Inviting in laws you don't care for to a birthday party - Mothering Forums

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Old 02-21-2011, 10:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
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DH's birthday is about 5 months away and I wanted to throw him a surprise party. I'm great at throwing kiddo parties and asked one of my great girlfriends to help me come up with some adult themed kind of things which she's great at. She asked how many people I planned on inviting and I started reading off the list I compiled. She knows I deal with the majority of my in laws with a long handed spoon and wanted to know why I was bothering to invite them. Her opinon is it's not necessary because the relations are somewhat strained. If it were a party for me, I wouldn't care to have them included but since the party is for my DH, shouldn't I invite the people I believe he'd want there? Truthfully, I don't think his mother would bother to make the trip or his sister but I think inviting them (whether they show up or not isn't on me) is the right thing to do. I'm curious to know what other posters think.

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Old 02-21-2011, 10:51 AM
 
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Five years ago I would have invited mine, only because they are his parents and that's the right thing to do.  Not at all because I wanted them there or dh would even care.  In fact he'd probably be like "why are my parents here?"

 

Now, I wouldn't bother.  They don't care, we don't care and we don't bother to pretend to anymore.

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Old 02-21-2011, 11:09 AM
 
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If you believe he'd want them there, then you should put your gripes with them aside and invite them. It's a party for him, not you.

If you think he wouldn't want them there, or wouldn't care a bit, then that'd be another story.

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Old 02-21-2011, 11:09 AM
 
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We tend to have 2 celebrations. One with ds's friends and their families (ie:also the people I socialize with). Another with just in-laws which is maybe a day at Grandma's with dinner and cupcakes.  The two worlds just don't mix well, so that's what we do.

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Old 02-21-2011, 11:13 AM
 
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I would invite them. First, your husband still talks to them. Plus, hasn't your relationship with them been a source of contention in your marriage? For that reason alone, it makes sense to me to include them because they *are* important to your DH, whether you like it or not. Excluding them likely would upset your husband.

 


It's us: DH , DS ; DD ; and me . Also there's the . And the 3 . I . Oh, and .
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Old 02-21-2011, 09:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the replies all.  I agree I should invite them and I will. It would matter to him which I explained to my friend. She has good intentions because she doesn't want me uncomfortable but I know DH would enjoy having them or at least knowing they were invited. DHs joy means more to me than any gripes with the in laws.

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Old 02-21-2011, 09:48 PM
 
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You know what? I totally thought this was a party for your DS not your DH. I read it too fast. Ignore my response :)

Have fun!!

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Old 02-21-2011, 10:15 PM
 
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If it's a party for your DH and he would want them there, you should invite them.

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Old 02-22-2011, 04:23 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gbailey View Post

Thanks for the replies all.  I agree I should invite them and I will. It would matter to him which I explained to my friend. She has good intentions because she doesn't want me uncomfortable but I know DH would enjoy having them or at least knowing they were invited. DHs joy means more to me than any gripes with the in laws.


I agree that what your dh would want would be what you should do. I'm sure he will feel very happy that you make the effort for him.


Kim ~mom to one awesome dd (12)

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