Would you ask for the money back? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

Reply
 
Thread Tools
#31 of 52 Old 11-13-2010, 01:24 PM
 
MissMaegie'sMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Eating a bowl of soup
Posts: 387
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Quote:

Originally Posted by 3 little birds View Post

Yes, the story is a little questionable.  But, if his truck broke down where he said it did, it is about 5 miles away, so quite a walk.  My impression from what he said was that he was borrowing his other neighbor's truck to get to the next town to pick up family.  Not that he was going to the truck to get his wallet to get cash and bring it back to me or to have his truck fixed.  He was focused on doing the pick up and then dealing with the broken down truck.  So, it would make sense that without a wallet over the weekend he might have trouble getting cash and it probably wasn't a priority if his truck and wallet were stolen and he said he was with the police filling out a report and finding out from the dealer if there was some sort of locating device on the truck.

 

I really do wish there was a way to make the front of my house more private.  If I keep the shades in front closed, it is like a tomb in here, plus I live in a warm climate-the windows were open.  Like I said, I only answered the door-well, window- because I was afraid whoever it was would report 5 unattended kids (during school hours) if I didn't make it known that someone was home.  I hate having to choose between answering the door and ignoring it.  I wish I could have a dog, too (allergies).  My friend feels much better at home during the day with her Boxer.  It is sad because this used to be a really great neighborhood where you were just within a shout of a neighbor you knew and where you couldn't help but see all the goings-on at everybody's house.  Now it is a mess.  The house next to me was rented first to a nice couple+friend, but the friend ended up committing suicide because he couldn't find work.  The next renter was also out of work and sold prescription drugs.  I spent the day watching the elderly sell their pills to him and him selling them to younger people.  He ended up dying in an accident.  It has been very tragic.


Do you have horizontal blinds? I found that if I tilt mine to open to the ceiling rather than the floor, light still comes inside but people outside the house can't see inside. Also, it's really no one else's business why your kids were/are at home instead of at school during the day, regardless of the fact you homeschool. How would the person know that the kids weren't sick, or that they had the day off of school or something? Not their problem or business.

 

I suggest putting a sign on your door to keep away unwanted visitors in the future, such as "No Soliciting." Or maybe about "Homeschool Family- School is in Session. Please Do Not Disturb." That way, if someone does decide to ring the bell, they won't be surprised when you don't answer the door. :D

 

And go pay those neighbors a visit (but take yor DH along).

A_Random_Phrase likes this.

About me: I  caffix.giftreehugger.gifcold.gifknit.gifphotosmile2.gif, and read.gif. Oh, and I'm dizzy.gif with love.gif for DH and DCx3!
 
MissMaegie'sMama is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#32 of 52 Old 11-16-2010, 08:30 AM
 
phathui5's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Oregon
Posts: 17,022
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)

I'm glad there was a good (for you, anyway) ending to this story.


Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
14yo ds
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
  11yo dd
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
 9yo ds and 7yo ds
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
and 2yo ds 
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
 
phathui5 is offline  
#33 of 52 Old 11-18-2010, 09:58 AM - Thread Starter
 
3 little birds's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 994
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Okay, so all of the doubters were correct.  He showed up this morning at 5:30 with a gobblydegook story about needing gas money to get the little girl to school.  Inexplicably, my dh gave him $5.  (I think he was caught off guard so early and he did spend his childhood in a terrible neighborhood where his dad would pay the drug addicts for the stuff they stole our of his shed).  I am really skeeved out.


wave.gif
3 little birds is offline  
#34 of 52 Old 11-18-2010, 10:12 AM
 
limabean's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 9,431
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 11 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by 3 little birds View Post

Okay, so all of the doubters were correct.  He showed up this morning at 5:30 with a gobblydegook story about needing gas money to get the little girl to school.  Inexplicably, my dh gave him $5.  (I think he was caught off guard so early and he did spend his childhood in a terrible neighborhood where his dad would pay the drug addicts for the stuff they stole our of his shed).  I am really skeeved out.



Oh geez, I'm sorry my cynicism was accurate. Too bad your DH gave him more money. Refuse him every single time from here on out, and call the police if he escalates at all. Also write down a physical description of him (or even try to snap a photo) and jot down everything you remember, including dates and times. 

A_Random_Phrase likes this.

DH+Me 1994 heartbeat.gif DS 2004 heartbeat.gif DD 2008 heartbeat.gif DDog 2014
limabean is offline  
#35 of 52 Old 11-18-2010, 10:39 AM
 
Eyelet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Illinois
Posts: 699
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by limabean View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by 3 little birds View Post

Okay, so all of the doubters were correct.  He showed up this morning at 5:30 with a gobblydegook story about needing gas money to get the little girl to school.  Inexplicably, my dh gave him $5.  (I think he was caught off guard so early and he did spend his childhood in a terrible neighborhood where his dad would pay the drug addicts for the stuff they stole our of his shed).  I am really skeeved out.



Oh geez, I'm sorry my cynicism was accurate. Too bad your DH gave him more money. Refuse him every single time from here on out, and call the police if he escalates at all. Also write down a physical description of him (or even try to snap a photo) and jot down everything you remember, including dates and times. 


I think this is great advice. Next time he comes to your door just don't answer it or say, "Sorry, I can't help you anymore." Unfortunately, he's now marked you as an instant ATM. Definitely call the police if it escalates.

 

 


autismribbon.gif

Eyelet is offline  
#36 of 52 Old 11-20-2010, 02:02 PM
 
GearGirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 2,891
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Can you send your dh over to at least find out if this is your neighbor?  I'm not sure if it is better if it is or isn't, but it seems like something important to know.  I agree 100% with the previous poster that said to tell him "sorry we don't keep any cash around usually, last week was an odd situation for us."

~PurityLake~ likes this.
GearGirl is offline  
#37 of 52 Old 11-20-2010, 02:53 PM
 
midnightwriter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: midnight
Posts: 1,271
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Oh, hugs. I was hoping I was wrong. I'd consider him dangerous. It is likely he's asking money for drugs, and now might rely on you. He might get upset if you don't provide him with cash next time. He might also be a real expert on this, and watching your house. He knows when you are most vulnerable and might not be thinking straight--early morning, when you're in the shower.

 

I agree that you need to find out for certain whether he is your neighbour or not and to have his physical discription handy. I would call the non emergency number and talk to them about it. They might have something on him already. It is not even the amount of money, it is the pattern that might escalate.  So sorry you are dealing with this.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 3 little birds View Post

Okay, so all of the doubters were correct.  He showed up this morning at 5:30 with a gobblydegook story about needing gas money to get the little girl to school.  Inexplicably, my dh gave him $5.  (I think he was caught off guard so early and he did spend his childhood in a terrible neighborhood where his dad would pay the drug addicts for the stuff they stole our of his shed).  I am really skeeved out.



A_Random_Phrase likes this.

My kids are 8, 5 and 2!
midnightwriter is offline  
#38 of 52 Old 11-20-2010, 03:08 PM
 
Latte Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: In toddler tantrum land
Posts: 1,192
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Please stop giving this dude money.  Please.  I fear for the safety of your family OP.  Say NO and you don't keep cash at home anymore.  Simple.

~PurityLake~ likes this.

Mama to one 2 yr. old tornado banana.gif
Latte Mama is offline  
#39 of 52 Old 11-20-2010, 03:34 PM
 
liliaceae's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 1,946
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I would call the police now, just to let them know what's going on.


lady.gifMama to DS banana.gif(5) and DD broc1.gif(2)
 

liliaceae is offline  
#40 of 52 Old 11-20-2010, 03:59 PM
 
hopefulfaith's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 2,124
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I feel like he's casing your house, or something.  I just don't have a true feeling about people asking people they barely know for money.


Mama to A 8/05 and S 11/06
hopefulfaith is offline  
#41 of 52 Old 11-20-2010, 06:59 PM
 
thefreckledmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Suburban Midwest
Posts: 2,022
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

When I initially read the first post, after the obvious fishiness of it, my second thought was, "You need to go talk with the parent(s) of the little girl, because if this guy is NOT her dad, he's at least interacted with her enough to know her name."  NOT GOOD.

 

After the updates, I have to ask, are you SURE this guy lives back there?  If not, could you make some cookies or some other treat you could walk over?  You could say you just wanted to "officially" say hello and meet the family, since you hadn't had the chance.  If he doesn't live there, then you know you have a serious problem on your hands. 

 

Regardless of anything else, you need to sit down with your husband and agree that regardless of the circumstance, the next time this guy shows up asking for money, there's none to be had, and make sure to get across the fact that the previous times were a fluke.  Even if it is as innocent as the guy is legit and is just going to be a nuisance about asking for money here and there, that can escalate to an all the time thing, which I've dealt with and is a huge pain in the arse.


jamie. crinkly (not quite crunchy) mama to 4 amazing girls, an awesome little boy, and a little surprise making a debut this winter.
thefreckledmama is offline  
#42 of 52 Old 11-20-2010, 08:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
3 little birds's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 994
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I am totally worried as well.  A few days before he showed up for the second time, my kids said that the little girl's grandmother was outside of her house with a police woman and that they officer was looking in the windows with a flashlight.  I wondered if they had been robbed or vandalized, why else wouldn't they go in the house?   After this, we didn't see any lights on in the house at all, I figured something had happened and they left.  Then Mr. $ showed up, which is why I couldn't believe dh gave him money because something is obviously kosher.  Part of the problem is that the guy looks like George Costanza-totally non threatening.  He told my husband that his truck ran out of gas on the same bridge he told me.  He can't even keep his stories straight.  Dh said that he was glad he didn't bring the $5 back, because now he won't try to get any more money, but I don't believe it.  I just noticed lights on over there so dh is going to have to visit them tomorrow. 

 

I thought about calling the police but thought they would laugh at me.  "You lent your neighbor twenty bucks and he gave it back?!"  They are more concerned with the people getting mugged and shot in their driveways.


wave.gif
3 little birds is offline  
#43 of 52 Old 11-20-2010, 10:41 PM
 
thefreckledmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Suburban Midwest
Posts: 2,022
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I think you're right about the police not giving this situation much attention.  Do you have any friends in the neighborhood?  Could you ask around to see if this mystery man has approached anyone else for money?  

 

I would also be keeping the doors locked, especially when your husband isn't home.  


jamie. crinkly (not quite crunchy) mama to 4 amazing girls, an awesome little boy, and a little surprise making a debut this winter.
thefreckledmama is offline  
#44 of 52 Old 11-21-2010, 08:28 AM
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 3,157
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Talk to your neighbors. Until you find out what is going on, people need to be on the looking for each other.

~PurityLake~ likes this.
Hoopin' Mama is offline  
#45 of 52 Old 11-21-2010, 10:09 AM
 
DaughterOfKali's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: New England
Posts: 12,214
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 5 Post(s)

Let us know how it goes after you speak with your neighbors.  (I'm completely hooked on this now.)


Mama, Artist, Mary Kay Consultant

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
DaughterOfKali is offline  
#46 of 52 Old 11-21-2010, 06:00 PM
 
A_Random_Phrase's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 845
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Did your dh speak with your neighbors?

A_Random_Phrase is offline  
#47 of 52 Old 11-21-2010, 10:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
3 little birds's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 994
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

He hasn't been able to catch them at home yet, but he did notice that the car the man was driving the other morning was in the driveway, which indicates that they are at least familiar with him. 

I do normally keep the doors locked at all times but we have been extra vigilant about the doors and windows, especially when we leave and at night since this whole thing started.


wave.gif
3 little birds is offline  
#48 of 52 Old 11-21-2010, 11:01 PM
 
Aliy's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Lower Mainland BC
Posts: 804
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

okay this is kinda scary.... i'm paranoid but i wuld be really disturbed by this...


SAHM to D ( 10/06 ) A (10/08) & C (03/11)
Aliy is offline  
#49 of 52 Old 11-21-2010, 11:02 PM
 
CookAMH's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: the great northwest
Posts: 4,476
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by 3 little birds View Post

I am totally worried as well.  A few days before he showed up for the second time, my kids said that the little girl's grandmother was outside of her house with a police woman and that they officer was looking in the windows with a flashlight.  I wondered if they had been robbed or vandalized, why else wouldn't they go in the house?   After this, we didn't see any lights on in the house at all, I figured something had happened and they left.  Then Mr. $ showed up, which is why I couldn't believe DH gave him money because something is obviously kosher.  Part of the problem is that the guy looks like George Costanza-totally non threatening.  He told my husband that his truck ran out of gas on the same bridge he told me.  He can't even keep his stories straight.  Dh said that he was glad he didn't bring the $5 back, because now he won't try to get any more money, but I don't believe it.  I just noticed lights on over there so dh is going to have to visit them tomorrow. 

 

I thought about calling the police but thought they would laugh at me.  "You lent your neighbor twenty bucks and he gave it back?!"  They are more concerned with the people getting mugged and shot in their driveways.

 

I disagree about the police laughing or not taking it seriously. Granted, they may not send someone out, but they'll note it and that is important. In my neighborhood, there have been above average burglaries in the last several weeks, and we are encouraged by the police to call in ANYTHING suspicious, to be nosy about things you see and to know your neighbors.  I agree with others that he could be casing your house (and others). If you don't already, keep your doors and windows locked at all times (unless your windows are open...close and lock them when you leave). That is the policy at our house. I know how unnerving this is!
 


Alicia, wife to an loving and faithful DH, and mama to three fantastic though nutty children (cs, then a fast HBAC, then a fast VBAC!!). Planning a third VBAC, again at home, in February 2016.
CookAMH is offline  
#50 of 52 Old 11-22-2010, 03:01 AM
 
Poddi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: BC, Canada
Posts: 1,939
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 11 Post(s)

Ooh now I'm all curious about this, too.  Of course he really COULD be your neighbor and the little girl's dad.  Doesn't rule him out as a sucker, though. 

 

I'd be more annoyed about being bothered at 5:30am than being out of 5 bucks.  If any of my neighbors did that and it's not an emergency, they'd get an earful.  Why couldn't he wait until after 7?  No school is that early.  Well, at least it's not much this time. 

 

We were conned last year by the guy who cleaned out gutter.  Apparently he found some squirrels living on the roof (we knew that) and said we should get rid of them.  And he could do it very cheaply if he buy some stuff from Home Depot.  DH gave him some money.  He never showed up again to deal with the squirrels.  When we called he's always out of town.   We don't know what's the deal with him.  If he didn't trick our money we'd certainly hire him again to clean our gutters, which would pay a lot more than the squirrel money. 

A_Random_Phrase likes this.

Mom to 2 beautiful autistic boys (13 & 12)
Poddi is offline  
#51 of 52 Old 11-22-2010, 03:42 AM
 
wookie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: In my treasure's chest.
Posts: 408
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

very uncomfy position, OP. more than anything i'd be skeeved out that he may be scoping your house at all times. can you hang some sheer curtains near the front? imo, don't be afraid of not opening the dorr to this person even if he can see you guys moving about inside. i would make it clear that i'm not interested in ANY interaction with him anymore. keep us posted.

wookie is offline  
#52 of 52 Old 11-22-2010, 08:01 AM
 
Tarielena's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 253
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

This doesn't help your current situation, but I do have a suggestion for your windows.  When I was younger we lived in a house that had a narrow window that was the same length (from top to bottom) as the front door, and the stairway to the bedrooms was right behind this.  So every morning when we woke up, we'd have to walk right past this window in pajamas etc.  My parents didn't like this, so they bought this sticky window film stuff (I don't know the proper term).  Basically it is clear, but has a pattern on it that clouds it up so it lets all the light in, but you can't see through it.  As long as you don't care about being able to see OUT this works very well.

A_Random_Phrase likes this.
Tarielena is offline  
Reply


User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Online Users: 13,002

46 members and 12,956 guests
AR Chu MA Chow , Arduinna , AshleeSheree , Daffodil , DahliaRW , Dakotacakes , Dear_Rosemary , Deborah , Dovenoir , emmy526 , happy-mama , Janeen0225 , JElaineB , Jenna5591 , justmama , keepingFAITH , LibraSun , lisak1234 , mamabear0314 , MDoc , Mirzam , moominmamma , MylittleTiger , newmamalizzy , RollerCoasterMama , Saladd , samaxtics , sarrahlnorris , SC1983 , SchoolmarmDE , shantimama , Shmootzi , Skippy918 , Smella , Socks , Springshowers , sren , stephalittle , SweetSilver , tifga , Xerxella , zebra15 , zoeyzoo
Most users ever online was 449,755, 06-25-2014 at 12:21 PM.