Mothers of Sons....are we destined to be disliked by future DILs? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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Old 01-23-2011, 02:21 PM
 
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Yeah, most likely. mischievous.gif duh.gif  Or that might just be me, I dunno.

 

 I am pretty sure my future DIL will find me quite... different. And that's okay, I am pretty out there, and I am comfy with it. I think what I'll aim for is honesty, tact, respect, and as much minding my own business as I can muster. LOL.


"The true measure of a man is how he treats a man who can do him absolutely no good."
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Old 01-23-2011, 06:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SubliminalDarkness View Post

I agree that it's about boundaries.... Seeing where they are and not overstepping them. Every issue we've had with my parents or my in-laws has involved them overstepping boundaries. My kids are mine, and I don't need anyone's input or direction or demands. My kids are my chance to do things my way, my grandkids are not. 



Exactly!!

 


"Our task is not to see the future, but to enable it."
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Old 01-26-2011, 08:11 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverFish View Post

 

anyway, it's becoming apparent that the difference in values which we have (my parents and us) are actually far greater than i realized pre-child, and the things that annoy or bother me about my inlaws are completely insignificant when it comes to our relationship as a family.


I really, really like this sentiment.  I'm sorry you've had the problems with your own family, but I love the feel of this realization.
 


Heather, WAHM to DS (01/04)DD (06/06). Wed to DH(09/97)
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Old 01-27-2011, 12:16 PM
 
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Goodness, I hope not! I have a great relationship with my ILs; in fact I consider them to be my adoptive parents. My MIL is incredibly loving, caring, generous, and knows when to back off and when to gently step in with advice or guidance. In the almost eight years that DH and I have been together, we've almost never clashed--and that's in no small part to my MIL's obvious efforts to include me in the family from the first day we met, and her refusal to try and get between DH and me.

Most of the MILs I hear about on here have done awful things to their DIL, or have unrealistic expectations of what their relationship with their son should be after their son gets married (i.e. they think they should have a say in how the children are raised, or the DH's career, or how the DIL should keep her house, etc.). If I ever act like that to my future DIL(s), I hope they'll have enough self-respect to put me in my place. I wouldn't want my son(s) to marry a doormat!

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When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty. --George Bernard Shaw

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