Would you feel uncomfortable? - Mothering Forums

 
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#1 of 21 Old 01-31-2011, 03:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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If you and your family were using the family change room at the public pool and a male custodian came in and started cleaning?  We were changing today, I was done changing and fully clothed and my dh was in the shower.  I was taking off my 3 year ds's swimsuit and the custodian popped his head in the room.  Then a few minutes later he came in and started mopping the floor around us and caught an eyeful of my dh showering. I'm glad it wasn't me in there.  It is a really small town and we are usually the only people in the pool/changerooms, but as we were finishing up a dad and daughter came in and that didn't make me feel weird, but I have to admit the custodian put me on egde.  I get that it is a family change room and so both male and female peoples are welcome, but it just felt strange nonetheless.  I wonder if he does that in the ladies changerooom?  Or maybe because it is a family space he doesn't think anything of cleaning around people.  I would have felt even more uncomfortable if it was just me and my son and my dh wasn't there.  Thoughts?


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#2 of 21 Old 01-31-2011, 05:02 PM
 
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Hmmm.... I think that's weird.  But honestly I am having a hard time understanding how that works for more than one family at a time anyway.  At our pool, the family changing room is just for one family at a time, and no one else could go in.  I mean, I would feel really weird if I were in one like yours and a dad came in and just started getting nude with me and my DC.  But that's me!

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#3 of 21 Old 01-31-2011, 05:12 PM
 
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Yes, I would be very uncomfortable in that situation.  But I would also think it was odd for a woman cleaner to come in because our family changing rooms are so small that they really only allow one or maybe two families at a time.  Ours also have locks so you can lock others out for privacy.

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#4 of 21 Old 01-31-2011, 06:47 PM
 
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I always thought family changing rooms were for one family at a time. In that case, yeah I'd feel weird if a cleaning person came in. If it was a big room with stalls (and doors/curtains), then I wouldn't think it was weird at all. In fact, I always thought it was strange that cleaning people wait 'til everyone's out before cleaning the opposite-sex bathroom (or that bathrooms are separated by sex in the first place) -- seriously, there are stalls with locks, I guess they worry about peepers or something??? Otherwise I just don't see the big deal. Anyway.. off on a tangent, sorry... yeah, depends how the room was set up, but it might make me uncomfortable.


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#5 of 21 Old 01-31-2011, 06:58 PM
 
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Our family change rooms have cubicles with private showers, so the only ones in the public area are usually putting on shoes or getting very small children dressed. So, no. It wouldn't bother me.


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#6 of 21 Old 01-31-2011, 08:29 PM
 
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Doesn't sound weird to me. Maybe our family changerooms are different. They have public showers (expectation that adults will stay in suits). Then the walls are lined with large changing cubicles.

 

I don't see how a man coming in to clean would be any weirder than a woman doing so, especially as there are other men in there.

 

I worked at pools for years & I can pretty much guarantee a male staff would never go into the women's changeroom with anyone in there.


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#7 of 21 Old 01-31-2011, 08:48 PM
 
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ew. what do you mean that he "caught an eyeful of your DH showering"? how did that happen -- is there no curtain, did he stare for a moment? i can't say for sure, but from the description of events, sounds like he might be a pervert. also, why did he "pop his head in" in the first place? seems that if he was going to take a quick look and see if anyone was in there, then he would NOT have come in minutes later to start cleaning around you. if he was going to come in and clean anyway, why did he first pop his head in and take a quick look around? definitely weird.

 

in fact, i'd bring it up with management. unless, God forbid, he is the management. in which case, i'd definitely quit going there.

 

also i think that's weird that another family comes in while you are in there. i've been to family bathrooms with my kids. it's one big room, usually with one or two toilets next to each other, no stalls, and a sink or two. the door LOCKS. if another family came in and started peeing while we were sitting on the toilet, definitely weird. same applies to the change room scenario, unless i'm missing something...


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#8 of 21 Old 01-31-2011, 09:25 PM
 
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Personally I wouldn't be the least bit uncomfortable. First of... I'm guessing the male custodian has seen a penis before. Second, like others have posted, most family changing rooms around here are no different than other changing rooms except that lone adults aren't allowed, only parents with children. And third, I'd be happy to know the changing rooms are cleaned regularly, there are a couple of places around here I won't go to because the changing rooms are disgusting. 

 

ETA: It is possible that they have a female custodian to clean the ladies changing room during the day.


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#9 of 21 Old 01-31-2011, 10:47 PM
 
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It sounds like it was more of a unisex locker room (since you mentioned the other dad and daughter coming in). In that case, I don't think it's weird. How is the male custodian seeing you guys any different than the other dad seeing you guys? 


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#10 of 21 Old 02-01-2011, 03:18 AM
 
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Well it would bother me,and I would probably complain about it so that workers are told to wait. In the least there should be a cleaning in progress sign placed by the door like they do in store bathrooms.

 

 I only use family changing  rooms with locking doors even though we are really suppose to use the open locker rooms. No way am I sending my ds into the male locker room alone.

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#11 of 21 Old 02-01-2011, 05:28 AM
 
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I use family changing rooms all the time, even if it's just DD and me and we could conceivably use the women's changing room.  I just feel more comfortable in the family rooms.  I wouldn't be uncomfortable with a male custodian in the family rooms, but I guess, like others, I can't fully visualize the changing room you're talking about.  Open showers or showers with doors/curtains?

 

I also don't mind a male custodian coming into the ladies room if I'm in there.  I mean, I'm in a stall!  Of course, they never take me up on the offer and wait outside.


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#12 of 21 Old 02-01-2011, 05:58 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for perspective everyone.  Probably not a perv, but just some guy doing his job.  Come to think of it, when we are in there people, ladies/girls to be exact, come in to use the toilet (behind a locked door, just like the 4 changerooms), and I don't have this uncomfortable feeling about it.  Maybe I just picked up on a weird vibe from the guy personally.  We just prefer to use this changeroom because it is a lot easier with 2 kids that both dh and I can help each other out.  But I'm thinking I'd rather take the kids with me into the ladies from now on. 


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#13 of 21 Old 02-01-2011, 09:42 AM
 
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I'm fine with other families coming into the room while we are changing (ours is a large group room and does  not lock). Somehow it feels a bit different to have someone come in who is not changing. i don't really know why.

 

Thinking about it I'm always a bit uncomfortable with people cleaning around me, even if DH. It make me feel in the way so I'd probably fell rushed out.

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#14 of 21 Old 02-01-2011, 09:49 PM
 
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I would be uncomfortable, but mainly because it would bring forth the fear that it would be appropriate for a male employee to walk in if it was just me and my DD (DH not there). If I was alone with my DD, naked, and a dude walked in, I would be very uncomfortable. I just dont think it is a good practice for employees to walk in and start cleaning when people are naked.


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#15 of 21 Old 02-02-2011, 08:32 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama View Post

If I was alone with my DD, naked, and a dude walked in, I would be very uncomfortable.



Just employees, or any man? Because if you were using a large unisex change room, I'd think you'd have to be okay with the possibility of a man walking in. 


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#16 of 21 Old 02-02-2011, 09:02 AM
 
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Since it wasn't one of those family rooms that really are just for one family at a time, I wouldn't have been bothered but I would have been bothered with him mopping around us. I think it's rude and would have told him if he gave me a second I'd be out of his way or moved to another area. 

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#17 of 21 Old 02-02-2011, 09:13 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gbailey View Post

Since it wasn't one of those family rooms that really are just for one family at a time, I wouldn't have been bothered but I would have been bothered with him mopping around us. I think it's rude and would have told him if he gave me a second I'd be out of his way or moved to another area. 


this is so true. it IS rude to clean around people when they are eating their dinner (in a restaurant). the cleaner could just as easily do everything BUT your table (when you're the only ones in the restaurant) and then come back and do your table once you are gone. but it's for their own convenience that they just have to do it, then and there, and inconvenience you and sorta spoil your dinner.

 

similarly, it is rude in the changing room to make you feel rushed, etc.

 

and i think the "perv" part comes up b/c WHY is it so darn important that he cleaned right then and there? why not poke his head in (which OP said he did), see that it is occupied, and thus decide to wait the 10 minutes or so for it to clear. again, i ask: why did he bother to poke his head in to check and see if it was occupied, when he went ahead and cleaned anyway?
 


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#18 of 21 Old 02-05-2011, 08:44 PM
 
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I am trying to imagine the set-up. The only family changing rooms I have experience w/ were single rooms w/ a lock. They were designed for a family to use and definitely not for multiple families or people coming in to clean.

 

If this was a large room designed for unisex use (e.g. with changing stalls, for instance) then I guess I'd expect that cleaners and people of other genders would be in and out of the room. I wouldn't think anything different about another family than I would about someone doing cleaning.

 

I would prefer to use a family room like I described above. I would be uncomfortable showering or changing clothes in a mixed-gender changing room.

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#19 of 21 Old 02-07-2011, 08:57 AM
 
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Ya that is creepy. He needs to wait until its empty to clean.

 

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#20 of 21 Old 02-23-2011, 06:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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OP here.  Well I've moved past feeling that the guy is just doing his job, to being totally creeped out by him.  Not saying he is a creep, just that I feel creeped out.  The other day when I was there he came in and mopped while I was in there getting ready to swim and then again after swimming when we were changing to go home.  We were the only people using the changeroom (small town, not many people) , it really didn't even need to be mopped either time. I am going to mention something at the front desk before we go swimming next time, like ask if it is possible that he not come in while we are using the room.  First of all his mop makes the floor all wet and slippery and second of all it creeps me out!!!  It even makes my dh feel strange and he is the one usually telling me to chill out. 


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#21 of 21 Old 02-24-2011, 06:34 AM
 
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OK that is bizarre. I can't imagine why he'd need to mop it twice in one afternoon... that is creepy. I'd definitely speak to management about it.

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