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#1 of 39 Old 04-07-2011, 06:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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One of my first cousins is getting married this June.  I had actually been looking forward to her wedding until the invitation came.   Children under 10 are not invited, and my kids are 9 and 6.  I'm still trying to decide if I'm going to make a now-Herculean effort to go.

 

The wedding is 2 hours from home.  If we hired a sitter, we would have to pay for at least 8 hours.  That would put a hefty dent in our small budget.  We don't have a sitter right now, and I have no idea who we would hire to stay that late.

 

Dh could stay at home with the kids, and I could go by myself.  We'll be at dh's Conference that morning, so that would mean 2 1/2 hours on the road with my family, rushing home and changing, then driving another 2 hours to the wedding.  The service starts at 7:00, with a reception following.  I would need to drive home that night, since dh has to work the next morning.  So the day would involve 6 1/2 hours of driving, and getting home sometime after midnight. 

 

The wedding and reception are being held at a mansion in the middle of nowhere.  The mansion is some sort of conference center built specifically with weddings in mind.  The nearest hotel is 30 minutes from the site, and in the opposite direction from where we live.  So even if I did decide to stay overnight, or bring the kids and have them stay with some unknown sitter at the hotel, it would add another hour to my drive.

 

I'm leaning towards not going at all.  It just seems inconsiderate, asking a wedding guest to travel, then stating that the guest's children are not welcome.  I realize that she is clueless when it comes to kids, but I know that her parents aren't!  They were placed in a similar situation when their daughters were 11 and 7.  My brother's wedding was 600 miles away, and his ex-wife decided that children under 10 were not invited to the reception.  My Mom interevened and asked the brides mother to consider inviting her brother's children to make their stay more enjoyable.  They did reconsider, and my cousin and her sister did go to that reception.

 

When I RSVP, I would like to be honest about why I'm not attending. Something like:

 

Dear Cousin, I'm so disappointed to miss your special day.  I wish we could come, but hiring a sitter for such an extended time is beyond our means.  I hope to see you soon.  Love, Your Cousin

 

To me, that's straightforward and to the point.  I do live in the sugar-coated South, so it's probably too honest.  I'm not sure what to do.

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#2 of 39 Old 04-07-2011, 07:03 PM
 
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Honestly the response you typed above comes off as slightly passive aggressive, almost like your saying "Really? No kids? Well sucks to be you then."  I would just stick with "we are unable to attend" unless she asks for clarification. It's entirely possibly the location doesn't allow for children under ten.


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#3 of 39 Old 04-07-2011, 07:05 PM
 
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Yeah, I agree with MusicianDad. I wouldn't put any reason why you won't be there. A simple "I am unable to attend" is much more polite. If they follow up or ask why, you can explain your reasons then.

 

I also wouldn't go.


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#4 of 39 Old 04-07-2011, 07:11 PM
 
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Dh could stay at home with the kids, and I could go by myself.  We'll be at dh's Conference that morning, so that would mean 2 1/2 hours on the road with my family, rushing home and changing, then driving another 2 hours to the wedding.  The service starts at 7:00, with a reception following.  I would need to drive home that night, since dh has to work the next morning.  So the day would involve 6 1/2 hours of driving, and getting home sometime after midnight. 

 

Could you skip the conference to avoid some of the driving and rush?  If not, I would probably not go, but not mention the kids as a reason unless I was asked.  Do you know anyone else with kids who is attending?  Maybe people could share childcare or figure somethign out as a group?


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#5 of 39 Old 04-07-2011, 07:13 PM
 
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It does sound passive aggressive.

If you are close with her I would call and let her know you wish you could make it but the logistics will not work because you can't find reasonable child care, and DH has work the day of the wedding and the following day. If you are not close a simple 'no' RSVP should suffice.

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#6 of 39 Old 04-07-2011, 07:59 PM
 
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I would just RSVP "unable to attend" & leave it at that.  It really does sound out of the question for you to go unless you're able to skip the conference.


 

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#7 of 39 Old 04-07-2011, 08:03 PM
 
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No need to state the reason, especially because it sounds passive aggressive the way you said it. Just say, "We are unable to attend, but we wish you the best and hope you have a wonderful celebration." 


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#8 of 39 Old 04-07-2011, 08:06 PM
 
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I would just RSVP "unable to attend" & leave it at that.  It really does sound out of the question for you to go unless you're able to skip the conference.


 


Agreed. 

 


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#9 of 39 Old 04-07-2011, 08:07 PM
 
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I agree with PP's just s simple cannot attend on the rsvp is enough. If anyone in your family asks about it just explain that getting childcare etc was too much for your family, but you wish the happy couple well and are sure it's going to be a lovely wedding bla bla bla.

 

I dunno maybe I'm in the minority but I never feel bad if I can't attend a wedding for whatever reason--too far away, kids not welcome whatever.I guess also I tend to think that when people make rules like that they know some people will be unable to come and they are comfortable with that (if they weren't they wouldn't have decided to do it in the first place)...which is fine. It's their wedding it should be how they want it.

 

Stay home, politely decline the invite, and don't sweat it! :)

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#10 of 39 Old 04-07-2011, 09:45 PM
 
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I agree with PP's just s simple cannot attend on the rsvp is enough. If anyone in your family asks about it just explain that getting childcare etc was too much for your family, but you wish the happy couple well and are sure it's going to be a lovely wedding bla bla bla.

 

I dunno maybe I'm in the minority but I never feel bad if I can't attend a wedding for whatever reason--too far away, kids not welcome whatever.I guess also I tend to think that when people make rules like that they know some people will be unable to come and they are comfortable with that (if they weren't they wouldn't have decided to do it in the first place)...which is fine. It's their wedding it should be how they want it.

 

Stay home, politely decline the invite, and don't sweat it! :)



I'm with you - sometimes things don't work out and we can't attend everything we're invited to.  I have no issues with child-free weddings, but right now I don't have a sitter and couldn't attend one if I wanted to.  If a friend of mine gets married across the country, not only can I not leave my child for a whole week but I also can't afford for all of us to travel OR to spend that much on a trip just for me when my whole family would like some (small) vacation at some point this year.  That's how it is.  If the time or the money (or the will) just aren't there, then they aren't. People make choices about where and how to get married, the result is that sometimes people can't make it.  That's life.

 

OP, to me, that's a lot of running around for a wedding and I'd have to REALLY want to go or REALLY love the person getting married to go to that much trouble.  If you decide not to go, I'm with everyone else - the note will read as snotty and it would be uncomfortable for everyone involved.  Just RSVP that you're not attending and leave it.  If anyone asks why, you can explain that you can't find a sitter for eight hours (can you?  who would sit for that long!) and it's a lot of travel for one day.  Sorry, here's a nice gift from your registry, enjoy your lovely wedding.

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#11 of 39 Old 04-08-2011, 01:18 AM
 
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Nothing wrong with politely declining! As other PPs have said, not every invitation is a command performance! But, please, no matter how good it would make you feel, don't say anything about the reasons. Just say, "DH and I are so sorry we're not able to attend. We wish you and your groom a wonderful day and all the best in the future." If you're so inclined, send a nice gift. End of story.
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#12 of 39 Old 04-08-2011, 02:59 AM
 
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I guess also I tend to think that when people make rules like that they know some people will be unable to come and they are comfortable with that (if they weren't they wouldn't have decided to do it in the first place)...which is fine. It's their wedding it should be how they want it.

 

Stay home, politely decline the invite, and don't sweat it! :)


It's their day.  People do strange, bizarre, sometimes downright spiteful things on their days.  But it's still their wedding, and their decision to make.  They shouldn't have to think about others, it's a party for them!

 

If you're really dying to put in a jab, take a photo of your kids with "Have a happy wedding" signs, and send that with a note that says "Sorry we all can't attend, but we love you, and wish you a joyful day, and many happy years together!"  But I would absolutely skip the real explanation, for your cousin, and with family.  Keep that one tucked in, Southern style winky.gif

 


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#13 of 39 Old 04-08-2011, 04:58 AM
 
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I would pass on the wedding. I think it is fine that she does not want kids there. I know kids can ruin things.

 

When she has her own kids I guess she will understand this issue when her kids  are excluded. My kids come first and I would not go to the wedding,but that does not mean it is wrong if you decided on a sitter so you could go. Do whatever you feel is appropriate.

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#14 of 39 Old 04-08-2011, 05:12 AM
 
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I would also pass on this one, and just RSVP with regrets and wish them well. I would not give a reason.  It does come off badly. 

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#15 of 39 Old 04-08-2011, 08:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay, okay.  I won't write the snotty-yet-truthful RSVP.  I did just get an invitation to her shower.  I'll get to see some of my family there.

 

 

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#16 of 39 Old 04-08-2011, 09:23 AM
 
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Sorry I disagree with everyone here (as I always do on these weddings-without-kids threads). Weddings should not just be all about the couple...that is the height of egotistical rude selfishness. They are about family. As such I would be really pissed in your situation to have been looking forward to this great family event only to be told that half of your family was not welcome so that everyone else could enjoy their (if its anything like my family) drunken dancing fest "in peace".eyesroll.gif

Politeness be damned...I would tell her exactly why you can't come. Especially since it sounds like something you were looking forward enjoying. If you really want to go put the family pressure on her...just like was done for your brother's wedding. You should ask her if she has good memories of that wedding mischievous.gif

Why is it ok to marginalize parents of young children at family events??? People's acceptance of such things is exactly why wedding planners keep being exclusionary.
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#17 of 39 Old 04-08-2011, 10:24 AM
 
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Sorry I disagree with everyone here (as I always do on these weddings-without-kids threads). Weddings should not just be all about the couple...that is the height of egotistical rude selfishness. They are about family. As such I would be really pissed in your situation to have been looking forward to this great family event only to be told that half of your family was not welcome so that everyone else could enjoy their (if its anything like my family) drunken dancing fest "in peace".eyesroll.gif

Politeness be damned...I would tell her exactly why you can't come. Especially since it sounds like something you were looking forward enjoying. If you really want to go put the family pressure on her...just like was done for your brother's wedding. You should ask her if she has good memories of that wedding mischievous.gif

Why is it ok to marginalize parents of young children at family events??? People's acceptance of such things is exactly why wedding planners keep being exclusionary.



Because it is not my place to tell somebody who is planning and hosting an event who should be on the guest list.  When you are hosting, you get to make the call.  When people decide to have adults-only weddings, I'm sure most of them realize that some of the invited adults will decline because of it.  That's their call.

 

I don't go to weddings or parties where my kids aren't invited.  I sent my regrets and wish them well.  I have a SIL who throws a huge Martha Stewarty all-day croquet party every summer that is adults-only.  I decline the invitation.  I'm sure she is irritated that we don't get a sitter and go, and she's welcome to be irritated all she'd like.  I'm not going to be irritated because I don't like the parameters of the party she is hosting and funding.  That's her call.

 

Just because some family members are invited to certain occasions, it does not automatically mean every family member is.  I've thrown birthday parties for my kids and invited their cousins, not their aunts and uncles, because my dds wanted a kid party.  I'm hosting and it's my call.  If my sibs and SILs and BILs are irritated, that's their business.

 

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#18 of 39 Old 04-08-2011, 10:32 AM
 
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Because it is not my place to tell somebody who is planning and hosting an event who should be on the guest list.  When you are hosting, you get to make the call.  When people decide to have adults-only weddings, I'm sure most of them realize that some of the invited adults will decline because of it.  That's their call.

 

I don't go to weddings or parties where my kids aren't invited.  I sent my regrets and wish them well.  I have a SIL who throws a huge Martha Stewarty all-day croquet party every summer that is adults-only.  I decline the invitation.  I'm sure she is irritated that we don't get a sitter and go, and she's welcome to be irritated all she'd like.  I'm not going to be irritated because I don't like the parameters of the party she is hosting and funding.  That's her call.

 

Just because some family members are invited to certain occasions, it does not automatically mean every family member is.  I've thrown birthday parties for my kids and invited their cousins, not their aunts and uncles, because my dds wanted a kid party.  I'm hosting and it's my call.  If my sibs and SILs and BILs are irritated, that's their business.

 


I think that it depends on the nature of the event, and in my mind (and experience) weddings are events where the family gets together to celebrate a new partnership. Often it is the only time everyone gets together if folks live all over the country. So in my mind weddings are about family, NOT all about the bride and groom as is the common misperception (fueled by the wedding industry no doubt). Childrens' birthday parties are about the child, and croquet parties are about godknowsw/hat, but weddings are right up there with funerals as being inherently family functions. Would you not allow children at a funeral because they might "mess it up"?

Hey I know that most people disagree with me, I've seen it over and over again on these boards. I just find it so sad to see what weddings have become. A serious cultural reality check seems to be in order.
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#19 of 39 Old 04-08-2011, 10:52 AM
 
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Sorry I disagree with everyone here (as I always do on these weddings-without-kids threads). Weddings should not just be all about the couple...that is the height of egotistical rude selfishness. They are about family. As such I would be really pissed in your situation to have been looking forward to this great family event only to be told that half of your family was not welcome so that everyone else could enjoy their (if its anything like my family) drunken dancing fest "in peace".eyesroll.gif

Politeness be damned...I would tell her exactly why you can't come. Especially since it sounds like something you were looking forward enjoying. If you really want to go put the family pressure on her...just like was done for your brother's wedding. You should ask her if she has good memories of that wedding mischievous.gif

Why is it ok to marginalize parents of young children at family events??? People's acceptance of such things is exactly why wedding planners keep being exclusionary.


Your wedding may have been about family, but that does not mean that everyone's wedding is about family. Everyone gets to choose their own type of wedding. Mine was just my DH, myself, and the justice of the peace.

 

Invitees get to choose whether to attend - they don't get to call the shots about who is invited, or have a choice about "accepting" who is on the guest list.  It's not their business and not their call.

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I have to agree with Chamomille Girl here, I think its selfish and childish to have the "its my day" attitude. I had to make all kinds of compromises at my wedding to make everyone else happy, but ultimately it was about me joining with my husband, not about the wedding itself.

 

 

I would go. Id ask DH to watch them and go alone, or with one of my other cousins. I grew up in the sugar coated south, and honestly my family was blount and to the point. If I said I was unable to attend, they'd ask ,"Why?". I didnt find the note to your cousin passive aggressive at all. Its the truth. You cant afford a sitter for the amount of time she is asking you to be in her company. Thats not passive aggressive. You have no underlying message, it IS the message you are trying to get across.


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#21 of 39 Old 04-08-2011, 12:46 PM
 
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Because it is not my place to tell somebody who is planning and hosting an event who should be on the guest list.  When you are hosting, you get to make the call.  When people decide to have adults-only weddings, I'm sure most of them realize that some of the invited adults will decline because of it.  That's their call.

 

I don't go to weddings or parties where my kids aren't invited.  I sent my regrets and wish them well.  I have a SIL who throws a huge Martha Stewarty all-day croquet party every summer that is adults-only.  I decline the invitation.  I'm sure she is irritated that we don't get a sitter and go, and she's welcome to be irritated all she'd like.  I'm not going to be irritated because I don't like the parameters of the party she is hosting and funding.  That's her call.

 

Just because some family members are invited to certain occasions, it does not automatically mean every family member is.  I've thrown birthday parties for my kids and invited their cousins, not their aunts and uncles, because my dds wanted a kid party.  I'm hosting and it's my call.  If my sibs and SILs and BILs are irritated, that's their business.

 




I think that it depends on the nature of the event, and in my mind (and experience) weddings are events where the family gets together to celebrate a new partnership. Often it is the only time everyone gets together if folks live all over the country. So in my mind weddings are about family, NOT all about the bride and groom as is the common misperception (fueled by the wedding industry no doubt). Childrens' birthday parties are about the child, and croquet parties are about godknowsw/hat, but weddings are right up there with funerals as being inherently family functions. Would you not allow children at a funeral because they might "mess it up"?

Hey I know that most people disagree with me, I've seen it over and over again on these boards. I just find it so sad to see what weddings have become. A serious cultural reality check seems to be in order.


Sometimes it's not because of "it's my day", sometimes it's because of expense. Just saying. If I had invited all the children for our wedding, then I couldn't have paid for it. And if I cut those people off the guest list who had children, they would have been hurt. But then, this didn't really effect anyone because the people who had children at the time were accustom to going out without them. If I had been approached about a situation, I would have made exceptions if needed.

 

Anyway, OP, I agree just say no but feel free to tell the truth when asked why. Surely someone will ask you why.

 

Good Luck!!

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#22 of 39 Old 04-08-2011, 12:58 PM
 
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Sometimes it's not because of "it's my day", sometimes it's because of expense. Just saying. If I had invited all the children for our wedding, then I couldn't have paid for it. And if I cut those people off the guest list who had children, they would have been hurt. But then, this didn't really effect anyone because the people who had children at the time were accustom to going out without them. If I had been approached about a situation, I would have made exceptions if needed.

 

Anyway, OP, I agree just say no but feel free to tell the truth when asked why. Surely someone will ask you why.

 

Good Luck!!


This.  It's not always for selfish reason to not include children.  For my first wedding it was a couple extra grand to include all of my cousins (I'm the oldest so all my cousins were pretty much "kids" high school and younger).  Not all venues offer a sliding scale per age. 

 

My Mom and I fretted for awhile over what to do about the cousins and the cost, and in the end she took out a bigger loan because of how she feels about family.  But not everyone has the option to just "eat the cost". 

 

Though under 10 seems different than no kids at all.  *shrugs*  That seems like a weird arbitary number.

 

I also would not include the reason why and simply mark the "decline with regrets" box.

 

Though I also like the idea of talking to other family members with kids and see about a childcare share thing at the hotel?  Maybe an older cousin could be roped into watching?  That's the job I always got stuck with when it was an aduls only reception.  I'd watch all my younger cousins.  Do you have anyone in the family that would fit that job?
 

 


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#23 of 39 Old 04-08-2011, 01:16 PM
 
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Quote:I think that it depends on the nature of the event, and in my mind (and experience) weddings are events where the family gets together to celebrate a new partnership. Often it is the only time everyone gets together if folks live all over the country. So in my mind weddings are about family, NOT all about the bride and groom as is the common misperception (fueled by the wedding industry no doubt). Childrens' birthday parties are about the child, and croquet parties are about godknowsw/hat, but weddings are right up there with funerals as being inherently family functions. Would you not allow children at a funeral because they might "mess it up"?

Hey I know that most people disagree with me, I've seen it over and over again on these boards. I just find it so sad to see what weddings have become. A serious cultural reality check seems to be in order.


In yuor mind weddings are all about family.  In other people's mind, weddings are about "special days" for adults.  If those other people are hosting the event, what's in their mind is what matters, not what's in yours.  And finances certainly do play into it. 

 

People aren't typically invited to funerals.  An announcement is published and anyone who wants to attend does so. It is an entirely different dynamic than a wedding.  There is not a per head charge for showing up at a funeral.  A family member may invite folks back to their house for food after, but it's not required and it's generally not a formal invitation.  Personally, I would not bring small kids to a funeral because, yes, they might mess it up, and also because it might not be suitable experience for them.

 

I don't understand why this issue gets so many people's knickers in a twist on either side.  It's an invitation.  Go or don't go, but guests don't dictate the terms.  If you are hosting, decide who you want to invite, but you don't get to dictate whether or not the invitees attend.  Pretty simple really.

 

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#24 of 39 Old 04-08-2011, 01:26 PM
 
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Here is what gets my knickers in a twist lol.gif: Why is it ok to marginalize children in our society? We do it all the time, justify it all the time and it seems to come so easily. If you are having a wedding and the price is climbing, why is it that your mind goes first toward eliminating the children? Children are seen as not being as worthy of an invite, or somehow not being able to appreciate the event as much or something? I honestly don't understand it. If it were any other group being purposefully eliminated people would be up in arms (a recent thread about how a disabled uncle was not going to be invited so the bride did not have to accommodate his disability drew gasps of outrage).

I think it is because kids lack a legitimate voice. They are seen as not as important or as "formed" as adults so they matter less in what is essentially an adult world. Weddings are just one symptom of this.
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#25 of 39 Old 04-08-2011, 01:54 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Chamomile Girl View Post

Here is what gets my knickers in a twist lol.gif: Why is it ok to marginalize children in our society? We do it all the time, justify it all the time and it seems to come so easily. If you are having a wedding and the price is climbing, why is it that your mind goes first toward eliminating the children? Children are seen as not being as worthy of an invite, or somehow not being able to appreciate the event as much or something? 


Actually, I DO think that small children are NOT able to appreciate the event as much. They are not usually thrilled to sit quiet during the ceremony, likely not to like the food, and the reception is usually too long for them.
 

 

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#26 of 39 Old 04-08-2011, 02:01 PM
 
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Situations that come up are exactly why having a couple of babysitter options is crucial IMO.  The kids are 9 and 6 - how about setting up sleepovers at their friends' houses?  That would be free, and you could reciprocate sometime.

 

I disagree that it is a Herculean effort to go.  It isn't convenient, but it is doable.  It is once.  For your cousin's wedding that you had been looking forward to and planned to attend.  I have many times driven six to eight hours round trip in one day to attend everything from baby showers to funerals.  If it is important to you to be with that person on their special day, you make the effort. 

I don't think your cousin is inconsiderate or clueless.  I doubt she chose the venue to make it hard for any specific invitee to attend.  They likely thought it was beautiful or unique or had some special significance to them.  Maybe her fiance wanted a destination wedding that was scrapped for being too inconvenient for most guests.  Maybe the two hours away was most centrally located for all concerned?

 

Kids were invited to my wedding and reception; my sister had a no kids wedding/reception - with exceptions for neices and nephews of the bride and groom.  There are pros and cons to each.  Falls under one of the rules of the book, The Four Agreements - take nothing personally.  It feels like you are taking it personally, and aren't going because you are offended that your kids aren't invited. 


 

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#27 of 39 Old 04-08-2011, 03:34 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Chamomile Girl View Post

Here is what gets my knickers in a twist lol.gif: Why is it ok to marginalize children in our society? We do it all the time, justify it all the time and it seems to come so easily. If you are having a wedding and the price is climbing, why is it that your mind goes first toward eliminating the children? Children are seen as not being as worthy of an invite, or somehow not being able to appreciate the event as much or something? I honestly don't understand it. If it were any other group being purposefully eliminated people would be up in arms (a recent thread about how a disabled uncle was not going to be invited so the bride did not have to accommodate his disability drew gasps of outrage).

 

 

Because in many situations (obviously not all) the kids really wouldn't give a hoot if they are invited or not. The adults, however, tend to care very much and have the ability to hold a grudge against their new in-law or friend's wife until the end of time.

We also had to think long and hard about inviting "and guest" for people not in a relationship. In the end we did invite "and guest" because I just couldn't bring myself to not do that. And, yes, I checked with the etiquette books, it's okay.
 

 

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#28 of 39 Old 04-08-2011, 03:52 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Chamomile Girl View Post

Here is what gets my knickers in a twist lol.gif: Why is it ok to marginalize children in our society? We do it all the time, justify it all the time and it seems to come so easily. If you are having a wedding and the price is climbing, why is it that your mind goes first toward eliminating the children? Children are seen as not being as worthy of an invite, or somehow not being able to appreciate the event as much or something? I honestly don't understand it. If it were any other group being purposefully eliminated people would be up in arms (a recent thread about how a disabled uncle was not going to be invited so the bride did not have to accommodate his disability drew gasps of outrage).

I think it is because kids lack a legitimate voice. They are seen as not as important or as "formed" as adults so they matter less in what is essentially an adult world. Weddings are just one symptom of this.


It's a wedding, not health care. 

 

So no one should ever have a very fancy black tie event for just adults?  Kids should be invited to keggers?  It just doesn't make sense.  Children will some day be adults and they can have their own parties and be invited to the fancy (or drunken or just very dull and quiet) parties of others.  "Any other group" is pretty much always going to be what they are - a person who uses a mobility device (like my daughter) will pretty much always need that.  A Black person is going to remain Black and gays will always be gay.  A kid will grow up, mature, and one day probably be able to sit through a long boring wedding quietly and behave appropriately at a reception. 

 

When you host a party, you can invite whomever you want and it can mean whatever you want it to.  Some people?  Do not have or want kids.  Some people want just grown ups at a party.  When they are paying for the party, they get to decide that. 

 

 

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#29 of 39 Old 04-08-2011, 03:58 PM
 
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It's a wedding, not health care. 

 

So no one should ever have a very fancy black tie event for just adults?  Kids should be invited to keggers?  It just doesn't make sense.  Children will some day be adults and they can have their own parties and be invited to the fancy (or drunken or just very dull and quiet) parties of others.  "Any other group" is pretty much always going to be what they are - a person who uses a mobility device (like my daughter) will pretty much always need that.  A Black person is going to remain Black and gays will always be gay.  A kid will grow up, mature, and one day probably be able to sit through a long boring wedding quietly and behave appropriately at a reception. 

 

When you host a party, you can invite whomever you want and it can mean whatever you want it to.  Some people?  Do not have or want kids.  Some people want just grown ups at a party.  When they are paying for the party, they get to decide that. 

 

 


Like I said in a previous post, I think who is invited ought to be determined by the purpose of the event. In my book the purpose of a wedding is for family (and as I said before others disagree). Because I feel the purpose of a wedding is for family I think kids ought always be extended an invite. Plus, excluding children often also excludes their parents.

But hey, you're right...you can have whatever kind of exclusionary wedding you like. But I'm never going to agree with nor condone your reasoning.shrug.gif
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#30 of 39 Old 04-08-2011, 04:05 PM
 
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Though under 10 seems different than no kids at all.  *shrugs*  That seems like a weird arbitary number.

 

 


That's why I'm wondering if the venue had anything to do with it. It seems like the sort of rule an elegant venue might have.

 


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