Do you ever get tired of so many things being so overly-sexualized? - Mothering Forums

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Old 03-06-2011, 11:32 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am just seeing this more and more of this.

 

DH was invited to a trade show, by some people who had never been to it before, but were going. I looked it up online to see what it was. I don't watch YouTube videos 99% of the time, but for some reason, I watched the 'promo' video from the last year's show. In the first few seconds of the video, there were two very questionably dressed women walking around, one suggestively clutching bananas to her chest and handing them out. And no- this is not a trade show about clothes or bananas. In fact, it it supposed to be for the whole family and in the next room are clowns, balloons, and jump houses, etc. Is it me, or is that just off? And my DC loooove bananas. I could just see them swarming her. It bothers me that if I hadn't watched the video, we would have had no warning, because it otherwise looks like a reputable trade show, from the website and things.

 

Even just Christmas-- We had some people drop off presents for the DC, and DH and I peeled back the paper to check on what they were. Too of them were board games, one with a very suggestively dresses Barbie/Bratz/Princess something on the box. The other was a game with cartoon animals. The male animals looked just like regular old naked cartoon animals, but on the female animal- they had drawn a little pink lacy top on her and had her laying down in a sideways pose not unlike a center fold. Really?! On a toddler game?

 

DD needs underwear and that is a whole other thread. I can't believe some of the styles out there for little girls.

 

I know it is just the world that we live in and all that. I just get tired of it. There is plenty of that stuff for people who want it, I just wish it wasn't everywhere else for those who don't want it, yk?

 

(I really don't want this to turn into a porn debate or something- I just wanted to vent.)

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Old 03-06-2011, 11:44 AM
 
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I agree 100%, specifically about the sexualization of little girls. I was just remarking to my husband about that the other day when I saw a Facebook 'Friend's' photo shoot of a summer bathing suit type spread (she's a photographer). The girls' poses and manner of dress was SO sexualized - we're talking poses like in Sport's Illustrated Swimsuit Issue where it looks like the model is taking down her bikini bottom (you know what I mean, right?) -- full faces of make-up, very skimpy bikinis (beyond just a little girl's bikini) etc. These were tiny girls too, 3, 5, 7. Ick. Yeah, it bothers me a lot - especially being a survivor of sexual abuse. It's triggering to think they are sexualizing everything to the point where they are mixing adult sexualization/images/behaviors with children. Ugh. I mean if you found images like that on a random man's computer, he'd probably get arrested -- but hey, it was to make money for a magazine (a "family" magazine no less) so anything goes.

 

I get that consenting adults are free to do with consenting adults what they choose in those areas. Like you said though, I would think it would be reserved for consenting adults, not for family-friendly events and products/situations geared toward children.


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Old 03-06-2011, 11:53 AM
 
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You know, I don't really get offended, and I sometimes don't even see the sexualization in something that others see (for example, as a photographer, I am not sure I see the above described photo shoot as oversexualizing girls, though I would have to actually see the pictures to make a real judgement, I may be visualizing something different than what it actually is.) 

 

But, yes, I do get tired of it.  I remember recently watching some awards show, don't remember which one.  And a singer came out to perform, with the whole stage act, again, don't remember which one.  And while the song they were performing itself wasn't all that sexual, the performance included a lot of bumping and grinding and shirts almost falling off the breasts of the women and so on.  I just remember thinking "really?  again?  Can't someone, anyone do a song and dance without making it so sexual?"  It's like that's the only way people know how to perform anymore. 

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Old 03-06-2011, 01:11 PM
 
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Not sure where you are, but I'm in Germany and I can tell you it's way worse here than in the US. They show boobs on billboards and the daily yellow press rag has a picture of a naked girl on the front page...and lots of people read it. I've been sitting on the train and seen an old lady reading it and the front page folded out-facing and had to look at those breasts. Even just today my MIL was here and by chance found a copy of that paper while she was out and brought it in the house....boobs and all!

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Old 03-06-2011, 01:20 PM
 
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I don't mind boobs per se. Boobs for breastfeeding, breasts in a nude painting at a museum, boobs on a topless native woman in National Geographic,  stuff like that is fine with me. Even Michelangelo's David has a penis hangin' out. That's cool. Nudity has it's time and place.  In the example I gave in my first post regarding the photography on Facebook ---  I would find a picture of toddlers playing nudie in a sprinkler so much LESS sexualizing (like not at all!) but the full face of make-up, skimpy bikini, posing like they are pulling the bottom off, pouting with red lipsticked lips type images of little girls just gives me a really, really, really icky feeling because all those things are generally considered sexually appealing to ADULTS who (presumably) are trying to attract a sexual partner or give the image of doing such,  and have no place on a 5 year old or being marketed to one.  


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Old 03-06-2011, 02:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Wow.  So I can be glad I'm in the US then.  That's just so off.  I hate being exposed to sexual images like that when I don't want to be, but double when my DC are there.

 

To clarify- It's not the actual nudity that I don't like- I know you will all know what I mean.  It is the overly-sexualized, has-to-be-perfect-in-every-way nudity, and also the way that it is just everywhere- from DC's toys to 'family' places, etc.  I mean, the last time we ate at Pizza Hut with Book-It coupons (so you would think it would be 'safe) the waitress had holes in her jeans cut on purpose to expose her panties, and I had to ask them to change the channel because the TV was showing not just a man on top of a woman in bed, with a sheet, but actual thrusting.  I have no idea what show it was, but they did change it to cartoons.

 

I would be completely happy if it were only toddler butts, breastfeeding, or in art museums, or whatever (...and obviously more in other places for that *choose* to want to see all that).  I just feel like my family's choice isn't respected.

 

I just hate that half the time I can't take DC to the store without seeing soft core porn.

 

I honestly hate that I see all those other 95% naked bodies, and all of them are fake, air-brushed, lifted and 'enhanced'... and there are no other real normal bodies I see but my own (as far as adult women).  Not exactly good for the average woman's self image.

 

 

 

 

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Old 03-06-2011, 02:48 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Tumble Bumbles View Post

I don't mind boobs per se. Boobs for breastfeeding, breasts in a nude painting at a museum, boobs on a topless native woman in National Geographic,  stuff like that is fine with me. Even Michelangelo's David has a penis hangin' out. That's cool. Nudity has it's time and place.  In the example I gave in my first post regarding the photography on Facebook ---  I would find a picture of toddlers playing nudie in a sprinkler so much LESS sexualizing (like not at all!) but the full face of make-up, skimpy bikini, posing like they are pulling the bottom off, pouting with red lipsticked lips type images of little girls just gives me a really, really, really icky feeling because all those things are generally considered sexually appealing to ADULTS who (presumably) are trying to attract a sexual partner or give the image of doing such,  and have no place on a 5 year old or being marketed to one.  



Yeah, there's a lot to be said about the intent of the image. There is showing the ideal human form (David) and then there's showing the ideal human form in an attempt to titillate and sell something (a perfume ad in Cosmo.) Speaking of Cosmo, that's what gets me. Standing in the checkout line at the grocery store with my boys - who can all read - staring at the headlines in Cosmo. And the half-naked woman with the come-hither look. You can't turn the magazine around, because the back cover is three models all in each other's business sans clothing. So you have to find another magazine to put in front of it. 

I think our culture's obsession with sexuality is completely unhealthy. It's disproportionate, completely out of balance. Sex is a part of life, sure, but does it have to be front-and-center, 99% of the time in the media? 


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Old 03-06-2011, 02:58 PM
 
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i get so tired of it and i am not a prude by any means! i had never seen a very popular reality tv show until recently i heard a clip of it- one guy actually said this (or something similar): "i am going to be in the house for 60 days, i hope to get 60 different girls or if i miss a night i will double up winky.gif" i almost puked in my mouth a little! its just too much.


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Old 03-06-2011, 03:07 PM
 
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I agree with everyone! I do not look forward to my son seeing all those sexualized images and thinking women are supposed to (or even physically can) look like those airbrushed models.

And the sexualized toddlers freak me out! I can't believe anyone would allow their daughter to pose like that!

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Old 03-06-2011, 05:23 PM
 
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I was soooo sick of it when I lived in Vegas, it's was just ridiculous there. Here, I don't see it out and about on billboards or anything. It's still over the top on TV and in movies. I was just commenting recently that I think it's impossible for a network TV series to not have a strip club scene at some point no matter how it has nothing do with the show they have to make someone end up in one.

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Old 03-06-2011, 05:27 PM
 
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DD needs underwear and that is a whole other thread. I can't believe some of the styles out there for little girls.

 



When my dd was little ( I'd say 4-10ish) I ended up shopping in the boys section for her shorts because the girls clothes were just completely sexualized and inappropriate IMO.

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Old 03-06-2011, 06:06 PM
 
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One of the reasons I don't take my kids to movies and I'm very cautious about what they watch on TV is precisely because I don't want them oversexualized. We had neighbors who used to give us a lot of hand-me down clothes. While I was grateful for the clothes, I learned after the first batch to go through them alone to make sure that there weren't styles in there that I found to sexualized for a 5 year old. (The girl in question had 2 teenage sisters, and I suspect she wanted to look more like her older sisters.)

 

I have to say, though, that I've never had a problem finding appropriate underwear:

Hanes makes lovely age-appropriate underwear like this; http://www.hanes.com/Hanes/Categories/Kids-Hanes/Kids_Girls-Hanes/Kids_Girls_girlsunderwear-Hanes.aspx, even if you object to bikini style, the briefs, low rise briefs and hipsters are all quite modest. I buy them at Target.


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Old 03-06-2011, 07:45 PM
 
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Yes, I get tired of it. And it gets old & boring.

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Old 03-06-2011, 08:48 PM
 
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I have a lot of problem with people saying things about babies or toddlers being "sexy" even if they mean it innocuously.  I always make a point of correcting them that babies are not "sexy" and that I find it inappropriate.  They almost always agree, but it is so ingrained in society that it is unintentional - even among my crunchier friends. 

 

I'm big about media awareness, even at a young age, so it's not so much about the media for me, but moreso about how we teach ourselves & our children to analyze and process the media and become aware about how it affects us and those around us.  For me, as a student of media, honestly, it's the violence that bothers me more than the sexualization.  Because the violence is so pervsive, moreso than sex.  I got so upset during sunday afternoon football because of the violent explosions & gunplay in the video game commercials. 

 

IMO - violence is more detrimental than sex.  It's harder to explain away shooting than it is sex. 

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Old 03-07-2011, 08:57 AM
 
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Yes, this was brought home to me by a friend of my mom's.  Her daughter is involved with the porn industry so I guess the mom is used to all the talk and the images.

 

Anyways, my youngest had a new dress on one day and this mom comes over to visit with my mom while we were there.  So her first comment on seeing my Dd, aged 2, was "Oh, what a pretty dress!  You look so sexy!". 

 

My jaw dropped.  I had never heard of that saying before (its not really common around here), and I had NEVER heard it refered to a kid, nevermind a toddler! 


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Old 03-07-2011, 09:09 AM
 
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IMO - violence is more detrimental than sex.  It's harder to explain away shooting than it is sex. 


I agree.

 

I hope my kids have amazing "knock your socks off" sex in a good relationship later in life. I hope my kid never sees a machine gun fired IRL. 

 

 

But yeah, toddlers and anyone under 13 being remotely sexy makes me squeam. Why advertise if your not selling, YKWIM?

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Old 03-07-2011, 10:40 AM
 
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DD needs underwear and that is a whole other thread. I can't believe some of the styles out there for little girls.

 

My mother bought a bag of undies for DD for back-to-school, she got them at one of those discount warehouse type stores and was just thrilled that she scored 5 pairs for $3.99. Anyway, two of the pairs were 'ok' but the other three were awful. We were hysterical (laughing) holding them up reading them - "2 cute 4 U" with big lipsticky kisses all over the bum of them, or "Purrr-fect!" with a slutty catoon cat on the bum, and " Bee Mine" with two starry eyed, sexy looking bees gazing at each other across the crotch region. Seriously! Bee mine??? Who the heck's that marketed for??? I offered them to DH as shop rags and he was horrified. It was kind of funny. Then I tossed them.

 

Bathing suits are pretty bad too, DD wanted a 2 piece but the only ones I could find were pretty high cut on the hips and skimpy tops (think hairbands) . Finally I found some at Land's End, 2 piece and not Playboy quality. I bought 6 sets in three different sizes, so we're good for the next three summers. 

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Old 03-08-2011, 02:52 PM
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My mother bought a bag of undies for DD for back-to-school, she got them at one of those discount warehouse type stores and was just thrilled that she scored 5 pairs for $3.99. Anyway, two of the pairs were 'ok' but the other three were awful. We were hysterical (laughing) holding them up reading them - "2 cute 4 U" with big lipsticky kisses all over the bum of them, or "Purrr-fect!" with a slutty catoon cat on the bum, and " Bee Mine" with two starry eyed, sexy looking bees gazing at each other across the crotch region. Seriously! Bee mine??? Who the heck's that marketed for??? I offered them to DH as shop rags and he was horrified. It was kind of funny. Then I tossed them.

 

Bathing suits are pretty bad too, DD wanted a 2 piece but the only ones I could find were pretty high cut on the hips and skimpy tops (think hairbands) . Finally I found some at Land's End, 2 piece and not Playboy quality. I bought 6 sets in three different sizes, so we're good for the next three summers. 


Yes! I was trying to find a new suit for DD and there are almost no 2 piece suits that are not bikini. She has already potty trained, so I don't want a one piece suit since it's too difficult to get off in a hurry. I finally found one I like at ON, and REI has some that are more like board suits, shorts and a short sleeve top. I think those are more practical for sun exposure anyhow.

 

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Old 03-08-2011, 03:46 PM
 
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Kohl's, Target, and Old Navy all have very practical tankinis for little girls (I haven't seen them yet at Old Navy, but they did last year)  and also rash guards and skirts or shorts to wear over a suit. My daughter won't wear anything remotely revealing (please, please, let this last for a few more years!) so I've done some serious research. Mostly she had ended up in Speedo one-piece athletic-style suits, with a rash guard on top if she feels like it. If you want to pay more for better quality, Land's End is a mecca for practical, modest-but-not-TOO-modest swimwear seekers!

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