Classism - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 11-23-2010, 01:25 PM
 
SilverFish's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Montreal
Posts: 865
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

realistically, if you're not going to care how people perceive you, and refuse to make changes to your appearance because of how you get treated, "because what you're wearing should have no effect on how people treat you", then why not get rid of all social conventions altogether? if clothes are just to cover you and keep you warm, then cutting a hole in an old blanket and wearing it serves the same purpose. combing your hair doesn't serve any useful purpose, you might as well just let it mat up or shave it off completely! why bother ever buying a new pair of shoes, or putting on any kind of accessory? you are already bowing to pointless social conventions if you own more than one change of clothes and if any of them are "decorative" in any way at all, if you shower or have your hair cut, or regularly brush your teeth. you'd still be human, people should still treat you nicely when you walk into stores or meet them on the street.

 

no one's saying you need to start wearing Gucci or Prada to get the respect of the PTA moms, they're just saying that if you're so self conscious of how you think people are treating you, then there are simple things you can do that are along the same lines of things you already do every day. you don't need to get all gussied up, or spend hours blow-drying your hair, but if you're going to put on regular-people clothing anyway, it might as well be something flattering and put together (and it is more than possible to find these items at the thrift store or on sale)... if you're going to shower and comb your hair, you might as well get a trim and wear it in a neat and attractive style.

 

no one has ever treated me poorly based on my appearance, and i look quite young and am hardly a fashion-plate. i have gone through multiple style phases, from semi-goth when i was a teenager, to harried, half-awake mama (oh... yesterday?) but i am confident, polite and friendly, and generally following the social conventions of neat, clean dress and personal grooming.

SilverFish is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 11-23-2010, 01:25 PM
 
SilverFish's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Montreal
Posts: 865
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

realistically, if you're not going to care how people perceive you, and refuse to make changes to your appearance because of how you get treated, "because what you're wearing should have no effect on how people treat you", then why not get rid of all social conventions altogether? if clothes are just to cover you and keep you warm, then cutting a hole in an old blanket and wearing it serves the same purpose. combing your hair doesn't serve any useful purpose, you might as well just let it mat up or shave it off completely! why bother ever buying a new pair of shoes, or putting on any kind of accessory? you are already bowing to pointless social conventions if you own more than one change of clothes and if any of them are "decorative" in any way at all, if you shower or have your hair cut, or regularly brush your teeth. you'd still be human, people should still treat you nicely when you walk into stores or meet them on the street.

 

no one's saying you need to start wearing Gucci or Prada to get the respect of the PTA moms, they're just saying that if you're so self conscious of how you think people are treating you, then there are simple things you can do that are along the same lines of things you already do every day. you don't need to get all gussied up, or spend hours blow-drying your hair, but if you're going to put on regular-people clothing anyway, it might as well be something flattering and put together (and it is more than possible to find these items at the thrift store or on sale)... if you're going to shower and comb your hair, you might as well get a trim and wear it in a neat and attractive style.

 

no one has ever treated me poorly based on my appearance, and i look quite young and am hardly a fashion-plate. i have gone through multiple style phases, from semi-goth when i was a teenager, to harried, half-awake mama (oh... yesterday?) but i am confident, polite and friendly, and generally following the social conventions of neat, clean dress and personal grooming.

SilverFish is offline  
Old 11-24-2010, 08:20 AM
 
Queen of Cups's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: super-crunchy-town, VA
Posts: 2,457
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Yep, people treat you differently based on how you are dressed.  I wear makeup and nice clothes (all from thrift stores, though!) and my hair is always styled (pixie cut - it takes 30 seconds!) and people rarely question me. I'm a mostly SAHM, I work part time three days a week while the kids are in school and prefer to dress professionally though my job does not have a strict dress code.  Before I had kids tagging along with me all the time, people thought I was a lot younger than I was and so sometimes I had to let them know that I was actually the manager at the museum I worked at and not a high school volunteer, as was often assumed.  I think a lot of it is how you carry yourself - I walk, talk, and parent with confidence and am almost never questioned.  Part of it is probably my professional appearance, but I do think part of it is just my manor.


Mama to DS (05/04) and DD (11/05), married to a wonderful DH.
Queen of Cups is offline  
Old 11-24-2010, 10:19 PM
 
Chamomile Girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: West of the Sierras East of the Sea
Posts: 2,781
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Honestly I am pretty surprised with the direction this thread has gone.  Many of you are making assumptions that those of us who responded in the affirmative (yes, we have been judged) must be lax with our personal grooming, style or hygiene.  Puhleeze!  Its great that many folks are not the targets of such behavior...or don't notice if they are.  Great.  But to assume that someone is only going to be treated poorly because they need a haircut and a change of style is naive.  I know that I, for one, dress perfectly well and I even shower (!).  I carry myself well and I look people straight in the eye.  People still give me crap...and you know what?  I think it is because I am polite.  I say please and thank you, I open doors for people and I say excuse me.  Where I am I think it is seen as weakness, or perhaps timidity.  If I have the kid with me it is 100X worse (and how interesting is it that nobody has addressed why it is that mothers are treated so much more poorly than other women).

 

Anyways in a nutshell I think that those of you who blame poor treatment on mode of dress ect are looking from the outside in, and grasping at straws.

 

Oh, and Silverfish...you are right.  I think that most social conventions such as how one must dress are crapus.  However I think conventions of behavior such as politeness and showing respect are very, very important.  I do not follow your argument at all.  It almost seems that you are saying that people who choose to wear old blankets are not due the same amount of respect as those who wear Gucci...but I cannot fathom someone actually putting forth that reasoning on MDC so I must be mistaken.

Chamomile Girl is offline  
Old 11-25-2010, 04:52 AM
 
Greenmama2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Mountains of Blue, Australia
Posts: 269
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by Queen of Cups View Post

but I do think part of it is just my manor.


Sorry. This made me laugh spitdrink.gif

Chamomile Girl - you said it!


Grateful mama striving to respect the two precious beings entrusted to me DD '06 and DS '09
Greenmama2 is offline  
Old 11-25-2010, 05:40 AM
 
The4OfUs's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 4,897
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

Yeah, I said I dress casually, not slovenly.  I always thought it was because I don't wear any makeup, and my hair is pulled back (neatly) in a ponytail, am on the very plump side so the clothes don't always look great on me, and I wear (clean, in good shape) sneakers every day....I know that sounds weird.  But maybe people think I'm younger than I am and it's not a class thing...because most people are surprised when they hear I'm 37.  Last time some assumed my age in an amusing situation, I was put at 25/26 so that's a good 10 years younger.  Maybe it's because I'm confident and outgoing and not afraid to give my (polite!) opinions on things, and general knowledge about various subjects, that people think I'm too big for my britches or something if they think I'm 10 years younger.  I'm not sure what it is, all I know is that on first glance people are not really drawn to me/seem hesitant to talk to me, but once I start talking things usually go really well.  I always assumed it was my very casual dress/lack of makeup/ponytail and headband, but maybe it's ageism and not classism.  Fascinating. 


Heather, WAHM to DS (01/04)DD (06/06). Wed to DH(09/97)
The4OfUs is offline  
Old 11-25-2010, 06:49 AM
 
4evermom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: PA
Posts: 8,752
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)

I don't run into this much...  It seems the norm to not wear make-up or have hair that is "done" around here.  I know I'm confident and well spoken.  Although I'm just starting to look my age (40!) with a few gray hairs, I never looked young either.  I'll make sure my clothes are reasonably clean if I'm going out but they are all from thrift stores and not name brands.  I'm sure being self assured and seeming comfortable in different situations goes far because we sure are poor, lol.  I feel like some people are judgmental when I drive an older car.  That amuses me.  

 

I know my dh is more insecure.  He's from a working class family and didn't finish college.  He worries more about how he is dressed if he's running errands in nicer neighborhoods.  I think he just grew up thinking more about the haves and have nots and feeling unequal.  Not that my family was better off financially, but because they were educated, they got the "Oh, you're a ____!"  I remember how excited dh's mother was when his sister got engaged to someone with a PhD so I know he grew up with that kind of thinking. 

 

We've both run into customers being rude and obviously thinking we're inferior when working retail.  I can shrug it off and think it's funny but dh has a harder time with that.  I've gotten "you really should go back to school and get an education" after finishing my B.A.  I think people judge more about what line of work people are in than anything else.  You know how people, especially guys, are always asking what each other do?  Or women ask what each others' husbands do?


Mom to unschooling 4everboy since 8/01
4evermom is offline  
Old 11-25-2010, 07:15 AM
 
Penelope's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: West Papio Creek Trail
Posts: 12,199
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Yeowch. greensad.gif You judge people because of the size/shape of their children's bodies? Or their bodies? Or because you find them to be employing sartorial irony too hiply?

 

Damn.

Remind me not to introduce you to my colleague (a lovely mother of one expecting her seond, and a sociologist, with a tongue piercing) or my niece (who is at 12 sturdily-built, in part because of her years-long treatment for a medical condition, in part because that's simply the shape of her body) or myself, on a day where I'm swearing too much (um, probably every day, sorry) or accidentally dress in a not-authentically-retro whatever. Or to anyone else I love who is fat, which happens to include a whole buncha people. (Ooohhhh, grammar!)

 

I guess I appreciate your honesty, but I'm taken aback by what you're saying here.

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by zinemama View Post

I have no idea whether or not people have ever made assumptions about my social class based on the way I look. I haven't ever sensed it.

However, I make assumptions about other people's class all the time. I don't act on these assumptions or treat the people any differently. Most of the time it's just random people on the same bus with me or in the mall or the hallways at school. But I definitely assume things about people based on (to pick a few):

- excessive use of profanity
- poor grammar
- eyebrow/tongue/chin piercings
- use of profanity toward kids
- dreadlocks on a white person
- lots of make-up
- "ironic" hipster gear (pseudo-vintage bowling shirt, etc.)
- weight (especially people with fat kids)
- clothing with store logos(sweatshirt that says GAP in big letters, etc.)
- talking on cellphone loudly in public

Does this mean I really think people with these attributes are terrible or "low class"? No. Should I have these automatic reactions to them? Of course not. But making these sorts of judgments is what people do, including me.



Can't give up actin' tough, it's all that I'm made of. Can't scrape together quite enough to ride the bus to the outskirts of the fact that I need love. ~ Neko Case

 
Penelope is offline  
Old 11-25-2010, 07:49 AM
 
goldenwillow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: In the trees
Posts: 1,124
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by alana1980 View Post

I notice it.  We have two vehicle.  One is newer and a more expensive and the other is a 1982 Volvo station wagon.  I love it though and think it has lots of character.  Its also my kids favorite car to ride in.  I notice a huge difference in the way I am treated depending on which car I am driving, especially when all three kids are in the back.  Everything from snotty looks from other mom's stopped next to me at red lights when in the older car to being talked down to at a park when we pile out of the car.  I do not receive the same reaction when in the newer, nicer vehicle.


I honestly don't notice this, anymore.  Probably because I really don't care.  DH and I just had a conversation last night that we hope DS doesn't resent us for our views when he is older. 

 

We have 2 1989 Volvos.  One a wagon the other a sedan.  We live in an area that Volvos kickass!  DH and I shared the wagon for years without a problem but decided with the addition of DS that I needed my own wheels. 

When I am next to newer cars I just think, man I am glad I don't have their car payment!  I love our lifestyle.  We are gear heads, dress in gear clothes (outdoor wear that is all typically second hand). 

 

In my younger days... I had the lifted truck, dirt bike and the Jeep towing behind my rig.  Spent a ton of money for no real reason other than to go play.  I was raised a 4 wheeling mama and raced competitively for years.  After escaping my family, I am a "hippie" I am told.  I sold all my toys and then the truck... didn't make sense to drive a huge rig anymore.  I think now... Wow!  I used to fill my fuel tank once a week at like $70-$80 bucks a shot, now it is $30-$40 and lasts for 2 weeks.  I do remember during that time in my life that I would have thought my current car was a piece of you know what!  I was soooo clueless then. 

 

I find others that are stuck in this idea that bigger is better, the more expensive your clothes are the better, the smellier perfume you wear the better...etc... (most of my family are in this category).  I honestly believe those thoughts are toxic and most are striving to be something that they are not and making up the idea that they are ok.  We have some neighbors down the road that have 2 EXPENSIVE cars in the driveway and their house is really dumpy.... priorities are different for everyone. 

 

I am proud that we are who we are and do not care what others think.


'09   
goldenwillow is offline  
Old 11-25-2010, 08:00 AM
 
The4OfUs's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 4,897
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)



 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Penelope View Post

Yeowch. greensad.gif You judge people because of the size/shape of their children's bodies? Or their bodies? Or because you find them to be employing sartorial irony too hiply?

 

Damn.

Remind me not to introduce you to my colleague (a lovely mother of one expecting her seond, and a sociologist, with a tongue piercing) or my niece (who is at 12 sturdily-built, in part because of her years-long treatment for a medical condition, in part because that's simply the shape of her body) or myself, on a day where I'm swearing too much (um, probably every day, sorry) or accidentally dress in a not-authentically-retro whatever. Or to anyone else I love who is fat, which happens to include a whole buncha people. (Ooohhhh, grammar!)

 

I guess I appreciate your honesty, but I'm taken aback by what you're saying here.

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by zinemama View Post

I have no idea whether or not people have ever made assumptions about my social class based on the way I look. I haven't ever sensed it.

However, I make assumptions about other people's class all the time. I don't act on these assumptions or treat the people any differently. Most of the time it's just random people on the same bus with me or in the mall or the hallways at school. But I definitely assume things about people based on (to pick a few):

- excessive use of profanity
- poor grammar
- eyebrow/tongue/chin piercings
- use of profanity toward kids
- dreadlocks on a white person
- lots of make-up
- "ironic" hipster gear (pseudo-vintage bowling shirt, etc.)
- weight (especially people with fat kids)
- clothing with store logos(sweatshirt that says GAP in big letters, etc.)
- talking on cellphone loudly in public

Does this mean I really think people with these attributes are terrible or "low class"? No. Should I have these automatic reactions to them? Of course not. But making these sorts of judgments is what people do, including me.

 


Actually, I think she's saying that while she may think things about people based on what they look or act like, she DOESN'T act on them.,...I mean, really, *everyone* forms opinions about people when they see them, it's what any living thing does when it comes into contact, it assesses the being in front of it; it's instinctual.  I do not believe anyone who says they don't form ideas about a personbased on how they look and act.  The idea is, IMO, you DON'T *treat the person any differently* based on those ideas/feelings you have.  I've seen many a person who *looks* to be "radical" conduct themselves in a far more friendly and polite manner than someone dressed in a mainstream, upscale way, so I know that my primal assessments are only aprt of the picture and I don't base my conduct towards them on what they look like...but that doesn't mean I don't make assessments of their appearance at all.  It is one facet of them; not the only facet, and not one to judge or treat better/worse by, but it *is* a facet, how you present yourself to the general population. 

 

 

Like, for instance.....assuming that a person who *is* dressed very trendy and has hair and makeup done is shallow.  I ahve a couple very down to earth friends who happen to always look well put together, and I'd hate for someone to assume they were vapid or superficial based on that.


Heather, WAHM to DS (01/04)DD (06/06). Wed to DH(09/97)
The4OfUs is offline  
Old 11-25-2010, 09:08 AM
 
lach's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: MA
Posts: 1,923
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by 4evermom View Post

I don't run into this much...  It seems the norm to not wear make-up or have hair that is "done" around here.  I know I'm confident and well spoken.  Although I'm just starting to look my age (40!) with a few gray hairs, I never looked young either.  I'll make sure my clothes are reasonably clean if I'm going out but they are all from thrift stores and not name brands.  I'm sure being self assured and seeming comfortable in different situations goes far because we sure are poor, lol.  I feel like some people are judgmental when I drive an older car.  That amuses me.  

 

I know my dh is more insecure.  He's from a working class family and didn't finish college.  He worries more about how he is dressed if he's running errands in nicer neighborhoods.  I think he just grew up thinking more about the haves and have nots and feeling unequal.  Not that my family was better off financially, but because they were educated, they got the "Oh, you're a ____!"  I remember how excited dh's mother was when his sister got engaged to someone with a PhD so I know he grew up with that kind of thinking. 

 

We've both run into customers being rude and obviously thinking we're inferior when working retail.  I can shrug it off and think it's funny but dh has a harder time with that.  I've gotten "you really should go back to school and get an education" after finishing my B.A.  I think people judge more about what line of work people are in than anything else.  You know how people, especially guys, are always asking what each other do?  Or women ask what each others' husbands do?



:yeah to all of the above.

 

I guess I'm a bit confused by the dressing up thing, because that's not my experience at all.  I live in a fairly upscale area, and the uniform around here is yoga pants (or a tennis skort in summer), a hoodie, and a sloppy ponytail.  DH used to amuse himself by going to car dealerships and looking at fancy new cars (he likes cars) and he always found that the more dressed down he was, the better service he got and the quicker they were to offer a test drive.  I'm sure there are class markers that I recognize, but I'm not sure what they are, or how to describe them... but I definetly don't think being dressed up/down are.  I have to say that I'm a bit dubious about all the old Volvo stories on here... I think there's a running joke that the older your Swedish car, the richer you are.  I'm pretty sure The Preppy Handbook even talks about that.

 

The retail thing really rings true.  I worked retail in grad school, because the schedule is flexible and easy to fit around classes, and it was always really eye-rolly how customers would act shocked that I was even literate.


Trying to live a simple life in a messy house in a complicated world with : DH, DD (b. 07/07), DS (b. 02/09), and DD (b. 10/10)
lach is offline  
Old 11-26-2010, 04:30 AM
 
Bellabaz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Gex, France
Posts: 826
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I look young and most people assume I am the au pair when they see me with my kids. If I am by myself I sometimes feel like people are treating me as though I am young which equals stupid or able to be walked on. I live in an area that is full of people making very good salaries. My dh's salary isn't bad but we aren't rolling in it either. BUt when I tell them where he works they just assume that we are well off. They don't understand why we are staying int he aprt. we are living in. We could in reality afford something bigger/nicer but the rent is cheap for our area and we want to buy a house some day, so we save where we can.

 

My ILs are the worst though. My MIL won't buy anything that isn't name brand, not tissues, olive oil, nothing. It drives her up a wall that dh works somewhere where he doesn't need to wear a shirt and tie everyday. Some people are just like that and its sad for them.

 

I get how its frustrating to have tofight for ever little thing though. I livei n a foreigner country where the civil servants usually don't know the laws and rights thery are in charge of organizing. SO we have to fight for everything. Add to that the fact taht we are foreign and I lîke a student and its pretty unpleasant.


Mamma to dd1 3/8/07, one 9.5.08, and dd2 9/9/09
Bellabaz is offline  
Old 11-26-2010, 07:38 AM
 
CatsCradle's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: New York City
Posts: 1,945
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

In the end, if you feel good about yourself, then it really shouldn't matter how others think, right?  Honestly, when I was younger, what people thought mattered a whole lot more than now.  I see a lot of posters on here who are disturbed about how younger people are perceived (i.e. stupid, dumb, etc.).  Point is, we are/were all young once.  Perceptions and feelings change as one ages.  I can honestly say that as time passes, I tend to care less and less what others think.  I never got the feeling that people thought I was "dumb" when I was young.  In fact, I perceived the older people as mentors in my life and learned from their experiences.  It is all a matter of perception.  One can take the attitude of feeling belittled or one can strive to become a distinct individual and feel proud of one's station.  Even at 47, I know that I have a lot to learn.  In fact, I feel dumber now than ever, simply because I've come to the realization that life is so huge and I have so much to yet learn.  I think the beauty of getting older is realizing that you really do not know a lot, despite education and experiences, etc.  I imagine that when I'm 90, I will still not have a complete grasp on what life means...it is part of being human.  What keeps me sane is knowing that I'm constantly learning, constantly open to new ideas and experiences.  If people feel like they know everything when they're my age, then they have a very limited view of the world.  As far as material stuff, so what?  My first goal is to feed, cloth and educate my family.  Everything else is just silver and gold.  Squirrels collect shiny things.  We don't sit around questioning their happiness.  


"Lawyers, I suppose, were children once." Charles Lamb.
CatsCradle is offline  
Old 11-26-2010, 08:15 AM
 
widemouthedfrog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,022
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

For me, it's a matter of confidence. I grew up teased and bullied a lot. I was the tall, shy and nerdy kid that the teachers loved and other kids could do without. I chose a profession that is very much undervalued and where people think that I must be volunteering because no one with a Masters degree would choose to work where I work (according to them - lots of people do, actually).

 

Since I had dd and got a chronic illness, you know what? I don't care what other people think. My life is my life, and I am happy with it or I try to change it. I will not let other people dictate what I need to do to fit in. I'm not saying that other people can go to you-know-where, but if other people are rude and look down on me I am either baffled or amused. I believe that I am competent and this shows.

 

Seeing someone who is confident and educated and happy doing what she is doing? That's a lesson for other people, and that's a way to change the world. In many years of working at my job, I have had quite a number of people who are well off and well dressed and unhappy in their current position in life ask how they can get into my career path. 


Tricia, treehugger.gif wild.gif geek.gif mama of dd (6) 

widemouthedfrog is offline  
Old 11-26-2010, 08:20 AM
 
CatsCradle's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: New York City
Posts: 1,945
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by widemouthedfrog View Post

For me, it's a matter of confidence. I grew up teased and bullied a lot. I was the tall, shy and nerdy kid that the teachers loved and other kids could do without. I chose a profession that is very much undervalued and where people think that I must be volunteering because no one with a Masters degree would choose to work where I work (according to them - lots of people do, actually).

 

Since I had dd and got a chronic illness, you know what? I don't care what other people think. My life is my life, and I am happy with it or I try to change it. I will not let other people dictate what I need to do to fit in. I'm not saying that other people can go to you-know-where, but if other people are rude and look down on me I am either baffled or amused. I believe that I am competent and this shows.

 

Seeing someone who is confident and educated and happy doing what she is doing? That's a lesson for other people, and that's a way to change the world. In many years of working at my job, I have had quite a number of people who are well off and well dressed and unhappy in their current position in life ask how they can get into my career path. 



thumb.gif


"Lawyers, I suppose, were children once." Charles Lamb.
CatsCradle is offline  
Old 11-26-2010, 09:24 AM
 
The4OfUs's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 4,897
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

I don't really care either, but I sitll think it sucks that people can be that way, because I know that there are other people who are just naturally more sensitive to others' opinions. 


Heather, WAHM to DS (01/04)DD (06/06). Wed to DH(09/97)
The4OfUs is offline  
Old 11-26-2010, 10:37 AM
 
Queen of Cups's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: super-crunchy-town, VA
Posts: 2,457
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Greenmama2 View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by Queen of Cups View Post

but I do think part of it is just my manor.


Sorry. This made me laugh spitdrink.gif

Chamomile Girl - you said it!


HA! I didn't even notice my mistake, that will teach me to write in a hurry!  Manner, of course. (The thought of calling our sweet little log cabin a manor is very amusing, though...)


Mama to DS (05/04) and DD (11/05), married to a wonderful DH.
Queen of Cups is offline  
Old 11-28-2010, 10:41 PM
 
polka123's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: in criminally lenient, corrupt PA & *missing AZ *
Posts: 7,794
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I ignore any of that nonsense.  What gives anyone the right the place anyone in any category?

Being close to 50 yo, I've seen a huge change in "perceptions".

I mean really, anymore if one doesn't look like a slob, there's a different perception.

Even when I was a very broke but employed single mama, we had clean, previously owned clothes.

LOL. I think it's a matter of self confidence as well.


Me & DH hug2.gif , adult DD lips.gif & 7 yo DS guitar.gif . 2 GSDs, 6 rescue kitties, 4 birds & a gerbil.
polka123 is offline  
Old 11-30-2010, 01:16 AM
 
Viola's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Nevada
Posts: 22,549
Mentioned: 4 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 10 Post(s)

I am sort of curious what zinemama and any other people think of fat people with fat kids, because I am a rather fat woman with chubby kids.  I need to know the best way to advocate for my children, because I don't want them to be discounted in life because of their appearance.  And as much as we try and treat people equally, when we have automatic assumptions about their lives and lifestyles, those can affect how we treat other people regardless of whether we mean for that to happen.

Viola is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off