50 Old 10-21-2010, 09:24 PM
 
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I have a different idea of possessions, especially when that possession is a sacred object. A piece of plastic is different than a copper singing bowl. The fact that it was collecting dust on that shelf and she never bothered to say anything to me about it makes me believe that she is not respecting it the way it's meant to be respected.
And if she were to take legal action, the 'sacredness' of the object would not even be a consideration. She is the rightful owner.

If anything, you've diminished the sacredness of it by turning it into stolen goods.

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#43 of 50 Old 10-21-2010, 09:26 PM
 
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Originally Posted by rainbow_mandala View Post
I have a different idea of possessions, especially when that possession is a sacred object. A piece of plastic is different than a copper singing bowl. The fact that it was collecting dust on that shelf and she never bothered to say anything to me about it makes me believe that she is not respecting it the way it's meant to be respected.
Holy crap.

Who are you to decide if she's worthy of HER bowl?? Unbelieveable.

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#44 of 50 Old 10-21-2010, 09:26 PM
 
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Dude, return the bowl.
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#45 of 50 Old 10-21-2010, 09:30 PM
 
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Yep, I'm with everyone else here. You did wrong. Fix it by returning the bowl. I'd even go so far as to take it to a professional shipping store... so that you know it gets to her in one piece.
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#46 of 50 Old 10-21-2010, 09:30 PM
 
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Originally Posted by rainbow_mandala View Post
I have a different idea of possessions, especially when that possession is a sacred object. A piece of plastic is different than a copper singing bowl. The fact that it was collecting dust on that shelf and she never bothered to say anything to me about it makes me believe that she is not respecting it the way it's meant to be respected.
Are you serious?
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#47 of 50 Old 10-21-2010, 09:31 PM
 
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Is this a joke?

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#48 of 50 Old 10-21-2010, 09:31 PM
 
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OP, is this what you really want to teach your son?

That it's okay to STEAL whatever you want if you can come up with 1 million justifcations for it?

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#49 of 50 Old 10-21-2010, 09:32 PM
 
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Ooh snap earthmama!

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#50 of 50 Old 10-22-2010, 11:46 AM
 
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I am returning this thread with a couple of edits and closing the thread. I think the discussion has run its course. If you have questions or concerns, please pm myself, another moderator or and administrator. Thanks.

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